Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S08E14, or The Teeth Right Off Her Gums

The final compilation from Series 8, an overall pretty great series if we’re being contemplative. Tonight’s show features everyone who has appeared on an episode this series, except for Caroline Quentin. That means Ardal O’Hanlon and Rory Bremner are on the bill tonight…for some reason.

Questions Only – Greg, Colin, Ryan, and Ardal are at a police station.
From: E7

Oh boy. Ardal O’Hanlon plays Questions. This will be fun.

I had a theory that this series’ Questions playings don’t really start until Ryan and Colin are onstage together, and that’s proved by Ryan, relieving a listless Greg, coming down and asking Colin “is there a reason you’re not wearing clothes?”

Ardal, once he relieves Colin, proves he’s alright at asking questions, but does have a bit more hesitation than necessary. Also, it feels less like he’s asking questions and more like he’s just spitting questions back in blank character.

Ardal, barely staying on task: “Would…the german shepherd have more than one leg?”
Ryan, confused both in AND out of character: “…don’t they all?”
Ardal: “…WHERE IN THE HELL D’YOU COME FROM?”

Colin: [reenters]
Ryan: “Back again?”
Colin: “Weren’t you here last time?”
Ryan: “…aren’t I the same guy?”

Clive ends this before Greg can redeem himself…further illustrating my theory.

Solid enough game, and Ardal did well enough for himself, but comes down to its Colin-Ryan interactions

Film and Theatre Styles: Ryan and Colin (roller coaster operators)
From: E7

The audience suggestions are bypassed, perhaps to hide something vulgar, as is the game intro. We’re just thrown into this one.

Colin, tugging on something: “…seems fine to me.”
Ryan: “But the lever’s stuck. What if people are going down the hill and you can’t stop ’em because the lever’s stuck like that, Jim?”
Colin: “IT MAKES IT MORE EXCITING!”

The Elvis Presley movie style is an excuse for Ryan to show the audience that his Elvis is actually pretty incredible. It gets some great audience response.

Pink Panther:
Colin, running around on a roller coaster cart, doing his best Peter Sellers impression: “How d’yeauoou stop dis?”
Ryan, as the cartoon panther, comes in and stops it completely. Mixing the Sellers and the cartoon opening. Ryan, who’s clearly seen more of the cartoons than the movies, shrugs, and starts licking himself.
BUZZ
Clive: “YOU’VE NEVER SEEN A PINK PANTHER MOVIE, HAVE YOU?”
Ryan: “No…”
Clive: “You thought it was an actual panther!”
Ryan: “YES!”

Quentin Tarantino:
Colin: “…you know what they call this ride in France?”
Ryan: “No, what do they call this ride in France?”
Colin: “…la puk-ee royale.”

We end before Ryan can prove HE’S seen Pulp Fiction, but all in all it’s a fun enough scene.

Let’s Make a Date – Greg is the bachelorette. The bachelors are Niall (a show jumping commentator), Colin (a hypochondriac), and Ryan (obsessed by erotica).
From: E5

Like the last game, this one gets RIGHT TO THE ACTION

Something about Niall’s show jumping voice makes me laugh. I don’t know what, though.

Ryan is great here, just riling off sexy details about bananas, and just keeping this stare locked in the same place.

This isn’t a very funny scene in terms of interplay, but all three are just really good at these quirks. It’s very simple in that regard, but I am definitely amused, especially by Niall and Ryan

Clive asks Greg if he has any ideas
Greg: “…I dunno, I’m still kinda dwelling on #3…”
Ryan: “Well think harder. HARDER.”
Then, right after that, we get a rare wide shot of the stage, and Ryan’s purring in relation to Greg at the other end of the stage. I dunno why, but it’s a really interesting cut.

Greg guesses the first two, then gets to Ryan
Greg: “…#3 is a Tory cabinet minister…”
Clive: “YES, CLOSE ENOUGH!”

Psychiatrist -Josie is the psychiatrist. Her patient is Ryan (in love with sheep in Jamaica).
From: E10

Clive: “There are no sheep in Jamaica, but I don’t care.”

As the reggae music kicks in, Ryan comes in with a vocal hook…one that he still uses in similar numbers to this day…matter of fact, he used it in an episode of the US Whose Line that aired just last night.

Ryan does come in with his usual “making love to a sheep is not baaaaaaad” pun, which…is at least welcome here.

Not much to it, but amusing enough

Secret – Ryan and Colin are priests. The secret is hidden in the confessional.
From: E1

Ryan: “Good morning”
Colin: “…Ah. Father Mother.”
HAAA
Ryan: “Father KnowsBest, how are you?”
The laughs are sustained on this one, but Clive gets a kick out of it

Colin, in finding the secret, thinks of the most ridiculous secret yet: “…these are secret plans to make you God!”
Ryan surprisingly handles this one well.
Colin: “YOU’RE GONNA START A NEW RELIGION!”
Ryan: “I’ve…lost the faith, brother. I’m not sure there is a God anymore, but when people see me, they’ll know there’s a god. They may not LIKE ME, but there I am!”

Ryan: “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to be God yourself. I’ve seen you…in your room…up against the wall…”
They both realize that Ryan’s sort of lost his indication there.
Ryan: “…whatever that means…”

Colin: “DOES NOT THE GOOD BOOK SAY, LET THERE BE ONE LORD, AND MAY HE BE THE ONE WHO IS NOT YOU?”
HA. This ties into his ‘own interpretation of the bible’ from Here he is now.

Ryan: “I have powers much like him, but a little different. Look, simple water- POOF. POTATO SALAD!”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2018-07-03 at 11.27.19 PM.png

Colin: “I’M BEGINNING TO DOUBT MY VERY SELF AND BELIEFS!”
Ryan: “Then doubt away! I shall part your hair!”

An absolutely phenomenal Secret, going the most ridiculous route they could have gone, and piping in some silly lines along the way. Yes, this one even tops the ‘ventriloquist dummy in the oven’ one.

Hats – Steve, Josie, Colin, and Ryan act out the world’s worst dating service video.
From: E10

Oh god, this one…

Screen Shot 2018-07-03 at 11.31.00 PM.pngRyan: “YOU’RE A PIECE OF METAL! I’M A PIECE OF METAL! When things get real hot [flips down helmet] we KINDA FUSE TOGETHER. YA SEE, OUR LEGS-”
BUZZ
Immediately as Clive buzzes, Ryan lifts the helmet back up and looks at Clive, betrayed

Then, after a few more suggestions, like Colin coming out in a space helmet and no words coming out, Ryan returns in that helmet
Ryan: “Okay, maybe ya didn’t understand what I was saying…YOU’RE A PIECE OF-”
BUZZ

Josie, with a police hat on: “OKAY, BOYS. SPREAD ‘EM.”
And she gives the most devilish look right after. She knows what she’s done.

Screen Shot 2018-07-03 at 11.34.17 PM.pngSteve: “…NOW THEN NOW THEN, I’D LIKE TO-”
BUZZ

Then, Ryan returns, just staring at the camera with the same helmet on
Ryan: “……alright, this is the last time I’m gonna explain this to you-”
BUZZZZZ

Narrate – Colin is a door-to-door salesman visiting housewife Ryan
From: E4

Ryan, because he can’t simply play a woman, feeds in the ‘3 days since the operation’ line. Then finally goes to the door.
Colin, upstage: “…something answered the door.”
The audience goes wild. Ryan grins and bears it.

Ryan, perhaps not too in-character, says “I couldn’t think of a thing to say to him.”
Ryan:
Screen Shot 2018-07-03 at 11.39.32 PM.png

Colin, upstage: “She gave me the kind of look that would give a lovesick yak second thoughts.”

Ryan: “He looked nervous. I thought, maybe at this point, that I should put some clothes on.”
Then, Ryan, as he dresses, realizing along the way what he’s set himself up for: “Pour yourself something tall…and long.”
Colin: “…I looked for a sledgehammer.” [shrug]
THAT made me laugh

A very nice Narrate scene, made great by some very silly choices across the board, made possible by some desperation- Ryan spent a lot of the scene trying not to let the scene die, and he made it pretty great.

Press Conference – Greg, Rory, and Ryan interview Colin, who spent six months living inside a whale.
From: E2

Finally they get the bright idea to let Colin be the base of one of these, and it’d work well enough to get him into Newsflash as well.

Greg: “What did you do to while away the time?”
Colin: “…well, of course, I decided to paint the house…”
That’s why Colin works in guessing games like these. He’ll legitimize the ridiculous, because it might fit with what the answer really is.

Rory even pipes in with a Loyd Grossman impression…I guess, because he can. Not the only time he’d do that impression on this show (it’s coming immediately next episode, no pun intended).

Greg asks Colin if Geppetto was worried about him, which Rory, getting a few seconds later, just laughs at.

Ryan: “Is sperm your favorite.”
Of course. The audience loves this one.

Definitely a better playing of this than usual, not to knock Caroline. They’d use Colin more often in these, including a very important playing coming very soon.

News Report: Pinocchio- Colin and Greg in the studio, Ardal and Ryan in the field
From: E7

AND WE FOLLOW THE WHALE ONE WITH PINOCCHIO? PERFECT!

Greg: “Good evening, I’m Long…Lovingly.”
Colin: “And I’m Randy as a Mink…but of course, my name is Jim.”
Greg: “Come to think of it, so am I.”

Ardal, who’s mostly been passive, sets Ryan up as a wooden girl who fucked Pinocchio. A bit too much there, Ardal.
Ryan, reacting like a pro: “He was okay, but the splinters are killing me.”

Colin: “What kind of lie d’you have to tell to satisfy that woman.”
And as the audience stews on that hell of a joke, we cut away

Helping Hands: Colin and Ryan (hands provided by Greg) are Arctic explorers.
From: E6

A lone game from E6 lands on the compilations? Proves how good that show was.

A slow start, but eventually Colin convinces Ryan to have a drink, and Greg plays with getting the flask to Ryan’s face, which is fun.

Colin does weave a bit of the story: Ryan has gone mad after this time in the arctic, and is making up rules about self-preservation. When Colin tries to call for help, he takes out a snowshoe and bats around a stuffed dog.
Ryan: “I thought we might have a little game of arctic tennis!”
Colin: “MY GOD! YOU’VE KILLED OUR ONLY MODE OF TRANSPORTATION!”

Greg finds two flags, a union jack and an american flag, and starts waving them around as Ryan talks about sharing warmth
Ryan, realizing: “AND GOD BLESS BRITAIN! GOD BLESS BRITAIN….AND THAT OTHER COUNTRY OVER THERE!”

This one has some funny moments, but it’s ultimately pretty frenzied, and slightly incoherent. Which is sad, as this is the lone HH round from S8. Which is kind of a good thing, seeing as the game was played to death back in Series 4 and 5.

Hoedown: Steve, Josie, Colin and Ryan sing about Grandmothers
From: E10

Josie is particularly excited for this playing of Hoedown.

Not a lot going on in this hoedown- Steve and Josie’s are kind of hit-miss, Colin’s takes the secondary suggestion and ends on ‘I’M INSANE’….AND THEN WE GET TO RYAN

Ryan: “I love my grandmother, and when the day ends
I discover that we are a bit more than friends”
The audience starts losing it here, and Ryan realizes he doesn’t really need to go on, so he just sits on that, looking kind of ashamed. Then…as he needs to finish the verse, he just ads, as the end “….the teeth right off her gums”. Which gives an even darker connotation as to what he may have skipped over. But the rest have no choice but to repeat it for the last stanza.

As the show goes to credits, Ryan can be heard turning to an amused Colin and going “…I couldn’t go through with that one.”

Overall:
Best Performer: Ryan Stiles. This show was essentially his finest hours.
Worst Performer: Ardal O’Hanlon. He just wasn’t good at all even in his games here.
Best Game: Secret. Absolutely masterful.
Worst Game: Psychiatrist, for being kind of limp

SERIES 8 SUPERLATIVES!

Best Episode: E5, featuring Niall Ashdown buttressing Greg, Ryan and Colin, and doing a nice job of it, Colin carrying games like Changing Emotions and Director like a pro, Greg quibbling with Clive throughout the second half, culminating in a classic Bartender, and an overall series-defining feel.
2nd Best Episode: E2, featuring Rory Bremner snogging Colin, an unbelievably funny Dead Bodies, Rory doing Clive in Party Quirks while Ryan premieres his gazelle impression, an insanely-fast Home Shopping round, and some unmistakable banter.
3rd Best Episode: E6, featuring Caroline mastering Greg for a round of Film and Theatre Styles, Greg quarreling with Clive throughout the show, a classic round of Here he is Now, some pretty cool dynamic stuff aside from just Ryan and Colin, and just a fun Questions Only round.
Worst Episode: E7. Ardal O’Hanlon was a dynamic destroyer, and it was hard for games to stand out in a good way with him on the panel.
Best Regular: Colin Mochrie, for OWNING games this season, and just getting ‘Best Performer’ a ton of times this series.
Best Recurring Guest: TIE between Caroline Quentin and Greg Proops. The former broke down boundaries all across the season, getting some incredible laughs and somethings being more comfortable than the regulars. The latter had some strong shows this season, and cemented his status as the voice of snide against Clive.
Worst Guest: Ardal O’Hanlan. You let Dougal do a Funeral????
Most Improved: Niall Ashdown, who came back from his fine but forgettable S7 episode, and started doing REALLY FUNNY stuff here, especially throughout E5, going up with the best of them, and doing well in singing games.
Most Unlikely Successful Combo: Steve and Caroline, successful in a few games during E4, and combining powers to deliver the classic Butcher’s Scene to Music.
Guest We Wish Wasn’t Done After This Season: Caroline Quentin. She was so good here that it’s very sad to hear that other commitments would keep her away from the show from here on out.

I’ve heard from a few people that the ‘Golden Age’ of Whose Line ends with Series 8, and while I don’t completely agree…I also don’t completely disagree either. And we’ll find out exactly why with 9×01, which…SHOCKINGLY isn’t entirely on youtube. If you know the episode, you know EXACTLY why. If it weren’t for Hulu, we’d all be screwed, no pun intended.

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