Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S08E08, or Well, It’s Made Colin’s Evening..

Back to a standard WL lineup: Greg Proops and a jacket, Steve Frost and a hawaiian shirt, Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles. This is another episode that’s made up of material from a previous taping, in this case the fun but middling 8×01. Should be fun.

Clive’s intros are extra biting tonight, ending with Ryan and Colin shaking their heads and Greg doing a ‘WHAT??’ expression immediately afterwards.

Film & Theatre Styles: Ryan and Colin (sculptor and nude model)

Clive: “Slapstick SPOOF? You’ve run two things together there, haven’t you? Or is that just your nickname for me?…’slaphead spoof’ more like it…”

Audience member: “Fog”
Clive: “Pardon”
Audience member: “Fog”
Clive: “…I hope you said ‘The Fog’. You deliberately spoke in a very thick Irish brogue…to give us an option of censoring it out.”

Ryan: “DONE. IT’S YOU.”
Colin: “That looks nothing like me! I don’t have a giant hole in my-”
Ryan: [turns it around]
Colin: “…that’s amazing!”

Clive: “Slapstick”
Colin, examining the privates: “Shouldn’t this be…OOPS!”
He smirks, with the clay privates in his hand

Clive: “James Bond”
Ryan: “…d’you see the small penis I’ve carved. It’s also a lighter!”
And with that, he smokes the penis.
Colin: “I’m sorry, Mr. Bond, but this is a no-smoking studio.”
Ryan: “It’s not really a cigarette, it’s actually a small penis.”

Clive: “Star Trek”
Colin, in a great Shatner impression: “…Why don’t you HAVE a BIGGER PENIS?”
Greg loses it at that one

Ryan beams over to Colin, explaining that this is how he got the sculpture so accurate
Colin: “DAMN YOU SPOCK! When I commissioned you to make this, I WANTED a BIGGER PENIS!”
[Steve and Greg are now BOTH losing it at Colin’s Shatner]
Ryan: “You don’t have to yell, Captain. Look at the size of my ears.”

For ‘The Fog’, instead of taking from the John Carpenter film, Ryan and Colin instead just have the scene be very foggy. The scene ends with Ryan trying to finish sculpting Colin’s eyes, and accidentally putting the sculpting tool into Colin’s eyes.

A very sharp, and very fun, F&TS, bringing back memories of the older, sharper rounds.

Film and Theatre Styles v2: Greg and Steve (two people sharing a prison cell)

Someone shouts out ‘Hawaii Five-0’, which Steve chuckles at.

Steve: “Stay off my bunk, alright?”
Greg: “…I could swim in your eyes…”
And already we have the stakes and characters completely set up. Perfect.

I do love the first bit of this scene, pre-styles. Greg and Steve’s characters are fantastic, and there’s some legitimately good acting going on.
Clive, post buzz: “…what a strange prison you must have been in…”

Steve’s Shakespeare is great, and stays in iambic pentameter for the most part, without stopping for a breath.
Greg, in response: “Indeed. Thine mouth waggles like a duck’s butt sliding down an icy hill backwards.”

The funniest part of this is Greg continuing to monologue in Shakespeare while Steve gets closer and closer to him. Greg turns around, sees Steve within inches of him, and his voice breaks while still going about the Shakespearean dialogue.

The buzz hits when Greg and Steve are within inches of each other, as a missed opportunity for a kiss has passed. Under applause, Greg whispers to Steve “I would have been into it”, which Steve chuckles at.
Greg, still under applause: “Soon, my darling”
Clive: “…well, now we know why we don’t do Shakespeare very often, then…”

Clive: “Wallace and Gromit”
Steve, grabbing the hash from earlier: “…mmm! Wensleydale!”
The first of many times Steve would OWN this style.

Then, Greg, as Gromit, motions that he wants some of it.
Steve, still doing a PERFECT Wallace: “…YOU don’t want THAT? That’s BAD for you, that, eh? If I give ya that, WHO KNOWS WHAT’LL HAPPEN?”

Clive: “A romantic love story”
Greg and Steve both give each other a look out-of-character, a “weren’t we just there?” look, which cracks Steve up.

Greg: “Why, there’s been times when we’ve been trapped in this cell together where I could hardly think about anything else but boiling your shorts and drinking the broth…”
AND WITH THAT, CLIVE ENDS THE GAME

Better than the Colin-Ryan one, because of the dynamic between the two, as well as the fluidity of the initial scene. Just a really, really good, well-improvised F&TS.

Sound Effects: Colin has a passionate date at a drive-in burger bar. Ryan does SFX

Lots of little things work in this one: the faucet turning on spontaneously, the car-starting noise just being Ryan saying “YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE”, and the visual of Colin punting a dog…and it taking 2 seconds for Ryan to do a landing noise.

The climax of the game is also great: Colin feels up his date, which leads to the date repeatedly punching Colin in the face.

A fun, if minimalistic, SFX.

Mission Impossible: Greg gives Steve, Ryan and Colin a mission to dress themselves

THIS must have been the first playing of this. The 3-person missions point to earlier on in the series, as this game would eventually find its footing in S9.

Clive intros the game, saying the voice on the tape “will be provided by the ever-talented…no, it’s Greg Proops. Sorry”
They don’t show Greg’s reaction, but Clive does shoot a ‘beat that’ expression his way.

Greg: “Good morning, team.”
Agents: “Good morning.”
Greg: Good morning.”
Agents: “morning”
Greg: “…hi, how you doing?”
Agents: [indecipherable chatter]
Steve: “I’ve got this thing in my neck actually but that’s because I slept badly.”
Greg: “…Steve, how’s your neck?”
HA

Greg: “This tape will self-destruct in 3 or 4 days, so…use royal mail to ensure that it goes nowhere.”

Colin already seems a bit out of his league, as Steve’s being very over the top and Ryan’s doing his usual stuff. It doesn’t leave anything for him to do, so he goes “I’m gonna go…think about things.”

Ryan, as the camera’s still on Steve: “…I’M STUCK ON A HANGER!”

Ryan also realizes this game is too crowded: “I found some lederhosen. I’ll just dress up like a cheap German hooker and keep a watch out for anything.”
And with that, he goes upstage and mimes smoking. As Colin tries to reclaim attention, the audience laughs at Ryan smoking.

It ends well enough, and there are definitely laughs, but this game was extremely frenzied, without a solid, fluid threadline, and with several instances of performers shouting to stay heard, especially over Steve’s over-the-top performance. The three-person layout would be a bit better next episode though.

Home Shopping: Ryan and Colin sell yesterday’s newspaper, a cup with a hole in it, and John Major

Ryan: “Hi, I’m Derek Montgomery.”
Colin: “And I’m…Bill.”

There is something about the delivery of Ryan’s ‘it’s TIME…to shop’ that kills me here, similar to Niall’s “and I’m Greg PROOOOOPS”. Immediately after, the audience laughs…then Colin turns to him, amused. And Ryan cracks a bit, not knowing why he went that route.

This game’s biggest strength is the Ryan-Colin back and forth, as they’re so quick on each other’s toes that it makes it seem rehearsed. Especially when Ryan’s demonstrating how to use the cup with a hole in it as a hearing aid.

Ryan: “You know, I can barely even remember what I did yesterday.”
Colin: “…well…that really has nothing to do with this.”
Ryan, cup to ear, for the umpteenth time: “I’m sorry?”
Colin: “SHUT UP!”
Ryan: “Okay!”

Ryan: “Who would fall something for that- WHO WOULD FALL for something like that? [smirk] WHO WOULD FALL FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?”
Colin: “…I can guess of one person right off.”
Ryan: “Who?”
And all Colin needs to do is give Ryan a look, and a nod. It’s perfect.

Colin, on a use for John Major: “You know…sometimes you just can’t keep that door propped open.”
BUZZ

Not as good as the first round of this, mainly for an overuse of the ‘pardon?’ gag, and the abrupt ending, but still very funny, and with great banter.

Film Dub: Ryan, Steve and Greg move a desk

Ryan: “…it’s because I look like Desi Arnaz, isn’t it?”
Greg: “No, it’s because you have the best hair out of the three of us.”
Ryan: “…I’m the only one who’s GOT hair of the three of us…”

Steve, after 30 seconds go by without his character talking: “I haven’t got much to say in this sketch, do I? Not at all!”

Ryan: “I’m getting out of here, and I’m taking this hat. It’s not even mine yet I’m taking it.”

Not a great film dub, but had some good lines here and there.

Party Quirks: Greg hosts
Steve: good cop/bad cop
Colin: in a hemorrhoids ad
Ryan: Hollywood agent at a party

Steve: “Hey, nice food you got here- STUFF THE FOOD, TALK.”
Greg this one easily, and leaps into the air, while Steve cheers him on. The Steve-Greg dynamic is saving this episode.

Ryan has a great tactic- when Greg goes to let him in, he’s already on the phone with a client, so he motions for Greg to shut it again.

Then, Ryan, after looking around, takes a sniff of coke and offers it to Greg. That, without being too broad, is great.

Greg finally gets Colin’s, and delightfully heads back. This wasn’t an all-out funny one, but it was definitely a great one to watch, especially with Greg’s zeal with guessing.

Moving People: Colin and Ryan have a spy ski chase

Clive, to Colin’s mover: “Put Colin where you’d like him.”
Screen Shot 2018-05-30 at 9.42.00 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-05-30 at 9.42.11 PM.png

Clive: “…well, it’s made Colin’s evening, anyway…”

Clive: “The scene is, it’s a spy ski chase”
Colin: Screen Shot 2018-05-30 at 9.43.33 PM.png

Ryan: “…how did I get this ski up my ass??”

Colin, to Daniela the audience member: “I’m sorry darling, but I’m going to have to leave you now and chase him.”

Ryan: “Oh, Colin, so nice to see you again.”
[Ryan’s mover neglects to move his head, but moves him closer to Colin]
Ryan: “…if that is, in fact, you…”

Ryan’s mover places his hand on Colin’s ass.
Ryan: “HEYYYY…you’ve been working on buns of steel, haven’t ya?”

Colin: “You’re a double agent, aren’t you?”
Ryan: “…how did you know?”
Colin, pointing at Ryan’s chest: “…well, you have a t-shirt that says ‘I’m a double agent’ on it…”
Ryan: “That’s right, I did.”
Colin’s mover moves his pointing hand toward Ryan’s lower half
Colin: “…AND THERE’S YOUR PENIS.”

Colin attempts to get the scene suggestion into play by suggesting that Ryan “NOT” grab those skis and go down the hill, so Ryan says he’s going to. His mover…does nothing.
Ryan: “….HERE I GO….”
Colin: “Well, I’m gonna put my skis on right now.”
Ryan, justifying why he hasn’t moved: “…MY GOD, I’M CAUGHT ON THE LIFT!”

Colin, still trying to help the audience members: “I’m gonna go chase you…it’d be much easier if you were in front of me…”

From here on out, as Ryan and Colin realize that a high speed chase is out of the question with these two, they proceed to riff on where they’re being moved:
Screen Shot 2018-05-30 at 9.51.10 PM.png
Ryan: “HERE I GO”
Colin: “GET YOUR POLE OUT OF MY BACK”

Screen Shot 2018-05-30 at 9.51.49 PM.pngRyan: “…I feel like singin’ a big broadway tune for some reason!”

Ryan: “…I’ll just ice-skate to the bottom, I suppose…”

Screen Shot 2018-05-30 at 9.52.36 PM.pngColin: “I’ve almost caught you, Jackson!”
Ryan: “WHO CARES, I’M GIVING MYSELF ORAL SEX!”
BUZZZZZ

A hysterical, well-paced Moving People game, made great by some bad audience participants.

Overall: On the same level as E1, though with a great start and hysterical ending. You can tell a lot of games here were trial runs, like Home Shopping and Mission Impossible, while other games just didn’t work as well as usual tonight. However, both rounds of F&TS were incredible, and Moving People was too funny to be ignored. While this wasn’t a complete failure, it was still enough of a success to separate itself from E1. Steve made a few gaffes in Mission Impossible that detracted from his usual work, but Greg had a fun night, and Colin and Ryan went back to their usual dominance.

Show Winners: Steve and Greg
Best Performer: Colin, for having the funniest lines and the most genius improv moments.
Worst Performer: Steve, for not being on his best foot in the games shown tonight, F&TS notwithstanding.
Best Game: Film and Theatre Styles v2. I nearly gave it to Moving People, but there was something about the Greg-Steve dynamic that was electric in this game, and felt really, really nice.
Worst Game: Film Dub. Annnd we’re back to a disappointing Film Dub streak. At least we get a good one next show. And a better show, in that matter.

 

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