Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S07E05, or Don’t Bring Clive James into this!

The last time we had this matchup, of Ryan, Greg, Mike and Tony, it was a nearly immortal show, S06E04, the Neon Love Chicken show. Now we have everyone back, but Tony’s not himself, and Mike, as well as Tony, is beginning his first of two final-ish shows (what show in Series 9? Such a show doesn’t exist!) The dynamic may be a bit different, but damn if these guys won’t try.

Note that there’s a random guy sitting behind Clive in a Cleveland Indians hat. Didn’t expect to see that until Drew Carey got the reins.

Film and Theatre Styles: Ryan and Greg (person with odd insect bite ‘that’s going weird’ and friend)

Greg, after a ton of animated show suggestions: “Evidently we live in cartoon world! Has anyone ever seen live actors do anything?”
Clive: “…Once they’ve seen you, that’s enough.”
ADV. – Anderson

Greg: “Oh, you weren’t kidding, look at the size of that thing!”
Ryan, directly evoking the scene description: “IT’S GOING WEIRD!”

Charlie’s Angels
Ryan: “Oh look, it’s spreading to my beautiful breasts!”

The Beavis and Butthead style is just to confirm that Ryan and Greg have really, really good Beavis and Butthead impressions in their repertoire.

Greg, in the baseball movie style, uses this rough, squeaky voice for the team doctor that’s so ridiculous that it cracks up Ryan
Ryan: “…I can’t understand a bloody word you’re saying!”

A quaint, inoffensive, but still alright scene.

Animals: Mike, Tony and Ryan act out a soap opera as penguins

There’s not a ton of physicality deviation here, as all three are just acting and walking around stiffly with their arms at their sides. Ryan, in doing these movements, nearly cracks after a bit.

Ryan and Mike start trying to head-butt Tony
Tony: “Stoppit, both of you, this is no time for a penguin three-way!”

This does get sillier as it goes along, as it’s revealed that Mike’s also pregnant. Then, in jealousy, Tony starts headbutting/having sex with Ryan from behind to end the game.

Very silly, but definitely picked up as it went on, and got funnier once the performers knew what they were dealing with.

Film Dub: Ryan is a briefcase salesman trying to sell to Greg

Ryan: “What are you working on there?”
Greg: “Oh, just drawing pictures of my eyebrows, they’re extremely large!”

Ryan: “If you sign those papers immediately, it could also come with a free negligee!”
Greg: “Negligee? How do I know it’ll fit?”
Ryan: “HEYYY, IT’LL FIT! It’ll rip those caterpillars right off your eyelids!”

Greg ends the scene by throwing Ryan out, but Ryan keeps going
Ryan: “But you can try the negligee on for me anyway! [as the character turns around] Look, I’ll turn my back!”

Fairly funny scene, though not as consistent as the last Greg-Ryan one

Let’s Make a Date: Greg chooses
Ryan: Greg’s ex-husband
Tony: Noddy
Mike: hard-bitten army sergeantĀ 

As LMAD games go, this is pretty basic, with Ryan doing some great, bitter work on the end, but Tony and Mike are pretty on-the-nose with theirs.

Greg: “Number 2, how big is your house?”
Tony: “…not as big as my friend’s ears!”

There’s a nice moment where Tony and Clive are both trying to give Greg the answer, but he’s so unaware that he misses it.

Greg, amusingly enough, doesn’t get any of them, but I owe that more to this being the first iteration of this game.

Clive: “People often ask me ‘do games ever go wrong on a taping of Whose Line’…and there’s your answer.”
Greg, still not over it: “NODDY???”

World’s Worst: Thing to see while flipping through TV channels

[Immediately upon hearing the suggestion, Greg gives Clive a look]

Mike: “Ooh. Oh baby. Oh yeah. …..MOM!”
Tony: “It’s Anne Diamond.”
Mike: “It’s the OJ Simpson trial, year 2526…”

Greg comes up as an alien, and absolutely cracks up right in the middle, for no reason.

Then Greg comes up with his shoulders hunched, as Clive…which Clive notices IMMEDIATELY, buzzing before Greg can even say a word. Greg, hurt, audibly reacts and comes back to the step

Tony: “Oh, it’s that show where Clive patronizes lots of different people around the world!”
Clive: “Don’t bring Clive James into this!”
Tony: “No, I meant Clive Anderson!”

Tony: “And we’re back to round three of saliva darts…[spits across the room]”
Mike, under the audience applause: “YES!!!”
He even high-fives Tony as they walk back

A really, REALLY GOOD round of World’s Worst.

Props: Ryan and Tony vs. Greg and Mike

A ton of snafus mark the first bit. Ryan struggles to get the prop under him as a sumo wrestler, while Mike, acting as a human croquet ball, knocks both of the props over, much to Clive’s delight.

Plus, Ryan and Tony struggle get the props in place for another one.
Clive: “This better be good.”
Ryan, throwing the prop on his head: “HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUT WITH A Q-TIP BEFORE??”

Of course, all this zaniness does result in a truly funny moment between the two:
Screen Shot 2018-03-21 at 4.21.41 PM.png

Ryan: “That looks like a german U-Boat”

Screen Shot 2018-03-21 at 4.23.35 PM.pngMike, immediately: “NO…*THIS* LOOKS LIKE A GERMAN U-BOAT!”

The right amount of zaniness in this one, even if there were a few haphazard moments throughout.

Film Trailer: Jelly Wars: Greg narrates, Ryan, Mike and Tony act out

Greg, remembering last time: “Are we into a jelly like Jello situation, or a jelly-like jam?”
Clive: “It’s up to you, Greg…go crazy…use the word ‘jelly’ in any case”
Greg: “This is the nuttiest game that could ever be, Mr. A!”
Clive: “Could you not give a two-syllable word, it’s confusing our American friends…”

Greg, eyeing Clive: “FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU JELLO WARS, and the people who brought you ORANGE MARMALADE WARS…”

Greg: “A gigantic floating vessel is built, and the rebels must destroy it.”
Mike, as the vessel, floats onto stage, as Tony and Ryan fling jam at him.

Greg: “And introducing that new hero of the screen, Harrison SNORD, as Luke Nimnamber.”
Ryan: “I wish I had a condom.”

Then, as Greg signs off, going ‘NO ONE WILL BE SEATED DURING THE LAST 15 CONFUSING SCENES’, MIke, as the vessel, floats right towards the camera.

Silly, and not as good as other recent Film Trailers, but still fun.

Party Quirks: Tony hosts
Greg: Tony’s good and bad angel
Mike: thinks he’s come to a 19th century whorehouse
Ryan: has come to ride Tony’s camel

The first of two straight Party Quirks designed to completely break Tony Slattery.

Once the game’s announced, some bloke in the audience goes ‘EY!’ Tony, knowing what he’s ‘ey’-ing for, nods, wincing.

Greg: “This is wonderful, Tony. This is the most wonderful party that could EVER BE- [switching shoulders]- ARE THERE GONNA BE PEOPLE WE CAN HAVE GROUP SEX WITH?”
Tony: “…well, it’s just a normal party for me…”

Mike, entering: “I’ll take my hat and coat, my sexual appetite is that of a JAGUAR, and I need something to quench my engine.”
Tony: [breaks]


Then, as Mike talks to Tony, Ryan jumps on the camel, and starts bobbing up and down, going ‘WEE-HAAWW’, repeatedly. Even as Tony’s trying to pay attention to Mike, he can’t help but notice Ryan.

Tony then gets the camel out from under him, and puts him on the other side of the room. Then, as Tony offers up twiglets, Ryan runs over and hops back on the camel, continuing. At that exact moment, the sight of Ryan turns Mike on. If I were Tony in this situation, I’d be cracking up too.
Tony: “…You’re from Wales!”
Ryan: “….” [continues riding]

Tony finally gets Ryan, after another 10 seconds of laughing.

Clive: “What’s Mike?”
Tony: “Yes, alright, I’m getting there!….Uh, I don’t know!”

Clive, finally giving it to Tony: “Mike thinks he’s in a 19th century whorehouse…which is surprisingly similar to riding a camel…”

Helping Hands: Mike has a high-powered business lunch with Ryan (ft. Greg’s hands)

Mike starts the scene by calling an offscreen boss. Ryan, grabbing another cell-phone, jumps onto the call himself.

Ryan snaps the cork off of a bottle of wine, seeing it’s a September 1995 wine (not very old, I guess). Then he pours an overflowing amount of wine into the glass. And then he sticks his tongue in the glass like a dog. Nobody like Ryan Stiles.

A bit more frenzied and haphazard than this game usually is, but still pretty amusing just for Ryan.

Overall: Third ‘okay’ show in a row. Yes, some games, like Party Quirks and World’s Worst, elevate from the alright-ness, but a ton of games didn’t really get off the ground, and a lot wasn’t as realized as it could have been. Ryan, once again, had a really nice show, Greg’s arguing with Clive made for good TV, and Mike’s usual energy gave for some great moments. Tony…ONCE AGAIN…succumbed to his anxiety and drug use. This was becoming a perennial problem, so much so that next episode would illuminate completely the full extent of it.

Show Winner: Ryan
Best Performer: Ryan, again doing what he does best without effort
Worst Performer: Tony
Best Game: Party Quirks. Literally everyone made me laugh in this game
Worst Game: Helping Hands


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