Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S07E03, or “….SUSTAINED!”

Frost. Mochrie. Stiles. Slattery. Together for the last time. Ohhh, this could be pretty epic.

Film and Theatre Styles: Ryan and Colin (two people in a canoe in the Amazon)

Clive, fielding suggestions: “GRANGE HILL? Yeah, that should sort out our trans-atlantic cousins…”

Then, some genius audience member shouts out “WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?”
Clive: “…but that’s what we’re DOING now, isn’t it?”

Colin: “DAMN PIRANHA!”
Ryan: “You know, the hippos can be quite fierce here. You wouldn’t think of them as a mean animal, but they can a man apart.”
Colin: “…what about a woman?”
Ryan, smirkingly taking this the other way: “Welll, a woman can rip a man apart too, but…”

Mission Impossible
Ryan, as the tape: “Hello, gentlemen. Your mission is to canoe up the river. Should you choose to-” CHH, It self-destructed early!”

Colin, making a cheeky pun: “Let’s go to the bank there…I have to get some money anyway…”

Star Trek
Ryan, nerve pinching Colin: “…I didn’t know you thought of me that way…”
Colin: “It has been 7 years..”

Ryan: “There seems to be another canoe coming into our zone.”
Colin: “…MY GOD, IT’S A HIPPO!”
Clive: “…Dinosaur movie.”
Ryan: [nearly cracks, not expecting that]

Then, to end the scene, Colin, FOR THE FIRST TIME ON WHOSE LINE, rolls out his velociraptor impression and starts roaming around.

A very good, well-improvised, and quite silly F&TS scene.

Animals: Steve, Ryan and Tony act out a scene from Brookside as dogs.

For the second episode in a row, Tony has to do a Brookside scene, and my god does he ADORE that show. He WINCES when he discovers this has to be a Brookside scene.

Tony and Steve get this off to a great stuff, mixing the Northern shrieking with dogs noises seamlessly, and mixing in conversations about drugs with occasional leg-lifting. The contrast WORKS.

Ryan comes in and calls the characters by the wrong names (again, he doesn’t watch Brookside), but it’s forgiven when all three run around sniffing butts.

The scene ends and Steve immediately breaks. It was better than the last one, but so goshdarned silly that everyone involved cracked at least once.

Old Job New Job: Colin’s getting an operation from Ryan- Steve, a fellow surgeon, enters, but he used to be a hairdresser.

Ryan: “It’s a boy……you, I mean-”
Colin: “Yes, yes, I am a boy…”

Steve, entering: “Wait a minute, has he asked you if you want a cup of coffee yet?”

Steve asks Ryan for the tongs. Ryan gives it to him, Steve yelps in pain, then motions for him to give it to him the other way. That’s a nice little comedy detail.

Steve: “So, d’you go anywhere nice on your holidays?” [stabs Colin]

Another very silly scene, though not exactly bad. Steve definitely sold it.

Press Conference: Tony, the first man to make love in space, is interviewed by Ryan, Colin and Steve

A welcome premiere for this game. I find it odd that Tony’s guessing, as it’d later become a Colin showcase game.

Colin: “Was there any special equipment involved?”
Tony: “A certain amount of flour and eggs…and a snorkel…”

Colin: “How long did it take you before you could reenter?”
Tony, after the applause dies down: “Well, my wife’s very understanding…”

Ryan: “Have you ever seen Uranus?
Tony: “Many, many times, yes…”

Tony: “And last question, I think.”
Clive: “No, last GUESS, I think…”
Tony: “Look, this is MY BLOODY PRESS CONFERENCE…SHUT IT!”
Ryan: “Is this the first black hole you’ve encountered?”
Tony: [dials back laughing]

Clive: “Strange thing is you got everything but the sexual innuendo, which we thought would have been a gift for you, but there you go…”

A pretty nice debut round, helped by some funny questions and Tony being very sharp with responses.

Hey You Down There: Gardening, narrated by Steve, featuring Ryan and Colin

Another new game, though it feels odd not being narrated by Greg (or Denny Siegel)

Steve: “But wait a minute! What about that shovel you’re using! Shouldn’t you unwrap it first?”
Colin: [facepalms]

Ryan, in cleaning his shovel, smacks Colin in the face with it. This game is great because it’s a great source of casual slapstick and good miming.  Immediately after, Colin nails Ryan in the balls, and Ryan goes searching around for a missing testicle.

Steve: “Let’s put those seeds in!”
Colin: [throws some down, smiling]
Steve: “That’s right! We want some decent marijuana next year, don’t we?”
Ryan: [mimes smoking a joint]

Steve: “But don’t forget to disguise it so the police don’t see it.”
Ryan: [oh right’ signal]
Steve: “What do we use?”
Colin and Ryan start moving stuff in front
Steve: “That’s right, GIANT GARDEN GNOMES…No wonder they smile all the time…”

A surprisingly fun scene, with Steve really impressing as narrator, nailing the style completely, and with some fun mime work from Ryan and Colin.

World’s Worst: ad campaign

Clive: “You don’t have to include any you’ve appeared in, but away you go.”
Steve, regardless: “Carling Black Label gets you pissed.”
The audience applauds this one. Steve takes several beats, before going back up.
Steve: “Oh, and it pays rather well as well…”

Ryan: “Jimmy’s patented leather shoes. They’ll fit up your ass!”
Colin: “Many people think it’s in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum….BUT COME ON DOWN. WE’RE GOING CRAAAAZYYYY!!!”
Steve, Australian accent: “You take HOW MANY dildos into the shower???”
Tony: “…FOUR.”

Picked up as it went along. Pretty good stuff all around, save for Tony, who was only good when he supplanted other jokes.

Courtroom Scene: “Case of the Stolen Chicken”
Colin’s judge, Steve’s the prosecutor, Ryan and Tony are witnesses.

Colin starts the scene by banging his gavel right by Steve’s hand, then immediately apologizing for it.
Steve: “OBJECTION, THAT BLEEDIN’ HURT!”

Steve: “Could you please raise your right hand…put it down, that stinks…”

Tony announces his character name.
Steve, just at that: “HA HAAAAH!”
Colin, commenting on the laughs that Steve got for that: “Sustained!”
Steve turns and gives him a ‘good one’ expression.

Steve asks Tony, wearing this thick fur hat, where he was on the date of the murder
Tony: “I was inserting myself into this badger.”

Colin: “PLEASE CALL YOUR SECOND WITNESS then call your mother, she worries.”

Ryan: “I raise chickens, I kill ’em, I freeze ’em and I eat ’em!”
Steve: “Sooo, this man would have EVERY MOTIVATION TO STEEEALLL THE CHICKENNN!”
Ryan: “Not really, I own the farm.”
Steve: “….NO FURTHER QUESTIONS YOUR HONOR! I made a complete prat of m’self on that one!”
Colin: “YOU BETTER COME UP WITH SOMETHING MORE SUSTAINING…I’m tired, go ahead!”

After Tony prattles with Steve
Colin, banging his gavel repeatedly: “OBJECTION! SUSTAINED!….THIS COURTROOM IS A MOCKERY!”
[HAAAAAAHHHH! A legendary self-referential pun]

Colin, still banging: “I WANT MY NEXT WITNESS!”
Suddenly, as if by magic, the top of the gavel flies off, and Colin watches as it arcs and falls to the ground.
Steve: “I’m sorry, your honor. Where’s the end of your gavel?”
Colin: “It’s immaterial!”

Top to bottom hysterical, with great lines coming from all ends, and some really good comedy throughout, intentional and no.

Helping Hands: Steve is training boxer Ryan (ft. Colin’s hands)

The first big laugh of the scene is Ryan attempting to throw his mouth guard in by putting it in the boxing glove. He peers around with the mouthguard hanging from his teeth. It’s pretty amusing.

Then, Steve hands Ryan the squeeze water bottle, which Ryan takes some of…then puts the bucket in front of Ryan, which he immediately spits it back into.

Steve starts training Ryan, and tricks him, by bopping him with the pad whenever he doesn’t aim the right way. Steve is quick enough to be right up there with Ryan, actively leading the scene, which is a relief for Ryan, who usually has to carry it.

Ryan, looking at the headgear: “I dunno if that’s gonna fit around my waist.”

Steve, ringing the bell: “Oh, dinner’s ready! No, wait…”

Another very silly scene, with some more great work from Steve Frost, leading the game and putting Ryan through stuff.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Steve: mime artist
Colin: parachutist
Ryan: a fish being reeled in

Tony, within 5 seconds of Steve’s: “…oh, not another boring mime artist…”

Tony also guesses Colin’s within 10 seconds. I’m guessing, given the theme, that Ryan’s is going to give him some trouble.

Ryan flops around on the ground, bobbing his head up and down with the hook. Tony just stands there and watches. For 15 seconds. Ryan just stays in this exact position, as Tony struggles to think of something, eventually going “…is it Dan Quayle?”

Tony does eventually get it, which may be one of the last few times he gets everyone in a game of Party Quirks.

Hoedown: Reading the Will

[Colin is the most unenthused of the four to do this particular hoedown]

Steve manages to do a really nice verse for once, after hearing he got 3 million quid
“So I went out and bought a horse, AND THIS IS WHAT I DID!”
[Mimes riding a horse]

Ryan has a pretty nice one, about using his dead brother in his ventriloquist act, which has Colin and Steve confusedly laughing.

Tony, as usual, goes for a blue one that isn’t very funny.

Overall: Probably the weakest of this particular matchup’s episodes together, but still a relatively good show, featuring one of Steve Frost’s best showings, a great rendition of Courtroom Scene, and some generally nice Ryan-Colin stuff. However, the show is brought down a bit by a ton of games in the middle that skewed more silly than funny, and another disappointing Tony Slattery performance.

Show Winner: Steve
Best Performer: Steve Frost, for dominating all of his games, and proving he’ll be able to survive without Tony
Worst Performer: Tony Slattery, for being a bit off yet again
Best Game: Courtroom Scene, for just being a really seamless, line-by-line hysterical scene from everyone.
Worst Game: Hoedown, for having the least amount of good stuff.

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