Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S09E14, or And YOU like to Watch

FINALLY back with another Whose Line. I figure since I’ve stagnated this series out for nearly 6 months, I should probably work on finishing the damned thing. So, here we are with another episode from the taping that brought us E2, a fantastic episode for Greg-Clive banter. Maybe there’ll be some refuse from it here, as well as more great work from LA import Karen Maruyama.

Questions Only – Two couples are on holiday; an affair is going on.

Already, you can see that Karen is both a natural at scene-building and keeping questions going. It’s Colin that gets buzzed with a ‘pardon?’

And then Greg immediately gets buzzed, responding to ‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN’, with a “well you…ahh…I don’t know.” Again, it’s early in the taping.

And then Karen, back with Colin, goes “do you want to tell him, or do I want to?” Which is a very odd question. Colin’s confused as all hell, even as she leaves.

Colin: “Where did she go?”
Ryan, with a clever move: “…why did you stop rubbing my back?”

As per usual with this game, the ‘real game’ starts when Colin and Ryan are together, and their back and forth is uniformly excellent.

Ryan: “Doesn’t it show on your face?”
Colin: “Were you LOOKING at my face?”
Ryan: “…d’you really think it’s that hard?”
Colin, naturally: “Are you still talking about my face?”
Ryan: “What were YOU thinking?”
Colin: [cracks]

Karen: “…do you want to touch my breasts right now?”
Greg, contrasting perfectly: “DO I???”
Karen, not topping that, leaves, leaving Greg distraught…so Ryan enters, and Greg just touches his. Which improves THAT tension
Ryan: “…are they okay?”

Perfectly great QO playing, as all four were just getting warm by the end.

Sound Effects – Colin the fireman gets a call out. Ryan provides sound effects.

Clive does another ‘do you have that in America’ for fireman, but keeps explaining past baseline and goes into condescension, causing Colin to just shake his head, exasperated.

Ryan does start with Colin sleeping…but throws in some hints as to what he’s dreaming about: “ohhh yes, just like that…oh, oui oui…”

My first big laugh was Colin sliding down the pole, then emitting an ‘AAGGH’ noise once he’s down.

Great moment: Colin goes through all kinds of stairs, gets into the firetruck…then checks himself out in the mirrors. Great character detail.

And then, Colin untangles the hose, gets it ready, fires
Ryan: “….drip.”

Honestly, this one ended a bit too soon. I would have loved to see him actual interact with the call other than arguing with the hose. Great scene, though.

Film and Theatre Styles – Greg fires Karen from her job as Little Red Riding Hood at a fairy tale park

Clive, fielding suggestions: “Yes, Eastenders, let’s sort these Americans out! Let’s show them what they can do with their Cockney accents! Where’s Dick van Dyke when you need him…”

Greg: “Yes, but…putting ecstasy in your basket, it’s really not appropriate…”

Star Trek:
Greg, perfect Shatner: “You…..CAN’T go ON…”

Just a note- Clive is just blowing through these styles. I feel like there’s been only one line in the first two.

Tennessee Williams:
Karen: “It’s so hot in here…I mean, you are my step-daddy brother…”

Thankfully this goes on for a bit, as both are great at this style, with bawdy southern accents.

Greg: “I remember the day I hired you-”
Karen: “I remember too, you were just a tinker man…with fire in his heart and love in his loins…”

Greg mentions: “All I do is sit in my office while you prance around and wait for a wolf to eat you…”
Karen, with the only response she CAN do here: “…and you like to waatch…”

Not a terrific F&TS, but the Tennessee Williams style saved it. Wish the rest of the game could have been like that.

Sports Commentators – Greg and Karen commentate on Ryan and Colin, rival hot dog salesmen.

I still don’t love this game…and yet they do it a lot this series.

Clive, of course: “And you have hot dogs in America, of course.”
Greg, already done with this shit: “…yeah.”
Clive: “It’s the national dish, ANYWAY AWAY YOU GO-”
Greg starts the scene just glaring at Clive, then: “…we’ve got small sausages here in England, too…”
Clive, not letting him take the win: “…are you speaking personally, or just…”


Karen: “That’s right, today’s a special day because they’re using Polish!”

The scene is pretty tame so far, with both Colin and Ryan doing separate sales. But it’s only when Colin reaches over and bites one of Ryan’s hot dogs right off the grill that the scene really gets going.

Then, right when Ryan is about to ketchup-attack Colin, Greg calls for a ‘LET’S SEE THAT AGAIN’…which frightens Ryan, but they do it.

Plus, the re-doing of Ryan’s mustard stacking gives Colin an excuse to just…grab the mustard bottle and squeeze it in Ryan’s face. Which is a nice move.

Ryan does have a nice retaliation move, finally…he starts cutting onions directly under Colin’s face, leading to a tear attack. Very artsy move…and then Ryan just steals Colin’s entire grill, and starts throwing hot dogs at the crowd.

A much better Sports Commentators than usual, as both sides had a lot of fun with it.

Props – Ryan and Colin vs. Greg and Karen

Clive gives Ryan a prop that has a vaginal-like opening, and Ryan just smirks, shaking his head, knowing exactly what he has to do. As does the audience, who start laughing already.

Greg, rushing the ball-like props at the camera: “SPACE, THE FINAL FRONTIER…”

Also, Greg and Karen realize a sound-component can be used, by clanging the props together, Karen follows with “…this is the ten-o-clock news.”

Ryan, inevitably:
Screen Shot 2019-01-17 at 12.05.25 PM.png

Screen Shot 2019-01-17 at 12.06.05 PM.pngGreg: “PING-PONG BALLS? I thought you said KING KONG’S BALLS!”

A really fun round of props, even with the very obvious Ryan joke that we all saw coming a mile away.

Home Shopping – Ryan and Colin try to sell an umbrella handle, somebody else’s photos, and onion gravy.

Ryan: “Hi, I’m Gary.”
Colin: “…AND I’M GARY TOO.”

Colin, mincing the english language: “Why they appear to be pictures of someone totally someone different from you!”

Colin, with the umbrella handle: “You know, pirates are going out, and going ‘you know..those hooks are just killing me when I scratch my eyes…”

Ryan: “Say, I wonder if pirates can cook with that.”
Colin: “Well, of course! It’s non-stick!”

My favorite detail is Ryan holding up another photo, of ‘Paris’, when in reality it’s just a picture of a cow. He doesn’t even see it, but it’s such a silly detail. He’s also holding it upside-down.

Ryan: “And if you call in the next ten minutes, you get a picture of me…with Gary’s wife!”
Screen Shot 2019-01-17 at 12.12.48 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-01-17 at 12.12.55 PM.png

A fairly strong game of this, with the runner of Ryan holding up pictures keeping me laughing.

Soap Opera – All four act out a soap opera in a public toilet.

So…it’s Animals…without the Animals? O…kay.

The visual of Ryan and Karen drinking martinis while cleaning toilets is a great one to start off with.

Greg: “This is Karen and mine’s special place. We went here on our anniversary-”
Ryan: “I think I peed here first with Karen…”

I do love the entrance of Colin as ‘Sargent Griswold’, completely contrasting from the other three with a gruff voice and manner.

Colin: “I’ve decided I’m going to open up all the urinals. I don’t know what it was…just the sight of the child, standing there, wanting to go but not able to…”

Ryan: “I’m the happiest father on earth. Have a rubber.”

This scene…worked a bit? I don’t think it really got going. And right when it was about to, Clive cut to the end of the episode. This game is a novel idea, but it needed a bit more to flesh out. And I don’t even think it works with all four players.

News Report – Greg and Colin anchor a report on the extinction of dinosaurs; Karen is the field reporter, and Ryan is whoever comes by.

Oh, thank God, this game still exists. I know we’re about to Jerry Springer-ize this game in S10, but old News Report still makes me laugh.

Somehow, the ‘Greg and Colin comparing dick lengths as the music kicks in’ doesn’t get as many laughs as it used to. Which is sad. I used to just start laughing the second that music kicked in.

Greg: “…Good evening, I’m Rock Hard.”
Colin: “…and I’m Peggy Lee……IT’S NOT FUNNY.”

Colin: “Yes, once they died, they became extinct.”
With nothing left, he just turns back to Greg.
Greg: “…clearly.”

Greg: “There’s something in my ear, it’s our field reporter.”
This…also doesn’t get laughs. For some reason. Man, this audience is just jaded.

Karen: “[Ryan] saw one of the last dinosaurs eat it….OOPS. CAN I SAY THAT??”

Karen: “Tell me, sir. What, in your own words, happened.”
Ryan, a Cro-Magnon man, starts drawing on the cave wall instead of talking. A nice touch.

Greg: “Thank you. I detect a cave-drawing of a primitive Clive Anderson on the wall there. Could that be partially responsible for the dinosaurs’ demise, Peggy?”
Colin: “I wouldn’t be surprised, I know it’s killed off many mammals I’ve known.”
[Somewhere, Mike McShane and Tony Slattery applaud]

Karen casts Ryan as a great-great ancestor of Clive Anderson, and sadly he has trouble with the accent
Ryan: “There’s no more contestants for our Whose Line is it Anyway Cro-Magnon show..”
Suddenly, Colin bounds in with his dinosaur impression. Immediately after, he hops back on the stool like nothing happened.
Karen: “There’s one left.”
Ryan, perhaps making a proto-Canada joke: “He’s, uh, going to France.”

Greg: “Interesting development there, the ancient Clive Anderson HAD a neck, and he evolved backwards…”

Once again, Greg passes it to Colin for his analysis, and Colin just says “yes”, and passes it back to Greg, who chuckles a little.

A pretty good News Report, though not as good as some of the best ones of Series 5 and 6.

Overall: This was definitely a ‘best of what was left’ episode. A few games, like Soap Opera and F&TS, just weren’t good enough for E2 or a compilation. However, there were a few, like Questions, Sports Commentators, Props and Home Shopping, that would have been great in the first episode. But nothing was truly terrific, or made a real case for going first, not even those good games I mentioned. The panelists were also pretty even, with everyone having a really nice night, and no one standing out in a bad way, though this show definitely emphasized Colin and Ryan more. Not a bad show, but not terribly spectacular either.

Show Winner: Karen
Best Performer: Colin Mochrie, for having the best moves in games tonight, and the most game wins.
Worst Performer: This is a by-default one, but Karen had the fewest amount of game wins, separated from Greg by a narrow margin. She still had a great night, but the other three outdid her.
Best Game: Honestly kinda tough, as nothing truly stood out, so I’ll go with Home Shopping.
Worst Game: Soap Opera. Just didn’t get a chance to really work.

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