Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S09E06, or Shouldn’t You Read Him His Rights or Something?

Our second straight Steve Frost episode, this time paired with this series’ new rising star Brad Sherwood. The Brad-Steve-Colin-Ryan teaming would appear in two tapings and five episodes, tied with the Steve-Colin-Ryan-Tony matchup for most of this show.

In introducing Ryan, Clive says “and for his nine-hundredth consecutive appearance on this show…comedian, actor, and the producer’s brother, RYAN STILES!”

Superheroes: Acid rain!
Colin: Captain Buttocks Promiscuous Man
Ryan: Can’t Move Without Hurting Himself Boy
Brad: Hilarious Punchlines Boy
Steve: Professor Hugs-Too-Hard

Clive gets Colin’s superhero name from combining the two best suggestions. Colin, from his initial reaction, LOVES THIS:
Screen Shot 2018-09-03 at 4.08.27 PM.png
Clive: “It’s interesting that two separate sections of the audience have met you before…”

Clive asks for the global problem:
Audience member: “Lots of hairpieces!”
Colin then begins to walk angrily towards the audience, and Ryan has to hold him back. This is very Captain Hair-esque

Clive: “ACID RAIN! Now that’s a real, sensible suggestion. Not funny, mind, but a real…”

Colin does some great physicality with huge buttocks, but finally gets the crisis of acid rain: “I hope it hits that woman who suggested ‘missing hairpieces'”

Ryan, stoner voice: “I’m sorry I’m late, captain Buttocks, I got caught in an acid showerrrr…”

I will say…’Professor Hugs-Too-Hard’ is the single most Brad Sherwood suggestion out there. Of course, Steve delivers, picking up Brad and twirling him around. And then he hugs Ryan and Ryan screams in pain.

There’s a great moment of applause, when Ryan’s screaming out in pain, Steve’s got done with hugging Colin and Colin is smiling. It’s a wonderful group moment.

Steve comes up with a brilliant, complicated suggestion, hugs Brad one more time, and then leaves.
Brad: “Huh, you should have seen the other guy…”

Ryan, as he exits, makes another loud, wincing noise every time he takes a step. And he even makes one once he’s offstage.

A perfectly fine Superheroes, with some great moments of teamwork, and Colin just owning his quirk.

Song Styles: Brad sings a love song to Anna, a nurse.

Brad, as usual, brings a lot of vocal panache to this one, and some great lyrical work:
“Anna, I will be your man
If you just do my prostate exam”

Beautiful song, too, as Brad can hold long notes, and make it heartfelt, while immediately going back to a joke:
“I’m dying…of this disease
Called love.
Grab your rubber glove.
Give your thumb a shove.”

One of the best Song Styles rounds we’ve had in a long time. The audience is absolutely wild about this one, too.

Secret: Ryan and Colin are two frisky geriatrics in an old people’s home; the secret is hidden in the commode.

Colin: “I got a date tonight!”
Ryan: “A date….you goin’ out for puddin?”
[I love how he says that line]

Ryan: “How’d you get a date with her?”
Colin: “Just…took out my teeth and did an impression of the chunnel…”

Ryan gets to name the Secret this time, and he at least picks a good, if pedestrian compared to Colin’s, reveal: “…Elvis trading cards?”
And this time, COLIN is the one to take a few beats to recover. He cracks for a brief second, too…
Colin, stalling: “…I guess you wanna know what they were doing there…”
Ryan: “I SURE DO…”

Colin eventually figures it out: “…can you keep a secret?”
Colin: “…there’s only two of us in here…”:
Colin: “….I’m Elvis.”

Ryan: “Waaait a minute [checking trading card] what’s your favorite food?”
Colin: “…hamburgers deep fried in batter.”
Ryan: “LONG LIVE THE KING!”
And then, Colin does a fantastic physical Elvis impression, before wincing, hurting a hip. Wincing easily seems to be a theme of this show.

Colin proclaims he lost his voice. “I can’t sing anymore.”
Ryan, with another great read: “ohhhhhhh I bet ya could…LOOK BACK TO THOSE DAYS, ELVIS…”
Colin, knowing what Ryan’s setting him up for, cracks a bit.
Colin: “I CAN’T, I CAN’T, DON’T MAKE ME DO IT…”
Ryan: “Priscilla still looks good! I bet she’d come back to ya if she could hear ya sing again.”

And then, Ryan pulls a fast one: “BUT NOT ANY OF YOUR OLD HITS.”
Colin: “NO, THAT’D BE TOO SIMPLE.”
[internally, he just goes ‘dammit Ryan…’]

As Ryan coaxes Colin into singing one of his lost songs, he goes “here…I’ll play the maracas for ya.” And takes out his teeth. This is genius.

Then, Colin gets the ground back by proclaiming he’s gonna do a song entirely in German, an old Hoedown trick for when he had no idea what to sing. Clive knows what’s coming.
Ryan: “IT’S OKAY ELVIS! I’LL TRANSLATE!”
Colin, getting into this song: “….Och-”
Ryan: “OH!”
Colin: “Och-”
Ryan: “OH!”
Colin, perfect Elvis voice: “….LIEBERLIEBERLIEBERLIEBER…”

SUCH A GOOD SECRET SCENE. That scene grew legs on its own, and just became a wonderful long-form-y Colin-Ryan scene. One of my favorite Secrets thus far.

Addicts Anonymous: Brad runs a self-help group for the other three, who are all addicted to game shows.

Brad, entering: “Sorry, I’m late, I-”
Ryan: [buzzes]
Brad, sighing, takes away his podium. Already a great start.

Steve, who I was worried would be a bit behind Ryan and Colin in terms of exposure to game shows, nails this, shaking hands, and being very giggly throughout.

Brad does a great job as the straight-man proctor here: “There are only three of ya, and we’re not narrowing it down to one! Remember that!”

Brad, to Colin: “How’ve you felt this week-”
Colin: “I’ve felt fine [turns to camera] My name is Jim Peters, I’m an accountant.”
Brad: “TAKE OFF THIS NAMETAG!”

Colin: I’m up to step three but it’s just not working!”
Brad: “Ooh, that’s the bonus round! Keep going!”

Brad: “HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL?”
Ryan: “small.”
Colin: “What does he win for that?”
Ryan: “NOTHING! There’s nothing to win for the real world, remember that!”
Steve: “There isn’t, but I think these chairs are worth 3000 pounds for the three!”

Colin sets up Brad to have him remember the group’s motto. Brad spins it back and says they should all do it together.

A very fun, if light at some points, game.

Sports Commentators – Brad and Steve commentate on Ryan and Colin, two hunks setting up on the beach.

This one, as usual, takes a bit to get going, but once Colin sticks an umbrella pole up Ryan’s ass, things really get going.

The ‘slow motion replay’ of the wet towel slap is great, because you see so much more emotion on Colin’s face.

Again, I don’t love this game, and I think it’s fairly straightforward, but this one had some nice moments.

Film Dub: Steve and Ryan are on an expedition.

Steve, as he heads down the World’s Worst step, stumbles a little, and facepalms as he regains his footing, and realizes they’re gonna use that take.

This is a silly enough scene- Ryan and Steve calling someone and asking where the map is, when it’s literally on the wall behind them.

Steve has a great moment where he takes the pauses as his character does, and makes it sound really odd: “It’s up….to me……and you…..to decide…..whether we……..SHOULD GO!”

And the scene ends with them finding the map, and Steve exclaiming “WHAT’S THIS???”

A fairly straightforward and silly scene, but not without its moments.

Animals – Ryan and Colin are two gazelles who are hiding illegal substances, Brad is the lion cop who catches them.

This is a great excuse for Ryan to bring back his gazelle impression, but Colin’s just as good, as both are looking around, turning their heads at the same time. Then finally:
Ryan: “….ya got the grass?”

Colin and Ryan have a great conversation about Ryan eating the grass instead of smoking it, but Brad eventually bounds in and improves the scene.

And yes, Brad slowly pursuing Ryan and Colin as they do the gazelle run is fantastic to watch.

Brad as the lion cop is fantastic, with a very different growly voice. He also kills Colin out of nowhere.
Ryan, as caught off-guard as I was: “Whooooa, shouldn’t you read him his rights or something?”

Pretty great scene, and honestly it could have gone on a bit longer.

Weird Newscaster – Brad is the anchor,
Colin (is having a breakdown because he used to be the sole newscaster) is the co-anchor,
the weatherman is Ryan (is being distracted by a couple making love in front of him),
and the sportscaster is Steve (a rowdy football fan).

Just the opening visual alone is hysterical:
Screen Shot 2018-09-03 at 4.56.12 PM.png

Colin’s demeanor as Brad cheerily speeds along is wonderful (“…I wish I had a GUN!”), and Steve, chiming in every now and then, is fantastic.

Steve: “…today, in the preseason warmup-CHELLESEEEAAA…”

After a bit of that, Steve picks up his stool and starts flailing it around, slamming it on the ground. By far his best performance of the show.

If you’ve ever seen the Eyewitness News portion of Kentucky Fried Movie, you know what to expect from at least the first part of Ryan’s quirk.

Yes, the more Ryan sees, the more aroused Ryan gets.
Steve, as a chant: “YOU’RE GOIN’ HOME WITH A GREAT BIG STIFFY!”

Overall: A very middle of the road show. There were highlights (Superheroes, Secret, Animals), and some very okay games (Sports Commentators, Film Dub), and just a generally alright feel. There were a ton of great improv decisions, and not all of them led to funny moments. Everyone had good and bad moments, and surprisingly Steve had a few more standout moments than I expect, although Brad did run away with the show, thanks to great performances in Song Styles and Animals.

Show Winners: Ryan and Colin
Best Performer: Brad, for having another dominant show.
Worst Performer: Ryan, solely for not having as many standout performances as the other three, but he was still alright.
Best Game: Secret. Just phenomenal.
Worst Game: Sports Commentators. Just another weak round of this.

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