Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S08E12, or First, Let me Conserve My Strength!

The last non-compilation episode of Series 8, this one is essentially the scraps of Episode 3, itself already a pretty great one. However, since Episode 6 has ended, we’ve been in a very mediocre rut in this series…perhaps due to the absence of Caroline Quentin, who’s here tonight alongside Josie Lawrence for her last full appearance. I really wish Caroline hadn’t have left so soon, as she was quickly becoming one of the standout female talents of the show.

Questions Only: in a lingerie shop

Ryan’s cracking up as he heads to the step. I don’t know why. I don’t think he does.

Colin: “would you like something sexy?”
Caroline: “…would I like you to show me something sexy?”
Colin: “…d’you want me to put it on?”
Oh, Colin. This is why he’s been ruling this series.
and Caroline: “wouldn’t anybody?”

Ryan: “D’you think I’d look good in this?”
Colin: “Would you like it in an extra large?”
Ryan: “d’you think I have the legs for it?”
Colin takes a moment to embrace that visual, cracks, and exits

Josie: “What size is [your wife?]
Ryan: “Doooes 36 sound too big?”
Josie: “…THAT’S A SIZE???”
Good to see she’s improved at this game. Of course, right after this, she hesitates and is buzzed out.

Ryan, as Colin reenters, does the whole ‘back again’ thing, which Colin’s confused by
Ryan: “Weren’t you just in here 10 minutes ago?”
Colin, pinpointing it: “Don’t you know my brother?”

After a few digressions, Colin reenters as Caroline’s onstage
Caroline, harkening back to the top of the game: “Why did you ever leave me?”
Colin, crossing like he’s in a Soap Opera: “…can’t you see that our love can never be?”
Caroline: “…AAH!”
BUZZ
Ryan, entering: “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Colin: “…can’t you see our love can never be?”
Ryan: “You’re in love with me?”
Colin: “Isn’t it obvious?”
Ryan: “…pffff.”
BUZZ

Caroline, entering with Colin for the third time: “WHY ARE YOU TWO-TIMING ME?”
Colin, completely fried: “…….”
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

A shockingly well-formed Questions Only game with some great continuity throughout, even though Josie got lost easily (as she does)

Film & Theatre Styles: Ryan and Colin (on an air-sea rescue mission)

Audience member: “FREE WILLY!”
Clive, being Clive: “I’M SORRY? I’ll just adjust myself before we carry on…”
Caroline, in the background, checks her watch, not believing this crap
Clive: “heh…FREE WILLY…”
Caroline: “have we time?”

Colin and Ryan begin the scene by jumpstarting a catchphrase they’d use frequently in another game:
Ryan: “Look, this may be a mission that one of us doesn’t come back from, Brad…”
Colin: “…I hope it’s you.”

Ryan: “I didn’t want to tell you this, but one of those people on that yacht that sank? Your wife.”
Colin: “My god. I, uh, guess we should save her anyway.”
AND WE’RE OFF. Just already, pre-styles, these two are already in peak form

Ryan and Colin doing Tom and Jerry slapstick is hella amusing, as their little facial expressions already match the two characters perfectly.

Free Willy:
Ryan: “What’s that down below us?”
Colin: “It’s my wife, on Willy.”
Ryan: “I’ll lower myself down onto the…wife AND Willy…and grab the Willy wife!”

Clive: “Biblical epic!”
Ryan, as this surprisingly fits: “…I’M INSIDE THE WHALE! AND LO, I SEE A SMALL BOY MADE OF WOOD.”
At this point, Colin, out of character, gives him a look for this reference, but Ryan exchanges this with a look that says ‘no, stick with me, I’ve got this’.
Colin: “LO, HIS COMING HAS BEEN TOLD?”
Ryan, barely in character: “…REALLY?”

Film Noir, Ryan presents the wife’s dead body, then starts smoking. Beautiful.
Colin: “I couldn’t help but notice the knife sticking out of her back.”
Ryan: “…that was one mean whale.”

Clive buzzes in: “Horror.”
Ryan has a brief 2 seconds where he figures out exactly what he’s going to do, as he knows the scene should have ended on that last line. So he decides to bomb the scene.
Ryan, interpreting the suggestion: “She was nothing but a cheap tramp! She’d sleep with he….[to Clive] HORROR? Oh.”
The audience IMMEDIATELY GETS THIS, AND GIVES HIM A HUGE REACTION. Clive has no choice but to end the scene.

A very complex, well-thought out, and very funny F&TS, even if it was a bit dry in the middle.

Foreign Film Dub – Josie and Caroline act out the Russian film “Godzilla Eats the Dust;” Ryan and Colin translate.

There hasn’t been a great run of this game lately, so hopefully they’ll change that here

Noting the title, Colin’s first line is “is it me, or is it really dusty in here?”
Caroline already cracks a smile at this

Ryan is taking the Steve Frost strategy of just taking a long sentence from someone and translating it as something simple. Josie has a strong declaration that, according to Ryan, means “…isn’t that Jerry?”
Caroline: [long, emotional sentence burrowing into Josie’s arms]
Colin: “…I think it is!”

Josie, in the entrance of the large lizard, takes out a gun and does a ‘POOF-A-POOF!” noise
Ryan: “Stand back, I will light this cigarette and have a puff, puff.”

Josie then clutches her back, and mutters something under her breath
Ryan, being Ryan: “…my god, the baby is coming!”

This one goes off the rails kind of quickly, but Josie and Caroline do throw in a ‘NICOLE!’ ‘PAPA!’ reference to cap it off.

Props: Ryan and Caroline vs. Josie and Colin

Ryan: “Congratulations, you’re the mother of a bouncing baby boy!”
[Ryan bounces the prop]

Screen Shot 2018-06-29 at 11.57.12 PM.pngColin: “DON’T PANIC, WE’LL GET YOU OUT OF THE QUICKSAND!”

Screen Shot 2018-06-29 at 11.57.57 PM.png

Ryan: “Not only is this chicken done, but I think it’s a communist!”

Caroline swings the prop around to her backside, and can’t even keep herself composed, saying “…I’ve got murder with these piles…”

Screen Shot 2018-06-29 at 11.59.12 PM.pngColin: “Yeah, right, we SHOULDN’T pee in the cold.”

A much better, and much more original, Props round than we’ve been getting.

Sound Effects: Colin is a surgeon doing an operation; Ryan provides sound effects.

Literally the first moment of the scene is Colin stepping in something. Unbelievable.

There’s also a great moment where Colin turns on the faucet…then forgets to turn it off. Once he does, Ryan keeps turning it on again.

Ryan does his usual ‘wrong scalpel end’ joke with Colin, though it works here because it’s just done in Sound Effects

Very, very odd round- it’s awfully morbid, and it ends with Colin pulling a still-alive cat out of the body, which is…very weird. The game still works pretty well, though

Press Conference: Josie, Colin, and Ryan interview Caroline, who has given birth to an alien.

Ryan: “How long did this whole process take?”
Caroline: Seven hours.”

Colin asks if there were any unusual tools being used
Caroline: “Well, you say unusual, for me they were the only thing TO use. Uh, a thimble. Um…a stepladder-”
The audience LOSES IT over this one

Ryan, with the giveaway: “Did it come out easy, or was it a Klingon?”

Caroline guesses it after one extra Josie question, and she does a really nice job of carrying the game, but overall this one was kind of thin.

Dead Bodies – Ryan and Josie play a couple on the first night of their honeymoon; Caroline is an ex-lover confronting them; Colin moves them.

One thing I have noticed here: there were playings of this game during 8×01, 8×02 AND 8×03’s tapings. If they were, in fact, recorded in order, one might surmise that the health and safety people caught on, especially as this particular round is dubbed Fainting Bodies, and due to that they didn’t play it as much during the other 6 tapings.

Right as they walk up, Caroline and Ryan exchange a word or two, possibly about the game, which has them cracking up.

Colin gets the first laugh out of Ryan by running Josie’s hand up and down Ryan’s crotch area.  Then Colin has Ryan start rubbing his chest. The whole time he’s just got this grin frozen expression, trying not to react. Colin’s making inhuman howling noises and everything, and Ryan’s holding it together.

Colin, as Josie, her hair completely over her eyes: “…KISS ME YOU FOOL!”
Caroline, waiting on the side, just BURSTS INTO MANIACAL LAUGHTER.

Caroline enters, and without saying a word, faints to the floor. Possibly because the censors wanted it that way.
Colin, as Josie: ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
Colin, as Caroline: “I JUST THOUGHT I’D DROP IN!”
Caroline stifles a chuckle as Colin heads over to Ryan

For about 30 seconds, Colin does most of the work with Josie and Caroline slumped onto the floor. Then, he sits Caroline up and gets her to start whacking Ryan on the leg repeatedly. After which, he runs over to Ryan and has him give a belated, high pitched, “…OW, OW!”. Ryan cracks at this.

Colin, as Josie: “I WANT YOU OUT! I’LL REMOVE YOU BY BODILY FORCE IF I HAVE TO!”
Then, Colin attempts picking Josie up to stand, which doesn’t work entirely as well as he thought. He just ends up sitting her back down.
Colin, as Josie: “….FIRST LET ME CONSERVE MY STRENGTH.”

There’s an underrated moment where, after Colin controls Ryan in having him angrily berate Caroline and tell her to get out, he sits down on the vacant second stool, and takes a breather for 2 seconds, before moving back to Caroline. It’s a small moment, but it makes me laugh every time.

Colin, as Caroline: “BUT THERE’S ONE THING YOU SHOULD KNOW!”
Colin goes over, raises up Josie, whose hair is still askew, and sits her up, just to have her go “….yeah?”
Colin, back to Caroline, realizing the confusingness as he goes along: “HE WAS MAKING LOVE TO ME THROUGHOUT YOUR ENTIRE…WEDDING CEREMONY.”
Then, before anyone has time to get confused, he moves to Josie, on the floor still, and has her say ‘…WHAT?’. And then he moves to Ryan and he says the same thing, “WHAT?”

Colin, as Caroline [who’s trying to keep from laughing]: “You heard me! AND I’M CARRYING HIS CHILD!”
Colin, moving back to Ryan: “….OHHHHH NOOOOO!”
BUZZZZ

An absolute triumph. Possibly better than E1’s classic one. Colin had some of the goofiest moments here, complete with his 2 second mental lapse. Josie and Caroline had a ton of fun, and Ryan tried his damnedest to keep from laughing. So much was hysterical.

Greatest Hits: Ryan and Colin present Songs of the Bathroom; Josie sings

Clive: “It’s Hits of the Bathroom. That’s bathroom in the british sense, not in the American sense of…where you go and do what you do in the American sense…”
Ryan and Colin both give him a weird look
Clive: “…YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!”
Colin, muttering: “no, not really…”

Josie’s ‘Use the towel marked His’ song is…well, it’s a classic. She nails the rock opera style, and she has some really great lyrics, keeping in mind the more lowbrow conceptions of the theme. She knocks it out of the park there.

Ryan: “That really takes me back to my childhood.”
Colin: “It certainly does…take me back to your childhood.”

Josie, with the 50s number, keeps the incredibly happy, loving tone of the song and juxtaposes the dirtier lyrics, i.e. “you went into every little crack, didn’t you John?” Still a pretty nice one, as she’s been energetic as hell this game.

Ryan’s title for the protest song, “I’m so small cause you used all the hot water”, cracks up the audience AND Josie.

Josie, smartly, turns it into a Peter Paul and Mary anthem: “Where has all the hot water gone…”

Josie’s number is very sweet, and very well handled, but Clive, for some reason, is laughing throughout the entire thing.

A pretty solid round of this, even if the focus was less on the Colin-Ryan banter and more on the Josie songs, which is great because that was the point of this game during this era.

Overall: Just as good as its original episode, as all four contributed some nice stuff, and there were some truly funny games abound, especially Questions Only, Film and Theatre Styles and Dead Bodies. Unlike E3, which was more balanced, this episode was clearly more built around Ryan and Colin, as they were in every game tonight, and had more showcase rounds than Josie and Caroline did. Which isn’t a bad thing, as Ryan and Colin were both very funny tonight. They weren’t necessarily overexposed, but I would have liked to see a bit more Josie and Caroline, especially considering that Caroline was carrying games like a champ tonight, even if Josie is still adjusting to the newer games and brand of comedy that Ryan and Colin were marketing (literally). A nice enough episode, even if it was a bit flawed.

Show Winners: Josie and Caroline
Best Performer: Ryan Stiles, with a slight edge over Colin for doing a bit more lifting in games where he wasn’t the center.
Worst Performer: Josie Lawrence, not that she was bad at all tonight, just that she had a few more moments of being human than the other three.
Best Game: Dead Bodies. By far.
Worst Game: Foreign Film Dub. Again, this game just did not work for me. I don’t know if it’s me or the game.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S08E11, or UNCLE BILL?

We’ve reached the ‘rehashing’ portion of this series, where now we feature two more episodes cobbled together from leftover material from a specific taping. This one would leaf from E2, the Rory Bremner show, which was a pretty nice one if memory serves, and featured the immortal ‘Look…why don’t we all just have one big kiss’ Dead Bodies.

So yeah, it’s Greg, Rory, Ryan and Colin, which means this should work pretty well, unless they truly are leftovers.

You can already tell that Clive’s intros are a bit rushed, as if he’s had to do them again WAY AFTER THE TAPING HAS FINISHED. He just seems out of it. Also evident: when he announces Greg, pre-joke, Greg is already doing this:
Screen Shot 2018-06-25 at 6.17.31 PM.png
It doesn’t feel like he’s just easing into his comic sensibilities- it feels like this is the tail end of them, and he’s very tired after a long taping and wants to go home and not do anymore bloody pickups.

Ryan too is hunched over, giving Clive a look, and just wanting to go home. So, interesting that we’re literally starting with the end tonight, unless I’m very mistaken and this ISN’T, in fact, a pickup.

Questions Only: Right before a prison breakout

Yeah, and when they cut back to Clive, pre-game, he looks rejuvenated, and the top-of-the-taping energy seems to returned, so my theory that the intro was a late-taping pickup still stands.

Clive, after describing the game: “Sounds easy to do, but  often it goes wrong-”
Greg starts cackling at this

Ryan: “Have you finished the tunnel?”
Colin: “…THE ONE THAT GOES UNDER THE WALL?”
Ryan: “Weren’t you in charge???”
Colin, very weakly: “…no…”
BUZZ

After Rory fails to ask a question, Colin returns
Ryan: “Where the hell have you been?”
Colin: “How’d you know it was me in my disguise?”
Ryan, forgetting which game this is: “NIIIICE MASK!”
BUZZ

I do love how coherent of a scene this ends up being, where Colin, as the warden, asks if he can join into the breakout
Greg: “Can we stay at your summer home?”
Colin: “…the one in Miami?”
Somehow, Clive buzzes this one out, but it’s such a great comedy detail. Because OF COURSE a prison warden would just have a summer home in Miami.

After Rory stumps Greg with a good one, Ryan comes back out: “…who’s your favorite guard dog?”
Rory:
Screen Shot 2018-06-25 at 6.26.14 PM.png
BUZZZZZ

An improvement on most of the more recent Questions Only games, solely because this one tries to bridge a coherent story, with real recurring characters and relationships, and it just so happens to be a Questions Only game.

Film & Theatre Styles: Greg and Ryan (two high-tech scientists on the rim of a volcano)

…but wouldn’t it be cool to see the Colin & Rory game? Battle of the Scotsmen who do voices?

A very gruff man behind Clive: “Tourist Infuhmation Video!”
Clive, doing an impression of him: “…Tourist INFUHMATION VIDEO.’ You do the voice for it, don’t you? I think it’s Kent you do, right?”

Ryan, being himself: “…that’s one big hole.”
Greg: “Hang on, let me check my high-tech device- NINININININI- you’re right, it’s huge!”

Then Ryan uses one of HIS high-tech devices.
Greg: “I didn’t know you brought the-”
Ryan: [uses the device to light a cigarette]
Greg: “….the cigarette-o-tron?”

Tourist Information Video:
Ryan: “And if you can’t afford to be here, why not visit the lovely town of Bath?”

The Dracula style is great- Greg is doing a goofy Peter Lorre-esque accent, and lunging at Ryan’s neck whenever he looks away from him. It’s just silly enough, AND IT KEEPS THE PLOT GOING

The FUNNIEST PART is that Greg can’t reach Ryan’s neck, because Ryan is 6’6, so by the time Clive buzzes, Greg is LITERALLY HOPPING to reach Ryan’s neck.

Clive: “Woody Allen”
Greg, as Woody, right to the camera: “Perfect…stuck on a Volcano with a fetishist.”
PERFECT

Airline Safety Video
Ryan, to Greg: “I just want you to know, that…if this thing blows…and we don’t make it out of here…there’s two exits at the front, and rear…”

Clive: “…but, perversely. Colin wins that one and he wasn’t even in it.”
Colin looks shocked, and Ryan nonchalantly pats him on the back

This was a pretty nice F&TS game, one of the more subtle ones we’ve had since S2 or S3. And yes, it helps that Ryan and Greg are great scene partners.

News Report: The Princess and the Frog: Greg and Colin in the studio, Rory and Ryan in the field.

Oh, how I missed this game. I know it’s gonna be phased out soon in favor of Daytime Talk Show, but…there’s just something so hysterical about this game whenever they play it.

This week’s ‘What are they doing when the music kicks in?”: Greg is seductively kissing Colin’s fingers, until Colin, with his elbow, nudges Greg.

Greg: “Good evening, I’m Salty Basket”
Colin: “…And I’m Hoss Cartwright”
Greg, smirking: “No relation…”
Clive is laughing at this through Greg’s next line of dialogue

Greg: “The princess found a frog, she went to kiss it, and then something happened? Hoss?”
Colin, going literally: “…That’s right, a very long tongue went down her throat!”

Greg is nice enough to prompt Rory to do his Des Lynam impression, which, of course, is one of Rory’s strengths, leading him to take the reins of the field interview with frog breeder Ryan.

Ryan: “This is an especially interesting frog, usually when a princess kisses a frog, it turns into a prince. This one turned into The Frog Formerly Known as Prince.”
HA. Old joke, but Ryan sells it. He’s turning, smirking to Greg and Colin, as if to say ‘see if you can top that’

There’s a lot of smaller jokes here and there: Colin mentions that said princess had to try a lot of different animals, having the most trouble with a hedgehog; Rory asking Ryan, the princess, if he can call her Diana; Ryan saying he tried a lot of other frogs, but “they all croaked”.

Colin does save the scene before it ends, as while Greg tries to wrap up, Colin exclaims “My thing’s gone right into my ear! RIGHT IN! Like, I can’t get it out!”

Noticeably weaker in comparison to other News Reports (like the Little Bo Peep one, and the Three Little Pigs one, and ESPECIALLY the delightfully raunchy Adam and Eve one), but still pretty good, especially considering that everyone had something fun to do, and had a good line here or there, even if this, as usual, was Greg’s game to proctor.

Picture: All four 

Screen Shot 2018-06-25 at 8.07.59 PM.png

Ryan: “Heyyyy, who’s the boy in the leather pants? I don’t believe we’ve met?”
Rory: “Is that your dog? I had 5 fingers when I came in here…”

Ryan: “Say, you’re not German, are ya?”
Rory: “…what’s it to you?”
Ryan: “….well, if not, I’d say those leather pants are awful weird…”

[Halfway through the scene and Colin hasn’t said a line yet]

FINALLY:
Colin: “I’ll take it, we just came in for the siamese twin special…”

Ryan [to Greg]: “And tell those people behind ya to stop staring…”
Colin: “WE’RE NOT FREAKS!”

Rory challenges everyone to arm-wrestling, “my side of the table!”
Greg: “….alright, I’ll be right over…..but first, let me serve this drink!”

A bit ho-hum after a while, but definitely had its moments.

Stand Sit Bend: Ryan, Colin, and Greg are in a Wild West saloon.

Ryan begins the scene by playing the piano. Greg, leaning, jumps around happily.

Ryan sets the first domino off by getting up, and Colin and Greg have to fight to see who gets the chair. Colin wins, and Greg takes a few seconds to realize he should be leaning.

Colin, after Ryan asks who he is: “I’M…Black Bob Boomby”
Greg, kneeling and pointing: “That’s right, he is!”

Greg, rising: “I DON’T THINK YOU’RE SO TOUGH!”
Ryan, sitting back down and playing piano: “DING-DING-DING-YOU-AIN’T-SO-TOUGH-”
Colin: “SHUT UP!”
Rory, in the background, loses it

Then, Colin sits down…while Ryan’s also sitting down. Here, I can only describe what happens next as a melee, as all three literally start hedging up and down like a game of whack-a-mole in an effort to fulfill the scene title. Eventually Ryan takes a lean as Greg stands up to Colin, barely keeping composure.

Ryan, in an effort to screw the other two over, starts leaning and standing all over, yelling “HEY, THERE’S GONNA BE A GUNFIGHT”

Then, as Colin makes Ryan sit down, he returns to his piano, going “GONNA-BE-A-GUNFIGHT-DING-DING-DING”
Colin: “…you’re probably in a bad place for a gunfight”

As Greg and Colin face off, and Ryan leans in the background, he stands and goes “Wait…I can’t let this continue.”
Then…everyone realizes that nobody’s sitting down. And they all scramble. Ryan makes his way back to the piano, going “Matter of fact, why can’t I sing ya a little song? I CAN’T LET THIS CONTINUE, DING-DA-DING DING…”

The game does go on for a beat more than it should, but the extra beat does allow for a few more moments where Greg and Colin fight for a position.

One of the best rounds of this we’ve had in a while, with so many funny back-and-forth moments between the three, which was welcome on a show like this.

Props: Ryan and Colin vs. Rory and Greg

There’s not a hell of a lot here, but there’s one good runner: Rory and Greg have two flying saucers land next to each other, then Greg comes up as an alien with the two props as his eyes. After Clive buzzes over, you can here him go “perhaps you’ve seen my craft!”

Ryan and Colin had the better ideas: Rory barely had any himself, and he mostly just laughed at Greg’s suggestions

Newsflash: Ryan and Colin in the studio, Greg in the field in front of penguins in the arctic

There’s a very awkward cut to Greg right as Ryan introduces himself, and they stay with Greg even as Colin and Ryan finish their intro

This is, admittedly, a very early version of this game, and Greg was the wrong choice, as he plays his befuddled reporter role a bit too broad, without giving the others time to give him hints.

Greg does guess it correctly, but this is still a very inefficient round of this game.

 

Superheroes: Shortage of Paint
Greg: Impotence Boy
Ryan: Huge Gesture Boy
Colin: Cramp Boy
Rory: Scottish Weatherman

The audience gets a nice reaction out of the ‘Impotence Boy’ suggestion.
Clive: “It’s strange, as we actually have a close friend of Greg’s in tonight, to…”
Greg is unamused by this, but eventually plays along, squinting to see who made that suggestion
Greg, finally: “…UNCLE BILL?”

Clive, getting the crisis: “Shortage of Paint? YOU’RE STRANGE…”

Greg: “Oh my goodness, there’s a shortage of paint, I….oh no…thought I almost achieved one…”
Annnnd already the audience is back on his side

Ryan: “I’m sorry I’m late, I didn’t think I’d be able to come…well, you must know all about that…”
Greg, as the audience laughs at this for 5 seconds, removes his glasses
Greg: “…you know, they say talking about it helps, but it hasn’t so far…”

Colin, of all people, hammers the runner home: “Sorry I’m late, I was just having sex constantly [stops, looks at Greg] SORRY…”

Rory makes the mistake of coming onstage with glasses, and an accent. Colin has no choice but to play directly into his hand
Colin: “Thank God you’re here….Scottish…weatherman…”

Rory says that the forecast brings a lot of blue…which Ryan hammers home as ‘ALL THE PAINT’S BACK’. It’s a very weak solution, but it’s fine seeing as Rory’s not used to this game.

Greg, after everyone’s gone: “I hope they come again, I know I can’t!”
BUZZZZZ

A damn-near classic round, marred only by Rory’s inexperience. The Ryan-Colin-Greg stuff was unbelievable, especially in response to his superhero name.

Animals: Greg and Colin are at home, Ryan comes in later. All three are cats.

The main thing about this game is that the physicality is definitely there. All three definitely have the cat motions down pat.

Greg is the one to eventually take the obvious line “that’s why you get so much pussy”

Not a lot to this one, other than the twist ending where Colin’s really a dog.

Hats: Dating Service Videos

Screen Shot 2018-06-25 at 9.38.09 PM.pngGreg: “Hi, Honey! D’you-”
Greg didn’t expect the audience to laugh at this part, so he just patiently waits for the laughter to die down before getting to his actual punchline:
Greg: “…do you enjoy long walks in the garden followed by a frenzied run into the house?”

Screen Shot 2018-06-25 at 9.40.40 PM.pngColin: “You know…being a pimp, it’s very hard to meet girls…”

Greg stays up for a long time with a fuzzy piece over his crotch, saying “I’m very sensitive, I like to cuddle…I don’t like the rain much”
Clive: “It’s as if Chris Evans were in the room…”

Overall: This show had some definite highs, and a nice amount of fun games, but there were also several moments where the show didn’t feel fully realized, and some elements were pulling them backwards, especially in games like Newsflash, Animals and Props. I’d like to give this one a higher rating, especially for games like Questions Only, Superheroes, and ESPECIALLY Stand Sit Bend, but the general momentum, and some of Rory’s inconsistency, weigh this one down a bit. Good news is Greg Proops was in a fantastic mood tonight, carrying most of the games; Ryan also had more on moments than usual for this series, and Colin, while quieter, had a good enough show. It’s just Rory’s non-improv background that holds him back in a lot of ways on this show.

Show Winners: Ryan and Greg
Best Performer: Greg, for carrying games with gusto and ease
Worst Performer: Rory, for still showing some learning curve after 8 years on the program
Best Game: Stand Sit Lie, for being so quick and funny from all three
Worst Game: Props was just really weak tonight

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S08E10, or IT SMELLS LIKE BERNARD!

After a hiatus, here’s the last episode of S8 in regulation, before repeat tapings and compilations. Here, we have the combination of Steve Frost and Josie Lawrence, sure to be a nice one, alongside Colin and Ryan.

Questions Only: Red Alert on a Space Station

Ryan has a great faux pas to start the game. He goes over to his usual right-side step, only to realize that they want him on the other step, so he makes a big stride in the other direction, just as Steve is heading to that step. They meet in the middle, and attempt to get around each other.

Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 4.36.40 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-06-21 at 4.36.50 PM.png
Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 4.37.17 PM.png

Ryan and Steve are still laughing as the scene gets underway

Josie, cutting off Clive still explaining: “WAS THAT THE RED ALERT -oh, sorry…”
Clive: “No, you’ve beaten ME out there…”

Ryan: “What’s with the green thing coming out of your chest?”
Colin: “Didn’t you get one?”
Ryan: “They were handing them out?”
Colin: [leaves]

Steve, pointing towards Ryan’s crotch area: “Is that a cling-on?”
[HA!]
Ryan: “…you noticed?”

This is a bit more quickfire than usual, as Josie takes a bit to figure out how to keep saying questions past her second go-around.

Ryan: “D’you miss your wife?”
Colin: “…You’ve been seeing her, haven’t you?”
Ryan: “D’you smell her cologne?”
Colin: “…was that cologne?”
Ryan: “…was it YOU?”
Colin, once again out-sillied by Ryan, leaves

Again, I feel like this round was very haphazard and not together whenever Colin and Ryan weren’t together onstage. Josie and Steve were very silly and not great at keeping the scene going, but Ryan and Colin’s scenes together were great.

Film and Theatre Styles: Josie and Ryan (telling the boyfriend that she’s pregnant)

Josie: “Been to the shops today, darling…I bought a shirt, for you, you need a new one…”
Cut to Ryan, wearing a light plaid shirt, stifling a reaction

Josie shows Ryan the little baby booties she bought. Ryan, thinking they’re for him, attempts to try them on.

Clive: “The Muppets”
Ryan, in a perfect Kermit voice: “Pink?”
Josie, doing a just as good Miss Piggy: “YES! YES! I’M GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE PIGGY-FROGGY BABY!”
Ryan: “…you mean something’s gonna come out of THERE?”

James Bond:
Ryan: “…apparently that pen could do more things than write…”

The James Bond style is pretty good, nailing the tone of the films, and the double entendres. Josie polishes it off my saying “you’re going to have a 0-0-3 and a half.”
Ryan: “…I’m shaken, but not stirred!”

Clive: “1950s Health….well…”
Josie: “HOW DID WE HAVE THIS BABY IN THE FIRST PLACE? Ryan?”
Ryan, caught off guard: “well…FIRST…I became…AROUSED.”
The audience is eating this whole part up

Then, as Ryan explains everything, Josie does little demonstrations with her hands, which the audience also loves. As Ryan explains foreplay, Josie holds up a finger and sticks out her tongue, leading Clive to mercy-kill the game.

Still a great F&TS game, as expected from these two. I do think it’s their last one together (unless there’s one coming up in a comp or in late S9), but it proves how great their scene chemistry was.

Mission Impossible: Steve instructs Ryan and Colin to clean the toilet

Finally we get a simple 2-person Mission Impossible game, with the storied Ryan-Colin combo

Steve: “Gentlemen…welcome…”
Ryan and Colin: [brief murmur]
Steve: “…I can’t hear you.”
Ryan and Colin: [louder murmur]

Steve: “Should you choose to accept it, then…you should…do it.”
Colin: “Let’s fast-forward to the good part!”
Steve: “…repete…apre moi…”
Ryan: “No, no, go back…”
[The first of many iterations of this joke]

Steve: “But, gentlemen, there’s one small catch…[the toilet]’s just been used by Bernard Manning. So it’s very, very dangerous up there. SO GOOD LUCK. THIS TAPE WILL oh, it already has…”

You can tell that, like the burnoose, Ryan and Colin don’t really know who Bernard Manning is (and yet Ryan knows who Cilla Black is???).
Colin: “I’m gonna ring up Bernard Manning on the computer.”
Ryan: “…any idea?”
Colin, purposely taking the other route: “…yeah, he was there.”
Ryan smirks, still having no idea who Bernard Manning is.

Ryan: “i’m gonna rub myself down with cooking oil….just cause it feels good…”

There’s a great moment where Colin’s furiously climbing the stairs. Ryan, not wanting to put up with this, sighs, and uses the elevator as Colin keeps heading up the stairs.

Colin uses ‘suction pads’, and gets himself “OVER THE TOILET”, which gets a nice reaction out of Clive, who was probably expecting him to clean the ‘bathroom’ rather than just the toilet.

Ryan: “I’m over the toilet.”
Colin: “Good, get the brush?”
Ryan: “….brush?”
Colin: “YOU DIDN’T BRING THE BRUSH?”
Ryan: “I thought YOU were the brush guy…”
Colin: “Alright….we’re gonna have to use your head.”
[And here begins the tradition of Ryan and Colin screwing with each other in this game]

Ryan, before he has to stick his head in the toilet bowl, looks at Colin and cracks a bit.

Ryan, with his head in the bowl: “IT SMELLS LIKE BERNARD!”
[I don’t know why, but that line has always stuck with me]

Ryan, stuck: “QUICK! PUT THE JETPACK ON!”
Colin, flying around on the jetpack: “…ON YOU OR ME?”

The first of many incredibly funny games of Mission Impossible, made great by Steve’s silliness on the tape, the back-and-forth between Ryan and Colin, and the eventual use of outlandish gadgets that would eventually become a staple of the game (see “my fax is ruined!”). Fantastic showing from all 3

Props: Colin and Ryan vs. Josie and Steve

Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 5.07.06 PM.pngColin: “…boy, the house fell on a really big witch…”

Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 5.08.25 PM.pngRyan: “Ah, see? Don’t tell me there’s no Loch Ness Monster…”

Josie and Steve were a lot less put together in this one, mostly because their props were worse, but also they took more time to think of some, even when the camera was back on them.

Still a nice enough Props, especially from Colin and Ryan

Foreign Film Dub – Josie and Colin act out the Spanish film “Jack and the Cucumber,” translated be Steve and Ryan.

Ryan, on Colin and Josie’s cucumber: “We shall peel it, and raise it as our own”
Josie: [in tears]
Steve: “Oh, that’s really funny!”

Ryan does another one of his trademark ‘talking for 25 minutes after Colin does only a sentence or two’ ones.

Josie: “Jack…Jack…”
Steve: “JIMMY. JIMMY.”

Very silly, but not one of the better playings of this.

Party Quirks: Steve hosts
Josie: thinks Steve is a wild horse
Colin: wins lottery then loses ticket
Ryan: goes through puberty in 15 seconds

Josie, as usual, is fantastic with this quirk, in the way she talks to Steve, and motions things. Sadly, Steve does guess this in 10 seconds, but it’s very warranted.

Colin starts energetically looking on the floor
Steve: “What, what have you lost?”
Colin: “JUST MY DREAMS! MY HOPES!”

Steve cannot for the life of him guess Colin’s, even when he’s trying his damnedest, and Clive, in the background, yells “SOUNDS LIKE…OTTERY TICKET!” His final guess is “…YOU’RE A VIETNAM VET!”

Psychiatrist: Josie
Steve: thinks he’s a peanut in France
Colin: scared of psychiatrists in Germany
Ryan: in love with as nurse in Mexico

Richard comes in with accordion music for the first one, which Steve, bringing back memories of Jim Sweeney, gives him a look for.

Steve surprisingly does well in this singing game, giving a simple but still charming enough verse about doubt, and, well, peanuts.

Josie, with the genius line: “You obviously need to come out of your shell.”

Josie ends by saying that Steve’s better than his adversaries, because “at least you are dry-roasted…”

Immediately on starting his, Colin scooches to the side of the chair, barely hanging on, frightened out of his mind.

His verse is…classic. He sings entirely in German, scared shitless, barely looking at Josie, and nearly yelling his lines. Of course, his final line, after the German, is “I’M…SCARED OF PSYCHIATRISTS.”
The whole house comes down. It’s the first time Colin would through random bilingualism into a scene

There’s a fluid motion that I have always loved this game, as Josie sings her reply verse:

Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 5.26.31 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-06-21 at 5.26.39 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-06-21 at 5.26.49 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-06-21 at 5.26.56 PM.png

And then, as Josie sings closer and closer, as she does…
Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 5.27.54 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-06-21 at 5.28.01 PM.png

Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 5.28.21 PM

It’s so indicative of both of their acting personas- Josie is so touchy-feely, and Colin is so neurotic. It’s absolutely perfect.

Colin leaves the table with this incredible smile on his face (and possibly the weirdest boner he’s ever had), and as he turns back to Ryan and Steve, still smiling, Steve absolutely loses it.

Right as they turn Ryan’s mic back on, he’s still cracking up, probably at what Steve just said in response to Colin’s scene. Not sure what Steve said, though. I’m also 90% sure that, after Colin’s round, he knows he’s not gonna compare, so he literally gives himself the sign of the cross.

Ryan’s is pretty basic for this type of game
“She’s the kind of girl that makes people scoff
But I love it when she grabs me by the testicles and says cough”
[The audience loves this one, though]

Josie ends her verse with “and she knows where to bump her thermostat”, which makes Ryan visibly react, and has him going “OW” as he’s heading back to the seats.

Overall: Three great games and a lot of meh. Not a bad episode, but subscribes to the ‘just okay’ tone of several of this season’s episodes. Not really anyone’s fault, though in several games it seemed tough for Steve and Josie to keep up with Ryan and Colin, but it still had some great moments, especially in Film and Theatre Styles, Mission Impossible and Psychiatrist. This was very much a Ryan and Colin show, as they dominated the games, despite some occasional nice work from Steve in Mission Impossible, or Josie in Psychiatrist. Perhaps the imbalance came from Steve and Josie realizing that it wasn’t exactly their show anymore.

Show Winner: Steve and Josie
Best Performer: Colin, for having the best funny moments, as per usual this season
Worst Performer: Steve Frost, keeping his streak going from the last few episodes in terms of not-great improv moves
Best Game: Psychiatrist. Almost went with Mission Impossible, but Psychiatrist was more consistent all the way through, had all 4 in good form, and had a better ending than Mission Impossible. Plus, it had Colin’s verse, which is a classic
Worst Game: Foreign Film Dub. Not enough to it.