This Chip episode comes from the same taping as episodes 9 and 14 of this season. Relatively good stuff, though nothing too overwhelming.
Hollywood Director: Ryan’s a criminal breaking rocks in the prison yard, Chip’s the tough prison warden who decides to frisk him because he suspects he’s carrying a concealed weapon, and then Wayne flies in on a helicopter to help Ryan escape
From Chip’s first line of dialogue, ‘HOLD ON ONE SECOND THERE, SON”, I already love his characterization, and his just-southern-enough warden
Ryan, getting up against the wall: “You’ve got nothin’ against me, warden.”
Chip, cleverly: “…I’m about to.”
Wayne enters with a very funny helicopter noise [“FIDDLY-FIDDLY-FIDDLY”]
I also love Ryan yanking Wayne back and forth once one of his engines blows
Colin: ‘…THAT WAS BAD/THAT WAS REALLY REALLY BAD
That’s my CA-RAP.”
Wayne, Ryan and Chip: ‘…OHHHHHH!”
There’s one groan from the audience, which Ryan audibly chuckles at
Ryan has some great Bob Fosse moves to start that section
The Fosse bit is really funny, and Ryan and Chip have some good musical moves, before:
Wayne comes in with the helicopter noise, rhythmically, from backstage
Chip, aloof but sung: “WHAT’S THAT NOIIIISE?”
[I’ve always laughed at that]
The Cheesy 70s Porn style also works- Chip comes in to dated 70s porn music
Chip: “Yeah, I heard some of your rocks were broken…”
Ryan: “I guess you want me up against the wall again…”
Chip: “Well, that’s the title of the movie, so you better do it.”
[Ryan Stiles IS…Up Against the Wall. A big hit in Greece, I’m told]
Wayne, ringing the doorbell: “Fudda-dudda-dudda?”
I LOVE THIS. It’s gone from being an actual helicopter impression to just a casual saying of ‘Fudda-dudda-dudda?’. So damn silly
The Stomp one is pretty genius, as all three get into a really good rhythm while doing the same story beats. Something like this is why Director was made- same beats, different style. This is pretty much one of the more traditional Director playings, and I think it should be a standard for people trying to teach this game
Drew: “Wonder how many guys are gonna use that as pick up lines to their wives this week. Fudda-Dudda-Dudda!”
Sound Effects: Ryan is an explorer and Colin is a beautiful, feisty research scientist, they’re on an expedition down a mighty river in Africa to capture King Kong
I don’t give Drew enough credit as a fan of old-school comedy, so here’s a joke of his that I love. These are Cheryl and Sally:
Drew: “Sally, do you own a little bird named Tweety?”
THAT IS SPOT ON. TOO DAMN ACCURATE, DREW. I usually can take-or-leave Drew’s offhandedness, but that is too damn good. Even she gets a kick out of that.
Cheryl: “Easy on my mother!”
Drew: “I’m sorry, she has a remarkable resemblance!”
Ryan just immediately turns away from Drew, not wanting to admit how right he is.
Colin drops at the mention of playing a “beautiful, feisty research scientist”
Colin, nearly foreshadowing the last taping of S4: “Feisty!”
Colin, to start: “I’M FIESTY.”
Fun start, as neither SFX lady can do a very good raft-inflating noise
Colin: “Why don’t we use the canoe?”
Then, as they drop the canoe in the water, both ladies do a unified “SPLOOSH”
Ryan and Colin look kinda impressed
Colin: “This is my first time on Sploosh River”
Ryan gets into the canoe
Ryan: “I get the padded seat!”
In response to some ‘GUN…GUN….GUN…” sounds
Ryan: “HE’S COMIN’…AND HE’S GOT A GUN!”
After some spirited but dull Kong noises
Ryan: “He seems mildly agitated!”
Colin: “I think he has a really bad cold!”
Cheryl, in response, sneezes. Ryan and Colin try to wipe it off. That’s a great use of response improv, using an offhanded joke and taking it
Colin tries shooting Kong numerous times, but Cheryl doesn’t make any gun noises. Frantically, Colin just starts beating him down with the gun, which is such a silly move.
An alright SFX, but both ladies were really excited, and doing a nice job. Not a lot of jokes to take from there.
Drew: “Hey, Laura Hall has a new album out. 74 minutes on a CD of NOTHIN BUT HOEDOWN.”
Newsflash: Ryan and Chip in the studio, Colin in the field in front of Fear Factor contestants being covered in bugs
Obviously the audience is not happy with this one
Colin: “…as you can see, there’s a lot of negative reaction to what’s happening around me.”
So far there’s not much to this one other than screaming audience members
Chip, on a lady swallowing shellfish: “I’VE HEARD OF CRABS, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS”
They cut to the audience to see people wincing. So a 360 from the Simmons cutaways
Colin: “…it actually reminds me of a date I once had”
Ryan: “…I’m afraid to ask you another question because if I open my mouth I might VOMIT.”
Colin, to Drew, straight-faced: “…I have a feeling it’s something disgusting.”
Colin: “I’m gonna say it’s…worms…fornicating with party hats”
Not a great Newsflash. Ryan sums it up: “best thing was watching the audience during that, they were like ‘AAGH…DAAAAAGHHH…”
Colin – Angry about the size of his feet
Ryan – His zipper doesn’t work
Wayne – In love with Chip
Glad they played this more often in S4.
Drew accidentally refers to Chip as ‘Chimp’ in the intros
Chip’s immediate response:
For Colin, someone yells out ‘HEMORRHOIDS’
Drew, immediately: “NO”
Colin, entering: “Gimme a drink there, CHIMP.”
Colin’s angry feet song is great, as his angry songs are usually really good in this game.
“I’m filled with such anger, believe me, I’m not lyin
My feet are even bigger than the guy you know as Ryan”
[I love the ‘YOU KNOW’ as Ryan bit. Does he have a different name we don’t know about?]
Ryan immediately shakes his head back at the seats
Chip’s lyricism is immediately evident:
“It’s really weird, how this guy moves
They’re barely feet I mean, they’re really more like hooves
I know you’re angry, and so annoyed
But hey, at least you don’t have hemorrhoids.”
Drew: “…tried to avoid that word being mentioned, but that’s okay…”
Ryan, entering: “Hey, can you smoke in this bar?”
Chip: “Only if you’re on fire!”
THAT’S A MUPPETS JOKE IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE.
Ryan: “My zipper’s broken, I think I need a lock
Lucky right now I have it tucked in my sock.”
Of course. Chip even takes a measure to recover
Chip: “I heard your problem, you sang it in a song
I heard your solution, your socks must be very long”
He stumbles a bit, but gets to his punchline: “Could be worse, you could get circumsized”
Wayne: [locks door]
I know he just did this for Brad, but…he’s still good at this
Chip: “I think *I* need the drink.”
Wayne’s song to Chip is very cute, and well done by him
“In my head, if I could bite you I could take a little nip
Because I’m the chocolate, and your the Chip!”
Chip: “There’s one thing that I’m saying to you, boy
Right now, Wayne…CHIP’S AHOY!” [darts offstage]
A really good Bartender. I put it slightly below the 3×39 playing, just because I prefer that ‘in love with the bartender’ one to this one, but the Colin and Ryan ones here are great, and Chip’s an excellent bartender as the gig calls for his superior lyricism.
COLIN GETS TO SIT OUT A HOEDOWN. NOBODY CAN BELIEVE IT, NOT EVEN COLIN. As is custom in occasions where Colin or Ryan sit out a Hoedown, Chip takes their place in the lineup.
Wayne’s punchline is a bad kryptonite pun.
Drew’s is clever, as he talks about how the ladies find Superman irresistible, but “when he makes love to them, he’s faster than a train”
Chip’s is pretty great:
“Oh, Colin does remember all the time he spent
Wishing he were Superman, or at least Clark Kent
He waited all his life, he waited for that day
But just like Superman, his hair was up, up and away!”
Of course, a solid Colin burn, as usual for contemporary Chip hoedowns
Ryan: “With my x-ray vision I can do no wrong
Right now I’m looking at Drew Carey’s thong.”
A good Hoedown, but not GREAT.
Overall: A middle of the road show, but not without a great Bartender and a great Director. The producers were banking on SFX or Newsflash to become a favorite, and neither resonated with me. Hoedown was a good formula breaker, but really only Chip’s verse stood out. Thank the gods for a strong, exemplary Director and a really good round of Bartender, as well as some ace work from Chip Esten all night, or else this one would be completely forgettable.
Show Winner: Colin
Best Performer: Chip killed it tonight. Director, Newsflash, Bartender and Hoedown all belonged to him.
Worst Performer: Ryan had a few too many lulls, honestly.
Best Game: Hollywood Director. A complete guide to playing a successful game of this.
Worst Game: Newsflash relied too much on shock value.
COMING UP NEXT: Another trip to Season 4, with a Kathy show from the Tickler taping. Generally standard game list.