Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S09E13, or I DON’T WANT.

After a brief hiatus to cram some QIs, we’re back with the rest of Series 9, featuring a bunch of episodes cobbled from pre-existing tapings. This one, featuring Greg and Steve, came from the same taping that gave us Episode 5, which was a pretty good show, and gave us an insanely funny Moving People and some really nice dynamic stuff. Hopefully it all carries over into this one.

Film and Theatre Styles – Ryan and Colin are Antarctic weather researchers when Colin notices Ryan acting weird, in the styles of Star Wars, Roman epic, the Muppets, Reservoir Dogs, World War II weepy, and Dirty Harry.

We’ve seen the fantastic Steve-Greg playing of this, now for the obvious Ryan-Colin game

Clive, getting suggestions: “PINGU, was that? Don’t you think you’re just a tad old for Pingu…”

Audience member: “Confessions of…”
Clive: “Confessions of what?”
Audience member: “…well, anything you’d like-”
Clive, amused, writes that down.

From five seconds in, we get the dynamic: Ryan sticks his hand out the window, reports it’s still snowing. Colin, already dead to this, just glares at him.

Ryan explains he’s just been trying to entertain Colin, and it hasn’t worked.
Ryan: “When I ran into your room the other night in a loincloth? That didn’t entertain you?”
Colin: “No, that just scared me.”

Star Wars style, like usual, is low-hanging fruit, but at least Ryan has a nice physical gag with the lightsaber that just won’t work. He does mark it off with a great punchline, as the saber isn’t working: “I’ll use the fork.”

Clive: “roman epic”
Colin: “Yes…I guess I should have told you XXI years ago…”

Ryan has a great visual of entering ‘the baths’, which is a variation on going down the stairs. Clive, and the audience, get a kick out of it.

Then, on the visual of Ryan in the hot-tub
Clive: “…the muppets.”
Screen Shot 2018-11-26 at 7.54.36 PM.png
Just two changes of facial expression gets the audience laughing
Ryan: “COME ON IN, IT’S REALLY WARM!”

On the Reservoir Dogs style, after a few easy ‘Mr. Brown’ puns, they get back into the meat of the scene, into really good aping of Tarantino’s dialogue. Then, Ryan sticks what must be 20 cigarettes in his mouth, and tries to smoke them all.

Colin, having seen Reservoir Dogs, cuts off Ryan’s ear.
BUZZZ
Colin: “The weather game’s a hard game.”
BUZZZ
Ryan: “WHAT??”
Ha…ha…ha…

WWII weepy:
Colin: “I want you to…take your ear, and…give it to my wife.”
Ryan, coming upstage: “Well, I don’t see your wife anymore Teddy-”
He stops, astonished. Colin turns to him.

Ryan, finally: “Take the ear with ya. I wanna hear everything that happens out there…”

Ryan, Dirty Harry style: “I know what you’re thinking…you’ve got one of my ears….’how many ears do I have left?’…well, you’ve got to ask yourself one question…can I hear you, punk?”

The scene ends with a very silly gag (Colin cutting off the other ear and screaming into both of them).

I did enjoy this scene, and I like how plot-base it was overall, but I do think it went on a bit too long, and it could have ended at numerous points, either at the ‘Ryan’s seeing Colin’s wife’ revelation, or on ‘WHAT??’ Still a good scene, but would have worked better had it been shorter.

Let’s Make a Date – Greg is the bachelorette. The bachelors are Steve (Scottish clan leader), Colin (has a death wish), and Ryan (desperately trying to get aroused).

Steve, without even getting a question, is ridiculously silly, sporting a very good accent and just going on wild tangents in the scottish accent.

Greg pulls a fast one on Colin: “Will you describe yourself to me….in a short poem?”
Colin, just registering the second part: “….SURE.”

Ryan’s is a crowd-pleaser, but it’s also just really funny, in a very demented, bizarre sort of way. And the smiliness of Colin’s is just killing me.

Greg: “#2, I love to travel-”
Colin: “TRAINS SPEEDING ALONG. ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE JUST SITTING ON THE TRACK, WATCHING THEM COME.”
Ryan: “COME COME COME COME COME…”
Good lord…

Clive is sarcastically applauding all of Greg’s guesses, just to screw with him.
Greg: “…is it that hard to show some enthusiasm…”
Ryan: “HARD, HARD, OH YEAH…”
Greg: “Number three is, uh…Clive?”
Ryan: [nods]
PERFECT

Not a bad LMAD, though it felt a bit rushed, or a bit quicker than usual.

Hey You Down There – Greg narrates a film about scuba diving, acted out by Ryan and Colin.

Oh, I love this game whenever they do it, and Greg’s a great voice for it.

There’s a great moment where Greg asks if they have their flippers on, and Ryan says no…but Greg already is going on, so he quickly pivots and gives a thumbs-up.

Ryan does throw in the ‘missing hand’ trick, which Greg explains “can be a super bummer when you’re underwater”

Greg: “You know what’s attracted to the smell of blood? Sharks!”
Colin: [points cowardly to Ryan]
Ryan, with one hand, keeps swimming in circles, which is a very silly visual

Colin does go to save Ryan
Greg: “You know, sharks can’t tell whether you’re the guy without the hand, or the FRIEND of the guy without the hand.”
At that, Colin pushes Ryan away and swims out. Of course.

Not as good as past HYDTs, but still a fun one.

Hats: Dating Service Videos

Screen Shot 2018-11-26 at 8.15.28 PM.pngSteve: “Uhh, birdwatching is my favorite hobby…”

Colin, as the Statue of Liberty: “Give me your poor, your rejected, ANYONE, I REALLY WANT ANYONE…”

Ryan, in a scuba diving mask, misses where the stool is and nearly falls over. Clive, seeing all he needs to, buzzes there.

Amusing, if a bit dull in points

Number of Words – It’s Mutiny on the Bounty with Ryan (2 words) as Fletcher Christian, Colin (4 words) as the ship’s cook, Steve (3 words) as Captain Bligh, and Greg (1 word) as a Polynesian maiden.

Ah yes, more fun with Steve in this game.

Greg, hearing who he’s playing, nearly keels over the desk.

Something about this game feels truly natural here, especially in Colin and Ryan’s scene alone. Only in fleeting moments do the limitations show, and they’re just really quick about back-and-forth.

Steve’s entry continues this, though Steve’s reads do have pauses baked in, just for the hell of it.

Greg, saying his first line, looking at Ryan: “…Fletcher. [giggles]”
Again, it’s all so natural so far.

Colin: “You know she’s ugly.”
Ryan: “WHO CARES!”

Ryan tries to figure out a way to end the scene, but he realizes Colin’s still making the omelette.
Colin: “Here’s your omelette, sir…”
Steve: “…I DON’T WANT….”
He stops, proud of himself.
Colin: “…well, screw you then…”
Greg: “SCREW?”
Ryan, not believing his luck this scene: “YES PLEASE!”

Probably the best playing of this so far, solely because it didn’t feel tacky, like a lot of Number of Words games can be sometimes. All four were just strong in this.

Clive: “I think the idea, Steve, was to make sentences with three words in them, not to go three words and then stop…”

Newsflash – Colin and Greg are the anchors; Ryan is in the field, in front of animals mating

Before the scene even starts, the playback is shown on screen, and the rhinos are already in mount position. Greg’s just going “we’ll look forward to that”, and the audience is already gone.

Colin, over audience laughter: “WELCOME…TO THE NEWS…”

Colin: “How does the mood seem to you?”
Ryan, who pretty much knows instantly: “They seem pretty jovial already…they look like they’re ready to get started any time now…”

Colin: “I was wondering exactly…how are YOU gonna get involved in this?”
Ryan breaks a little bit here.
Ryan: “Well I thought I’d start out by, of course, washing…”

Greg asks how Ryan prepared for this
Ryan: “Well as you know, I didn’t need a lot of preparation, as this was my major in college…”

Greg: “Can you describe for us some of the smells that are coming your way?”
[And i’m gone]

Clive asks what the animals [as Ryan guessed cows] behind him are doing
Ryan, giving a very Brad response: “I, uh, hope they’re not mating…”
BUZZZ

Addicts Anonymous – All four are wrestling addicts.

As Steve gets in position, he nearly trips over the chair, and has to stop and compose himself.
Clive: “Steve’s already wrestling with the chair…”

Greg: “Colin, get a grip on yourself”
Colin: [starts strangling himself]

Steve goes to shake Greg’s hand, then goes into a full heel move, going for a takedown and everything.

This wholly isn’t as good as the first playing of this, but any moment where all four break out into wrestling hysterics, only for Greg and Ryan to immediately try to quell, then continue, then quell again, is very funny.

Greg gets to a point where he’s done the first half of the group’s motto, ‘when you’re on the mat’, but he can’t think of the rest.
Colin: “…that is that.”
Greg: “Yes, thank you for remembering the rest of that…”

Ryan says he’s going to leave early, then goes between the ropes, bouncing back and forth. And then Steve and Greg join him in going back and forth, which is very amusing.

Again, not as good as the Game Shows one, but the moments of all four in hysterics are all insanely funny

Hoedown: Golf

Steve’s is going really well up til the last piece, where he has to rhyme with ‘hard’. He gets out: “but make sure you use a club and not a piece of lard.” Somehow, he gets through unscathed.

Greg, when the camera cuts back to him, is still laughing at Steve’s, which, in turn cracks Steve back up.
Greg: “You stunned me!”

Greg, finally start: “I’m next to Colin Mochrie, he really is a chum
Before we shoot the program, he lets me pat his bum-”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2018-11-26 at 8.45.04 PM.png
Greg: “But when we go out golfing, it really makes me sick.
Cause he always asks me to grab onto his stick.”

Ryan: “When we go golfing, I always bet a buck.”
He smirks, knowing what the audience is expecting.
“And my friend kisses me, he kisses FOR GOOD LUCK.”

A pretty solid Hoedown, as standard for this taping.

Overall: Not as good as the other one from this taping, but not without his moments: F&TS, Number of Words and Newsflash were all out-of-the-box funny, and Steve’s vigor, absent from the last show, made appearances in LMAD and Addicts Anonymous. But the show did feel kind of disjointed, definitely feeling like it was ‘the best of what’s left’, not a superior cobbling of E5.

Show Winner: Greg
Best Performer: Ryan, for lifting a lot of the games tonight.
Worst Performer: Greg, for taking primarily straight man roles without doing a ton outstanding. This was very difficult, as all four were funny tonight, but I couldn’t give this to Steve after the amount he tried.
Best Game: Number of Words. The concept finally clicked.
Worst Game: Hats. Very ho-hum.

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