Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S02E16, or Bet You Never Expected to find me in your Urine

Onto the compilations. You know the drill- I’ll be judging these games in the context of their specific tapings, and how they would have done had they made it into the episode.

Film and Theatre Styles: Sandi and Mike (two people in a car crash)
From: E11

So…this one was filmed probably after Sandi and Mike’s first F&TS, maybe due to the sadomasochism sequence (“I’ll get the plunger”) being too racy for TV? Ah well, it’s a great pairing either way.

Of the many really good suggestions people offer up, somebody goes “SCOOBY-DOO”, which cracks Mike up, leading to an okay Scooby impression (“THAT’S RIGHT!”). Adam Hills’ is still better (“…RAAGGGY?”)

Sandi, starting with great physicality: “It is NOT MY FAULT that the crash propelled you out of your car, and stuck me in mine! I don’t think you need to shout at me…especially since I’ve got my head through the sunroof, and it’s quite painful…”

War film
Sandi: “Something at nine o’clock…[realizing she’s in the wrong direction]….which is over that way, I think…”

Clive: “Agatha Christie”
Sandi: “I think I’ve discovered something that could be of great importance in the crash.”
Mike: “Yes?”
Sandi: “…..I’ve got no engine and no brakes.”

Mike, in making a point, flubs a line and tongues the rest of his sentence…breaks, and goes with it- ‘STARRING JERRY LEWIS!’
Sandi, answering the question of when she first discovered it was him: “…it was when I first met you at those speech therapy classes…”

The scene ends with a rather compassionate moment between Sandi, now a car-alien being thanks to the Sci-Fi style, embracing Mike, then going “….this could be fun, you know?”

I’d dare say that this scene was more top-to-bottom entertaining than the one we got in the taping, which had the ‘plunger’ moment and that was basically it. Either way, the Mike-Sandi F&TS would have been the highlight of the show.

Duet: Josie and Mike sing a love duet about a food processor
From: E4

This was after Mike’s Chuck Berry number and Josie’s flamenco number. Maybe this one got cut for time, because so much was being spent on Song Styles.

This number is, what else, incredibly sweet, incredibly powerful from both ends, and shows that these two were even better when they worked together. I might have even thrown this one in instead of the Song Styles, as this one was friggin’ phenomenal all-around.

Tag: Neil and Josie start, Mike and Ryan enter later
From: E8

Screen Shot 2017-11-18 at 3.20.00 PM.pngMike: “DON’T LET GO OF THAT, OR THE ELEPHANT WILL GET REALLY MAD!”

Screen Shot 2017-11-18 at 3.20.55 PM.pngNeil: “Excuse me, uh, which way is the olympic games?”
Ryan, teeth gritted: “I HAVE NO IDEA.”

Screen Shot 2017-11-18 at 3.22.15 PM.pngRyan: “Bet you never expected to find ME in your urine!”
BUZZ

Not as good as Ryan’s first round of tag, and had some lulls and references I didn’t get, but still pretty funny.

Interview: John, from the NME, interviews Paul, Peter Pan
From: E3

We see Griff and Ron heading back to their seats, so I’m guessing their Interview wasn’t even good enough for the compilations.

Paul sets this on a good path with a first answer: “It doesn’t matter how many hotel rooms I trash, or how much cocaine I shove up me nose, cause I can always fly out the window before the cops arrive.”

John: “Well, you can’t really play a stratocaster going through the sky in your nightie with an arrow in your ass, can you?”
Paul: “…No, Keith Richards did it in 1965, so…”

Perfectly alright interview, as John was able to at least TRY to collaborate, but Paul was kind of muted…possibly going back to his intense dislike for John.

Rap: Ryan, Josie, Neil and Mike rap about Veterinarians
From: E8

Ah yes, the intensely unmusical Neil Mullarkey having to do rap. Lovely.

Ryan’s was a little quick and didn’t go 100% to the beat, but was funny.

Josie: “Being a vet is lots of fun [begins to crack] sticking my hand up an animal’s bum….”

Not a particularly bad rap, as people were definitely into it, but…still not the greatest singing game for all four. They’d do better once ideas like March, Gospel and…er…Hoedown were introduced.

Props: Paul and Mike vs. Josie and Tony
From: E15

Screen Shot 2017-11-18 at 3.50.00 PM.pngTony: “…hello, do you have an unwanted incontinent elder relative?”

Screen Shot 2017-11-18 at 3.51.28 PM.pngTony: “………HELLO, I’M A MAN WITH A SHOPPING BASKET ON MY HEAD…”
He and Josie break halfway through that one

And, as usual
Josie: “Hello, I’m Esther Rantzen”
Tony: [vomits into prop]

Really nice round, as both pairings were in great moods. Could have used this with the leftover time from Authors.

Song Styles: Josie sings a hymn about a fish slice
From: E13

I think they did this one just to have an extra if the love ballad was too long for air.

This song was still really good, and on the same par as the Love Ballad, which must have made the editors torn when one had to make air. Great rhymes here, too.

Party Quirks: Sandi hosts
Tony: is slowly inflating
Ryan: does everything twiceJohn: a Roman emperor
from: E5

Another playing from this taping? I do agree that the one that made air was a bit too truncated thanks to Clive, but…why didn’t this one make it, then?

Ryan immediately is a champ at this game, by going right into his quirk, pausing as Sandi takes a guess (“there must be an echo in here”), and then continuing as if nothing’s been said.

Again, Sandi is great at guessing. It’d still take her a while to figure out how to interact with everyone.

John, ONCE AGAIN, is a bit too talky in his quirk, but it’s a nice enough game, arguably more of a standard playing than the other one.

Film Dub: Arthur asks Sandi on a date
From: E11

Again, there was a Film Dub in this taping, and it wasn’t good, so…why didn’t THIS one make it in?

(Also, a note that this movie, featuring the hairy gentleman, has been used in a few US WL film dubs)

This one is funnier than the other one, because Sandi sets up a ‘here’s what I want you to do’…and then her character doesn’t talk for a little while, and the guy rests his head on her hand. It’s the kind of film-scene dissonance that’s actually really funny, because of how the performers are reacting to it.

Sandi: “The way your hands are carpeted are just how I want the front one done.”

Again, better than the other one, funnier than the other one, even if Arthur’s still not great at this game.

American Musical- Mike, Josie, Tony and Greg- driving a car, getting up in the morning, and skiing
From: E1

Once again, this is another game that was played in the episode, so…let’s see why this one didn’t make it in.

The opening segment, with Mike and Josie, is actually fantastic, and flows seamlessly throughout, almost as if it was written.

And then, of course, Tony enters and does a variant of his usual dancing character, i.e. “Hi, I’m Ralph, the dancing ski instructor!”

Greg enters and powers the scene to its second segment, which proves he was able to carry a scene early on. It’s a bit odd that they progress to part 2 with all four people there, but it works well because they all have an idea of what they’re doing.

This scene actually has a great ending, with Mike, Josie and Tony skiing wonderfully…and then Greg runs back into the scene and crashes over them. Cherry on top of a scene that would have done great in the taping, possibly in place of the musical we got in that taping.

Best Performer: Mike McShane, barely edging out Sandi Toksvig for having a ton of great games over the course of the night.
Worst Performer: John Sessions, for slowing down the momentum of his games.
Best Game: Film and Theatre Styles, for rivaling the already awesome one we got in that episode, and barely edging out Musical.
Worst Game: Rap, by default, as no games in this were truly bad.

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QI Watchdown: I8 (Inequality), or How About Some Marrowing?

From an episode literally about smashing ewoks into a lake of farts to a more cultured, sophisticated QI, featuring Clive Anderson and Sandi Toksvig, a pairing made famous when one was calling the other short, and the other was calling the first one bald. And in the other corner, we have German comedian Henning Wehn. This should definitely be different from E7.

Stephen: “Now, tonight’s show is about inattention…and ineptitude. Alan, what is tonight’s show about?”
Alan, caught off-guard: “…inattention and ineptitude.”
KLAXON. RIGHT OFF THE BAT.

Stephen announces that this show will be about unfairness, so something will be fair…so he starts the show by announcing that Sandi has won with 54.

I love that Henning’s buzzer is a high-pitched ‘DON’T MENTION ZE VAAAR’. I’m half expecting Sean Lock to pop out and start miming machine gun fire.

Right off the bat, Sandi gets a klaxon by saying that a statue, marked as ‘the puritan’, is of…a puritan.
Alan: “THAT is unfair..”

Stephen reassures Sandi that “It doesn’t matter, because you’ve already won.”
Sandi: “You know, I’m quite relaxed about the whole show…”

With Henning’s first line, I already like him: “Puritans, they regarded luxury as sinful, didn’t they? So some of them set off for America, and the others opened B&Bs in Britain.”

Screen Shot 2017-09-12 at 12.36.38 AM.pngAlan: “In this painting, did that Native there…did he bring that tree, to hide behind?”

Stephen says that a man in 1600s Connecticut was put to death for ‘lying with a beast’, or in this case a local pig.
Clive, putting it together: “He laid with a pig…”
Sandi: “Did George have his end away with a piece of pork?”
Clive: “No, he fancied a bit of crackling, that’s all…”

Stephen says the pig was brought on trial, and both the pig and George were executed.
Sandi: “Did the pig just shyly look at George in a kind of…’I remember that night’ way?”
Alan: “The pig came in and said ‘THAT BASTARD! HE NEVER *RANG*…HE JUST *USED* ME!”

Sandi: “Did you know that in Alabama, it is illegal to wear a fake mustache in church THAT CAUSES LAUGHTER.”
Clive, who is KILLING IT tonight: “they nabbed Groucho Marx on that one…”

(By the way, we’re 11 minutes in, and Henning’s said one thing. Quiet fellow, but funny when he does talk.)

Alan talks of a radio interview with an actress who’d been playing Lara Croft (after Jolie…and before Vikander?)
Alan: “Cut a long story short, they airbrushed her nipples out of the poster. Her nipples were showing through her costume…”
Clive: “But this was RADIO…”

Sandi tells an anecdote about doing a sitcom with ‘the lovely Mike McShane’. With Sandi and Clive in the same room. Man, this reminds me of a watchdown I should be doing fairly soon…

Sandi: “Mike was playing a sort of sex expert, and we were figuring out what would be in his apartment, and he would have a coat rack made entirely of penises. And this went to the Channel 4 lawyers, who said ‘yes, well you can have the penises, just as long as they’re not erect.’, and I said ‘…well, how will it work as a coat-rack, then…”
The panel spends about 15 seconds laughing at this, as Stephen tries to demonstrate how to hang a coat on a bunch of flaccid penises.
Sandi, after the laughter subsides: “…not my specialist area, but nevertheless…”

Stephen, in talking of the prince of Wales, reminds the audience that it’s only a recent development that child abuse has become frowned upon, and that it’s now illegal.
Sandi: “IT IS??? [cringes] Just on the way here, a small urchin annoyed me…”

Stephen has a snafu about Sarah Ferguson: “As that would the day that she would be marrowing- sorry, marrying…or, MARROWING Prince Andrew.”
Alan: “She loved marrowing Prince Andrew”
Sandi: “I think marrowing is illegal now.”
Clive: “Now, that’s a great phrase. ‘Well, then, how about some marrowing!”

Sandi, summing up the show so far: “D’you know…this is the most fun a Danish person has had with a German since 1945…”
Henning, pressing his buzzer: “DON’T MENTION ZE VAAAR!’

Henning has a very nice rant about how British people are so entitled about a war that they were too young to fight in, and you can tell he’s very passionate and very enthusiastic, but he’s not finding a ton to relate to in terms of the questions tonight.

Stephen talks of the train companies’ strategy of making the people on the third class cars look dirty so people would pay for 1st class.
Clive: “DON’T SAY THIS OUT LOUD…because i’m sure Ryanair will have an idea…”

Stephen explains how weird it is to here a German talking about cricketer terms, such as a ‘Yorker’.
Henning: “What’s a googly, then?”
Stephen, knowing what’s coming, cracks up: “A googly is, uh…”
KLAXON.

Sandi talks of a cricket game on St. Helena, “and they were playing on a pitch which was by a cliff edge, and the gentleman ran back to catch the ball…and DID catch it, and then fell unfortunately. It was put down as “caught [dead]”

Stephen talks of Oakland Raiders defender Lester Hayes, who covered his hands in ‘Stick-Em’. As the son of a Raiders fan, I’ve heard this one a few times before.

ANNNND THEN, Stephen talks of 3-foot-5-inch pinch hitter Eddie Gaedel of the St. Louis Browns, another one I’ve heard about.

Henning, after his ‘DON’T MENTION ZE VAAAAR’ buzzer sounds: “…ah, I forgot about dat…”
Clive: “We haven’t…”

On why the lepers were given bells:
Stephen: “It was to attract people, to give them arms…No, NOT ‘GIVE THEM ARMS’ IN THAT SENSE…”

Stephen: “I mean, most of us are unlikely to catch leprosy even if…even if we LICK a leper..”
Sandi: “Now THERE’S a game show…”
Clive: “Why do I see Noel Edmunds presenting that?”

Overall: A merely alright show, though, as it’s Series I, better than most merely alright QIs that have been. My main gripe is that the panelists weren’t exactly unified. Sandi would tell her various interesting stories, Alan would make cracks about the behind-screen paintings, and Henning would occasionally say something relevant and funny. The only person who truly worked on connecting and making jokes was Clive Anderson, and sadly this is one of Clive’s last QIs. I always enjoyed how different Clive was here than he was as the strict, stoic disciplinarian on Whose Line.

MVP: Clive
Best Guest: Sandi
Show Winner: Sandi
Best QI Fact: The dirty third class
Best Runner: mentioning ze war.

QI Watchdown: G14 (Greeks)

Because there’s such an emphasis on mixing semi-regs with newcomers, there aren’t a ton of repeat panel combinations on QI, but tonight is a combination we have seen before, way back in Series B, in the Bombs episode, which was one of the funniest, in my opinion, that series.

Now, Clive Anderson, Rich Hall and Phill Jupitus, as the former two were beginning to phase out of their QI semi-reg days, reunite for one more episode, this one concerning Greece.

Phill, on Stephen’s question about wealthy Athenians purchasing ships: “Well, if you were rich, did you have to-”
He then realizes there is indeed a Rich sitting next to him, and a golden opportunity.
Phill: “Not if you were Rich, because that would…Have you ever funded the greek navy?”
Rich: “I have never funded the Greek navy, not to my knowledge, no, but if history has taught us anything, it’s that I should’ve.”

Stephen reveals the origin of a Roman orgy came to describing a dinner party.
Rich: “There was also stuff for kids, at an orgy. It wasn’t all just adults. What, a petting zoo?”

Stephen: “What else do we know about the Spartans?”
Alan: “They were really good in that film, 300. Very erotic. Quite camp, actually.”
Stephen: “Very camp. Oddly enough, it could have been much camper, because in the actual historical fact, those 300 spartans were accompanied by 700 thespians!”
Phill: “LET’S DO THE SHOW HERE!!”

Stephen describes how the Spartans beat the Athenians, how they weren’t in favor of math, science, the arts, and just in favor of war, how much of a travesty that was.
Stephen: “It’s a bit like if the Klingons beat the Vulcans, in the world of Star Trek.”
Alan: “That would be AWFUL.”

Stephen: “Do you know the word Laconic?”
Phill: “I DUNNO! IS IT FROM *STAR TREK*?”

Stephen: “Athens sent a message to Sparta, they said “if we beat you, we will not spare your children, we will destroy your civilization, we will kill everybody, we will spare no one.” The Spartans sent back a one-word reply.”
Alan: “Bothered.”
Stephen: “No. Similar…”

Stephen: “He won the gold medal for poetry.”
Phill, not buying it: “SSSHHHUT UP…”
Stephen: “OH, YOU THINK THAT’S WEIRD? All the way up to 1948, there was a gold medal for town planning in the Olympics.”
Clive: “Won by Milton Keynes.”
Stephen: “LOST by Milton Keynes, you would imagine…”

Stephen mentions that sculpture was also an early Olympic competition.
Phill: ‘AND LOOK AT HIM GO! THE YOUNGER GREEK’S MALLET IS FLYING!”

Stephen: “Who knows what Olympic Gold Medals are made of…”
[silence for give seconds]
Alan: “They might be…partially…”
Clive: “WE’VE ALL BEEN ON THIS PROGRAM BEFORE…”

Eventually Alan just says “gold, they’re made of gold.”
Stephen: “OH, BLESS YOU…”
KLAXON
Phill: “Hang on, I think they might have another one in there…CHOCOLATE!”
KLAXON

Clive: “Why are they so big. Like, they used to be smaller-”
Phill, looking at the ones on the behind-screen: “THEY’RE NOT ACTUAL SIZE, CLIVE.”

Stephen: ‘If it left a mark, it wasn’t gold.”
Phill, over-serious version of what Stephen just said: “and if you were eating lead, you would…DIE.”
Alan, remembering an old QI fact: “But there’s no lead in pencils…”

Alan, on Greek plate-throwing: “I can remember when I was on holiday, but there were too restaurants, one with plate throwing, and one there wasn’t.”
Clive: “Camden, then…”
Alan: “It was the main choice you made of an evening. Plate-throwing or not-plate-throwing? And you sit in the quiet one, having a nice quiet meal, and about half-ten you can hear them kick off..”

Stephen: “Nowadays it tends to be something softer…”
Alan, serious: “Women.”
Stephen literally has to stop to compose himself. It’s ridiculous.
Stephen: “I don’t even know where to begin with that one.”
Alan: “Obviously not the best women, the second…”
And then he mimes throwing a woman across the room, which made me laugh hard.

Stephen: ‘Because I can say that Alan is coming in last.”
Alan: “It’s one of my best features…”

Overall: Fairly strong show with great moments, though the slow parts in the middle detract from its greatness a bit. Panel was on, and Phill, Rich and Clive interacted like their S2 selves, with a lot of teamwork and good gags. Alan was also really fun tonight. It was just strong in the beginning and ending, and couldn’t keep the momentum going all throughout.

MVP: Phill
Best Guest: Phill
Show Winner: Clive
Best QI Fact: Naked gym

QI Watchdown: G11 (Gifts)

After a very heated regular-friendly show, we’re now onto a slightly less heated regular-friendly show. Jimmy and Clive are here, which should be nice, but also appearing tonight is Jan Ravens, someone who’s appeared on Whose Line, Mock the Week, and countless other shows. I don’t really remember much of her material though.

All the buzzers are songs that have ‘give me’ in them. Jimmy’s is ‘Gimme All Your Lovin’ by ZZ Top, which he likes. Jan’s is ‘Give me just a little more time.’ Clive’s is ‘Gimme Gimme Gimme’ by ABBA, which he is initially confused by, but then gets REALLY into. You can even hear Jimmy laughing at this in the background. Alan’s, harkening back to his ‘new puppy’ intro, is ‘How much is that doggy in the window?’

Stephen: “What’s the most common gift sent to the US that is seized by customs?”
Jimmy, after getting momentarily distracted by his buzzer: “Mexicans?”

Clive is in a very good mood tonight, a very quizzical mood, and asks Stephen a few questions, “because you know everything.” I love Clive on the show because he’s the master of making conclusions, as well as making jokes.

So far, we haven’t heard a ton out of Jimmy, outside of his world-famous laugh, but we’ve heard a lot from Jan and Clive, which might set the tone for this show.

Stephen mentions that Obama gave Gordon Brown 25 DVDs of American Classics.
Jimmy: “Did Obama give him a copy of Nailin’ Palin?”
Stephen: “I beg your…*NAILIN’* Palin?”
Jimmy: “Yeah, Nailin’ Palin. It was a film, uh, made last year, about, uh, Sarah Palin.”
Stephen, getting it: “Oh, a porn movie…”
Jimmy: “Well, not a porn. Porn is a very subjective term. More…Gentlemen’s Special Interest.”

Clive: “Was she actually in it, or was it a looky-likey?”
Jimmy: “It was a looky-likey, BUT IT’LL DO!”

Stephen: “Name the world’s greatest cheapskate?”
Jan: “Was it…Diogenese the Cynic?”
Stephen: “Wow.”
Jimmy: “You’ve seen this show before, haven’t you? I think he’s slightly aroused!”

Stephen says that certain insects give gifts wrapped in “a balloon formed from the male’s anal secretions.”
Clive: “THAT’S JUST WHAT I WANTED, DARLING!”

Stephen: ‘Now, what would you call someone who never laughs?”
Alan, pointing towards the audience: “That bloke.”
Stephen: “You’re right…he hasn’t cracked a smile all evening.”
Alan: “He might be dead. Nudge ‘im.”

Jan is giving a lot of information and not a ton of jokes. And she’s supposed to be a comedian. Must be friends with Rory McGrath.

On a series of five famous portraits on the behind-screen.
Alan: “Bloke on the left, and bloke in the middle are the same.”
Jan: “On the left has been on a diet…”
Jimmy: “That’s an advert for the Chin Jim.”

This is an episode that is very high on facts, and is a very interesting show, but isn’t the world’s funniest, and doesn’t have as many break-down moments as the last one.

Alan tries on the helmet that was used to keep women from talking back in the day.
Stephen: “It fits you rather well…”
Alan, taking it off: “Sounds like you had an idea…”

Jimmy, after Alan’s taken it off a few times: “is it a device used for pigs when they’re constipated. I’m sure that’s what it was…”

Stephen: “What do you get when you cross a caterpillar with a butterfly.”
Alan: “A butterpillar.”
Stephen: “OHHHHHHH!
KLAXON
Man, even the joke answers are predictable.

Stephen: “Should have said the other one.”
Alan: “Oh. Caterfly”
Stephen: “GAAHHHHHH!”
KLAXON

Stephen says a man has put forward that caterpillars and butterflies are different species.
Jimmy: “Oh, okay. What he’s done there, is he’s not understood. Fair enough, because it is complicated and you might not…Was it Alan who put this forward?”

Stephen talks about a scientist who coursed electricity through a person’s body.
Jimmy: “Hang on, what year or Britain’s got Talent was that? That is a hell of an act. What, even Piers Morgan must have loved that.”

Stephen: “Where are 1% of all adults?”
Jimmy: “I imagine we can find out. We can use Google Earth, because some of them are quite big.”

Jimmy during the discussion about prisons says “i’d really like to make some sort of funny comment, but something must be done!” As it goes on, Jimmy, still serious, goes “it’s slavery by the backdoor…which is another video that I’ve got…”
Stephen even facepalms.

Jan wins. I’m not too surprised.

Overall: A slower, more fact-based episode, elevated solely by a really nice Jimmy Carr showing, and some good Clive lines. Jan was going too much for info and not enough for jokes.

MVP: Jimmy
Best Guest: Clive
Show Winner: Jan
QI Fact: Dance flies
Best Runner: Jimmy’s porn.

QI Watchdown: F8 (Fashion)

Well, we’re eight episodes into Series F and we’re JUST NOW getting to our first Rich Hall episode. That says a lot about how often he’d stop by in his later seasons. This is also a Clive episode, which is always nice, as he’s usually really funny. And this is a first appearance for another American, Reginald D. Hunter, which marks the first time we have two Americans on the same panel, a feat that wouldn’t be duplicated until Greg Proops stops by.

Trouble is a lot of people in the youtube comments section don’t seem to enjoy Reg’s performance tonight. So, I’ll try to keep an open mind.

Rich is wearing an oversized cowboy hat with one of his usual poker jackets, which is kind of hysterical. Reg has his hair in pigtails, for some reason, yet his look to the camera assures us he’s not to be fucked with. Alan is wearing a loudly fluffy hat and blue-tinted glasses, looking even more ridiculous than the black man wearing pigtails.

Clive’s buzzers is an older standards piece that seems to confuse him. Rich’s buzzer confused him (“cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion…”) at first, but once he hears the fashion part, he nods, as if to say “oh, I get it.” Reg’s is Right Said Fred’s ‘I’m too sexy’, which he says ‘you know, I can’t complain.’ Alan’s is the continuation of ‘My Old Man’s a Dustman’ from seven episodes ago, although it helps that nobody in the audience attempted a mexican wave (“NOOO!”)

Stephen talks of the Brighton soccer team’s chant “YOU’RE BETTER THAN US…YOU’RE BETTER THAN US…WE’RE CRAP WE’RE CRAP WE’RE CRAP…”

Rich: “My grandfather used to say “you’re dumber than a bag of wet mice.”

The Phillips head screwdriver joke that Rich tries has been done before, but his complete seriousness as he tells it is what makes it funny.

Stephen: “[the queen] was so cross [at King Louis cutting all his hair off] that she divorced him, although probably for other reasons as well-”
Alan: “He also cut his cock off.”

Reg’s jokes don’t always land, but, upon hearing that King Louie chose to die abstinent rather than cheat on his wife, he says “see, that leads you to believe that he had a bad sexual experience as a child…maybe he wasn’t ready yet, and said ‘maybe I just lick your elbow’…and the woman said ‘you do what you do best'”, bringing back his catchphrase.

Stephen: “What would be the worst faux-pas imaginable?”
Rich: “I’d reckon if you wore Calvin Klein to Yves St. Laurent’s funeral.”

Reg’s style of answering is very complex. He’ll go on a long story and sort of make it sound true, like a very Richard E. Grant style, only x100. His delivery isn’t great either, as he goes for the sort of stereotypical urban black guy voice. I’m not sold on him, but I’m not at the point where I absolutely despise him, either

Clive, on Wellington: “Did he say, “well look here I won this war, i can come in any trousers i’d like!”
Stephen: “You’d think that, but no. Also, that’s my catch phrase. I can cum in any trousers I’d like!”
Reg: “Yeah, i sure enjoyed that long, winding story so we could get to that.”

Alan: “What about those older gentlemen, who pull their trousers right up to their nipples? First of all, WHAT’S GOING ON *THERE*? Why don’t they stop somewhere along the way?”
Stephen: “No pleasure in life except to give themselves a wedgie every time…”
Alan: “Why don’t they pull their trousers up to right under their eyes? They’ll have an enormous fly…”

Stephen talks about the women who drew the nylon stocking line on themselves to save money.
Rich: ‘Why didn’t the male soldiers just draw pictures of trousers on themselves?”

As Stephen is interviewing Gabor in the audience about his self-righting little device, Rich yells over in his direction ‘HEY, GABOR! D’you ever think of making these into salt-and-pepper shakers?” Alan even joins in. “YEAH, C’MON! DRAGON’S DEN!”

Gabor eventually reveals that the self-writing structure was sort of trumped by turtles, who can do the same thing. Rich goes “so, do you feel like you’ve wasted your life?”
This episode may be very limited, but Rich has been taking over, just like back in Series A.

Stephen: “If life began on January 1st, and now we’re at the very end of the year, when did the dinosaurs appear?”
Alan: “Tuesday.”

Alan: (After it was revealed that ‘saurus’ was latin slang for penis) “So what’s Thesaurus, then? Is that latin?”
Stephen: “it means treasure house, or a depository, in this case of words.”
Alan: “In that case, you might refer to your backside as a thesaurus (cracks up)”
Stephen: “I’d like to think…My bottom is a treasure house? Yes, Alan. Thank you.”
Alan: “My bottom is a treasure house…really good catchphrase.”

Stephen: “Yankee Doodle put a feather in his cap to be fashionable, but why on earth did he call it macaroni?”
Rich: “Because he was dumber than a bag of wet mice.”

This anecdote about the Macaroni club is one I already knew, from Robert Wuhl’s Assume the Position show on HBO. However, this same show had a piece of information about british soldiers holding up middle fingers at the 100 years war, which QI disproved. So, as of now, Robert Wuhl is correct.

Stephen: ‘What rhymes with month?”
Alan, as per usual: “Dunth, bunth, yunth, JUNTH!”
Stephen: “This word probably isn’t very well known. It’s…sikhism, it’s what the-”
Clive: “SIKHISM DOES NOT RHYME WITH MONTH!!”
I nearly fell over laughing. Well done, Clive.

Clive: ‘So loads of Sikhs watching this program have been screaming at the television “FOR GOODNESS SAKE IT’S GRUNTH!!”

Reg has a great moment. For the Michelin Stars question, Reg guesses Paris, then buzzes in, as the Klaxon is going off. he then says “WAIT, THAT DON’T COUNT, BECAUSE I GUESSED PARIS…BEFORE I PUSHED THE BUTTON! So I get a free guess.”

Reg has another nice moment when he says ‘definitely not London’, and the klaxon goes off saying London, and there’s an entire scandal as to who actually said london, Reg keeps denying it.

Reg: “And I’m not just trying to offend London…I’m trying to offend the UK in general…”

Rich wins with a positive score, which is odd, but Rich wins a ton of these.

Clive, when he’s announced as second, exclaims “I WAS PLAYING TO LOSE!!”

Stephen even ends the episode by saying “My name is Stephen ‘My Bottom is a Treasure House’ Fry, good night.”

Overall: Not the greatest episode, but had its moments. Rich and Clive were quieter but funny. Reg was very abrasive and sort of stole his moments of spotlight, which wasn’t very nice, but he was funny at points, if a bit wrong for QI. The dynamic was definitely down, as only Clive was looking to bounce jokes off of people.

MVP: Rich
Best Guest: Clive
Show Winner: Rich
Best QI Fact: King Louis’ abstinence and haircut.

QI Watchdown: F2 (Fire & Freezing)

Well, we’re just one episode into Series F of QI, which means it’s about time for…a…Christmas…special?

(Checks schedule)

Oh, I see. Starting with this series, QI’s schedule flipped, starting the series around the end of one year, and going into the next year. So now the Christmas special is earlier in the season, rather than the last episode. Also, this is the last season before the XL demarkation line, and I’m pretty sure from here on out I’m gonna be looking at the XL episodes. More material and all that.

Tonight’s episode is, as mentioned, the Christmas special, featuring a welcome appearance from Clive Anderson, the first of TWO (!) Rob Brydon episodes this season, and a rookie appearance from someone I’ve not heard of, Dom Joly. Let’s dive in.

Dom Joly is wearing a knitted cap. On first inspection, I thought he was Craig Charles, or Jack Black.

Of course Stephen’s intro for Rob includes a Wales joke. Of course it does.

Dom’s buzzer is ‘chestnuts roasting on an open fire’, which he gives a very Jimmy Carr-ish ‘okay’ signal to Stephen. Clive’s is ‘Light my Fire’ by the Doors, which he dances around to. Rob’s is ‘Fire’ by the Crazy World of Arthur Brown, and he appreciates how obscure, and awesome, the song is. Alan’s is Sir Alan Sugar saying “Alan, you’re a bloody disgrace. You’re fired!” Best part is Stephen, acting shocked, going “ALAN, YOU’RE FIRED! OH NO!”

The question about smoke signals turns into, via Dom, a conversation about how the pope signals work. Dom even guesses the black smoke means “what, for an African pope?”

Alan: ‘Since they’ve banned smoking in the vatican, quite a lot of people hang out the window for a fag, and it causes all sorts of trouble.”
Stephen: “Who would imagine Catholic Priests hanging out for a fag, it seems so unlikely…”
Yeah, that’s one of those reasons why I love Stephen

Dom, examining the smoke signal: “Looks more like a question mark, though. Do they do grammar?”
Alan: “They should have just gotten a light aircraft that just writes words in the sky.”
Stephen, as said sky-writing appears on the behind-screen, appropriately: “What, like that?”

Rob, on smoke signals: “Was that before or after email?”
Stephen: “It’s, uh, close. They were spamming, though. You’d get endless, like (with his hands, the smoke signal), DO-YOU-WANT-A-BIG-GER-COCK?”
Rob: “I dunno how you’d get a bigger cock, slapping it around like that?” (does the same hand movements Stephen did). “I think with me it would have the opposite effect, to be honest.”

Stephen gives the panel fans to swing around in order to communicate, and flirt with each other, like smoke signals. Dom starts swinging his around, and Stephen asks Rob, booklet in hand, what Dom is saying. Rob says “I am having a fit, the tablet is in my pocket…”

Clive: “What if you’re fanning yourself because you’re really hot, but you’re really saying “HELLO, I LOVE YOU! COME OVER HERE!”
Stephen: “or ‘DO YOU SWALLOW?”
Dear God, this episode is killing me already

Stephen: ‘What happened to the Fireman’s Pole?”
Rob: “He tiled the fireman’s bathroom.”
And once again, I’m absolutely losing it.

Dom is guessing something about the Fireman’s Pole, and then goes “of course, it was probably because of Health and Safety’, and at that moment, the Klaxon goes off, saying “Health and Safety Gone Mad.” Alan is pretty amused by this exact Klaxon, and goes “It’s the new Political Correctness Gone Mad’, which is a callback to a previous Jo episode.

As they’re answering the fireman question, they’re a repeating clip of firefighters coming down poles, and it keeps looping. Alan even goes “I must say, there are a lot of firefighters…” Rob takes it further, and goes ” The driver of the fire engine is there going ‘no, I can’t go yet, I’ve gotta wait for all of ya…meanwhile, a whole family is burning to death…”

Clive, in answering a question, goes “There are vegetarian restaurants, aren’t there, where you can’t get meat…”
Stephen: “Yes, all vegetarian restaurants, I think qualify…”
Rob: “To quote the great John Cleese, ‘what’s your specialist subject, the bleeding obvious?'”

Dom brings up the fact that if clothes are urine-soaked enough, they can be flammable, and mentions that there have been many cases of flammable grannies. So, at the ‘fire-eater question’, he offers this:
“I would have thought, at a Christmas event, if a fire-eater was thinking “I haven’t showed my family yet, this skill”, and there was a urine-soaked granny…who’d been brought out of the home just for a day, for Christmas, that would probably not be the time to say “So what are you up to now…Bruno?”

Stephen: “What happens when you blow out the candles on your birthday cake?”
Alan’s buzzer: “You’re fired.”

Rob, in answering the question, quotes Richard Burton by going into his impression of him. Halfway through the quote, however, someone in the audience starts laughing, which causes him to turn that direction and go “Shut up.” He shakes his head, and says ‘You wouldn’t know a good impression if it sat on your face!”

Rob: “My father grew up on, literally, the same street as Anthony Hopkins.”
Stephen: “Very nice. (beat) In England, we live in houses.”
Even as Stephen finishes up the question, Rob is still holding this strong glare in his direction, hilariously.

Clive wins, which even seems to surprise him. Clive was probably the quietest of the four, yet he still had a pretty nice show.

An episode that’s so good, that even the stinger-joke is hilarious, involving Darth Vader on Christmas (“I know what you’re getting for Christmas, Luke!” “How do you know?” “I have felt your presents.”)

Overall: Now I see why everyone was telling me the greatness begins at Series F. That was an unbelievable episode, aided by unstoppable performances from Rob and Dom, and great teamwork courtesy of Alan and Clive. The panel was absolutely on, and Dom was actually pretty funny, which makes me sad that this is his only episode. Rob, however, was the revelation, giving most of the episode’s highlights, and continuing his QI hot streak.

MVP: Rob
Best Guest: Dom
Show Winner: Clive
Best QI Fact: Flammable Grannies

QI Watchdown: E7 (Espionage)

Tonight’s episode is sadly Vic Reeves’ last one, but thankfully has two panelists that can supplement any amount of talent, Clive Anderson and Jo Brand. Plus, this is another ‘dress-up’ theme, as all the panelists are in trench coats and mustaches.

Plus, when Stephen announces the panelists, all four are represented by disguised decoys in the audience. So, so far, pretty cool way to get into the theme.

The buzzers are all spy-related themes. Jo’s is ‘Mission Impossible.’ Clive’s is ‘Peter Gunn.’ Vic’s, much to his amusement, is ‘Inspector Gadget’. And Alan’s is just a kid going ‘I spy with my little eye…”

Stephen: “Do you know how to beat a lie-detector?”
Jo: “A spot of gentle masturbation?”

The whole conversation about clenching the anal sphincter to avoid the lie detector was hysterical, because it was just Clive fooling around with it, even saying ‘because I’m in that position just when i do this show, waiting for the next answer.’ Alan even raises his toy periscope and goes ‘HAS HE RAISED HIS SPHINCTER??’

When Stephen says that you can expose a female spy by waiting for her to give birth, Jo says “it’s not terribly efficient, time-wise.’ And then Clive goes “WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED!’ ‘Just a minute sir, I’ll get it out of her…uhh…maybe not…”

Stephen: [Muller] walked out of a bunker, and was never seen or heard from again.”
Alan: “UNTIL TONIGHT!”

Stephen, describing dead bodies: “The hair, which never goes away-”
Clive: “ha, that’s what you think!”

Stephen describing the irony that the man who discovered the invisible ink qualities of semen was Mansfield Smith-Cumming.
Alan: “My name is Cumming. Manfield Smith-Cumming.”

Stephen: “What would happen to your fingerprints if you worked in a Pineapple factory?”
Clive: “The pineapple is the only fruit to have fingerprints.”
The look Stephen gives Clive is priceless.

Stephen: “There was a period of time where all the cables on a lift in the Empire State Building had been sheared off. D’you know why that is?”
Clive: “There was a huge ape…on the outside!”

(On which country has the most tornadoes)
Alan: “You’ve got to give us a hint!”
Stephen: “Fine. We’re in it.”
Alan: “EUROPE!”
Stephen: “NO!!”

Vic has got to be one of the few contestants to play a bunch of times and win every single one of them.

Overall: An okay episode. Good theme, a few good moments, but very thin on greatness.

MVP: Clive
Best Guest: Jo
Show Winners: Clive and Vic
Best QI Fact: Semen Invisible Ink

QI Watchdown: E6 (Everything, Etc.) or ‘SMASHED BADGERS??’

This episode is the first of two Clive episodes, and the first of the final two Vic Reeves episodes. Vic, as I’ve come to recognize, is a very funny panelist, but gains a lot when he’s backed up by a great panel. Clive specializes in backing people up. Meanwhile, Jeremy Clarkson specializes in being a laughingstock of the panel. I’m sure this will all work out well enough.

All of the buzzers are songs pertaining to the word ‘everything’. Vic’s is Barry White’s ‘You’re the First, the Last, My Everything’, which he bobs along to. Clive’s is Bryan Adams’ ‘Everything I do (I do it for you)’, which he ends with a soulful, bending into a mic stand pose, which never ceases to crack me up. Stephen, after the song ends, looks at the camera and goes, ‘Sometimes there just isn’t enough vomit in the world.’

Jeremy presses his carefully, hoping he doesn’t get something horrible like Bryan Adams. Instead, he gets ‘Every Little Thing She Does is Magic’ by the Police, which Jeremy shrugs off, going ‘that’s the best one…’

Alan’s is a very over-the-top performance of ‘Everything’s Coming Up Roses’ by Ethel Merman, which goes on for a long time, and has Alan going ‘that’s my best-ever buzzer.’

The first time Alan hits his buzzer, he energetically moves around to the Merman music.

The first couple questions have, just like last episode, a lot of information and not a lot of jokes. Vic I can compromise for, because he does have a great delivery, and he makes his endless supply of info interesting enough, better than a Rory McGrath tidbit.

Jeremy tells a story about watching for foxes with Russian Night Vision goggles, saying he passed the time with a Merlot. Alan, deadpan, goes “that’s how the whole British Empire got started…”

Clive thinks of the best uses for the fainting goats: “if you were to dramatize some nineteenth century novels…but using animals…”

Vic adds on “do they faint with fear, do they” and he brings his arm up to his forehead “when they go down?”

Stephen: “Apparently the older and more experienced fainting goats often lean against things to stop themselves from falling…”
Clive: “Somebody help me up. Actually, it must be hard to become an older fainting goat, because…the wolves are generally biting your throat out.”

Clive on the jumping lumberjacks: “If you say ‘timber’, they jump. Or ‘TAMBRE!”

Stephen says the other symptom of the lumberjacks is ‘a compulsive need to repeat foreign phrases.”
Clive: ‘THEY’RE FRENCH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE! They’re ENTITLED to do that!”

I love how the audience helps Clive out with the ‘multiple choice’ question, and they’re right on it.

Stephen reveals that men are generally better at multiple choice questions than woman. Jeremy goes “alright, so we can’t multitask, drive, have sex, talk properly or anything else, BUT WE CAN CHOOSE!”

Stephen: “The most dangerous cars are green, and driven by the Chinese.”
Alan: “And called Tanks.”

I don’t know if a lot of people caught this, but on the first question of GI, Jeremy, instead of buzzing in, just goes ‘Eeeevery little thing she does is magic.’ He just sings his buzzer. How very Jeremy of him.

Stephen: ‘What is most house-dust composed of?”
Vic: “Rust.”
Stephen: “I don’t think the MAJORITY of it is rust-”
Vic: “If you live in an iron house, like me…”

As Jeremy is riling off a list of random things that might be composing dust, Clive, quietly, goes “dust mites”. Jeremy then says, still listing, ‘Smashed Badgers.’ Then the klaxon goes off, and Jeremy thinks he set it off, so he repeats, exasperated, ‘SMASHED BADGERS!?!?” And then Jeremy tries to comprehend why the klaxon went off on Dust Mites when he said smashed badgers. Eventually when he figures out it was Clive, Clive goes “NO, THE CAMERA WAS ON HIM! I SAID NOTHING!”

And then, after Stephen riles off a list of all the things that ARE in dust, varying from house to house, Jeremy goes “so no smashed badgers?”

Stephen: ‘What would you find in the middle of a pearl?”
Alan: ‘AN OYSTER!’
Stephen: “No. (comprehending) YOU’D FIND AN OYSTER IN THE MIDDLE OF A PEARL????”

Alan: “I’ve seen a giant clam.”
Jeremy: “D’you ever put your foot in one?”
Alan: No.”
Jeremy: “I did. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

Stephen: “How could a glass bottom keep you out of the army?”
Vic: “Is it Fragile Ass Syndrome?”
Dear God, I laughed WAY too hard at that, like Johnny’s “A SECOND ASS!” from last episode.

I love how Alan gets 2nd, even with -24. And Vic wins, because…he’s Vic.

Overall: An episode that started slow and definitely picked up as it went along. It helped that the panel was chatty, loose, and having a ton of fun. Clive definitely had a great day on this program, which again reminded me why he’s even better in front of the desk than behind it. Vic and Jeremy also had nice games, but Clive was way ahead.

MVP: Clive
Best Guest: Vic
Show Winner: Vic
Best QI Fact: Fainting Goats.

QI Watchdown: D5 (DEATH!)

Ooooooooh boy.

This is an episode I’ve been waiting for ever since I found out it existed. And we don’t get another one of those until Greg Proops shows up in about 7 seasons.

Tonight’s episode, which is one of the few Halloween episodes QI ever did, features two panelists who always manage to put in great performances, Clive and Sean, but also a SPECIAL GUEST STAR, who won’t appear in any other episodes, that I’m really excited to see play QI. Andy Fucking Parsons, who became one of the unabashed stars of Mock the Week once he became a regular, is on tonight. And I’m so excited.

The main titles are intermixed with Halloween noises (i.e.- screams, howling, lightning, etc.) Nice pace-setter for this one.

The set’s even dressed up, amidst fog and a coffin. This is one of the first times that they’ll actually dress up the set in honor of the theme. So, there’s smog and cobwebs and lots of little set pieces around. Don’t worry, it gets more elaborate as the series goes on.

Andy looks rather young compared to his current Mock the Week self, and this is rather refreshing. I think his delivery on MTW is really nice, and just how ridiculous the lengths of his jokes get to is quite amusing. This is the guy who spent an entire episode kidding Dara O’Briain about his boner for Konnie Huq. I’m just worried about how his delivery will adapt to QI’s formula.

The buzzers are all Halloween themed. Clive’s is the Twilight Zone theme. Sean’s is a door creaking open and a deep-throated laugh. Andy’s is dramatic music. And, of course, Alan’s is ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’ from Life of Brian, which cracked me up.

Stephen: “Given the right circumstances, the marmot is a very deadly animal, killing humans. How?”
Clive: “Lead piping in the billiard room.”

Andy has a nice answer, involving the crackers the marmots are chewing on. “Does it involve the Ritz Crackers? Do they spit on them and put them back into the packets?” Also, he still has the ‘IS IT’ inflection he’d use on MTW. (“IS IT…DARLING IS REALLY BADGER?”)

On the most cured disease:
Andy: “Is it a little niggle that you think is not too much, but will be enough to keep you off work for the rest of the week?”
His stuff is very Mock the Week-like, but still funny.

Alan: “Pregnancy?”
Clive: “Pregnancy isn’t a disease, Alan.”
Andy: “It would be if Alan got it…”

Stephen: “I’ll give you a hint. It begins with ‘D’.”
Alan (without any options): “DEATH!”

I’m laughing so hard at everybody’s inability to guess this disease. Alan yells “DO A ‘SOUNDS LIKE'” Stephen goes “it’s like ‘forgive me father for I’ve sinned…” Alan, again, reaching, goes “dinned?”

Stephen: ‘Swimming with dolphins, that’s apparently a great treatment for depression’
Sean: “Not if they reject you…”

Stephen says ‘if you promise not to hurl yourself off the set’, he’ll play some of ‘Gloomy Sunday’, saddest song in the world. Within 5 seconds of the song playing, Alan already goes ‘oh, Jesus’. Alan has no choice but to press his buzzer so the happy music can come back on.

Stephen: “I’ve just been looking at the scoreboard. Right now, the audience is winning!”

Sean has an early frontrunner for the darkest joke of the episode. When he hears how this songwriter killed himself, he says “Well, that’s a horrible mess, wouldn’t it? Seventy-year old hitting’ the pavement?” Stephen turns to him, horrified.

Ah, tonight’s runner is ‘Killer Mushroom Roulette’. The panelists have to guess which of four mushrooms is safe to eat, including one called ‘Trumpet of Death’.

Sean has the best response: “Can we try them all first?”

Andy guesses the ‘death cap’, because “It looks a bit, to me, like a penis.”
Stephen: “And you simply can’t eat a penis, can you?”
Andy: “Well, that wasn’t gonna be my logic, but yes…”

Clive jokes that the horrifying looking ‘trumpet of death’ looks like a penis.

Alan ends up getting it right by guessing Trumpet of Death, as that one isn’t lethal…which is kind of shocking.

Stephen: “What did the Nazis use the trumpets of Jericho for?”
Sean: “Was it lift music?”

Okay, I don’t know why I laughed so hard at Sean and Alan doing MC Hammer dancing, but dammit…it was worth it.

Alan: “The lowest place in England is in Norfolk”
Clive: “No, that’s not the dead sea, that’s just dead boring.”

Alan on Tutankhamen: “He looks like Tiger Woods eating a Cornetto.”

Clive brings up a great point about the marmite solution in this mostly listless GI portion. He says ‘well, wouldn’t that arise more conflict, with the pro-marmite and the anti-marmite people fighting each other in addition?”

Had it not been for the audience’s win, Andy Parsons would have won his only QI. instead, for the first time in the show’s history, the audience wins for getting 2 points and not getting a klaxon.

Overall: A very nice, very fun themed episode, with four guys in complete control, and top form. Sean probably had the best night of anybody, but Andy was wonderful as well, giving a lot of great answers and reminding everyone why he was so good on MTW. I felt like all four guys jelled well together, even if Andy, a newcomer to the group, was mixed in.

MVP: Sean
Best Guest: Andy
Show Winner: Andy (and the audience)
Best QI Fact: Marmite to the Middle East.

QI Watchdown: D2 (Discoveries)

This is a bit of a bittersweet episode tonight, as it is our final of three Arthur Smith episodes, and it’ll be sad to see him go. However, this is the first of four Vic Reeves episodes, and he’s said to be a pretty nice presence in this stretch of QI. Plus, as an added bonus, Clive’s here, and he’ll definitely bring a nice outing.

Arthur’s dressed down a bit this episode, and looks a bit older than the last time, yet i’m still very happy to see him back.

Vic Reeves…I can’t say I’ve heard his humor, but I’m told he’s a similar specimen to Arthur in terms of cerebral humorists. I mean, apparently he’s funny, but he evidently knows a lot, as he wins all four shows he competes in. So, hopefully, he’s funny as well as interesting.

Alan is introduced, following everyone fitted with chip ranks, as ‘Alan, the ship’s cat.”

All four buzzers are nautical themed. Clive’s is an ‘all hands on deck’ PO message, which seems to crack him up. Arthur’s is a foghorn; he does the right thing and says ‘sorry’. Vic is immediately depressed, as he wanted Arthur’s, and his music doesn’t make him happy. He also refers to his rank, saying ‘And I wanted to be a cockson’. To which Stephen goes ‘don’t call me son’.

Alan’s is a mew of, well, the ship’s cat.

The runner this episode is a bit confusing. Each of the four is given a patent for an object, from America. Vic’s involves a hairpiece, Clive’s involves a bra, Arthur’s involves a toilet, and Alan’s involves a stocking. Not exactly sure what this means, but they need to figure out what the patent is for by the end of the show.

A taste of Vic’s humor: “I remember it raining, one Saturday…” Sort of absurdist. Very clever.

On the question involving saccharine and the rings around uranus, Arthur goes ‘sounds like a nice night out’

Of course Alan is the one to be juvenile and push the ‘rings around uranus’ bit. He asks ‘when were the rings around Uranus discovered? Quite recently, you’d think…”

I do applaude Stephen for pronouncing Uranus the right way, in an attempt to get away from the juvenile ‘your anus’ joke. But he still falls into it.

They begin to talk about the things that were discovered by accident. Vic suggests ‘trousers. When someone accidentally fell into two drain pipes. AND PRESTO!” Man, I’m really impressed by his stuff tonight.

Great Moments in Brilliant Klaxon Planning
Stephen: “Who suffered from Shagger’s disease”
Arthur (a la Eric Idle): “I DID, KNOW WHAT I MEAN?”
(Klaxon goes off)
The second he realizes he’s got a klaxon, he raises his arms and calls for a cab. Gotta love Arthur. Sucks he’s not gonna be on the show after this one.

When it’s revealed that Charles Darwin had Shagger’s Disease, Clive asks ‘did he get it off the beagle?’, meaning the boat, but the way he says it…oh…it sounds so wrong.

Clive has a mild yet still funny joke, after Arthur describes a meal involving the beating heart of a snake, and drinking its blood. Clive goes ‘actually, I ordered the lasagna…”

Vic has another nice gag, when, of the sentence that Stephen displays on the board, and asks ‘what’s quite interesting’, he says ‘they’re all in different colors!”

So, they’ve already got one of the books this explorer guy influenced, Robinson Crusoe, and they need the other one. Alan, being Alan, guesses ‘Peter Rabbit’. Stephen’s reaction is pretty nice.

Vic, at this point, gets 20 points for being quite interesting. Now, the difference between him and someone like, oh, Rory McGrath or John Sessions, is that Vic doesn’t go out of his way to spew information. Stephen will ask a question, and Vic will say ‘this reminds me of something fascinating I do know’. Also, Vic does make his excessive knowledge interesting, rather than Rory, who makes it…excessive.

More pros for Vic: He’s ridiculously funny. When talking about Leotard, and his three inventions, they mention the somersaults, and the leotard, and then Vic goes ‘he also intended hummus. He discovered it while taking off his leotard.”

Stephen: “Name something quite interesting that kangaroos can’t do.”
Alan: “They can’t drive.”

Clive has the line of the episode, in being asked how they found out that kangaroos can’t fart. He says, in an Australian accent, “WE’VE BEEN IN THERE FOR 200 YEARS, AND NOT ONE OF THOSE DAMN KANGAROOS HAS FAAHTED!”

On the musical bottom:
Vic: “And the tune that it played when she sat down, was, Arthur?”
Arthur (confused): “We Are Not Amused?”
(Klaxon)
Vic: ‘No, what I mean, Arthur, was press yours!”
*FFFRRRRRTTTT*

Visual of the episode: Alan wiping his ass with a dog.

And now, a joke I saw coming for the whole episode. Arthur, saddled with the toupee patent, says ‘yes, I remember Clive Anderson in his thirties…”

Stephen says that Vic’s is a ‘toilet snorkel’, which can be used as a breathing device in the event of a fire. Clive’s line is the best: “So…your last moments…before the fire burns your backside off…are spent sucking in lavatory air?”

It’s not shocking that Vic gets first. It IS shocking that Alan gets 2nd. Like, who would have called that? Even Stephen’s shocked.

Overall: A very nice episode, especially after the bore that was Danger. Vic was a refreshing addition to the repertoire company, and Clive and Arthur gave great performances. I’d say this was an episode I’d watch again, even if it’s got some slow moments.

MVP: Vic
Best Guest: Arthur
Show Winner: Vic
Best QI Fact: Shagger’s disease.