Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E31, or One of Those Rare Scottish Blues Singers

I know that Season 4 is the shortest of the bulk OG WL seasons, but this one felt longer than its 31 episodes for some reason. Maybe the middle third of this season just dragged.

Either way, I’m overall pretty happy with S4 of Whose Line, despite the fact that it could never really match up to its SCORCHING first ten shows, but there are some gems all throughout, and it’s one of the last lawful, non-engineered portraits of WL at its best.

This last show of the season comes from the 100th Show taping, which we’ve already gotten one classic show and one okay show from. Here comes something closer to the latter.

Drew has a fun ‘sound guys are cutting off my mic’ gag to start the show

Let’s Make a Date: Greg must choose from Wayne, smooth rap star blindfolded and handcuffed to the bed by his new girlfriend gradually realizing the evening is going wrong, Colin, deranged window dresser whose only friends are mannequins Wayne and Ryan who he has fun undressing and dressing after hours, and Ryan, horse whisperer calming and mounting the others who he thinks are wild stallions

My first laugh of this game came right at the end of Colin moving Wayne around, where he suddenly drops his creepy demeanor and yells at the camera “THERE’S NOTHING TO SEE HERE!”

The slow way Ryan gets onto Colin and frantically begins to ride him is also pretty funny, but so far my laughs are very sparse

Heck, you can tell how dire this one is when Greg makes a Mod Squad joke…and ONLY DREW LAUGHS AT IT. Greg has to stop and go “thank you, Mr. Carey…”

Greg: “#2, all womens l-”
Colin: ‘removes one of Wayne’s shoes”
Greg, rolling with it: “…love SHOES.”

Colin, disgusted, towards Ryan: “I WISH YOU HAD GENITALIA!”

Of course, Ryan realizes Colin needs a friend…and Drew ultimately realizes what the rest of this game is about to turn into
Ryan: “This one over here looks like he needs a bit of exercise!”

Ryan goes back to riding Colin, and Colin moves Ryan’s arm to sticking straight out. Once Drew FINALLY buzzes, Ryan remarks “now I look like a Nazi…”

Drew: “Who were Wayne and Colin, and who did Ryan used to be?”

Wayne hands Greg the quirk after he guesses it, and Greg is ASTONISHED as to how long they are now, going “THERE’S TWO PARAGRAPHS OF TEXT ON THIS!”
In a future taping, Greg will remark “remember when it was just ‘a cow’?”

Greg: “…and Ryan used to be on your show AND Whose Line before he treated you like a horse!”

Not one of my favorite PQ playings. The complicated nature of a lot of the quirks, and the forced cooperation, lost me early

Drew: “That’s right, Ryan used to have TWO SHOWS…before he called me a fat horse on national TV.”
Ryan: “…I don’t think I used the words FAT HORSE…”

Narrate: Maternity Ward

Ryan’s going into this right from LMAD, waiting for Drew to clap back at him

Colin notices Ryan’s position of having his hands up and outstretched, and Colin concludes “…I caught up to him….doing something strange with a watermelon”

Ryan: “When he came out, I didn’t know which end to slap,”
AND THE RIBBING BEGINS

Colin, exacting his revenge on Ryan, slaps him on the ass. “HUH? YA LIKE THAT?”

Ryan: “I knew what he was angry about. So many years ago…I forgot to cut the cord. Couldn’t have been easy for him, traveling through life like that all these years…”

Ryan makes a ching-a-ding-ding noise after cutting the cord
Colin: “…it was then I noticed that he’d had a parrot on his shoulder the entire time he’d been talking to me.”
[Only Colin can make something like that work]

You can immediately see that Ryan has no idea what to do with this parrot information, though. He prefaces his long, scene-tying speech with “THIS IS GONNA MAKE SENSE, LISTEN TO ME.”
And Colin’s just shaking his head, knowing Ryan has no idea what he’s doing. He goes up again, and clarifies that Ryan doesn’t know what he’s doing, saying “I knew he was gonna explain EXACTLY how it all interconnected”
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[Ryan reacts very well to that]
And then Colin just…does this
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Ryan: “Sure, I can explain it…but wouldn’t it be better coming from the parrot?”
And then one ups Colin, giving him the parrot so he doesn’t have to explain anything.

There’s one more misstep to end the scene, with Colin saying “and…then he died”, and Ryan thinking he meant HE died, only for Colin to clumsily go “…no, not the…OH!”

A slightly haphazard Narrate, with some good moment, but you could tell both of them had trouble with this one.

Film Dub: Greg, Ryan and Colin are three years into an international space mission

Greg: “…AM I SICK OF LOOKING AT YOUR ASS!”

Ryan, whose character is the only one in black: “hey…new uniforms are in!”
Colin: “Hey, it’s very slimming…except on you, of course”

Ryan: “And I haven’t taken my hand out of my pocket the entire trip! Anyone wonder about that?”
Greg: “You bet we’ve been wondering. What do you do in there?”

Ryan’s character eventually pulls a cigarette out, but Colin stops him
Colin: “DON’T…WE’RE STILL IN CALIFORNIA!”

Third meh-ish scene in a row.

Greatest Hits: Songs of Retirement v2

Colin has a fun, completely appropriate gag by saying we’ll return to “Crouching Tigger Hidden Pooh in just a second”.

Ryan bitches about retirement to start the game
Colin: “well you’re years away from that…you’ll probably be fired long before then!”

Ryan: “It’s a big one…and it’s made out of chocolate”
[…an AWARD WINNING PAUSE from both of them]
Ryan, finally: “…I had a little something to drink earlier…”

Ryan has a funny move, where he introduces a protest song called “I’m moving to Florida”, then right as Laura and Linda start, you can hear him realize “…I’m not sure why that’s a protest song…”

Wayne’s Dylan impression, as usual, is pretty great, and he has some funny old person lyrics involving bunions and joints

Wayne also has a funny move where he holds the note right before the last note of the song for a long time, holding out his watch, just to keep the musicians at bay. And then when he finally hits it, they come in perfectly

Colin begins his most ambitious intro ever with “as our regular viewers know, I’m a child of the streets”, which explains why he reminds Ryan of this during the GH in E13 [“I TOLD YOU, I’M A CHILD OF THE STREETS”]
Colin eventually goes on a whole cycle of all the animals that raised him, including wolves, beavers, and a platypus, which is such a goofy comedy bit
Ryan, bringing the goofiness home: “…military brat, huh?”

Colin continues, saying he loves blues, “but you know what specific blues I like? I like those really old blues songs where you can really not understand the words at all, where the singer seems to be so old and grizzled and filled with blues and soul that…it’s more emotion than actual words?”
Ryan: “…you mean like Pat Boone?”
Colin: “NO.”
[another grade A pause]
Ryan: “…then I have no idea what you’re talking about”
Colin: “Well, I think you’re going to, once you hear the…..singing blues of…”
And right here, Colin decides he’s gonna go for broke in screwing over Wayne, and figures out the most ridiculous name for this blues singer: “…Wet Biscuit McGlee…”
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Ryan’s BARELY hanging on
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Wayne’s also pretty gone

Right here, Ryan realizes that if Colin’s gonna pimp Wayne out like this and set him up for so many ridiculous things to do, Ryan’s gonna join him: “One of those rare Scottish blues singers”
Colin: “Yeah, but you’re gonna love it…”
And right here, Colin realizes what he’s wrought, looks over at Ryan, and breaks down. “Ya won’t…” and he’s GONE. Which brings Ryan with him. It’s so rare that Colin cracks up that this is a pretty cathartic one.

Colin, recomposing: “THIS IS A VERY RARE RECORDING!”
Ryan: “wow, I’ll bet!”
Colin: “and the title of course is…..”AAACHHAWIILLEBAUGHOUGHCIJIBAHHCHH”
OH MY GOD

Wayne takes a second to compose himself, as he should, before going RIGHT IN.

And so…Wayne does an entire 12-bar blues song made up of pseudo-Scottish gibberish. And oh my god does he own it. Once Laura and Linda give him a 4-bar riff to go off, he completely nails it, so going into character and coming off as a powerful blues act. This is probably the ultimate ‘BEAT THAT’ moment, as they give Wayne the most complicated style possible, and he still does it like a pro

So…that was just insane. Like the previous playing, pretty strong, and great in terms of Ryan-Colin banter AND Wayne’s prowess. But that Wet Biscuit moment pulled this over the edge. My god. Sad that it took THIS LONG for this show to impress me, cause before this the momentum was pretty dead.

Props: Wayne and Colin vs. Ryan and Drew

Ryan’s first idea is a pretty fun one:
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Yes. The scene from Big. Amazing

And another wholesome and creative one from Ryan:
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“…..NNNNINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER…”

Colin wearing the prop like a diaper is amusing as hell

Screen Shot 2020-02-07 at 8.23.38 PM.pngWayne, a la Levi Stubbs: “SEYMOUR! FEED ME SEYMOUR!”
ACE MUSICAL THEATER REFERENCE.

A bit light, but there were some I liked in this one.

Overall: Greatest Hits. One awesome Greatest Hits round. And that is all I have to report. Everything else was forgettable. But man was that GH good.

Show Winner: Greg
Best Performer: Ryan had the best moves tonight, even including calling Drew an overweight horse and all of Props.
Worst Performer: Greg didn’t have any opportunities to stand out tonight.
Best Game: AAACHHAWIILLEBAUGHOUGHCIJIBAHHCHH
Worst Game: Film Dub went nowhere.

SEASON 4 SUPERLATIVES!
Best Episode: Episode 8. I went into this season wondering if anything in this season would be able to top the show I’d always assumed was one of the best ones here, and nothing did. Between those killer rounds of Director, Living Scenery and Helping Hands, AND that amazing tape recorder runner, this one caught fire like no other show could.
2nd Best Episode: Episode 1, another one I went in already adoring. The 100 dollar bills make this an easy favorite, as does the much-heralded round of LMAD, but I think this show has the single most successful Sound Effects round of the US series. And also Jeff Davis’ starmaking turn, a show that made the producers realize what a gem they had with this guy.
3rd Best Episode: Episode 9, left over from Season 3, and featuring a sick, broken Ryan…but with some laser-sharp running gags, some STELLAR work from Chip, some nice corduroy pants, and some insanely funny stuff all the way through.
Worst Episode: Episode 11. Lemme tell ya, this one came close, but Wet Biscuit saved it. What did E11 have? A ton of games that didn’t work, a lot of dead space, and a sole round of Whose Line that made me crack up. Even the bad shows this season still had good parts.
Episode Most Worthy of Another Look: E22. A Kathy show where the other 2 are better remembered, but there aren’t many bad games here. Also, a lot more Kathy than even the better shows from her tapings this year.
Best Taping: 401 taping. We got two goldmine shows from this taping this season, we get another one with Animal Porn next season. So much strong stuff was going on this season. Maybe it was the 100 dollar bills.
Taping We Wish We’d Seen More of: I guess this counts as a S4 show, but the 318 taping, which we saw the Ryan’s Back show from this year, we’ll see a S6 episode from, and that’ll be it. A lot couldn’t make air, and I think we all deserve to see some of it.
Best Regular: Colin Mochrie, for dominating 16 of the 31 shows, and…still being too damn good at this.
Best Fourth-Seater: Brad Sherwood, who had more ‘Best Performer’ placings than any other fourth-seater, for the umpteenth time. Never thought it’d be Brad to stand out so much.
Best Guest Star: Well, now that I can include game-spot guest stars, let’s give it to Sid Caesar in E15. The goal was to salute a TV icon, and Sid came off like a pro, being as hysterical as he was impressed by the others.
Best ‘Special Episode’: E14, the Whoopi Goldberg episode, narrowly edging out the SALUTE show by feeling like a SPECIAL EDITION, and being kinda alright.
Episodes Ranked: See my Twitter, @WLIIAWatchdown

COMING UP NEXT: Season 5 begins with a show from the last batch of LA tapings, the Whoopi Goldberg taping. If you liked her first episode, you might also like this one.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E30, or My Pack is Halfway Up My Ass

Like Season 3, the Whose Line producers stacked the tail end of the season with some good shows, and then picked a breather show to end the season with. So this one, episode 30, is the last BIG show of the season. Compared to something like the big guns from last season (the Neon Light show and the Horward show), it may seem kinda small, but this one’s a classic.

I remember back when WL was being slowly trickled onto youtube, there was a guy who uploaded full episodes of the show onto YT in 3-part heats, and he tried to do whatever landed on ABC Family, but he did requests, too. When he posted 4×30, he added the caption ‘requested by the world’. So the WL community loves this one, and we’re gonna explain why

This is a Greg show, from the same taping as E23. I liked that one, and I sure as hell love this one:

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Greg, a German insult comic, co-anchors, Wayne, girl scout selling cookies who’s possessed by the devil, does sports while Ryan, old man who takes extremely short-acting rejuvenation pill

Colin: “Our top story, a man is still in critical condition after swallowing 250,000 dollars in large bills. No change is expected.”
YES

Greg wonders if Colin’s ready to hear about more news, “but I’m afraid you can’t, because you don’t have enough HAAAIIIR to think with.”
Colin just holds a stare towards Greg

Greg, flashing back to Millionaire Show: “It reminds me of the time I invaded Poland!”
Colin: “…like I’m gonna help you…”

Greg: “I WILL DOMINATE YOU.”
Colin, chuckling: “…you’ve yet to win a war…”
Ryan, for the record, looks over at Keith to see if that line’s kosher. It apparently is.
Greg: “…and yet you drive a BMW.”

Wayne’s fantastic at doing the switch between sweet and demonic, and here the switch happens in an instant, which is fantastic

Wayne: “FOR FAR TOO LONG YOU HAVE RESISTED THE PLEASURES OF THE PEANUT BUTTER PEPPERMINT COOKIE.”

Wayne’s is just over the top enough

Greg interrupts Colin’s next sendoff by just going “have I mentioned you’re ugly?”
And as Colin tries to throw it over to Ryan, Greg keeps trying to distract and interrupt him, which is pretty amusing

Ryan holds his opening old man position for a solid 10 seconds

I do kinda love this Ryan character, and how goofily old he is, as well as the little shock he gets when he becomes younger. Then, he immediately takes off his clothes.

Then, as Ryan regresses, he looks down and shouts “…NO, DON’T GO AWAY!”

A pretty good WN. Some aspects took me away from fully loving it, but it had some great moments, like the Colin-Greg banter and Ryan’s.

Drew, to Wayne: “This is gonna sound funny, but you’re not the first girl scout I’ve seen possessed by the devil.”
Ryan, jumping on the offensive: “Those weren’t real girl scouts, those were girls you paid to PRETEND they were girl scouts…”
Drew, of course, has the ultimate comeback: “…tell your wife I said hello.”

This is all hysterical, and you can tell they’re gonna be arguing all day, so Drew calls a cease fire, saying “I love you, man.”
Colin, however, has a different idea: “HEY, COME ON, MAKE FUN OF THE BALD GUY! I’ll be your lightning rod of hate!”
This cracks everybody up. Ryan just loves that Colin described himself as a lightning rod.

Drew: “Alright, you asked for it, this next game’s for Ryan and BALDY!”

Whose Line: Dr. Frankenstein, played by Ryan, and his devoted assistant Igor, played by Colin, are trying to bring the monster to life before the mob arrives

Yep, this came DIRECTLY after WN. Ryan’s even still going “lightning rod of hate..”

Colin does a little salute when he hears he’s playing Igor.
Drew: “…also known as the lightning rod of hate…”

I love that Colin’s just jumping around with this really goofy physicality as Igor

Ryan, noticing this: “…you’re a little peppy today!”
Colin: “the plumbing’s down again!”

Then, as Ryan tries to do a dramatic line, Colin’s still moving around. Ryan has to go “STOP MOVING, IGOR”, so they can actually have a moment.

Ryan: “I’VE GOT A HUNCH YOU’RE GO- I’m sorry…”
HA
Colin does a little ‘talk to the hand’ move in response to this

Ryan: “When people ask about you, I say “IGOR, OF COURSE’…”What are you looking at, fatboy?” [cracks] Usually it’s fat people who ask me!”

Ryan: “I love you, Igor…not in that way-”
Colin: “Well, I wasn’t hoping…”
So much of this relationship hinges on Ryan and Colin’s preexisting comedy relationship, and I like that

Colin: “Well, I heard the villagers talking the other day, you know what they said? “What’s with the sheep outfit?”‘
Damn, that’s like something out of Improbable Mission
Colin: “THEY SAW ME! THEY NOTICED ME RIGHT OFF! I was the only one walking like this- BAAA!”
And he hops around like he did before

Ryan: “People will think of Frankenstein and they will say “I can’t believe it’s not butter…”

Colin throws in a ‘DA-DA-DA-DAAAA!’, which cracks up Ryan enough to get Drew to end the scene. It’s an out-of-nowhere ending, but it still sorta works.

I liked this one, even though it was hard for them to get a really scene structure going. I loved Colin’s Igor bouncing, though.

Drew: “The old Canadian disco dancing of Colin Mochrie….WAY TO GO BALDY!”
Colin: “…lightning rod, SSHHHHHHH!”
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Action Replay: On a safari, a tourist and his guide set up camp for the night when they’re confronted by a hungry lion
Greg and Wayne go first, Ryan and Colin watch

As usual, Colin notes how loud the headphone music is. Even going ‘OW!’

I also love the shots of Ryan and Colin bobbing their heads in unison
Greg: “…you guys want a drink or something?”
Drew: “if you like Pina Coladas…”

Wayne, winkingly naming who’s who: “…HELLO, GUIDE.”

Wayne gets his by something
Greg: “It’s alright, it’s not too lethal, it was just a hummingbird flying too low”
I forget how good Greg is at rationalizations. It’s a shame the producers don’t let him do actual scene work much in the US version

Greg: “THIS IS WHERE THE ELEPHANTS BATHE- ugh, they don’t just bathe!”

The difference here is that Greg actually works on doing a good physical scene for themselves, while Wayne is more trying to screw over Ryan and Colin’s scene. Wayne does a gag where he yanks his legs upward, because he knows Colin will have to replicate it

Wayne starts running from some natives
Greg: “Don’t run, they’re friendly, stop and wave to them!”
And for a moment, Wayne and Greg cheerily wave

So that alone is a pretty fun scene, and proves that Greg is actually really good at this game without just making it about Ryan and Colin’s scene

THEN, HOWEVER, Ryan and Colin get up there

Ryan frames their scene as two Broadway actors trying to do a run before opening night. Ryan uses Greg’s crawling as some choreography

Ryan, taking Colin’s neck-grabbing: “you’ve been shot by a dart from your understudy up there!”

Then, Ryan uses the crawling around to announce “CATS SHALL GO ON AS A MUSICAL!”
Colin: “MEOW. MEOW.”
[he’s just foreshadowing S5 now, isn’t he?’

Ryan instructs Colin to do the legs thing by exclaiming he’s got the wrong dancing shoes on, so he reluctantly drops to the floor and puts his legs up
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Ryan: “THESE ARE MY SHOES!”
Colin: “WHAT??”

Then, as Colin gets up, he clutches his backside and exclaims a small ‘ow!’

Colin, pointing off to the side: “OH NO! CRRRITICS!”
[I love that delivery]

As Drew buzzes, Colin’s still clutching his back, and both Wayne and Ryan check if he’s okay.

Drew even inquires:
Colin, with the best amount of calm: “…I’m fine, Drew, thank you, I’ve just lost my battery pack somewhere in the area of my buttocks.”
This itself gets some laughs, but Colin has a very casual “…it’s okay, my pack is halfway up my ass”. The eyebrow move he throws on there is pretty fun.
Ryan, like a lounge singer: “MY PACK IS HALFWAY UP MY ASS…”

Drew makes DAMN SURE Colin’s okay. Cause he already lost Ryan’s back in S3, and he doesn’t want to lose Colin’s here
Colin: “I’m fine, I’m just getting the feeling back in my legs.”
Drew: “Aw man…1000 chiropractor points to you…”

Drew: “I don’t know why I laugh when you get hurt so much…”
Colin, of course:
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Colin: “AAH, THE BALD GUY, HA HA HA…”
Drew just laughs for another few seconds, just…at everything. There’s something to be said about why it’s funnier when Colin gets hurt vs. when someone like Ryan or Jon Mangum gets hurt. Perhaps it’s just that Colin’s funnier-looking?

Drew, still going: “Ya fell down and you were like GAAAK…”
Ryan, going back to E23: “You want me to throw one of my blue shoes at him?

I really like this playing, not just because of Colin’s mishap, but because the first half was so strong and worked well enough on its own. Remember, it doesn’t HAVE to be as good in the start, because the whole joke of the game is getting Colin and Ryan to do these movements, to the point where the first half is kind of expendable. Yet Greg and Wayne, with emphasis on Greg, did enough here to make the first scene strong enough that the game was enjoyable the whole way through, which is tough for Action Replay. Good stuff.

Scenes from a Hat:

The cut from laughing Drew in AR to SFAH is very unnatural.

Similar to last show: “Versions of hell other than eternal flames”
Ryan: “That’s a thousand points, IT’S TIME FOR HOEDOWN.”
YES

Colin: “LET’S HEAR THAT YENTL SOUNDTRACK ONE MORE TIME.”
BUZZ
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Greg: “Mississippi…I’m still in Mississippi…”
Audience: “AAWWW..”
Greg: “OHHHHHHH!”
Wayne: “…Mississippi, I’M still in Mississippi…”
Second show in a row where Wayne’s repurposed a joke that didn’t get response

Famous Film Scenes As Performed By Cartoon Characters:
Colin, as Elmer Fudd: “FEELING WUCKY PUNK?…”
Ryan, as Scooby Doo: “RRRRI’M SPARTACUS!”
Colin, as Snagglepuss: “ROSEBUD, EVEN.”
This one is so ridiculous that everyone needs to take a moment to laugh at it. Drew has a full on ‘haw haw haw’ laugh at this, and Wayne has to pull a Hugh Dennis and stop his suggestion before he cracks up too much

The “if morning show hosts acted like most people did in the morning” one is kinda weak, though I liked Ryan giving Colin, as a prostitute, cab fare home

We also get part two of ‘What the Whose Line casts say to their therapist”
Greg: “No one knows, it’s actually a bald pate. It’s just makeup, and yet they make fun of me NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AFTER NIGHT.”
And Greg exits with Colin’s dinosaur impression

Colin, on a similar note: “ah, it doesn’t really bother me, it’s all about penis envy…”

Drew: “Announcements that tend to ruin parties.”
Ryan: “I’M GAS FREE!”
Greg: “EVERYBODY, IT’S TIME TO COAT COLIN IN CRISCO!”
I love the little cutaway to Colin, who just sort of shrugs weakly.
Ryan: “…DREW’S HERE, DREW’S HERE!”

A refreshingly strong SFAH. Lots of fun stuff from all corners. Also, I feel like this might have aired before Action Replay

Hoedown: Hockey Player

Wayne, cracking: “where else can you do a job where you’re missing teeth?”

Wayne has a punchline about riding naked on a zamboni, which Colin PHYSICALLY REACTS TO. I sense Wayne took his rhyme. Colin even runs back towards the seats. Oh, man

Drew has a very easy ‘what the puck’ punchline.

Colin does something more genius than anyone could have imagined: he does most of his hoedown speaking without having any audible dialogue come out, so for like 3 and a half verses he’s just mouthing words, which is funny enough.
Then halfway through his last line, he feels around his butt, smiles, and goes “My Battery Pack!”
The whole place LOVES THIS, and it’s such a fun move.

[Brief digression, but somebody on youtube doctored this clip back in the day to give us a taste of what Colin was actually saying, and instead threw in 3/4ths of Colin’s plastic surgery hoedown from S3:
“My plastic surgeon gave me a face that is so new
In fact they even put in a hair transplant, too
Boy it was so horrible, the people made a crack
Because they got all the hair from” “My battery pack!”
Honestly, one of the most genius YT shops of the early WL era, before the Seed made everything too accessible]

Ryan has an alright one about showing up pantsless, and “I guess I look funny with a puck stuck in my crease.”

An alright Hoedown, but Colin’s verse might be one of the most epic Hoedown moves in a while.

Overall: Like the last few shows, the presence of a strong runner does not guarantee an unstoppable show. This one had great games, and Action Replay and SFAH were both pretty fantastic. And I can say with certainty that this one-upped E23, despite the blue shoes. But it wasn’t perfect, and a few games, like Hoedown, Whose Line and WN, were just a few notches away from great for me. WN is the best of the three because there wasn’t a ton of dropoff in quality, and it jumpstarted the whole banter runner. But the other two just didn’t stack up to the high quality of those core games, which is sad for a beloved show like this, especially in a season where the biggest shows are ones without any shows that are even remotely okay. This is still a classic though, and I’ll rank it above E27, which I also noted was lacking in quality across the board.

The bulk of this show, especially Action Replay, the desk bits, and most of SFAH, had me laughing very hard, and was a picture of a show that just kept rolling despite Colin being randomly in pain. And even the meh games had fun moments, like Colin’s dancing and his Hoedown verse. So while I agree it’s a classic, it still can’t compare to some of the heights of earlier this season.

Show Winner: Greg
Best Performer: Can’t not give it to Colin. The man was in peak form all night, even while dealing with battery pack-induced pain.
Worst Performer: Wayne, once again, was outshone by the improv-friendly performers
Best Game: Action Replay, man. Possibly the best playing to date.
Worst Game: Hoedown. Without Colin’s verse, that’s a dire-ass game tonight.

COMING UP NEXT: We end Season 4 with one more dispatch from the 100th episode taping, and one of the most deliberately complicated GH rounds ever.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E26, or I’m Talking About Cuba, Colin..

After a good stretch of middling-to-okay shows, NOW Season 4 finally begins to kick into high gear again

This Greg Proops show is the first episode of a new taping of his. There’s a rather famous S5 episode from this taping involving a lowbrow joke from Colin, but here we have an equally-famous episode that’s known, really, for one game. And my what a game it is.

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Greg, the dominatrix Colin has hired for the evening, co-anchors, Wayne, outraged secretary desperate to find out who left a photocopy of their butt in her in tray, does sports, while Ryan, about to die, his whole life flashes before our eyes, does weather

Ryan reacting to his quirk: “…how appropriate..”

Greg, right after Colin’s opening line: “GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES.”

Greg: “WHO’S A BAD BOY.”
Colin: “I’M A DIRTY ANCHOR. I’M A DIRTY ANCHOR.”

Colin, confused: “MORE, MORE…MA’AM….SIR.”

Greg burns Colin with a cigarette
Colin: “Hey, I’m trying to cut down!”
I kind of love that Greg has turned this usually formally-structured game into a deeper character study, and we’re seeing this usually stern Colin character in a different light, which is DEFINITELY a Second City idea, as they liked to establish their trunk characters before completely deconstructing them (at least on SCTV)

Wayne: “I took this job because I thought it was a  NICE, DECENT COMPANY. I DIDN’T COME HERE TO SEE SOMEBODY’S BOOTY ALL OVER THIS PAPER.”

Wayne proves himself by picking an audience member who CLEARLY does not want to be a part of the proceedings, and then getting any other audience member out of the way and FORCING him to be a part of the scene. The poor guy looks so uncomfortable as Wayne’s sizing up his ass, but this arguably works

And, as this is Season 4, Wayne’s eyes go to Drew eventually.
Drew, sighing:
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By the time we cut back to Colin and Greg, Greg is twisting Colin’s finger back. Greg has essentially taken over the anchor duties, which, given his character, is fine. I do love Ryan’s confusion as he starts, waiting for the audience laughter to die down a bit

Ryan’s is a usual tour-de-force, simulating birth, youth, adolescence, war [“what are we fighting for Grenada for, I don’t even want this country”], and finally…doing a Hoedown. Which gets the whole place laughing

And after the poignant ending to Ryan’s, Greg is spanking Colin. Never a dull moment.

Drew quizzes Ryan on his service in Grenada
Ryan: “Yeah, I did two tours there, a week. Not the country, the car.”

A very fun WN, and I loved how it broke from tradition and became a deconstruction, especially with Colin and Greg. The two other quirks were great.

Hats: Dating Service Videos

Wayne, in a cabbie hat: “Alright, that’ll be 12.50.”
The audience doesn’t like this at all
Wayne, amused: “FOR THE TAXI CAB RIDE. You guys are horrible!”

Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.17.56 PM.png
Colin: “No. Let me give YOU a tip…”

Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.18.33 PM.pngRyan: “If I don’t come in less than 30 minutes, I’m free”

Greg, in a bunny mask: “I’m not into protection”
Audience: […]
Drew: “…say it again? I don’t think they heard you.”
Greg, being Greg: “Oh, could no one hear me. MAYBE IT’S CAUSE OF THIS FUCKING MASK I’M WEARING.”
I love Greg lashing out at the audience during this game

Colin, Santa mask: “AT THIS POINT, I’D EVEN TAKE A HO, HO, HO.”
[this one is funny BECAUSE there’s slight muffling under the mask]

Ryan holds this for about 10 seconds:
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.21.46 PM.png
Ryan, eventually: “Oh, you can measure me, but you won’t be throwing ME back”
YES

Pretty good Hats. Eventually we’d see the second half of this, which isn’t bad

Greatest Hits: Songs of College

Annnnd here we go

On the ‘what people do when they first leave home’ suggestion, ‘College’ wins but one girl yells out ‘DRINK!’
Greg, from the back: “DRINK!”
Wayne gives a thumbs up

Colin mentions Ryan could have been smarter if he’d gone to college
Ryan: “Well, I quit high school halfway through to serve our troops in Grenada.”
I forgot that was a running gag
Ryan: “I didn’t fight, I just…served my troops”

Ryan mentions this has “50 SONGS ON 50 CDS.”
Colin: “How many CDs is that a song?”
Ryan: “well that’s-” [fails to do the math]

Ryan does one of his ‘Colin gets a segue wrong gags’ here: “What comes to mind when I say ‘Ricky Ricardo and great cigars’?”
Colin, being himself: “Oh…TAPIOCA.”
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.28.38 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.29.32 PM.png
Ryan, beginning to lose it: “….really? Why’s that?”
Colin, again not meaning  to set off a wave of laughter: “Wasn’t that his big song? ‘TAPIOOOOOOCA. TAPIOOOOOOCA.”
Ryan:
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.30.34 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.30.41 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.30.48 PM.png
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Ryan, not hiding his amusement: “…No, Colin…”
I have no idea WHY this makes him laugh so hard. Maybe it’s just the sort of thing where if you work with someone for a while, you get in each other’s heads and you know how to set them off? Whatever the case, Colin, without meaning to, sets Ryan off, as he’s gone. Before he COMPLETELY LOSES IT in a second, he is VERY GONE here. What makes it very clear is what happens next:
Ryan: “I’M TALKING ABOUT CU-” [trails off into laughter]
And then watch Colin’s face:
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.32.42 PM.png
Colin’s just thinking ‘I GOT HIM. I GOT HIM TO BREAK.’ Which is a gratifying feeling when you’re doing improv with someone. But Ryan is COMPLETELY gone.
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.33.35 PM.png

One of the best parts of this is once Ryan’s gone and laughing, Colin does this small look to the camera:
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THAT IS PRICELESS. He has no idea why Ryan lost it at THIS, but he’s not exactly complaining
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.34.43 PM.png
And he’s just watching him go again
Ryan: “I’m talking about Cuba, Coli-” [loses it again]
Colin:
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.36.13 PM.png

And it gets even better:
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.36.32 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.36.44 PM.png
This is probably the best shot. It’s the full experience. Wayne’s amused. THE ENTIRE BAND IS AMUSED. They’re all waiting for the first song, and Ryan’s peeing himself. Colin’s just trying to get him back to composure

And now Colin screws with him again:
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.37.55 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.38.01 PM.png
Colin, trying: “CUBA. It’s a SMALL ISLAND.”
Ryan, still very gone: “It is…”
And he thinks he’s good to go on, and tries looking back at camera…but he’s not. So he just weakly goes “…why don’t you tell the people about it?”
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.39.59 PM.png

Now Colin, and some offstage producer, realize it’s better to just switch to a different style and come back to Cuba, so Colin wisely takes control and says “why don’t we just leave Cuba behind for a second”
And Ryan gets back up and regains composure

Colin mentions this is a Ska number, and the audience cheers
Ryan: “…like a bunch of crows, SKAAAAAAA”
Colin, threatening him: “TAPIOCCAAAA.”
Ryan:
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.42.20 PM.png
Colin: “…no?”
[it’s like proof that Ryan’s back and it won’t set him off again, which is nice]

Wayne’s ska number is pretty damn cool, and he has the flow and tempo down

Wayne does mention: “I listen to Cuban music, I love Tapioca”, which is a nice nod

Ryan has the perfect epilogue here, asking Colin: “What comes to mind when I say Tapioca?”
Colin: “The magical country of Cuba.”
It’s such a cute ending, proving that Ryan could get past it and keep composure once they went around it for a bit. Rather than working against Ryan’s giggles, Colin worked WITH HIM, and the game has not suffered

Ryan’s cuban title, “Alma Mater, Alma Faddah”, cracks up Wayne right before he’s about to sing. Which just fits with this game
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 1.46.10 PM.png

Wayne, in his intro, does throw in a Ricky Ricardo ‘eh, eh, eh’. Possibly a tribute to Robin Williams

Wayne, once again, throws in ‘Tapioca’ as a vocal flourish late in the song. Somehow I’d forgotten how gung-ho Wayne was with this runner, using it in the songs just as a tribute to that Ryan moment, and maybe just to ensure it made air.

A GREAT Greatest Hits. I love it because it could easily be defined or marred by the opening blooper, but Colin and Wayne held on to keep Ryan composed, and made this a strong enough game on its own. Wayne’s songs are also really good here, even with the Tapioca references. Just a wholesome reminder of how good Colin and Wayne are at making their scene partner look good, even when they’re losing their cool.

Film Dub: Greg, Ryan and Colin are celebrating a special occasion

Ryan, immediately: “We’re getting divorced tomorrow and I want a special meal!”

Ryan, who’s character snaps disappointedly: “Oh, I forgot, I was gonna bring a knife to put in your back!”
Greg: “Have you tried your drink, it’s poison”

Ryan, opening a gift for Greg
Greg: “…A CENTIPEDE, HOW THOUGHTFUL!”
I love that line

I also love Colin’s character cheeringly bringing over a cake, as Colin just goes “HAPPY DIVORCE, HAPPY DIVORCE!”

Colin: “Look, the cake is burning like your love-”
Ryan: “I hope it’s made outta gun powder like I asked ya!”

I also adore Greg’s ‘FU-FOOOOF’ noise when his character blows out the candles
Colin: “Hey, maybe you shouldn’t-”
Greg: “Yes, if I’d done that while we were married, we’d still be married!”

Honestly, one of my favorite Film Dubs of the US run. All three are really in sync, and have such fun characterizations, and all get down the game of cheery malice.

Show-Stopping Number: Colin, Ryan and Wayne work in a toll booth

Well, we have a running gag, so this game makes sense

Colin: “Ya know what? I’m gonna wallpaper.”

I love the darkness of the eventual plot, where Ryan and Colin are gonna use the money they get from tolls to freshen up their booth and add wallpaper.
Ryan: “We can just scoop it up, look, I’m rich!”
Colin: “well….you’re not rich, we’re gonna use that to buy wallpaper!”
DREW, FOR SOME REASON, BUZZES HERE
COLIN THEN, FOR A BAR, JUST DANCES, SMILING. He did not think that’d be his cue line. So now he’s just thinking
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 2.02.16 PM.png
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He looks RIGHT AT DREW

Colin churns out a song about how much he loves his little toolbooth, culminating in some Busby Berkley arm-flailing
Greg and Ryan react well to this:
Screen Shot 2020-02-02 at 2.03.25 PM.png

Ryan: “It’s kinda like stealing, isn’t it?”
Colin: “HEYYYY…WE’RE GOVERNMENT.”
I love Colin

Ryan says if anyone finds out about this “you’re done for, my friend”
Colin: “What, are you gonna hurt me?”
Ryan, not even masking the late-in-the-taping feels: “…I’m too tired to hurt ya!”
BUZZ
Ryan, shaking his head, goes right into his dancing while ALSO doing an extra bar to compose himself. I’m guessing this was an early playing of this game

Ryan does his verse while at the verge of losing it again:
“I’m taking the money, but I’m not on the take
I just find it hard, to stay awake
Oh boy, I’m sleepy, I could use a mocha
…I crack up when I hear TAPIOCA!”
PERFECT

I love Wayne’s hard-nosed toolbooth inspector character, just not hearing a word from them til he checks the money

Ryan pats Colin’s pocket and makes a ‘CHING-CHING-CHING’ noise
Colin: “That’s just my….Ching collection…”
Wayne: “It appears that your Ching collection belongs to the state, and YOUR BUTT belongs to the state as well.”
Drew, who clearly was very new at this game, buzzes here as well.
Wayne, given the theme, ALSO TAKES A BAR IN BETWEEN.

Wayne’s song is pretty fun, and a good capper on the scene, ending with “your butt’s gonna be the finest ching in the penitentiary”

This is probably the best Show-Stopping Number in this run. There’s a full story, each song progresses it, it’s fucking funny, and there’s a really fun idea with stealing government money for wallpaper. That’s some Coen Brothers shit. I loved this one. And the Tapioca reference helped too

World’s Worst: Priest or Rabbi

Wayne cracks a bit at the suggestion, as he should. The addition of ‘or Rabbi’ is enough to drive this into silliness
Greg, taking that suggestion to heart: “HOLD ‘IM STEADY, I’VE HAD A DRINK!”

Drew, as Clinton: “Yes, I heard your confession, and let me tell you, I don’t think you had sex with that woman…”
Ryan: “I understand, you slept with 3 women, [stage whisper] HE SLEPT WITH THREE WOMEN”
Colin: “hmm…well, say 10 Hail Marys and the Gilligan’s Island theme”

Greg has a fun one where he’s speaking in Latin, forgets some, and just goes “…uh…ixnay on the in-say…”

Also, Wayne is LOSING IT at these. Perhaps it’s his background as a Sunday School teacher [or something like that], but he’s loving these

Drew, randomly as Jerry Lewis: “WELL HI, IF YA GIVE ME THE KNIFE FOR THE BAYBEEEE, I’LL GIVE HIM A LIL’ CUT FOR THE HEIGHT!”
BUZZ
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I think what makes it so funny is…Drew Carey has been hiding an impeccable Jerry Lewis impression from us all these years, and the sudden shock of hearing him doing a Rabbi is so ridiculous it just pulls everyone over the edge. Even Ryan’s going, in disbelief, ‘JERRY LEWIS AS THE RABBI?”
Greg snorts, leading Wayne to crack up again.
Hell, Wayne’s laughing so hard that he buzzes out Colin before he even does a joke, just to sustain composure

Ryan: “Today, I’ll be delivering the sermon as John Wayne. “IN DA BE-GINNING…”
Somehow this is NOT a reference to Multiple Personalities

SUCH a funny WW round. Even Colin had some good ones, and he’s normally quiet in this game. Just the silliness of Drew doing Jerry Lewis, or Greg doing pig-latin, and how much fun Wayne was having, drove this over the edge for me.

Overall: Was not expecting much more than GH from this one, but…once GH happened, everything became indestructible. And it wasn’t even the fault of a runner, just every game after that felt like the best playing of it either ever or in a while, and it didn’t feel light enough to just say ‘well that happened’. EVEN FILM DUB felt substantial. Even Show-Stop and World’s Worst felt good. Even HATS. And the tentpoles might be the big takeaways- WN is a deconstruction that works because of what it goes around, and what Greg brings to this game, as well as how well the rest of it goes. GH is also a deconstruction, as it obliterates the Ryan-Colin bickering and turns it into Colin understanding how broken-up Ryan is and altering the game so that he doesn’t feel horrible about cracking up in the middle of a round. Pretty much every game worked, every cast member had strong material all night, and even Drew felt like he was sinking free throws in WW.

Show Winner: Wayne
Best Performer: This was a three-way tie between Ryan, Colin and Greg, and I had to break it by asking ‘who had the smartest improv moves of the night’. And that’s obviously Colin, because of how he restructured Greatest Hits to help Ryan. But let it be known that this was Greg Proops’ best show in a while.
Worst Performer: This is what irks me. Wayne technically owned the least amount of games, but I still point to Weird Newscasters, Greatest Hits and Show-Stop as points where he did awesome work. It just sucks that he was overshadowed by people doing awesomer work, but that honestly speaks to how good this show was.
Best Game: I kinda have to go with Greatest Hits here, as it’s the classic, but there’s a ton of great games in this show.
Worst Game: Probably Hats? But in a worse show, Hats would be a highlight

COMING UP NEXT: Wellllll…it is a Brad Sherwood show, from the same taping as the very strong E17…and it’s one of the first instances on the show where we actually see the directors stop the show and censor an audience suggestion. And all I’m saying is that, with this cast, and their ability to bring back running gags, the censors should know better.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E23, or By the Way, We’re Not a Couple

Finally a new Greg taping, one that has a nice amount of cohesive material that we’ll be getting to in 7 shows, but still enough to make this one pretty  good as well.

Superheroes: Too Many Blue Shoes
Greg – Quick Rick
Ryan – Faking Injury for Sympathy Man
Colin – Captain Coward
Wayne – Show-Stopping Number Boy

Points to the audience members who thinks the crisis is ‘BLUE SHOES!’. They must have been in the studio for less than an hour and still managed to see Ryan’s shoes.

Greg: “Goodness, people are wearing blue shoes! What a fashion faux pas…unless you’re in France!”

Ryan, running on: “THEY GOT ME, THEY GOT ME!”
That is a great move

Ryan, as Faking Injury for Sympathy Man: “AH, CRAMP! IT MUST BE THESE BLUE SHOES!”

Ryan, suddenly: “oh…KIDNEY!”
He’s nailing this
Greg: “I’LL RUN AROUND THE WORLD AND GET A DOCTOR. I’M BACK.”
AS IS GREG

Colin does his usual entry line, but adds the fun line of “but I had to cheer up my shoes, they were very blue…”
Colin’s the best, man

Upon being named, Colin immediately hides underneath the piano

Wayne enters, sees Ryan’s shoes and panics. Good that they’re all playing  with the suggestion rather than just doing their normal thing

Wayne’s Show-Stopping Number is pretty fantastically performed, and he’s hitting some nice notes for early in the taping

I kinda like how Greg rationalizes that Wayne’s number made them feel good about blue shoes so it’s not a problem anymore.

Ryan, leaving, pulls his groin
Greg: “I’ll get the door for you- I’VE GOT IT.”
Ryan cracks as he exits

A pretty good Superheroes, as the crisis brought out the best in all four. Not the best with this arrangement, though

Multiple Personalities: Greg, Ryan and Wayne; a car breaks down in the forest in the middle of the night
Gas can – Richard Simmons

Map – John Wayne
Flashlight – Scooby-Doo

Ah yes, more of this game’s S4 resurgence, though WAYNE gets to play instead of Colin. Perhaps Colin couldn’t do an impression of any of these three?

Ryan bites his lip HARD when he realizes he’s holding the Richard Simmons item

Greg, with his pretty-good Scooby: “WHY ARE WE DRIVING A CAR IN THE FOREST?”
Ryan, as Simmons: “WE DON’T NEED TO FIND GAS, LET’S *PUSH* THAT CAR!”

Wayne tries his John Wayne, and you can see Colin shaking his head in the background, mostly because he doesn’t have to do his, but also because Wayne’s even much better. Wayne even repeats a word to barely remain composed.

This is a strong playing because, with the exception of Wayne’s…Wayne, everybody else can do all the impressions pretty well. Greg’s Simmons is great, Wayne’s Scooby is great, and Ryan’s John Wayne…OF COURSE is great:
Ryan: “ACCORDING TO THIS MAP WE SHOULD GO THIS-A-WAY”
And he includes the world-famous John Wayne walk

Ryan, to Greg: “Fancy dance moves make me….
Screen Shot 2020-01-31 at 2.41.02 PM.png
….NERVOUS AS WELL.”

Ryan has some very good Scooby wailing
Greg, as John Wayne: “you calm down sissy boy…”

Finally, Greg hands Ryan the map, and he still has the flashlight…so he proceeds to do the perfect amalgamation of Scooby Doo and John Wayne, doing a full Wayne line, but in Scooby-language. It’s so goddamned funny

For me, this is probably the best playing of this one. All the impressions are pretty good, everyone gets a chance to be every character, the dynamic is great, and the scene, while an afterthought, is at least explored a little more. Just a good example of how this game SHOULD be done

Drew, to Ryan: “no, seriously, it’s like you stepped in an airplane toilet and came to work..”
Ryan: “just keep signing the checks, you can say annnything you want…”
Drew: “DON’T I KNOW IT!”

Drew: “1000 points to JOHN WAYNE BRADY.”
Wayne: “I’m a big John Wayne fan”
Drew: “Hey, it was as good as any of Colin’s impressions…”
Colin is unsure how to react. The fast cut to Drew makes me think he did a ‘lightning rod of hate’ signal

Scenes from a Hat:

“Times when it would be nice to have the ability to be beamed up”
Wayne: “It’s time for my John Wayne impression…”
HA

Drew: “What really made the kids in Blair Witch  run off screaming”
Wayne, to the camera: “His shoes, THEY’RE SO BLUE!”
Colin, to the camera: “THERE’S GONNA BE A CRAPPY SEQUEL!”
YES! Blair Witch 2 was pretty awful

“What members of the Whose Line cast say to their therapists”
Ryan, perfectly summing up the gag: “…I mean, I don’t get it, it’s the color of SKY and WATER…”
Wayne: “and then he invites me over to his desk…and he says ‘HEY, YOU’RE THE WINNER’…[sobs]
I love Drew and Ryan’s reactions

“Outtakes from the Hillbilly National Theatre’s Shakespeare Festival”
Wayne does one that gets no response, and just says ‘READ A BOOK, PEOPLE!’

Greg, to Wayne: “Look, Othello, we don’t mind you moving here, I just don’t want you datin’ MY SISTER NO MORE.”

“How the Naked Fridays Policy Worked Out at your Office”
Greg, tracing a dong onto the stage: “…Colin?”
Colin, from offstage, casually: “…hi.”

Ryan, to an offstage Colin: “My boss will see you now.”
Colin, still offstage: “…well, take your finger off my dick”
Ryan:
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And he just…carries it back to Colin and throws it over his shoulder

Pretty good SFAH, though a tad light

Drew, as usual, throws his hat at the camera, WHEN SUDDENLY:
Drew: “OH SHIT!”
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Yep…for the first time, instead of ‘hitting’ a camera, he knocks the damn thing over.
Colin, who’s back at the seat, points and laughs: “Did you see that? A camera just fell”

Screen Shot 2020-01-31 at 2.58.33 PM.pngDrew: “…holy shit.”

Drew: “For the thousands of you who’ve written in, NO, COLIN AND RYAN ARE NOT A COUPLE.”
Ryan and Colin have some very awkward reactions to this, before just pointing to their wedding rings

Greatest Hits: Songs of the Doctor

Ryan: “Hi, we’ll return you to the blue shoes diaries in just a moment…”

Ryan, after Colin’s intro line: “BY THE WAY, WE’RE NOT A COUPLE.”
Colin: “…when did that happen?”
Ryan: “shutup”
YES!

Ryan intros a mambo hit: “Do you know which one I’m talking about”
Colin, not helping him: “NOT A CLUE.”

Wayne has some fun lines in the mambo number, about showing butts, and “please don’t faint, here’s my needle.”

A pretty fun, strong number overall, that ends right when Wayne wants to so he can add a quick ‘sorry’ right at the end.

The ‘Colin and Ryan broke up’ gag continues after Ryan’s fake laughing only pisses off Colin, then rebuffs Colin getting him into an intro [“don’t laugh, cause I’m not laughing with you”]

Colin has a nice move in naming the Marilyn Monroe number ‘gallstones are a girl’s worst friend’

This one has the second consecutive butt reference, as Wayne says “I’ll shoot it out my rear end”, cracking a bit

Wayne: “Understand I won’t be alone
………..I’m trying to pass a stone.”
HA
AND HERE WAYNE CRACKS

Colin, post-stumbly Wayne number: “I’m glad I didn’t go with the Seven Year Itch”

Ryan: “The BRITISH call it stadium rock.”
Colin confusedly looks at the camera here
Colin: “I wish I had a chart just so we could show”
Once Ryan reacts glumly, Colin brings back the fake-laughing

Wayne: “And every time I turn around, I TURN MY ASS TO THE DOC”
THREE! THREE BUTT REFERENCES! AH-AH-AHHHH!

Wayne seemed to have a problem with ending this one, but it was pretty good.

Solid GH, boosted by the Ryan-Colin banter and the ass references, but not much different from the norm.

Sportscasters: Ryan and Colin are two rival pizza makers trying to impress a female customer- Greg and Drew commentate

This game returns for the first time since S1. I was never a HUGE fan of this game, but ya never know

The oddest part of the reaction to the suggestion is that it shows a neutral Colin-Ryan reaction, but you can hear Ryan’s ‘huh-huh-huh’ laugh. So they must have refilmed a pickup.

Ryan has a fun move in shoving the dough over Colin’s face, while Colin cuts a hole so he can breathe

Colin shoving a pepperoni in Ryan’s ear is a very fun move, and I love Drew’s covering of it, too
Greg, blowing dust off the old Star Wars line: “I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE, That has GOT to hurt a little”

Ryan shoving Colin’s head in the oven seems like a very old-school WL move.

And, also similar to a S1 sportscasters, Colin goes right for an itchy-and-scratchy move and just cuts Ryan’s hand off.

Ryan then tries shoveling in a pie with one hand and the other nub…sort of helping
Drew: “How is he handling that rod with one hand missing?”

Drew mentions Colin’s ‘bad back injury’, which is clearly a reference to Action Replay

Instead of cutting back to Drew, we fade out on a shot of Ryan cutting Colin in half with the pizza slicer.

Honestly…I kinda enjoyed that round. It brought me back to the older eras of this game, and it was self-contained and goofy enough to work. Greg and Drew were also pretty good together.

Overall: Everything in this show was really solid, even if there were a few games that could have been bigger. I laughed at a lot of the games here, and everything really worked, as well as just feeling like a picture of a really cohesive group. Ryan had a big night, but Greg and Wayne were also nice, and Greg had a lot more opportunities than usual to shine, especially in Multiple Personalities and Sportscasters. Multiple Personalities was the highlight for me, but Superheroes, Greatest Hits and SFAH all were solid.

Show Winner: Wayne
Best Performer: Ryan had the strongest stuff in these games.
Worst Performer: Colin deferred to Ryan and the rest most of the night.
Best Game: Multiple Personalities was just a complete affirmation of its concept, which is a feeling I haven’t had about that game either in a while or ever.
Worst Game: Sportscasters brings up the rear, but it’s still a nice one.

COMING UP NEXT: For the last time, we jump into the future for a S5 Brad taping, and who better to rush a guest star episode for than Hugh Hefner and two Playmates? I can think of several. Still, this will be the first official guest star taping of the series, and I’ll detail how I’m gonna judge the guest stars AS WELL as the performers, because them wanting to be there is a big factor in this.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E13, or I Sound Like Snagglepuss

Back to the 100th episode taping we go, to dust off some new material featuring Greg. I’ve noticed that Greg’s material in S3 was noticeably a little weaker, and that either he wasn’t given enough to do or his control of scenes ended up dooming them. Thankfully, knowing how good his S4 &5 tapings are, this isn’t a trend that’ll last too long.

Also, this is a TOO HOT episode, which I’d forgotten. I guess we’re gonna find out why:

As a note, everyone’s really giggly and loose as Drew opens the show.

Press Conference: Colin is the Tin Man announcing that he and Dorothy have had a child

Colin: “I found out about 3 years ago…”

Wayne: “What d’you think about the public’s reaction to this news?”
Colin: “I say screw the public.”
Classic

Colin, about telling the Wizard: “and once that happens, a whole kafuffle…you can write that down, ‘kafuffle’…”

Wayne sneakily sets Colin up for a great pun, confirming that “you had the heart on.”
Colin: “Yeah, once I had the heart-on, it was like that.”

Colin gets this pretty early on, and you can tell because of how casually he gets through some of the questions, like adding ‘a little WD40′, and staying away from Kansas because “it’s Twister time”
Colin: “We were thinking of maybe going to Peoria.”
Wayne: “Ah, so you’ll be spending more time with your family than with hers.”
Colin: “Yeah, my family is living in an old tin shack…which used to be my grandfather.”
YES

Colin guesses the person spot-on, but initially thinks he’s announcing his engagement
Drew: “BETTER THAN THAT!”
Colin: “I’m sleepin’ with her?”

Colin guesses ‘having her child’, which Drew takes. Ryan gives him shit though: “YOU’RE having HER child?”

A pretty nice PC, though it wasn’t as outwardly funny as the Santa one.

Drew slams Colin after the game, but the audience immediately comes to his aid
Drew: “…aw, man, never make fun of the popular, funny guy..”

Hats: Dating Service Videos

Screen Shot 2020-01-12 at 2.35.50 PM.pngRyan, starting with a bang: “Care to come sit in my cock-pit?”

Screen Shot 2020-01-12 at 2.36.27 PM.pngColin, said very casually behind this mask: “…looking for a one-knight stand?”

Screen Shot 2020-01-12 at 2.37.11 PM.pngRyan: “Look at the size of this pecker…”

Screen Shot 2020-01-12 at 2.37.51 PM.pngColin has a smart move- instead of actually using it like a lollipop, he waves it around like a hypnosis item, going “you find me very atraaactiive…”
I find this even funnier seeing as Colin’s currently touring with a hypnotist for a show called Hyprov. Also, fun fact, every time you mention Hyprov, you can faintly hear distant screaming from the New England area.

Ryan returns to the pilot hat: “Now that you’re in my cockpit, d’you mind if I eject?”
HOW…THE HELL…DID *THAT* MAKE IT PAST THE CENSORS???

Ryan comes on in, ironically, a Whoopi Goldberg mask, and starts wordlessly dancing around and smacking his ass. He then leaves, shrugging, cracking a bit

Screen Shot 2020-01-12 at 2.42.43 PM.pngColin, being Canadian: “…this is my friend Gourd.”
[because it’s America, this gets sparse response]
Colin: [shakes his head, as he has nothing]
[audience laughs at this]
Colin: “…no, he’s a great pumpkin.”
[less response]
Colin: “…aaaaah, screw it.”

Ryan, drill sergeant hat: “come play on my obstacle course!
I am hung just like a horse!”
OKAY SO…’EJECT’ IS OKAY…BUT THIS ONE GETS CENSORED? Come on, fellas, you’re losing your heads!

A very funny, and very raunchy, Hats. Probably a bit more consistent than usual

Multiple Personalities: On a cruise on the SS Poseidon when it’s hit by a tidal wave and capsizes
Captain’s hat – John Wayne

Lifesaver – Liberace
Telescope – Rain Man

Greg, with telescope: “Very small wave coming, very small.”
Colin, with his bad John Wayne: “YA’VE GOT THE TELESCOPE BACKWARDS.”

Ryan, smirking through his Liberace: “I think it’s time we abandon ship. CHILDREN AND ME FIRST.”

Greg’s Rain Man is pretty damn good, for the record.

Ryan, finally getting the captain’s hat: “…WELL THEN LET’S START TA LOWER THOSE BOATS OVER THE SIDE.”

Ryan’s Wayne is working better than in previous ones: “LOOKS LIKE WE HIT A BIGGER……BERG THAN I THOUGHT.”

Greg unwittingly hands Ryan the lifesaver while he’s still doing John Wayne, so now Ryan has to do both impressions at once, which he sort of does, adding some camp inflections into his Wayne
Ryan, immediately after:
Screen Shot 2020-01-12 at 2.53.22 PM.png

Ryan hands the hat back to Colin: “You have to lead them, I haven’t got what it TAAAKES”
Colin, tries his John Wayne again: “let’s go down to the BOTTOM, which, WHEN IT TURNS OVER…”
He stops, realizing that’s nothing close to John Wayne
Colin: “…I sound like Snagglepuss.”
This cracks up Ryan, and Drew calls it here

Not a hell of a lot to this one, but still kind of amusing

Drew: “That was the best John Wayne I’ve ever heard.”
Ryan, as Snagglepuss: “…let’s make our way down to the bottom deck…”
Colin’s cracking up
Drew: “CAPSIZING EVEN!”
PFFFF
Greg: “Exit Stage Left!”

Greatest Hits: Songs of Retirement

Colin starts the game by revealing his plans to just give everything up and retire.
Ryan: “Colin, you’ve got 5 more years til you hit 65…”
Colin has a nice eyebrow move in response to this.
Ryan, recovering some goodwill: “IN CANADIAN.”

Colin brings up Destiny’s Child
Ryan: “I liked Destiny, so Destiny’s Child…”
Colin: “…you’re an idiot.”
Ryan: “Hey, Destiny’s Child, that’s not a song about birth or menopause or something, right?”
Colin: “No, that’s the name of the group!”

Colin: “What would Destiny’s Child be, do you think?”
Ryan: “I think it’d be RIP TORN.”
Perhaps the most obscure non-sequitur Ryan could think of. Colin just holds this for a while:
Screen Shot 2020-01-12 at 3.01.34 PM.png

Colin: “…sometimes I just wonder why I talk to you…”
Ryan: “Cause if ya didn’t, you wouldn’t be talking to anyone…”
Colin: “That’s right. I’d still get better answers.”
CLASSIC BANTER RIGHT HERE. CLASSIC.

Wayne’s Destiny’s Child number has some fun lyrics, and some good jokes about retirement, but the best one is “GRAB A HO! NOT ME! THIS HOE!”

Ryan starts poking Colin as a segue
Ryan: “Well, what comes to mind when I say kielbasa and accordions?”
Colin, matter of fact: “BROCCOLI.”
AMAZING
Colin: “AND ENOUGH GAS TO LIGHT A SMALL COUNTRY.”
And as Ryan keeps from laughing, Colin starts emitting very strange fart-like noises.
Ryan, very amused: “What are you doing there?
Colin: “I’m just thinking about it…”

After a line from Ryan, Colin has to wipe his face.
Ryan: “Oh, DESTINY’S CHILD doesn’t make ya spit, POLKA DOES.”

Wayne’s polka number is very fun, even if it’s a little below the Destiny’s Child one

Colin, getting back at Ryan: “I ALSO LIKE PPPETER, PPPAUL AND MARY!”
Ryan wipes his eyes and wrings out his tie

Colin’s now introing a METAL song, and Ryan knocks Colin’s head, doing a ‘king-king’ noise. Easy joke, but still funny

Colin’s Metal rhyme is classic:
“Could be heavy, could be light
Could be aluminum, could be lead
Is lead a metal? I don’t know
WO WO WO WO WO WO WO.”
Ryan: “Hey, you just rapped there!”
Colin: “I TOLD JA, I’M A CHILD OF THE STREETS.”
Screen Shot 2020-01-12 at 3.11.30 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-01-12 at 3.11.37 PM.png

Wayne’s is a very nu-metal kinda thing, like Korn, and he makes it work pretty well.

An insanely strong GH, with some top-tier Colin/Ryan banter, and some sharp work from Wayne. Hard to believe the silliest bit of this GH comes in a second playing.

World’s Worst: Self-Help Instructional Videos

Greg: “…Hah…I used to be president. Some of you might have trouble meeting the ladies..”

Drew comes back from one and nearly trips over the step

Colin, putting on a glove: “Welcome to ‘Dogs Have Prostates Too”

Wayne just buzzes out Colin before he gets to say his, which is amusing

Ryan: “Hi, I’m Drew Carey. Today we’re gonna learn HOW TO WALK BACKWARDS.”
Drew: “Hi, I’m Ryan Stiles, welcome to my lovemaking secrets tape. This tape will end in 60 seconds.”

Colin: “Oh, those frustrating banana peels. How do you get them off the banana?”
BUZZ
Colin, back again: “Oh, those frustrating gerbil skins.”

Greg: “I’m Bill, from the NRA, and it’s gun safety we-”
BOOM

After another joke, Ryan repeats the ‘how to walk backwards’ motion from before. In response, Drew just pushes him off, though I love how Ryan tries to wriggle away

Drew: “Hi, scouts, and welcome to ‘Anyone Can Masturbate’.”
NO. NO.

A pretty good World’s Worst. Ryan, of all people, had the weaker round of it though.

Overall: A mixed bag, but everything was pretty good. Greatest Hits was the best game, but even that one had some shakiness from Wayne. Multiple Personalities and Press Conference were the weaker ones, but even they had charm. Hats and World’s Worst were strong, but they were the quick-fire rounds. So…it just felt a bit disjointed, even if it was an alright show.

WAS IT TOO HOT FOR TV?: ‘Hung like a horse’ and ‘anyone can masturbate’ were censored, and yet a lot of Hats wasn’t. Maybe the compromise for letting this Hats air was giving it the Too Hot distinction? Cause ‘eject’ was DEFINITELY worthy of the moniker. So I’ll say yes to this one.

Show Winner: Wayne
Best Performer: Colin has an edge over Ryan due to WW.
Worst Performer: Greg continues to be under-edited.
Best Game: Greatest Hits was too much fun. This begins a new era of escalated Ryan-Colin banter.
Worst Game: Multiple Personalities was the most wonky in terms of improv basics.

COMING UP NEXT: We’re 13 episodes into Season 4, and only 6 episodes have actually come from Season 4 tapings. What better way to celebrate than with a SEASON 5 TAPING? What could push a taping from the just-filmed Fall 2001 sessions right to the top of the pack? Well…you know how Robin Williams gave the ratings a spike in early S3? The producers got someone else who would give ratings a bit more heft for this season as well.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E11, or Four Canadians With An Attitude

An odd leftover from S3 today, as it’s the last showing from the 301 taping [whistle on cue], and it’s rare in that there doesn’t seem to be a Drew game. So either the ones they had left weren’t usable, or the producers are dumb. It’s the latter.

Let’s Make a Date: Wayne must choose from Greg, Judge Judy, Colin, turns into a killer hamster when frightened, and Ryan, Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin on various dangerous animal encounters

Ryan is NOT HAPPY with his. He literally just chucks his card towards the desk in frustration.

Greg’s “YOU’RE OUT OF ORDER” happens before the audience knows who he is, so the title reveal is met with a GREAT reaction

Colin’s is ridiculous, as his hamster face and movements are so silly

Ryan’s immediate shrug after the audience sees who he is is proof that he’s STILL not confident in his Australian accent (not since that classic F&TS game with Josie back in UK S8)

Ryan’s Steve Irwin impression does turn out to be pretty good, and he knows where to hit the emphasis

After Colin attacks Greg: “Objection, #2 ripped my flesh”
Wayne: “Sustained.”
Greg: “Overruled!”
Wayne: “Denied”
Greg, now just trying to outsmart Wayne: “EXEMPTION!”
Wayne: “…court out of session”
YES

Wayne: “#3, what is your favorite thing in a woman?”
Ryan: “Well, besides me, I’d have to say-”
HA

Ryan tries shooting Colin with a tranquilizer…and Colin responds by just shooting Colin with a gun, which surprises Ryan

Colin, shaking his head: “I’ll give ya 100 bucks if you figure out what I am…”

Not a bad LMAD, but we’ve definitely had better recently

Newsflash: Ryan and Greg in the studio, Colin in the field in front of wrestling

Like later Newsflashes, this one gets into the rhythm of having the audience go ‘OHHH’ after every hit

Ryan, knowing more WWE than I gave him credit for: “Did that triple-preparation-H help you at all?”
This clue confuses the hell out of Colin, though

Colin: “As you can see, this was all started by four Canadians with an attitude!”

Colin: “Well words are failing me, it’s almost as if I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.”

Greg finally gives it to Colin with a ‘Stone Cold’ reference, to which Colin responds with “but I will be here, for I am a rock!”

Very okay Newsflash

Drew refers to Whose Line as ‘the Homework Alternative.’ Drew, you have no idea how right you are…

Whose Line: Colin is Beauty who’s come to the castle on a desperate mission to plead with the Beast, Ryan, who has imprisoned her father

Ryan begins the scene trying to shave, which is a nice touch

Colin pleads that he’ll do anything for his father’s freedom
Ryan: “ANYTHING?”
Colin, weighing his options and sighing: “…yeah.”

Ryan: “I see you everyday knowing I can never have you for myself, and I think …’get a load of those casbasas..”
He cracks, obviously not reading that right.
Colin: “You know, I’m just a simple cabasa farmer…”

After a few lines from Ryan, Colin looks at him, perplexed:
Colin: “How old are you?”
Ryan: “…32”
Colin: “You sound a lot older.”

Colin: “The best piece of advice he ever gave me was ‘aren’t you hot in those rubber pants’?”

Ryan has a very goofy moment, putting on a mask and dancing with a cane to ease the fright of Colin.
Colin: “…you’re kind of a lot scarier actually…”

Ryan, stumbling getting to his 2nd setup: “Why, if I could only have a woman like that…’give it a tug and see what happens…”

Then, Ryan grabs the top hat and cane again, and Colin protests. This gag is so silly that it’s working

Ryan: “I’ll live my days alone, by yourself…”
Colin, giving him shit: “…Alone by yourself?”
Ryan:
Screen Shot 2020-01-09 at 4.41.01 PM.png

Ryan: “Look, about your father, uh…well I got hungry about 3 weeks ago…”
Colin: “YA ATE POP?”
Ryan: “NOT ALL OF HIM!”
Colin: [confused expression]
Ryan: “I kept some for winter!”
THEN HE GOES BACK INTO THE HAT AND CANE DANCING. JESUS.

Colin finishes with the #1 rule to finding a man: “Spit out the gum and kiss me hard.”
Ryan: [looks at him warily]
Colin: “Come on, spit out my dad’s gums and kiss me hard!”
Ryan: “…how bout if I kiss you WITH your dad’s gums?”
Hehehehe
Drew: [has not buzzed yet]
Ryan, shaking his head: “…I guess that won’t do-”
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
Ryan: “Oh, apparently it will…”

A very underrated Whose Line, even if it took a bit to get going. Once Colin & Ryan really got the goofiness of the scene, the rest was history, and Ryan’s ‘top hat and cane’ gag did me in quite a bit.

Weird Newscasters: Greg anchors, Colin, Streaker who has bet his friends that he can get in all the camera shots, co-anchors, Wayne, Italian stud who would rather be picking up women, does sports while Ryan, Running all the legs of the Olympic 4×100 meter relay, does weather

Man, THIS game’s airing awfully late in the show

Colin running around towards all the cameras is amusing as hell

Colin’s about to send it back to Greg, but realizes a golden opportunity:
Screen Shot 2020-01-09 at 4.53.20 PM.png
“…BACK…to you!”

OF COURSE Wayne goes RIGHT TO DREW. They have to write these KNOWING he’s gonna go there.

And then Colin gets an even better idea:
Screen Shot 2020-01-09 at 4.55.16 PM.png

Wayne attempts a kiss, but Drew wisely pulls his hand right in the middle of it

Then, right when Ryan starts running, Colin starts running along with him. Ryan’s composure barely holds. The entire sequence of Colin and Ryan running ahead of each other is so well-timed.

Greg: “Stay tuned for Geppetto 2, where Geppetto moves in with a grown man he’s created.”
Drew has a nice reaction to this one

Kinda weak WN, but Colin saved it

Irish Drinking Song: Divorce

The very first taped playing of this, and you can tell because Colin and Ryan slap their legs as they get up and are so embarrassed to have to play this

There’s a vocal intro to this, where Wayne says “we finally got rid of ‘er, boys!”, and they all sorta agree. Also, this is in the original verse tone

Wayne and Greg set up that the ex-wife is a dancer
Ryan: “Naked’s what she do!”

Greg: “I wish I had money”
Colin: “Cause then I’d be so rich”
Ryan: “And then I’d never have to”
Wayne rears up to sing, the shot’s on him
Ryan: “Invite that- OHHH NEVERMIND!”
Ryan probably forgot what game he was playing, and he cracks up Greg and Wayne

Wayne: “I used to make butt-microwave toast!”
[HEY, THAT’S A REFERENCE TO 3×31!]

The last verse is about getting a new job
Greg: “And when I miss the boss man”
Colin: “I’ll rip out his heart!”

A very okay starter for this game, as they’d definitely get better.

Overall: Very meh. Only Whose Line really stood out to me, and the rest felt like S7-era rejects. Even tentpole games like LMAD and WN, while not without inspired moments, felt like that ground had been covered already. Lots of stumbly moments, and a few too-intrusive moments from Greg.

Show Winner: Ryan
Best Performer: Ryan had the funnier moments tonight, from his Croc Hunter, to his hat-and-cane dancing, to the extra verse in IDS.
Worst Performer: Greg took away from things too much in WN.
Best Game: Whose Line was a triumph.
Worst Game: Newsflash was very blah.

COMING UP NEXT: Yet another S3 leftover, this one from the multicolored Kathy taping #311, with a relatively standard game lineup.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S03E37 or Watch Out for Those Tempo Changes, Man…

In the last three episode of Season 3…the producers made some very odd decisions.

Maybe it was a move made in accordance with slim ratings or network egos, but the producers didn’t think ending the season with consecutive Season 3 tapings of varying quality would be the best idea. So they wanted to stack the end of the season with some knockout episodes. Despite, like…4×03 existing, they didn’t think many knockout episodes came from S3 tapings, so they used one great S3 show…and picked the other two from Season 4 tapings. A series of tapings that were not meant to air until fall 2001, because they’d taped while S3 was airing, and…look, the producers don’t make sense.

This episode comes from a S4 taping, one of three S4 tapings featuring Greg Proops. All three of these tapings produce goldmine moments, which is a nice showing from a fourth-seater whose shows had felt so uninspired lately. This one was billed, in show, as the 100th episode.

…it’s the 94th aired episode of the show. So Dan & Mark either can’t count or couldn’t wait 6 more shows to air this one. Either way, I get it. This one’s undoubtedly a classic, for reasons not exactly owing to the 100th show theme.

Drew: “I am pleased to announce that for the 100th episode, we’re each getting a new car.”
Ryan and Colin have big reactions to this
Drew: “Oh, wait, I’m sorry, that’s just me…”

Number of Words: Ryan is Luke Skywalker battling Greg, who’s Darth Vader, when space adventurer Lando Calrissian, Wayne comes in to help, Colin keeps entering as other Star Wars characters
Greg – 2 words
Colin – 3 words
Ryan – 4 words
Wayne – 5 words

A GAME WE HAVEN’T SEEN IN YEARS. At its mere mention, Ryan emits a loud groan. Which leads to Greg’s trademark cackle
Ryan: “…I mean YEAH!”

I find it interesting that this game has LMAD-esque title cards to remind us how many/few words they must say.

Greg: “Luke, I’m…”
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.15.30 PM.png
Ryan: “YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER.

I love how they even make sure they do the same number of sound effects (lightsaber noises) as words.

Wayne’s Lando comes back, and that impression is welcome anytime he uses it.

Colin enters as Chewbacca, and even does three noises to fulfill his.

Colin: [wookie noise], [wookie noise], [cough]
HAHAHAHA

Wayne: “I’m not afraid of you.”
Greg: “…should be.”
Wayne: “…Schlitz Malt Liquor Bowl, anyone?”
Had to be in there somewhere. Not Colt 45, though?

Colin enters as C3P0, waddling across
Wayne: “Why you walkin’ so funny?”
It takes Colin an extra few seconds to answer, but he does: “…my pants METAL!”
And with that, he exits before Wayne can compose himself

Colin, entering again: “Luke, Luke…it’s Me Leia”
[…counts fingers]

Drew, back at the seats: “PANTS METAL.”
Wayne: “pants…metal”
Ryan: “He’s Tonto! ‘Mmm, pants metal!”
Drew: “Points 1000!”

A pretty shaky game of this, as it was, like Scenes Cut from a Movie a few shows ago, a series of impressions with only a thin plotline and some good jokes to keep us connected. This one was very funny though, mostly thanks to Colin and his metal pants

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Howard, an engineer that designs closures for hazardous sites, in the style of the village people- Greg, Ryan and Colin backup dance.

And now…here we go.

Drew: “This is Howard, he’s an engineer…though, since he’s an engineer he can’t simply explain his job…”

To be fair, Howard’s a very good sport with Drew explaining his job, and saying “glad we have you around”

I love Colin’s tired reaction to have to come up and do backup

The eventual reveal always cracks me up:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.30.16 PM.png
Colin’s just there in the back, smiling in the sailor hat
Drew: “You know what, Colin, you look like a Cracker Jack box with a BAAAAD prize inside…”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.31.10 PM.png
So already this is funny as hell

The initial sight of the three turning around in these hats and dancing feebly in the back still cracks me up.

Wayne: “Howard: makes the casa de poo.”
Alright then

Ryan is the first to initiate the buttslaps:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.35.18 PM.png
Also, Ryan just picked the goofiest hat for the 6’6 guy to wear. And so they all follow, and alternate the butt-slaps

Then, when it comes time to do a ‘YMCA’-esque spelling, Wayne initiates it: “H-O-R-W-A-R-D”, which the three in the back feebly try to recreate. A few audience members laugh at this, catching that Wayne spelled Howard wrong [Horward], but they don’t have time to completely address it, because immediately after this, going into the next verse, DISASTER STRIKES!
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.37.12 PM.png
THE KEYBOARD GOES INTO DOUBLE-TIME OUT OF NOWHERE. It startles the hell out of Wayne, and ESPECIALLY the backup guys, who now have to start dancing TWICE AS FAST.
Ryan, trying to find the tempo: “HOWARD!”
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.38.10 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.38.30 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.38.37 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.39.23 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 3.39.59 PM.png
I love Colin’s face. He’s part horrified, part determined.
Wayne sort of looks over, makes sure everything’s alright, but keeps going: “Howard, can ya last. Howard, how’d this song get so damn fast?”

I love the, in-between verses, “HEY! HEY! HEY HEY HEY HEY!” that Ryan orchestrates for the backup line, as all three are confused but are still trying to hang onto the tempo.

There’s a cut, because right before Wayne starts misspelling Howard again [“H O R”], the tempo evens out a bit more, so maybe Laura figured out what happened
I also love the shot of Ryan and Colin panicking, throwing their arms in the air, trying to keep calm.

Then, Wayne looks back at Colin and he’s flailing his arms up and down with the same facial expression, and Wayne completely loses it.

So, Wayne’s done. Laura’s keyboard cuts out. Ryan, Colin and Greg are still dancing madly. Cece’s ending it with a sax solo. Howard’s smiling through, and taking it all REALLY DAMN WELL. Again, this works because he has such a great sense of humor.

The detail I never notice is that once Drew buzzes, Ryan IMMEDIATELY takes off the headdress. Even through the post-game, Ryan doesn’t want that on his head.

Drew: “We had a little equipment breakdown, right? What happened to the…”
Laura, saying her FIRST SPOKEN DIALOGUE ON RECORD: “um, it’s hard to explain…”
[I imagine that Laura explains things here, and they cut out a lot of it for air]
Laura: “I’m so sorry”
Drew: “That’s okay, you know, I didn’t even know the Village People even DID polkas..”

Colin: “I didn’t think it was that noticeable.”
Drew: “yeah, but then I then I saw [does impression of Colin’s arm flailing] DUHDUHDUHDUHDUHDUH…man, it was like a wind-up monkey”
[Ryan puts the headdress back on here, as they’re probably gonna be out here for a while]

Greg, who’s been silent and calm through most of this game, finally speaks up, towards Wayne and Laura: “Watch out for those tempo changes, man…cause we go into the second bridge, this shit takes OFF!”
An IMMORTAL line. And Wayne loses it some more.

So Drew lets Howard go back to his seat, everyone puts down their hats, and things calm down…but Drew’s not done, because he hasn’t addressed the thing Wayne thought we all missed
Drew: “Thank you, Howard, or as Wayne spells it…Horward.”
Wayne, not even negating it: “…YEAH. Man, if you’re not in my mind, you don’t know what i’m thinking…”

Drew: “If this ever makes it to air, i’ll be so amazed. H-O-R-W-A-R-D…Horward…”
[Greg tries to get a line in here, but he’ll get around to it later]
Wayne’s now over it enough to laugh at himself, as Drew keeps going.
Wayne: “It’s hard to spell at 210 beats per minute.”
ANOTHER CLASSIC LINE

Greg, finally, to Drew: “Thanks for letting me wear your hat, man…”
And, of course…this ends with a Drew slam. As the lord intended.

So…even with the snafu, this is a great, memorable Song Styles with fun lyrics from Wayne and some hysterical backup dancing from the other 3. Both Wayne’s screw-up and the keyboard’s screw-up make this one a classic, because the entire scene’s closing in on them, and everyone keeps carrying on and rolling with it. It’s pretty admirable, as this could have completely fallen apart and been unbroadcastable, but by the force of will, and of Ryan and Colin, we got a game that could go out in the 100th show. Which is pretty phenomenal.

Show-Stopping Number: Ryan, Colin & Wayne are at an accounting firm

A NEW GAME, one that had been played prior to this but not aired yet. This is a game that would always do well in tapings where there was a running gag present, and this is one such taping.

Ryan starts the scene announcing he’s been fired: “Apparently they say I don’t fit in anymore.”
Colin: “But you add so well!”

Ryan: “well, they said I’ve been taking too many days off.”
Colin: “How many have you taken off?”
Ryan: “43.”
Colin: “DOING WHAT?””
Ryan: “I like to go to the beach!”
BUZZ. And with every buzz Ryan gets in this game, there’s always a moment of pivoting and shaking his head.

Ryan: “And now my record- my record’s marred!
AT LEAST I CAN PRONOUNCE THE NAME HOWAAARD!”
THERE WE GO. I feel like this must have happened right after Song Styles, because by Wayne’s reaction, it still seems very fresh.

Ryan gets Colin to stand up to the boss, Mr. Flecker
Colin: “You know what, I’m gonna go there. I’ll say: “HEY, MISTER, HIRE MY FRIEND BACK OR I’M GONNA KICK IN YOUR BUTT FROM HERE TO TUESDAY.”
Ryan, knowing he should set up Colin for a number: “…well, maybe you could shorten it a bit..”
Colin: “HEY, BUSTER, HIRE MY FRIEND-”
BUZZ

Colin’s initial number is…pretty great:
“Hey buster, hire my friend
Or I’ll shove my foot right up your end!”
[The audience loves this]
Then…from here…Colin is absolutely out of ideas, and just starts flailing his arms, like with the keyboard in Song Styles, and goes “WHIRLWHIRLWHIRLWHIRLWHIRLWHIRL”
Greg in the background COMPLETELY LOSES IT. It’s been YEARS since I’ve seen him laugh this hard.
Colin then rolls off a string of absolute nonsense words until Ryan cut him off.
The first time I saw this, I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. This was so ridiculous and random that it killed me, and it still does.

Ryan, after that: “You know what? I think it’s best that I just leave.”

Wayne, entering: “I was in my office and I heard ‘BLAAHBLAAAHBLAAAH…”

Wayne: “Now, normally I’d fire someone for their impudence, but-”
The audience is one step ahead of him, and start losing it. Colin gives him a look. Ryan, taking this further, starts crying. And Wayne starts audibly laughing at how this backfired.
Ryan: “I’M LEAVIN’, YA DON’T HAVE TO INSULT ME!”

Wayne offers to give both Ryan and Colin a raise
Colin: “…I didn’t know I was fired!”

Ryan sets Wayne up for a number by mentioning the company motto
Wayne: “That’s right, don’t…Don’t Fuss with Flecker.”
BUZZ

Wayne’s Flecker song is pretty silly, with the line “Flecker might get Fleckerized and Fleck inside your butt”
He ends a measure early, but it’s still a fun ending. Plus, Wayne gets Ryan and Colin to do another bit of ‘BLAAAAHBBLAAAHBLAAAAH’ to spite Laura and Linda

Probably as good as you can get from this game, and a very silly, cohesive debut, with all three doing funny verses and ACE callbacks.

Scenes from a Hat:

The first one is a continuation of what’s now a recurring SFAH: “Things you can say about the food you eat, but not your girlfriend”
Wayne: “Would you look at the mold on that!”
Drew: [watches the audience react to that]

Drew, cracking: “What President Bush does in the Oval Office when he’s all by himself.”
Greg: [plays hopscotch, and loses]
Greg, down again, with a mirror: “Who beat Al Gore? WHO BEAT AL GORE?”
With all the ‘idiot’ portrayals of Bush, it’s nice to see one who’s just self-confident and surprised he beat a shoo-in like Gore for the presidency

Drew: “…a brief glimpse into the dreams of Colin Mochrie”
Greg:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 4.13.37 PM.png
“…mmmm…”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 4.14.20 PM.png

And then Ryan calls the other two down:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 4.15.15 PM.png
“AAIIIIIGHHH!”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 4.15.57 PM.png

Greg: “Yeah, you were great, Sharon Stone…no, I’m not gonna CALL ya…”
Colin cracks up at this one

Drew: “Statements that will get bleeped by the censor.”
He then shows this one to Greg, not believing they got this one either.
Wayne, finally: “En español, I am El Grande Ricardo, but you can call me Big Dick!”
I love how smug he looks after this one

Greg, still not done with Bush: “I’m George W. Bush, and I’m a fucking idja-ma-nit!”
A great callback to the earlier one

Colin’s is the best. He goes up, waits for the applause to die down, has a slack expression, and goes “…HERE, PUSSY!”
IT IS THAT SIMPLE.

Drew: “Outtakes from the first 100 episodes of Whose Line”
Colin, without skipping a beat: “HERE, PUSSY.”

And then:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 4.20.35 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 4.20.53 PM.png
PERFECT
Greg: “He, uh…thinks he’s-”
Wayne: “Starts humming the Irish Drinking Song”
Greg, not topping that, joins in

Wayne, taking a card: “Hi, welcome to Whose Line a-I’d…AHHH, I’M SO STUPID!”

Colin, once again slack-faced: “….H-O-R-W…”

Probably one of the best SFAHs in the show’s history. It doubles down on the runner, adds so many funny bits, has callbacks in itself, and every scene has something funny. Aw man.

Hoedown: 100th Show

This Hoedown is probably the most similar to the ones the Rooster Teeth guys do at the end of their telethon.

Wayne has a standard talk-show verse, ending with a line of “if it wasn’t for Whose Line, I’d be on UPN.”

Drew: “Let me tell you something, even though it’s been a blast
All you that have been watching Friends, you can kiss my ass!”

Colin, of course, has the best verse:
“100 episodes of Whose Line, where our name’s been called
100 shows of all of them saying that I’m bald
Does it hurt the friendship? Can it stand the test?
Yes it can, cause I’m hung the best.”

And instead of doing a verse on the topic, Ryan has a DIRECT RESPONSE TO COLIN:
“Colin says he’s hung the best, that I just can’t see
I’ve known him for a long time, and it cannot be.
He says he’s got a big penis, but it’s not a lock
Cause I have to tell ya right now mine’s tucked in my sock.”

A really dang good Hoedown. Better than most of these. Everyone had something funny, and the random penis interlude made it funnier.

Even the credit reading’s pretty good, with Ryan just…whipping out his penis, and getting annoyed with Greg stepping in it.

Overall: The subtitle promised a landmark, and oh man did we get one. No bad games, several classics, a behemoth of a runner, and an all-time great with the HORWARD Song Styles. You can make a case that this one succeeded in spite of disaster, and that a lot of games go back to breaking, but…I think about Show-Stop and SFAH, and most of SS, and how ironclad they all were in the face of certain defeat. This show could have been a failure, and it could have been a hot mess, but everything stayed together and was not only pants-wettingly funny, but lawful. No one got hurt, Howard got his game on TV, Laura and Linda kept their jobs, and everyone laughed about it in the end, which makes sense for a 100th show.

Show Winner: Greg
Best Performer: Colin Mochrie. Even if he wasn’t the basis of the humor in some games (SS), he was doing funny shit all night.
Worst Performer: Ryan, to be honest. Just didn’t have many standout moments, and went for defense in a lot of games.
Best Game: Song Styles. Has to be.
Worst Game: Number of Words was the most haphazard.

COMING UP NEXT: The sole S3 episode we’re getting out of this season-ending run. And, oh my, did they pick a good one or what? Kathy Greenwood’s here, from the same taping as E29. And…there’s a rather famous round of Party Quirks that I can’t wait to write up.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S03E32, or That’s Almost Like Humor

The 305 taping, which has been admittedly a mixed bag, was at least a testing ground for some new games. A few we’ve seen, like Survival Show and Reunion, never got played again, and we get another one of those here. A lot of new games introduced this season where meant to emphasize Greg’s role, and like Appraisal (which never aired), none of these really caught on. I give them credit for trying, but the way to let Greg shine could have just been pairing him with Ryan or Colin in scene games, not having him proctor a bunch of times.

Superheroes: No More Shampoo
Greg: Captain Dandruff
Ryan: Elvis Kid
Colin: Captain Bondage
Wayne: Trick Tap-Dancing Kid

Two people begin by yelling, as loud as they can, “CAPTAIN FLATULENCE!”
Drew: “…we did it already!”
[So does that mean this was the Superheroes cut from either the 203 taping or the 210 taping?]

Drew: “No more shampoo, Captain Dandruff, what are you gonna do?”
Greg, in a very Greg way: “…stand by for the next episode.”

Greg: “Hmm, I wonder, was Captain Flatulence just here?”
HEH

Greg, continuing a trend from last show: “GREAT LEAPING…SNOWY FLAKES OF DEAD SKIN!”

Ryan: “Sorry I’m late, it was snowin’ outside”

Ryan, as the Elvis kid, notes “I gotta give Cilla a call”. Yes, this means Priscilla, but as a Whose Line fan I immediately thought he meant Cilla Black

Greg, also continuing a trend, to Colin: “Wow, how d’you do that, no flakes at all!”
Colin gives him a look, and possibly mutters something
Greg: “THERE’S NO SHAMPOO LEFT!”
Colin, blunt: “who cares?”

Wayne’s solution is a simple “I’m gonna go to the store.” Ugh

Greg, after Wayne leaves: “Who was that man, I wanted to spank him!”

A pretty light Superheroes. Greg tried, but the jokes were kinda self-contained

Film, TV & Theater Styles: Three soldiers wading through a dangerous river on a mission to blow up an enemy bridge, Colin is the tough sergeant, and Ryan and Wayne are two rookies who have reached their breaking point

Colin’s first line is unintelligible gruff nonsense. 10/10

Ryan: “I’ve reached my breaking point.”
Colin: [hits with gun]

By the time Drew adds styles, Wayne hasn’t said a line yet. Almost like we really don’t need 3-person F&TS or something. Although there is a cut, so maybe something happened?

After getting bigger guns in Anime, Drew calls Charlie’s Angels, and they do silly poses with them.

The Spanish Soap Opera style is funny because none of them really know spanish. Wayne mutters ‘Maria Conchito Alonso”, and Greg starts howling in the back
Ryan, knowing the audience, mutters ‘West Covina’

Ryan prompting everyone to dance around the stage in Burlesque got a laugh out of me, but it shouldn’t really have taken this long

Not a great F&TS. The scene never got going, the styles didn’t help, and it was kind of a mess.

Wedding: Kristen, from the audience, who stresses like you wouldn’t believe, is marrying Colin. Greg officiates, Ryan’s the drunken relative, Wayne’s the entertainer

This does give us a new aspect of improv, using a real-life couple and their story/characteristics in the improv. They’d do this a lot better in First Date during Improv-A-Ganza [“I’m sorry, I had the poo beans”], but here Drew interviews a couple about what the wife does that can be used in the scene. And he promptly nearly falls into the next row of audience members.
Screen Shot 2019-12-24 at 3.00.22 PM.png
Drew: “Man, 200 crew guys just yelled ‘MY MORTGAGE!”
Greg: “We were just watching our career pass before our eyes”

This is basically an excuse for Greg to take the reins of the show, and improvise his way through this whole thing like a Vegas show. Which is nice, because until the Vegas shows, we wouldn’t get many opportunities to see that

Colin says Kristen’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.
Greg: “Is she better than your last 3 wives, you think?”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-24 at 3.03.46 PM.png

Ryan enters as ‘Uncle Bob’, and gives Kristen a hug…and promptly gives her another one. This is clearly going on Sid Caesar-esque ‘repeat/milk if funny’ logic.

Greg: “Now Uncle Bob, you used to take Colin for walks, didn’t ya?”
Ryan discloses here that he “thought I was Kristen’s uncle”, as Greg sort of lapped himself in family logic, but Ryan rolls with it anyway. This can be the problem with Greg handling a scene, as he’ll make little lapses like this.
Ryan: “Well, I’m actually both their uncles, which is very odd”

Colin introduces Wayne as James Brown’s brother, Wayne Brown. Which is a very nice improv gift to give Wayne

And, of course, Wayne’s James Brown is routinely great

Greg, as Wayne’s in mid-song, drapes his jacket over Wayne, which Wayne throws off after like a second

This is a pretty interesting scene. It’s loose enough, allows everyone to do something fun throughout the scene, has a musical component, involves an audience member’s story, and is one of the few glimpses of a longer-form improv game in this show. The only issue is that this playing was very okay, and didn’t work as well as it could have, which means any future playing had to be really thought about. This is a very complicated game to play, and I wish they would have done it at a future taping to see if it had legs, but i see why they stopped at one.

Greatest Hits: Songs of the Safari v2:

I love the audience turning on Ryan’s ‘safari so good’ joke, and Colin taking full advantage by going, with a big smile, “WHY, RYAN…That’s almost like humor!”
Ryan has to limit himself to a single hurt glance at Colin without breaking the facade

Colin, on being a chorus member on Broadway: “I didn’t get very far, and I broke my hip 15 times”

Wayne spends an extra few seconds laughing at “there’s a pygmy in my pocket and a rhino on my tail”

Wayne is clearly aping Chicago in his musicality and patter. Him throwing in random animal sounds helps

Colin’s exclamation that this show won “15 Tonys and a Jeff” gets a very long, drawn out audience reaction

Colin tries to do a “IF YOU CALL RIGHT NOW” gag
Ryan: “You can’t call right now, the lines are busy
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-24 at 3.30.02 PM.png
he just holds this
[The laughs have been very few this show, but this was a good one]

Colin: “And we will send you absolutely free…the packaging…it comes in.”

Ryan, innocently enough, asks Colin what he likes “on your burritos, or taco chips”
Colin knows what he must NOT say: “Whyyyy…a little bit…of PAPER.”
[Drew and Greg start absolutely losing it. This kind of refusal to say the style on the card is pretty hysterical.]
Ryan, still trying: “Say the paper you’re eating is kind of BLAND. What would you put on the PAPER to make it more exciting.”
Colin: “SALT.”
Ryan, still trying: “…SA. SALSA.”
Dear god

Ryan does a ‘simply titled’ one for this salsa song: [LOUD ELEPHANT NOISE]

Somehow makes a salsa song with this title work really damn well, which is a testament to his musical improv skills

Not as good as the other GH from this taping, but still strong, and that Salsa banter is classic.

Three-Headed Broadway Star: Wayne, Ryan and Drew sing ‘B-Block Wife’, from the Musical ‘Doin’ Time’, to Michelle

We’re still getting the SHOW for this song, for some reason, but okay. It’s early, I’ll be fine with it.

This is a pretty standard song, but I love Wayne’s move to end the sentence “come to my cell late” with “…TEEERR…”

I love Wayne’s horror in what’s happening with the “Shower with me” line, followed with a well sung “Don’t drop the SOOOOAP”. Wayne is shaking his head

I love that Drew forgets to cut to commercial until after sending Michelle back to her seat. Ryan basically has to remind him.

Pretty limp 3HBS.

Overall: Not a lot stood out to me at all. Only Greatest Hits worked, and even that one had some flaws early. Wedding was a nice experiment that could have worked better, and both F&TS and 3HBS just didn’t have the laughs I wanted. This may be the second consecutive season that some of the weakest shows are Greg shows, and while it’s not exactly his fault, his style of proctoring isn’t the most open-ended, and a lot of times he makes concrete decisions that negate other people’s.

Show Winner: Greg
Best Performer: Ryan over Wayne for making them do a Drop the Soap joke in 3HBS.
Worst Performer: Greg made more faux pas’ tonight, sadly.
Best Game: Greatest Hits by default.
Worst Game: 3 Headed Broadway Star had like 2 funny lines.

COMING UP NEXT: It’s been like 10 shows since we’ve seen Chip Esten. Let’s go back to the 303 taping to see if there’s any more zaniness hiding there.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S03E31, or I’m Not Talking to you, Four-Eyes!

We’re rounding the last few shows of S3, and things are about to get weird. In the remaining 9 shows of the season, only 5 of them are from S3 tapings- 2 are from S2, which is normal and fine, but two are from the rounds of S4 tapings that have already commenced by the time S3 is airing. One of them is an understandable push-forward, and the other…isn’t. Like, you’re gonna be backlogged with S3 stuff for 4 more seasons, why dry it up now?

Anyway, this Greg Proops episode is one of two straight Greg shows that mark his last S3 tapings of…S3. He’ll be around later, but for a very special occasion. This one’s from the 307 taping, which we’ve gotten pretty good stuff from so far.

The points don’t matter, “just like who the president is”
This was filmed after the 2000 election results. And it’s pretty relevant as I type this now, as the US president has been impeached.

Superheroes: Out of Doughnuts
Greg: Imaginary Friend Boy
Ryan: Break-Up and Make-Up kid
Colin: Overly Sensitive Kid
Wayne: Matrix Boy

For the record, this is the first of three straight episodes starting with Superheroes.

The audience member who suggests Imaginary Friend Boy has a notably high-pitched voice, one that Greg cracks at and Drew and Ryan imitate lovingly

Greg, to someone: “No, don’t you DARE say that about Drew, I think he’s fantastic!”
And then, to someone else: “No, Colin IS TOO trying to grow it back…”
Colin, from the sidelines, shakes his head. I can imagine this is Game 1 of the taping, and the abuse has started THIS EARLY.

Greg’s cry of ‘GREAT LEAPING SALAMANDERS’ cracks up Drew, and eventually Greg

Ryan: “YOU LOOK HORRIBLE TODAY I’m so sorry..” [hugs Greg]
I love Ryan
Ryan: “GET OFF ME- come closer.”

Colin, still sore: “I HURRIED OVER AS QUICKLY AS [drops, to Greg] I’m not talking to you, four-eyes.”
HA
There are some surprised OHHHs from the audience
Ryan, as this swerves his hand, cracks: “THE OVERLY SENSITIVE KID…”

And the dynamic between the three of them for the next 10 seconds is hysterical, as all three are a mix of emotions that just fit together

Colin: “DADDY, DADDY, WHY DID YOU LEEEAVE…”

Wayne’s Matrix stunts are pretty cool, and showcase his physical abilities pretty well

Wayne then, for the SECOND SHOW IN A ROW, tries doing a stunt off of Drew’s desk, and comes within foot-length of the neon light. Because this one filmed directly before the 308 taping, Ryan doesn’t react- it’s more of an omen for 3×38 than anything..

Wayne’s solution is a cool one- he has the donuts fly at him like bullet time.
Greg, to someone else: “I like his ass too!”
Wayne: [waves and blows a kiss to this imaginary friend]
Ryan: “SHUT UP!”

Colin: “Was he making fun of me?”
Greg: “No, I don’t think so”
Then he fails at keeping composed at something an imaginary friend says, and Colin dropkicks him offscreen. I’m loving this one.

Ryan: “I NEVER WANNA SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN- dinner at 8?”

And Greg ends the scene by addressing all his imaginary friends and saying “COME ON EVERYBODY, WE’RE GOING TO LEGOLAND!”

Such a fun Superheroes. So much happened! And Greg had so much fun with his, even if it meant pissing off Colin

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Robin, a Candy Girl, as Louie Armstrong

Oh, so THAT’S why Greg went up in Hats and just said “I’m a Candy Girl in Vegas…”

Though Robin specifies she works at a Casino in Gardena, which Wayne starts discretely writing down

…having Anne King on trumpet does give a pretty cool effect to this, tbh

Then, Wayne starts doing the face and we can already see he’s got this down

Wayne has a truly silly pun: “She’s arrived…in the nic’o’tine…”
Wayne glances at Colin after this, and we see Colin start laughing soonafter

Wayne even has a cool line with “Hurry up with my pack of Kools, lend me a Snickers.”

And then Wayne does a great job miming alone with Anne’s trumpet playing

Even better, he starts riffing along with Anne, doing some vocal trumpet work as Anne responds. It’s a really fun collaboration

SUCH A GREAT Wayne number. Probably one of his best solo SS ones in a while, as he just dominated, especially in the back-and-forth with Anne.

Improbable Mission: Mow the Lawn

Ryan immediately has a subversion- the tape is actually a  letter. “I’ll read it, you listen to my thoughts.”
SO ALREADY WE’RE AT ‘UNBELIEVABLE’

Greg, reading: “Hello, how are you? I am fine. RECENTLY, OUR FAMILY-”
Ryan, throwing it away: “THIS IS FROM MY AUNT.”
HAHAHA

Greg has a nice gag with going back on the Grand Duke’s name 3 times before concluding: “The Grand Duke of Hardtopronouncia”

Ryan: “The White House. That’s more than 500 miles away.”
Colin, thinking: “…YEAH…but, you know what? If we go in the other direction, it’s next door!”
I love this game

Ryan mentions that there’s a lot of security. Colin asks for a chocolate bar, which Ryan hands over. Colin…proceeds to eat it while thinking. It’s a very classic, Abbott-and-Costello style gag that Ryan can’t help but laugh at

This whole game is just a series of bizarre solutions. Colin eventually goes with “I’LL DIG A HOLE UNDERNEATH THE GRASS, YOU PULL IT DOWN UNTIL IT’S LEVEL.”

Ryan, about to go under: “THIS…COULD TAKE A WHILE…”
He then mimes going under and plucking each individual blade of grass

Colin: “Put on this sheep costume.”
Ryan: “AGAIN?”
Colin nervously shakes his head

Colin sets up that all the sheep are gonna be on the lawn, and Ryan needs to entice them
Ryan: “Put on my French maid outfit. YOU HEARD ME.”
Colin: “…on me?”
Ryan: “NO, ON ME.”

Ryan falls back after getting half the lawn mowed: “AND I’M INJURED. IT’S UP TO YOU.”
It’s a good picture of the haphazard balance of control in this game. Sometimes it’s Ryan doing a lot of the work, sometimes it’s Colin. This was Ryan’s cue that Colin needs to do some.

I love Ryan making sure he’s on the same page as Colin as he’s solving the conflict [“WAIT, YOU’VE…TURNED THE LAWN OVER?” “THAT’S RIGHT!”]

Colin: “I broke into the presidential pool room. I ripped off the top of- DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING???”
Again, they’re not on the same page, and they’re still going ahead with the scene, but they’re trying so hard
Ryan: “The felt off the top of the pool…what are all these stains?”
OH GOD. Even Colin cringes there.
Annnd Drew has to kill it there.

Drew, to the four: “When he makes jokes about presidential stains, that’s when I hit the buzzer.”

Drew thanks Ryan for “getting the sheep image in my head. Now I can count you if I get sleepy tonight…”

I really liked this playing. Granted, both performers were on shaky ground for most of the scene, and a lot of the wackier moments happened thanks to individual merits, but it was still really funny. The entire sheep in a French Maid outfit was so bizarrely WL that it worked.

Scenes from a Hat:

The game begins with this visual:
Screen Shot 2019-12-23 at 3.37.28 PM.png

Greg’s zeal in both fast-forward suggestions is great, especially the ‘date-to-impotence’ one

I love Wayne doing an elaborate handshake to Colin as the Queen, and how puzzled Colin is the whole time

Ryan, improper etiquette when meeting the queen: “OKAY, WHO AM I- [does facial impression of Prince Charles]”

“The Good News and the Bad News” makes its debut here. I always like when they do this one.
Wayne: “Ooh, the election’s over….President Bush?”
HA

Ryan: “The good news is…the surgery was successful and now you look like a movie star. The bad news is that movie star is Drew Carey.”
Drew:
Screen Shot 2019-12-23 at 3.43.28 PM.png

Greg, to Wayne: “MERRY CHRISTMAS, TOMMY…IT’S GEPPETO ON DVD!”
LOUD BUZZ BEFORE HE CAN FINISH
Screen Shot 2019-12-23 at 3.44.12 PM.png
Wayne, trying to save face: “…I *LIKE* IT. I was IN IT, I liked it!”
Greg, trying: “…the bad news was it was Christmas…”

Drew: “Pull the string on the Drew Carey doll and it says…”
Colin, perfectly timed: “…it was nice the time we worked together, Greg, you’re fired.”

Ryan: [comes onstage]
Drew, audibly: “…no…”
Ryan, pulls string: “LOWER.”
PFFFFF
Drew:
Screen Shot 2019-12-23 at 3.48.46 PM.png

I love Greg’s hesitance to go up. Drew just goes “whatever you want, baby, I don’t care.”
Greg, pulling string: “…Mimi and I are the same person.”
OH MAN. The place explodes. Drew has to fight to keep from laughing too hard

Drew: “Announcements that will cause this audience to go wild.”
Ryan, to a room of tired taping participants: “In 10 minutes, we bring out the liquor.”
COPIOUS APPLAUSE
Wayne: “….I’M THE LICKER.”
APPLAUSE
Ryan: “Everyone pull out their ticket stubs…we will now raffle off Drew’s Porsche.”
APPLAUSE

Pretty strong SFAH, though it took like 2 or 3 to get really good

Hoedown: Rock Star

I love Wayne’s insinuation that N’Sync get more women than most rock stars. A. One of them is gay, and B. Only one of them is Timberlake.

Drew’s one is fine, and ends in the realization that “Colin Mochrie is my only groupie”

Colin’s clever, saying he’s a rock star who slept with all these supermodels
“Well I didn’t get one, but that is her loss
A Rolling Stone never gets no Kate Moss”

Ryan: “Rock ‘n roll isn’t the best music I found
But at least they don’t have to do a stinkin’ Hoedown.”

Solid Hoedown. No real dud verses.

Also, the credit reading features Ryan playing a character from a Let’s Make a Date playing that never aired, as a hypnotist trying to enslave the audience.

Overall: This one started off super strong, proceeded to shift to just plain ‘really good’ for a bit, and ended with an Okay hoedown. So, true to form for this taping, a solid show but a bit more uneven than I’d like. I’ll admit this one’s better than its cousins from the same taping, as everything was really good (even Hoedown), and I’d say that there are several highlights, even from games that weren’t THE best (SFAH had a ton of highlights). We also just had some really fun vibes, especially from the first 3 games- Superheroes and Song Styles were outstanding, and Improbable Mission outdid its shakiness to still entertain me. I also thought Drew was pretty responsive in this one, and he’s slowly getting looser and looser behind that desk.

Show Winner: Greg
Best Performer: By a very slim margin, I am giving this one to Greg Proops. He appeared in the least amount of games, but his ratio of highlighted-games per-games-played was higher than Colin’s.
Worst Performer: Honestly, Ryan’s stuff seemed pretty ‘been there done that’ aside from Improbable Mission.
Best Game: Superheroes, man. Just the most full.
Worst Game: Hoedown, but you could guess that.

COMING UP NEXT: Another Greg show, back to the 305 taping, and breeding ground for several new games. We’ll see one of them next.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S03E26, or There Isn’t Room for Hashbrowns!

Two tapings into season 3, there was a noticeable shift.

After 2 seasons of having Ryan Stiles supply Sound Effects for Colin Mochrie, the game became an audience member game. It happened out of nowhere, and the way the tapings were arranged, we were dropped right into it, only getting a Ryan SFX in a Kathy episode well into the season. The whole season’s going by and we don’t know what happened, or why it changed, even if the new SFX is funny.

Well…26 episodes into season 3, we’re about to find out. This is from the very first taping of Season 3, a taping we’ve seen in E14. With Greg Proops. And a tacky orange Colin shirt.

…yep, this is THAT episode. Get ready.

As this is the earliest S3 taping, Ryan’s hair is VERY BLONDE HERE

I’ve also always noted how different the lighting is, especially over Drew, on this show. He looks a lot more similar to his S2 self, or is at least lit that way- every other S3 show looks different.

Sound Effects: Colin is a novice gladiator making his preparations before entering the Colosseum, trying to win his freedom

Ryan starts the scene patting Colin on the back, as if HE’s the one that’ll need help

Ryan does bring in his old running gag of having a recurring trumpet sound to get Colin on. Colin, warming up, arrows the trumpeter in the face.

I love Colin’s little tied-up motion as he’s trying to get out of the ring throw.

Ryan sounds the trumpets again
Colin, opening the stage door:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 8.21.52 PM.png
PFFFF
He gives a little ‘five minutes’ sign, and wobbles back in. This is going on Bugs Bunny logic, and I love it

I love the detail that Colin tosses the sword, Ryan does a horse noise, and Colin reaches up and grabs the sword, just hanging in mid-air, before petting the horse

Colin gets on the horse, rides it a little, gets off the horse to open the gate and the horse runs off without him. Colin bites his lip. Greg and Wayne love this.

I love the scene of Colin fighting the lion, sticking his head in, putting himself inside and flailing the lion around, all while Ryan does surprised gargling noises.

The audience boos Colin, so as Ryan comes back in with the trumpets, Colin throws a sword into the crowd, and AGAIN it hits the audience member. I love Ryan’s sudden yelp in pain.

Ryan, as Colin prepares, does a random galloping noise that diminishes
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 8.26.49 PM.png
[he just shrugs at Ryan]

Colin finally figures out he needs to signal the horse, so he puts his fingers in his mouth to whistle.
RYAN, HOWEVER, CAN’T GET A WHISTLE OUT, AND STRUGGLES TO GET ANYTHING ABOVE A CHIRP. Greg and Wayne love this as well.

After Drew calls off the scene, a very embarrassed Ryan is still trying to whistle with no luck.

Drew: “That was some whistle.”
Ryan: [does even more pathetic whistling]

Regardless of the snafu, one of my all-time favorite SFX playings with this arrangement. All the things thrown at Colin were all hysterical, and Ryan for the most part was right there with him.

Song Styles: Wayne sings a German cabaret song about a vacuum cleaner- the other three backup.

Wayne is cracking up as he sets up the chairs, knowing that the other 3 must be in this one.

After reluctantly coming downstage, Ryan and Greg immediately get the hang of this:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 8.31.06 PM.png

Wayne, who has clearly seen Cabaret, gives a very strong dialogue intro to this, getting the accent and style down perfectly

Wayne’s actual song is…masterful. He approaches singing a cabaret song about a hoover as if it’s a serious gig for him. The other three are just cooly lounging for now

Greg eventually gets the idea to get out of his chair and start dancing, and…
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 8.33.38 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 8.33.46 PM.png
….yeah.
Wayne gets the idea, and slaps Greg’s ass a bit

Wayne: “Because my Hoover is my best friend; it sucks!”
perfect

As Wayne continues, the other 3 occupy different positions- Greg on his back, Colin going on and off the chair, Ryan coming around

Ryan, passing in the background, takes a big gulp from a drink, and I love that this gets a close-up

As the music calms down, we get this visual:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 8.36.05 PM.png
…which might be a bit more Jodorowsky than Fosse, but that’s neither here nor there.

And as Wayne finishes:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 8.37.03 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 8.37.26 PM.png
PERFECT

And Greg ends by twirling his chair to the ground. Dude doesn’t have  to say a word yet this episode and he’s already killing it

This is one of my favorite Wayne and backup dancers Song Styles playings. Even if Ryan was clearly out of his element, Wayne’s song was MASTERFUL, and Colin and Greg were very game to ooze sex in the background, especially in that final shot.

And speaking  of that final shot:
Drew: “I’ll give you a thousand points each if you can find me a BRAIN SCRUBBER…”
Ryan: [whistling finally]
Drew: “That’ll get that tongue-wagging thing out of my head…”
Ryan: [still whistling]
Drew: “So I can sleep tonight.”
Ryan: [whistling and applauding]
Drew: “…you’re about a game too late, I’m sorry…NOW he can whistle…”
Ryan: [KEEPS WHISTLING]
Drew: “OKAY, WE’RE MOVING ON”
Ryan: [still not done whistling]

Scenes from a Hat:

Drew: “Rejected State songs”
Colin: “COME TO FLORIDA AND DIE.”
Ryan: “WHORES AND GAMBLIN…WHORES AND GAMBLIN THAT’S NEVAAADAAAA…”

Drew: “Canada: The Upside”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 8.43.06 PM.png
YES!!!

Drew: “Self-help titles that didn’t sell well”
Ryan: “Learn to whistle on cue.”

Drew: “Bad things to say when stopped by the police”
Wayne, the yin to Colin: “…it’s okay, I’m from Canada.”
Greg, saying his first line of the episode: “Of course it’s a dead body, I’m in the diamond lane!”

Drew: “Rejected sayings on candy heart valentines.”
Colin: “I’ve always faked it.”

THE FIRST OF MANY OF A KIND
Drew: “Ways to describe your motorcycle, but not your girlfriend”
Ryan: “Just give it a kick and it starts right up”
Greg: “It’s small, but it makes a hell of a noise…”
Colin: “It’s okay if you don’t mind the bugs in your teeth”
[I LOVE THAT ONE. Drew takes a while to recover. Colin just shakes his head]
Ryan: “If ya really push up tight, you could get 3 people on it.”
Greg: “Sure you can ride her, everyone else has!”

Strong SFAH round. They’ve been getting a ton better as of late.

Improbable Mission: Cooking

I’ve always liked Greg’s bewildered response to the suggestion: “…cooking. Alright.”

Greg: “The Grand Pooba of Snackitoba, a small Canadian province-”
Ryan:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 9.04.55 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 9.05.24 PM.png

Greg: “If you or your team are either caught or killed, I DON’T WANNA KNOW YOUR BUTT, YOU’RE SAD LOSERS. This tape will self-destruct NOW BOOM.”
Colin, unfittingly: “..dammit…”

Ryan starts by saying they’re out of eggs.
Colin: “Wait…I was implanted with some chicken dna, give me a second.”
AND THIS IS WHAT WE START WITH

Ryan is surprised by how big the egg is.
Colin: “IT WAS REALLY GOOD DNA.”

They’re out of pans, too: Ryan asks how hot it is out
Colin: “Why it’s hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk”
Ryan, thinking very quickly: “We can’t go outside, the door’s- STICK YOUR HEAD OUT THE WINDOW.”
Colin does this motion lackadaisically, like the joke is beneath him

As Ryan does the whole mechanism, Colin just stands there with an unimpressed look on his face. I am wondering how he gets Ryan back for this
Ryan: “HELP ME OUT, BUT KEEP YOUR HEAD PERFECTLY STILL.”

As they need bacon, Ryan, again, pegs Colin: “You weren’t a pig at one time, were ya?”

Colin, with eggs and bacon sizzling on his head: “THERE ISN’T ROOM FOR HASHBROWNS.”
I love this game

Colin FINALLY gets Ryan back with the bread.
Colin: “YOUR MICROWAVE BUTT!”
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 9.11.39 PM.png

Ryan at least has a good line: “Do me a favor…set it on light.”

Ryan, putting the entire scene into perspective: “…nothing like butt toast and head eggs…”

Colin unintentionally calls back to The Cat playing by mispronouncing the guy’s name: “HEY, HE’S THE GRAND POOBA OF…NAGAMUFFIN.”
Ryan: “SNACKITOBA!”
Colin: “Oh, it’s SO EASY. I WAS NEVER GOOD AT GEOGRAPHY.”

Then, as Ryan looks for a vase or something fancy, Colin makes an INTENTIONAL callback to last playing: “if only we had a CAT…”
Ryan:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 9.15.03 PM.png

Colin, going forward: “OH, THIS CAN OF BEANS!”
Ryan, not making sense: “…it’s CLOSE to a cat…”

Ryan pours the beans on Colin’s head. COLIN HAS NO REACTION. I LOVE THAT THIS GAME HAS BROKEN HIM.

Right as they’re about to wrap up the scene, Colin makes an actual discovery: “MY GOD…THERE’S NOTHING TO DRINK.”
Ryan, trying to think: “…my god…you weren’t-”
Colin: “No, I have no coffee DNA anywhere in me.”
Ryan…FINALLY STRIKES GOLD:
Ryan: “…I’m not…talking coffee MISTER MOO.”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 9.17.36 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 9.17.53 PM.pngDrew, with no choice, ends. And my god…what an ending.

Colin, back at the seats: “…Mister Moo?”
Ryan: “MISTER…MOO.”

Drew: “I dunno about you, but I saw all I wanted to see.”
Ryan, shaking his head: “Pretty quick on that buzzer…”

SUCH A GOOD SCENE. On one hand, it’s not as good as the CAT playing, but…it was a full scene, with a full objective, a TON of odd moments, and a great ending, plus tons of great Colin-Ryan interplay. It felt like a game of this from the UK version.

Drew, finally bringing his attention to Mr. Moo: “Wow, we’ve got a new nickname for Colin, I’m so happy…”
Greg: “…Colin Moochrie.”
Drew DIES AT THIS.
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 9.20.31 PM.png

Drew: “He said he was sick of the bald jokes.”
Colin: “…yeah.”
Drew: “…FINE, Colin Moochrie, no more bald jokes.”

Drew: “So hey, 500 points apiece.”
Ryan: [whistles]
Drew: “Hey…1000 cause you whistled…”

Drew: “Let’s go onto a game called IMPROBABLE MISSION, THIS-”
Ryan and Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 9.22.05 PM.png

Three-Headed Broadway Star: Wayne, Colin & Ryan sing ‘Whistle on Cue’, from the musical Whistler’s Mother

Drew: “Whistler’s Mother…it’s like he’s been waiting to shout that all night, huh?”
Ryan: [nods politely]

Someone else yells WHISTLE ON CUE. Ryan does a very nice mocking look at that section of the audience. This, I assume, is why they changed the 3HBS suggestion strategy after this taping.

After a sensible first verse, Ryan decides he’s gonna go for it…and whistles in lieu of a word. THIS WORKS.

I do love the fun lyrics of this one:
“I have two arms
She…does not
I love her arms
She loves
Colin: “CLOTHES!”
The best part of that last line was the fact that they got 3 separate camera angles on the 3 performers to get each line of that on a different shot. It made the final punchline of it even funnier

Wayne: [whistles]
Ryan, caught off guard: [whistles]
Colin, not even trying: “…again.”

A very silly 3HBS, but I feel like this was shortened after ‘CLOTHES’. Still pretty fun though.

Props: Wayne & Colin vs. Drew & Ryan

Colin, prop in hand: “Yeah, it’s a little big, but it makes it easier hitting the bull-eye…BULLSEYE…”
Wayne: [hands him a drink]

Screen Shot 2019-12-16 at 9.30.04 PM.pngColin: “I’m the old lady Smurf”

Ryan and Drew’s jack-in-the-box is very silly

Like 3HBS, a little short, but seeing as Improbable Mission and SFAH were longer, it’s forgivable.

Overall: I knew this would hold up going in, but…this is one of my new favorites of the season. The entire run from Sound Effects to 3HBS is pretty legendary, meaning even if Props is a downside, it can’t kill the momentum entirely. The runner is a classic, with Ryan being the butt of the joke as well as supplying others. The games that don’t exactly connect to the runner, like Song Styles and Improbable Mission, are STILL pretty damn good. And I’d call several games here, like SFX, Song Styles and Improbable Mission, among my favorites of all time. I also loved how loose the group felt, especially in scenes back at the chairs with Drew. Props and Greg’s lack of screentime keep this from lapping the Robin show, but this is still a HUGE showing for this pairing, and a must-watch show from this season.

Show Winner: Greg
Best Performer: Colin dominated the hell out of this show. Just saying the word ‘again’ worked. Just staring at the camera for 10 seconds as Ryan did the work was funny.
Worst Performer: Greg was BARELY in this show.
Best Game: I want to say Sound Effects. I really, REALLY do…but Improbable Mission is a sentimental favorite of mine. There aren’t many bad spots in that game, and it’s got that incredible ending.
Worst Game: Props. But how could it compare?

COMING UP NEXT: The first of THREE STRAIGHT KATHY GREENWOOD SHOWS, each from a different taping. This upcoming one is from a new S3 Kathy taping, and a pretty solid arrangement of games.