Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S08E02, or HELLO FOOT!

One of the producers’ many tactics this season is to ingratiate other british performers into the fold…with Ryan and Colin. Which is a reverse of what they did in the beginning by slowly filtering Americans in.

Oh well. Rory Bremner is back tonight, after some decent showings in S1 and 6, and he’ll recur over the next two series, but only in episodes with Greg Proops…which is odd, because I wonder what he’d be like working with Josie or Steve.

Let’s Make a Date: Greg chooses
Rory: Prince Charles
Colin: In love with his own body
Ryan: a former business partner ripped off by Greg

Rory Bremner doing an impression of a royal. Of course. I just wish it were Hugh Dennis.

Greg: “What secluded place would you take me to?”
Rory: “Cornwall”
Greg: “…Cornwall?”
Rory: “Yeah, anywhere, I own most of it.”

Colin’s quirk is so…Colin…that Rory breaks a bit at it.

After some bitter Ryan lines
Greg: “…where would YOU take me?”
Ryan: “I’d probably take you somewhere where the sound of a gun couldn’t be heard…”

Greg: “#2-”
Colin: “HELLO FOOT!”
Greg: “….#3!”

Clive: “You think you’ve got it, Greg?”
Greg: “Oh, I think I do, Clive, but you know how this goes. There’s the hope of me getting it, and then the crushing disappointment of my actual guess…”

Greg gets everyone but Ryan, and then, as he returns the stools, he mutters to Ryan “George Washington?”. I don’t know WHY he mutters this, and we cut away before I can facially figure out why.

Solid enough round, but not as good as last show’s.

Secret: Ryan and Colin are Mr. and Mrs. Noah
Location: under the boat

Colin: “I’m tired of cleaning up after all of these animals.”
Ryan: “Hey, that’s your job, I BUILT the thing…”
Colin: “…two elephants. THANK YOU…”

Colin eventually reveals the secret, which is ‘…eighteen commandments’, which gets Ryan to break a bit.
Ryan: “I thought we’d better bring some spares along in case we break a few of the first ones.”
Colin: “‘Thou Shalt Not Wear Leather?”
Ryan: “Thou Shalt Not Lend Money? I thought that was a good one. I JUST MADE ‘EM UP!”

Colin evokes the lord’s word
Ryan: “You don’t have to listen to the lord about everything! LOOK! THREE PENGUINS!”
I always love that bit, especially the way Ryan reveals it

Colin pleads with Ryan to separate the rabbits, which ends him rabbits piling up to his armpits.
Ryan: “…and now we’re up to our asses in rabbits…”

Ryan, after Colin tries calling the lord, admits something else: “…You know how we said two of everything? I’d like you to meet Theresa.”

A stellar, fast-moving Secret game, with some great jokes building off of each other, and Ryan and Colin equally screwing each other over.

Film Dub- Ryan, Greg and Rory (one day on the street)

It’s an episode of the Saint, so…Rory’s Roger Moore impression makes a much needed second appearance.

This one is funny because of the implied sexual tension between Rory’s Simon Templar and Greg’s Mustached Cabbie. Greg even goes “boy, he IS standing close, I can feel almost all of him.”
Rory: “Right, now…how about you and I go right behind tHAT BIKE SHED OVER THERE…”

After Greg leaves, placated by a fiver
Ryan: “Boy, if he’s worth five, I’m at least worth ten, doncha think?”

Rory, surprisingly, carried the scene himself, and did so splendidly, though his Moore impression was better in 6×07 (“…afternoon everyBODY…”)

Sports Commentators: Greg and Rory cover Colin and Ryan: showing off to a girl at a nightclub

Rory leads here with a scottish accent, but Ryan and Colin surprisingly do more of the directing here, with Ryan throwing a punch in, and Colin elbowing Ryan in the balls.

Greg and Rory do decide to pull a ‘let’s do that again’ slo-mo, which Ryan and Colin gladly recreate. There’s not a lot about this one that’s scene specific, as it’s mainly just your average Ryan-Colin sparring.

Not a ton to this one, but it felt like they were trying.

World’s Worst: Outtakes from a News Documentary/Program

Colin, running towards the camera: “…..IT’S A TIDAL WAVE!!!!”

Ryan: “These sharks are mostly found off the coast of-” [acts like his hand’s been bitten off] “AAAGH! AAAGH!” [smirkingly pulls his hand out of the sleeve]

Greg: “I’m here in the small, strife-torn Central American country of Gawanda, where the prostitutes are the cheapest I have found.”
Greg: “…what? WHAT?”

Colin: “Due to our slipping ratings, our next story…[song-and-dance routine]…FIFTY DEAD IN MANITOBA! SIXTY KILLED IN…”

Rory, after having a quiet round, drags Colin up with him, makes out with him, and then signs off “…Martin Bashir, BBC…”
Colin just looks bewildered the entire time.

A career-high WW round, with almost all entries being classics.

Home Shopping: Ryan and Colin sell a used banana peel, a book with no pages, and an unflushable toilet

A new game, one that would bring forth the rise of Infomercial in the US series, as well as cementing the eventual Greatest Hits banter between Ryan and Colin

Clive, getting the third item from the audience: “An unflushable toilet? Then somebody came here by train, obviously.”

The game starts really well, with Ryan talking quickly and tripping over his words, before passing it to Colin…who says “that’s right”, and passes it back to Ryan. Classic.
Colin: “What’s the first thing we’re gonna sell?”
Ryan, passing back: “Well, probably that thing you’re holding in your hand, Bobby…”

Colin, selling the book with no pages, or “no words” as Ryan says: “You save so much time…there’s the title…you finish!”

Colin: “How much would you buy this for?”
Ryan: 85 pounds?”
Ryan: 50 pounds?”
Colin: “You’re crazy.”
Ryan: “134 pounds?”
Colin: “…yeah.”

Ryan, demonstrating how the banana peel leads to finding love: “Ow, I’ve fallen, I’ve fallen, lady, can you help me? Can you help me? [hums Here Comes the Bride] I DO!”

Ryan also uses the banana peel to do impressions, first Abraham Lincoln, then Bob Marley, then…he puts the banana as a thin mustache that may be referring to one of his few fixations.
Ryan: “Who am I now?”
Colin, knowing who it is: “…ABRAHAM LINCOLN!”

Ryan: “What is [the third object]?”
Colin: “Well, we have it all backed up-”
Colin then realizes the pun he just made accidentally and breaks a bit.

Ryan, selling the unflushable toilet: “I’m not one to brag, but sometimes I like to take a look at what I have.”

A surprisingly well-formed and silly debut for this game, with the banter starting off extra strong, and with both players doing something great.

Dead Bodies: Ryan and Rory are cowboys on the range. Greg enters later as an Indian girl. Colin moves them all.

Ah yes, to follow last episode’s masterful Dead Bodies round, we have another masterful Dead Bodies round

Colin’s first funny move is to get both men to do a botched high five. Then, he has Ryan do an ass-slapping motion to ‘giddy-up’, which gets him to crack. ALREADY.

Greg has the insanely creative death by falling totem pole for his character, which is great.

Colin also pulls in the silly point that both Rory and Ryan should just feebly yell ‘whoa’ as they stop the horses. It’s a very goofy detail. Also, he first says Rory’s going to go over and revive her, assesses the situation, then, as Rory, goes “actually, you’re closer, why don’t you get it?”

Colin eventually gets Greg and Rya super-close to each other, for a romantic moment, which is abrupt for both, hence both parties cracking up through this.
Colin, as Ryan: “Why don’t you come with me and my friend. We were just rounding up….the…cat-tle.”
Ryan: [breaks again]
Colin, as Greg: “Oh, that would be….oh….so….lovely…”

Eventually, when all three get back on the horses, Colin, as Rory, says: “look…why don’t we all have one big kiss?”
Rory, breaking:
Screen Shot 2018-05-16 at 11.37.21 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-05-16 at 11.37.37 PM.png

He shrugs and goes with it. The scene ends with Colin smushing all three faces together for a botched kiss.

A slight bit subtler than last Dead Bodies, but still hysterical, and still with some great moments.

Party Quirks: Greg hosts
Rory: Clive Anderson
Colin: constantly dying and being reincarnated
Ryan: gazelle being stalked by a lion

The moment that I love to point out is that while Greg’s starting the party and Ryan’s still back at the seats, he’s trying faces, trying to break out his trademark gazelle look. The audience even sees this and laughs a bit.

Rory’s Clive impression is pretty good, and Greg takes a few seconds before realizing, then shouting “GOOD GOD, YOU’RE CLIVE ANDERSON!”

Greg lets Colin in, saying “We just had Clive Anderson here, I am so sleepy…”

Then, as Colin keeps coming back as various animals.
Greg: “No fair coming as Clive Anderson’s date.”

And, of course, the iconic moment:
Screen Shot 2018-05-16 at 11.42.44 PM.png

I don’t think there’d be a Ryan PQ moment this great until the foal being born. I love this facial expression.

Heck, it doesn’t even subscribe to diminishing returns! Ryan does the ‘talk then stop and look’ thing 3 times and it keeps being hysterical every. SINGLE. TIME.

Clive, trying to end the game, to Greg: “He’s…a gazelle stalked by a lion, would you say?”
Greg, realizing: “…sure! HEY…”
And then he guesses the exact quirk Clive just told him to end the game.

A pretty fantastic through-and-through PQ game, with Greg being a great proctor and Ryan doing some amazing facial expressions.

Hoedown: Being a Tory Politician 

Something Rory would talk at length about on Mock the Week, perhaps?

Also, Clive is about to wrap up the episode…then throws all four for a loop by calling a Hoedown, just to make them feel safe for a moment. Ryan’s chuckling as he heads to the step. Greg even frolics down there.

Once the subject is announced, Ryan pulls a Rich Hall and just confusedly pulls his hands out before maddeningly dropping them down.
Clive: “Don’t look at me like that. Make it Republicans if you’re frightened…”

Rory does his Hoedown as John Major
“Nobody likes our party, they think we’re full of shit.
Divided over Europe, and most of us are split
We’re going off on Holiday, I do not really care.
The feel good factor’s coming soon, its name is Tony Blair!”
He ends with a breath, and a HA! A surprisingly admirable hoedown from the impressionist.

Colin begins his verse looking VERY, VERY perturbed.
He gets about 2.5 verses in, gives up, and faints. Rory, who’d never seen Colin ‘pull a Colin’ before, laughs at this. The other two are used to this. Greg, in character, does go over to feel his pulse, though.

Ryan ends his with “People in power will do anything on a dare
As a matter of fact that’s why Clive ripped out all his hair.”

A much better Hoedown than we’ve been getting lately, and some nice stuff from all around, even if Colin pulls a Colin.

The credit reading is a nice one, too: As good as Rory’s David Attenborough is, it’s Colin and Ryan who steal the show, showing up as various animals, including dinosaurs, before finally showing up with Greg as apes.

Overall: A much better show, even than E1, with all four doing a balanced amount of funny work, and with more than half of the games being exceptionally good. Rory fit in surprisingly well with this bunch, though his best moments were more solo efforts, though his Film Dub efforts were fantastic. Greg had a better show, feuding a bit more with Clive and taking more initiative. Ryan took a slight step back from last show, while Colin stayed exactly where he was, owning several games and being one of the more recognizable creative forces on the show. So many games worked tonight because everyone was game, and because Rory could allow himself to be on the same page as the other three, which is honestly rare for him.

Show Winner: Rory
Best Performer: Colin, for more masterful work with all three
Worst Performer: Rory, but ONLY BY DEFAULT. He still had a great show, but the other two had more great improv moments.
Best Game: Home Shopping. Any other day I’d go with Dead Bodies or Party Quirks…but something about Home Shopping was so wholly realized tonight, and with some strong banter from Ryan and Colin. Glad they finally rolled it out.
Worst Game: Sports Commentators: the opposite- barely realized at all.


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