Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E09, or I haven’t got a FIRST guess..

Onto the final show of this very short series of Whose Line, the compilation. Note that, according to the listing, no sign of Paul Merton, Steve Steen, Russell Fletcher, Steve Frost or Jim Sweeney, which is kind of sad, as I imagine we saw the best of E3 and E7 (which kinda makes sense seeing as those shows are fantastic).

Superheroes: World leaders have been in an Air Crash
Greg: Jelly Man
Ryan: Orangutan Boy
Tony: Male Model Guy
Colin: Continuous Unfunny Pun Man
From: E4

Clive, for the first of several times, twists an audience suggestion from nothing. When asked for a crisis, someone shouts out “Sun lowers its prices!”
Clive: “…and there was major in an air crash- World leaders in an air crash.”
Greg, as usual, does his “A-HAHAHAHAHAHA”-drops expression.

Clive: “Jelly man’s good, let’s go with Jelly Man.”
Greg, being a smartass: “You got a different jelly here.”
Clive: “Well, what d’you call it in America, then?”
Greg: ‘We call it jell-O.”
Clive: “Oh, then simultaneous translation there, in fact. Anytime I say Jelly, it means Jello, in America.”
Greg, in a moment of sheer genius: “…and anytime I say ‘Naff Git’, it means Clive Anderson!”
The audience applauds at this one.
Greg: “Thank you, I’ll be here the rest of the night. [motioning to the rest] These are my friends.”
Clive: “D’you wanna sit down now?”
Greg: “I’m pretty much done, yeah.”

Ryan, with the pun of the century: “Hello, Jelly Man, I see you’re set!”

Ryan nails Orangutan Boy, because it goes back to his way of easily replicating almost any animal perfectly. He can just break into the physicality.

Tony  jumping in: “I’m here, just in time…whoever the bloody hell I am…”

Colin’s means he has to come up with puns as often as he can, so there is obviously some lag
Greg: “look, the plane’s going down!”
Colin: “…darn.”
and then, finally: “Well, of course it’s going down, that’s PLANE to see!”

Tony: “I’VE GOT A BETTER IDEA, I’LL POINT THE WAY THEY DO IN CATALOGUES!”
Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 11.34.57 PM.png

Ryan, with one more good joke up his sleeve: “I’ve got to go, there’s a new Charlton Heston movie out…”

Very, very funny game, that was also as strong as the banter preceding it.

Whose Line: Ryan goes to private detective Colin because he suspects his wife is cheating on him
From: E1

Clive, in introing the game: “This is, um, obviously the game of the, uh, album.”
Ryan cracks up at this.

Clive has a lag where he forgets which game he’s introing, then gets into it and Ryan AND Colin look ASTONISHED as to what game they’re playing. Ryan tilts his head in amazement. Then, Clive realizes that he has to hand them lines, right as Ryan’s eyes are popping out.

Colin: “Your wife screwing around?”
Ryan: “How’d you know?”
Colin: “I’m a dick.”

Ryan: “I saw there, on the door: “Phil Blazer, detective….”Never put sticky tape on hairy places…”
Colin: “That’s my motto…I may change it because it doesn’t seem to bring in the people…”

Colin: “My, uh…mentor…”
Ryan: “JIM Blazer?”
Colin: “Right, he always used to say to me…’I hope you remember to take the cat out of the fridge.”
Ryan: “That’s important, I guess.”
Colin: “It is for the cat.”
Ryan: “Wonder if they ever put tape on ’em.”
Colin: “That’s…beside the point!”

Colin: “What does your wife look like?”
Ryan: “Well, she’s…tall…blonde hair, brown nose…”

Colin: “Well, I have to say something, because I am the man for you…”when did you learn to limbo dance?”
Ryan, as Clive buzzes, limbos suggestively.

Another funny Whose Line scene, owed to the Colin-Ryan duo.

Song Styles: Josie sings a love song about secateurs
From: E2

An alternate take.

Clive: “How about secateurs, that’s a nice easy rhyming thing, isn’t it?”
Josie:
Screen Shot 2018-02-09 at 11.59.26 PM.png

Clive: “Garden shears, and/or secateurs. I’ll give you the choice.
Josie: “Thank you, Clive.”

Josie does eventually dig up a great rhyme: “I’m sick of you, and i’m sick of tears/secateurs.”

Very fun song, though not a career highlight for Josie.

Alphabet: Mike and Tony are two pilots landing a plane, beginning with Q
From: E7

Mike: “Quentin, can you open up the flats, we’re coming in pretty fast.”
Tony, without an option: “…right.”

This is a very silly scene, as both participants are close to losing it, but Tony narrowly avoids it with his X and Z choices.

Tony suddenly completely loses it: “BLOODY HELL! The petrol’s….falling out of the back of the plane!”
Mike: “….COR BLIMEY, GOV, WE’RE GONNA CRASH!”

Tony: “….HELP! HELP!”
Mike: ” ‘In case of an emergency, scream real camp’ yeah, that’s gonna help.”

Tony: “JEANETTE! Quick- [loses it again] SERVE US SOME COFFEE!”

The scene ends right as Mike and Tony are about to die laughing, which makes this a very funny scene even if it wasn’t a good playing of the game.

Film Dub: Josie goes for a lead part in Ryan’s opera
From: E2

This is more of a well-done scene than a funny one, though Josie launching into a Cilla Black impression is definitely a highlight.
Ryan: “Welll….that’s not very good, is it?”

This game improved once Ryan’s character started taking his clothes off, and asked for lederhosen rubbed down with vasoline, so it at least took a strange turn, but still a lower-tier film dub.

Stand Sit Bend: Colin, Ryan and Tony are at the dentist’s office
From: E8

Colin and Tony have a moment pre-game where they’re both deciding who gets to lean, and neither can make up their mind. Colin takes it, but Tony cracks a bit.

Ryan: “It’s just your nurse looks a bit tense…”
Colin: “No, I just ate some bad garlic today..”

This game does feature quite a bit of ‘screwing over someone else’ type of humor, prescribing someone else to bend over, or telling someone else to explain, usually initiated by Ryan.

Plus, this is the kind of matchup that can switch positions uniformly, so the initial lag wears off quickly, and when Tony bends, Ryan stands, and then back again. It’s a well-oiled machine.

Of course, then, at the end, Tony sits down to make a point to Ryan, also sitting down. Colin, not knowing what to do, alternates rapidly between standing and bending until Ryan, FIVE SECONDS LATER, realizes he forgot to stand and completely cracks up.

Then, in retribution, Ryan keeps changing positions, standing to sitting to standing again to leaning, just to screw up the other players.

A fantastic SSB game, one that had more energy and comedic value to it than any one of these in a while.

Props: Ryan and Josie vs. Greg and Mike
From: E5

I think that Ryan and Josie’s prop may be one of the most ineffective ones ever given out on the show. From the moment they’re handed it, none of them know what to do with it.

Not a great Props round, but Mike and Greg had some nice ones.

Questions Only: Colin tries to buy a motorcycle from Ryan
From: E8

Colin: “DOES THE NAME ‘POPE PAUL’ MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?”
Ryan: “Is that who you are?”
Colin: “Am I catholic?”
HA. That’s a nice subversion of Colin’s usual rhetorical question.

Ryan hops on the motorcycle behind Colin
Colin, worried: “…what’s that?”
Ryan: “…haven’t you felt one of those before??’

Amusing, but not necessarily a highlight. These would get better once it became a quickfire round.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Greg: Jewish mother
Colin: thinks he’s a crab
Ryan: Olympic tobogganist
From: E1

Tony: “Well I’m expecting my party guests soon, but I can’t tear myself away from Good Morning with Anne and Nick!”

Tony, after Greg kvells about standing out in the cold: “…you miserable GIT, come on in…”

Colin’s crab motions, especially in grabbing food, are fantastic, and allow for some easy laughs right when he enters.

Ryan’s motions with Tony are pretty great, sitting him in the bobsled with him (‘HEY, DIP….CHIPS….DIP….CHIPS!”)
Tony: “…I don’t know who you are but it’s a lot of fun…”

Tony has no idea who Ryan is, even as he gives obvious clues, so Ryan just keeps saying things, like “I LOVE ICE…SLIPPING AND SLIDING ON ICE…”
Clive: “Come on, last guess, Tony…”
Tony: “I haven’t got a FIRST guess…”

Clive, putting Tony out of his misery: “I’ll give you Cardinal Richelieu, he’s an olympic tobogganist.”
Tony: [breaks]

Pretty fun round, even if Tony was losing it as it went on.

Bartender: Josie
Greg: Angry about being made redundant
Ryan: drinking to forget his wife
Mike: has bad breath
From: E5

Greg: “I’m a plastic surgeon/ it is the pits.
I just got fired for/cutting off too many tits.”

Josie’s return verse is pretty cute, ending with a suggestion to ‘come back to the bar and give me a facelift’.

The track for Ryan’s verse is a very Police/Smiths-esque alt-rock tune, and Ryan’s singing actually matches that, which is nice.

Josie, turning the game on its head: “WELL YOU KNOW, SOME HUSBANDS ARE LYING, CHEATING, BRAZEN UTTER SKUNKS.
SOME HUSBANDS ARE PEOPLE WHO SIT IN BARS, AND ARE BLEEDIN’ LOUSY DRUNKS.”
Ryan, getting the twist, recoils with the bottle of alcohol in hand.
Josie: “Your wife should have left you, that’s easy to see.
And I’ll tell you why, cause that wife was me.”
Absolutely fantastic verse, one that changes the meaning of Ryan’s, and should be a ton more remembered than it is.

Mike, getting his, with a smirk: “God, all these weight references, I’ve never heard them before…original material…”

Mike’s first bit is genius. He closes his mouth for the entire leadup, even to drink, and then right as his first verse starts (“..HHHHALITOSIS…”, he sharply turns in Josie’s direction. Josie’s already hiding her nose.

After Mike’s fantastic verse, directly in Josie’s face
Josie: “…well you ha-” [exhales]

Josie has a fantastic, elongated return verse, ending in the advice to ‘always keep your mouth shut’. Putting a capper on a really nice game of Bartender.

Best Performer: Ryan Stiles by a hair, but I easily could have picked Colin, Josie or Mike
Worst Performer: Tony, who had the most amount of flaws across the clips.
Best Game: Stand Sit Bend over Bartender, for being a bit more wholly funny.
Worst Game: Props. Not even close.

SERIES 5 SUPERLATIVES

Best Episode: Episode 7. Possibly one of the best of the series, putting it up against S04E02. Everyone was on, every game mattered, every performer had moments that made me laugh, the series finally decided to embrace running gags, and Mike McShane took the reins of the show like it was 1991 again.
2nd Best Episode: Episode 3, the other Sweeney and Steen show, and one that soared thanks to the presence, one last time, of Paul Merton, having a great time after composing himself, and jelling well with Tony, especially during Film and Theatre Styles and an uproarious Party Quirks.
3rd Best Episode: Episode 5, the other Mike McShane show, and the one where everyone, including a vindicated Greg Proops, a stronger Josie Lawrence, and the show’s new staple Ryan Stiles, were on the exact same page, culminating in some great teamwork, some really fun moments, and a News Report playing that made me die laughing.
Worst Episode: Episode 6. Greg, Ryan, Colin and Josie couldn’t put it together, Superheroes notwithstanding.
Best Performer: Ryan Stiles, for continuing his reign on the UK series while still knowing when to act as a team player. Mike McShane was considered.
Worst Performer: Russell Fletcher, for being very ‘meh’ in his only appearance.
Most Improved: Greg Proops, who had never really excelled on the show very often before this series, now picking fights with Clive, establishing chemistry with Josie and Ryan, and having some funnier moments.
Performer We Wish Wasn’t Done After This Series: Paul Merton. He would have done so well working with Ryan, Colin and Steve.

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