Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E29, or You’re From Canada, Aren’t You?

Last Kathy Greenwood show of the season, and the first of a new taping we’ll see more material from in S7, which says a lot about the producers’ faith in this taping, tbh. Good news is, a lot of the best material is getting out here.

Hollywood Director: Fiendish Spanish colonel Ryan rides in to kidnap beautiful Mexican girl Kathy, Zorro, who is Wayne, arrives to rescue her

Ryan has a panicked reaction when he realizes he’ll be playing a Spaniard, eventually going “let me just say this Spanish guy has some Italian in him.” Ryan’s still not a pro at accents, but at least he’s aware of it

Kathy has a very Carol Burnett-esque “YOU KNOW…I DO NOT DANCE FOR THE LIKES OF YEOOUUU…”
And she just sort of nods. Ryan raises his eyebrows a little. Wayne cracks entirely
Ryan: “…you’re from Canada, aren’t you?”
[like 3/4ths of the cast is!]
Kathy: “…yes, and my mother’s from Sweden”

Ryan emits a very silly “ZORRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO” when Wayne eventually enters. Perhaps a cousin of his Latin American soccer announcer
Wayne: “…si si?”

Wayne, in a very GOOD accent: “Let go of the girls- I SAY GIRLS, I MEAN GIRL.”
Ryan, smirking: “…funny how we ALL come from a different part of Spain.”
I love this. It’s a funny enough scene, but they’re all poking fun at their accents because they can

Colin enters and throws them ALL for a loop by doing an even better, and thicker, Spanish accent: “JOO KNOW…when I first come to dis country with nothing but a hammer and a powerful laxative…”
Ryan, not thinking he was gonna go there, turns to Wayne and cracks.

Ryan: “I’m sorry, it’s a Spanish piece”
Colin: “…SSPAHNISH?”
His delivery of that will never not crack me up

Colin, after a pause, to Ryan: “…PLEH on you”
Ryan, wiping the spit from his eyes, struggles to keep composure

Colin: “LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I SPIT AND I’M HAPPY.”

Colin’s delivery of ‘1950’s MUUUUsical’, in that accent, continues to crack up Ryan.

The entire 50s Musical portion is really good, with Kathy doing some great, peppy work [“Another Spanish day in Spain, or is it Mexico”], and Ryan doing a very dramatic song to Kathy all of the sudden

Wayne, in a fun number: “Oh my goodness, I’m in a box
Did you know that Zorro is Spanish for fox?”
[meanwhile, the producers of Masked Singer begin to take notes]

Hell, Ryan and Wayne even make their sword fight have musical motifs. So silly

Colin gets another laugh by saying ‘perfect DOHRK’, and having to pull an Inspector Kemp and slightly break out of his accent to clarify [“DARK. NO LIGHT.”]

Ryan is so good at this that he can get a laugh by doing the same opening position he’s done in the first 2 iterations, watching Kathy dance, and do it facing the other side of the stage. THAT is great

Then, Ryan trying to feel around for Kathy and accidentally walking into her and nearly knocking her over. It’s simple, physical comedy, but it’s very funny

Then, in an even better move, Wayne appears on the scene, but somehow he’s ended up in the area behind the chairs, and is wandering around there.

Drew: “By the way, Colin’s wife LOVES that accent.”
Wayne: “I know!”

Such a funny scene. The accent roulette is funny enough, but it actually works both in the initial scene, and as a HD scene. And Colin’s accent was too damn funny

Song Styles: Wayne sings a James Bond theme to Doug, a chemistry professor; the other 3 do backup

As usual, Ryan is the last to come down for backup

Drew, referring to HD: “Another chance to see that Kathy Greenwood dancin’ magic..”

Doug is so up for all of this. Wayne starts the song by pointing a gun at Doug, and Doug, concerned, moves out of the way. Wayne even does a ‘oh no, we’re cool’ gesture for Doug.

Wayne does make a fun generalization of “he had not one date for prom, I bet.”
BOOOOO. NERDS DO TOO GET GIRLS.

Ryan’s in the back of a Doug close-up when he starts bouncing his boobs for a gag.

Such a fun number. I don’t know if it tops the other Bond number Wayne did [for Bob the pastor], but the backup element was very fun, and Doug got a kick out of it all

Drew, foreshadowing a famous AMC drama: “He says he’s a chemistry professor, he actually owns a meth lab in Van Nuys.”
Doug, to his credit, laughs at this
Drew: “They call him ‘The Professor'”

Newsflash: Ryan and Kathy in the studio, Colin in the field in front of Bats

I love Colin bouncing around a little as a bat comes out to lick near Colin.

Kathy: “How are you handling this?”
Colin: “I…uh, I took a muscle relaxant…”

I love Colin spastically jumping around at clips of bats carrying away frogs. This is a very light Newsflash, but Colin moving around is still working

Then, the quick pivot from Colin screaming “ARE THEY IN MY HAIR” to him suddenly being alert again:
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PFFFFF. Just…it’s THAT QUICK.

Not much too this one, but Colin saves it with some silliness.

Living Scenery: Ryan and Colin arrive at the beach to sunbathe and surf- Kathy and Wayne are their props

The lack of applause, and the Drew intro, makes me think that this was the first time the four of them played this game. And yeah, this playing comes chronologically before the the other Kathy tapings from this season, so it probably is the first playing.

Colin does his first LS jab at Kathy’s chest, taking a beer out of the ‘cooler’, which warrants a stifled smirk from Kathy

Wayne and Kathy are already great at this game, though the pattern is that Wayne is more active, especially as a bottle of suntan lotion, and Kathy is more passive, as she’s yanked over Ryan as a towel

Colin does point out that Ryan put the suntan lotion in his hair, and looks at him strangely for it

Wayne running up and playing the waves is a fun move

Colin, putting his ear to Kathy: “I can hear the ocean!”

Ryan and Colin finally decide to surf a little, and both grab the other 2 as surfboards. Ryan’s decision to wax Kathy gets a laugh from the audience.
Colin: “Boy, my board has a big bump on the back…”
Wayne has a big smile. Ryan cracks. Drew loses it.
Ryan: “THAT’S THE FIN!”

Once the game ends, Wayne’s still shaking his head back at the seats.

A pretty good Living Scenery, though not as good as the other Kathy ones from this season.

Scenes from a Hat:

Drew: “Difficult things to say with a straight face”
Wayne calls up Colin, and already has trouble with this one: “you really should comb it forward more.”

Colin gets his revenge on Wayne: “…I didn’t mean the thing about the big bump on my ass earlier…”
They hug it out, now even

Drew gets a kick out of ‘Announcements Made over Hell’s PA System”. And he should get a kick out of it, as it’s a great suggestion:
Ryan: “ATTENTION, ATTENTION…WOULD THE OWNER OF A PINTO, LICENSE NUMBER…”
Wayne: “Tickets for Yanni, on sale in the main room…”
Colin, scaling back: “…clean up on aisle five”

Rejected Ideas the Wise Men Considered is one that gets a ton of hits from all 4
Wayne: “Mary, we have brought this, a Playstation 2 for the young one”
Kathy:
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Ryan, to Colin: “…you can’t give him a PORK ROAST.”
I love this one. Just the tone Ryan uses.

Colin, with a truly smart one: “…water skis.”
It takes the audience a moment, but it’s a nice one

Ryan: “They call it…A THONG.”
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Like last show’s, very light, quick, and similar to a CW round. I’m liking these shorter ones, even if it’s harder for them to really be knockout playings.

World’s Worst: TV Advertisement 

Drew and Wayne do the easy ones themselves:
Drew: “Hi, I’m Drew Carey for Slimfast.”
Wayne: “Hi, I’m Wayne Brady for the DarkRight2000 Tanning Bed”
Drew has fun with Wayne’s little pointing stance there, and they do it together. Two Masked Singer contestants pointing like mad.

Colin: “It’s a breathmint…AND A SUPPOSITORY!”
Oh, Colin..

Ryan: “And if you act by midnight, we’ll throw in one of Drew Carey’s people’s choice awards!”
[Why does this sound like a line he’d use in GH?]

Colin: “Aluminum- the condom you can trust!”

Ryan: “Is your penis too small. Well let ya-…AH SHIT.”
Wayne, saving Ryan’s: “Is your penis too small?” [bursts out laughing]

Wayne: “Do you have problems with dialects? Order Colin Mochrie’s guide to dialects in different countries!”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2020-02-06 at 2.07.17 PM.png
Wayne: “You get French, ‘HELLOOO’, Spanish, ‘HELLOOO’, Indonesian, “HELLOOO!”
BUZZ
I always laugh at the Indonesian one just being louder and angrier than the other 2

Colin finally gets Wayne back tho: “The Wayne Brady surfboard, with a bump big enough to sit on!”
Wayne loves this one, and Drew and Colin high-five

A VERY STRONG World’s Worst, with some great material from all 4, even Colin, who’s usually quieter at this game.

Overall: A solid show with one or two great-if-not-classic moments. Newsflash was the only game I didn’t really like, and I can definitely say I’ll remember Director, Living Scenery and World’s Worst from this one. There was a runner, and I do like how it brought out some escalated ribbing from Wayne and Colin, but it didn’t happen til halfway through, which gave the first half some time to breathe. Also, Colin and Wayne had the best showings tonight, giving fun performances and lots of energy to a show that would have been standard in another case. Kathy’s still being under-edited, but what else is new?

Show Winner: Kathy
Best Performer: Colin. From HD on, he was slaying this show.
Worst Performer: Kathy didn’t have much to do other than HD.
Best Game: Hollywood Director. All four were thinking of hysterical stuff at every moment, and the accent thing only added to it all.
Worst Game: Newsflash was light.

COMING UP NEXT: For our penultimate S4 show, we get a Greg episode from a taping that already impressed me in episode 23. This episode has more things going on, more runners, and so much more funny energy.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E22, or Have You Read My Headlines?

From one Kathy show from a heralded taping to another. This one comes from the same taping as Episodes 2 (where Kathy didn’t say anything) and Episode 6 (where Kathy says things and Colin grabs everyone’s privates).

Drew highlights a headline he got from ‘Desert TV News’, which is a front page newspaper insert from some west coast paper, that’s a BIG photo of Colin, saying “zany host of the clear, clever and witty British game show WL”, which catches Colin off-guard. Obviously they got some details wrong, and Drew’s just screwing with their exposure. Also kind of a fun portrait of the era.

Questions Only: Tensions rise in the cottage where Snow White and the Seven Dwarves live

Drew, introing the first game, has to leaf through nine different cards on his desk looking for the right one, finally getting to ‘Questions Only’

Wayne: “You using my toothbrush?”
Kathy: “Aren’t you supposed to be HAPPY?”
Kathy has been growing on me lately

After Kathy has a crude remark
Wayne: “Have you ever had your butt kicked by 6 other dwarves?”
And then Wayne just stacks the rest of them up, which is a very fun visual

Wayne, after another Kathy line: “do you WANT an apple stuffed in your trachea?”
Kathy: “What are you, some kind of witch?”
Wayne, saving himself after a few seconds: “…did you know…La Bruja is witch in Spanish?”
Kathy, nearly losing it herself: “…are you being condescending?”
Wayne: “was that ALMOST a question?”
Kathy: “…damn!”
That was some awesome back-and-forth. Wayne fives the six stacked dwarves, which is a fun touch

Wayne listing off a bunch of rejected dwarves [“…pegleg…hairlip”] before realizing he’s not doing a question is still pretty funny

Ryan has a fun move in naming Colin ‘Groupie’, in the spirit of other dwarves
Colin: “d’you know anyone else who can get a band together like THAT?”
Ryan, perfectly delivered: “…YOU’RE *THAT* GROUPIE?”
Colin, back to the opening: “…have you read my headlines?”

Colin: “Why are you so insulting to me?”
Ryan: “…why are you asking so many questions?”
Colin: “Do I have to teach  you a lesson?”
Ryan: “Would you?”
Colin: “do we have the same idea in mind?”
Ryan: “…heh heh heh…”
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Obviously an extra round of this was cut, but this was STRONG, man. Wayne and Kathy were awesome together, and Ryan and Colin were awesome together. Just funny, impressive stuff

Hollywood Director: A 1950s teenage couple, Kathy and Ryan, are kissing passionately in their car, motorcycle cop Wayne rides in because he suspects they’re dangerous criminals who are carrying concealed weapons

Drew: “…NOW…let’s go onto-”
Ryan, under him, in a very deep voice: “AND NOWWWW…”
My god, we’re so goofy in this episode. I love it.

Drew: “And they’re kissing passionately in their car…cause they’re both married and they wanna cheat on TV.”
Ryan: [pops a mint]

Ryan, as Wayne pulls up: “…quick, I’ve had a Coke, get behind the wheel.”

Wayne has a clever blocking move as Kathy steps out of the car, which is right near where he pulled up, going “…don’t hit the bike.”

Wayne, in the trunk: “Well, look what we got here. We got ourselves a Coca-Cola!”
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PERFECT. Like a Wayne’s World moment

Ryan: “It’s hard for me to get the reality of the scene. Unlike you, I wasn’t alive in the 50s.”
Colin just…stares at him. Doesn’t say anything. Then, finally, mutters “good one.”

Colin: “We need something that appeals to the masses.”
Ryan: “YES!”
Colin: “…don’t agree with me.”
Wayne, smirking: “NO.”

The AFV style is very similar to the Paul Merton slapstick routine, with various things hitting all 3. Wayne pops the trunk and it hits him in the face, which got a nice reaction from me

Colin: “NO ONE GOT HIT IN THE CROTCH WITH A BALL.”

For the Peckinpah style, I love the reveal of Kathy unhooking from Ryan’s braces to find that he’s slumped over dead.

The slow-mo action that Kathy and Wayne do is pretty great, too

Kathy and Ryan trying to kiss while numb from novocaine is a very silly visual

And Ryan’s novocaine mumbling is always gonna make me laugh

The ending is even funnier with mushmouths- Wayne puts up the Coke, and instead of just him turning to the camera, ALL THREE OF THEM DO, WITH MUMBLING. It’s so damn goofy
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Very funny HD. I got a lot from all of the styles, and it feels like Colin’s becoming more confident in this role.

Drew: “1000 points to everyone, especially you, Colin.”
Ryan: “He’s the best host we’ve ever had!”
HA

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Joe, the pool guy, as Eminem

Wayne does a very strong rap, and I do like that it’s not 100% Eminem, mostly because Eminem is kinda bad. His flow is pretty nice though, and his lyrics are smart enough to keep things going.

Wayne: “And when he’s finished, man don’t break it
Joe takes off and swims butt-naked”

Wayne even has the audience help him out on the chorus, which is the sign of a strong performer. Surprised he hasn’t needed them too much lately

A very fun number, and some strong stuff from Wayne

Number of Words: From Titanic, Colin is Jack and Kathy is Rose and they’re making out on the deck when Wayne, her horrified fiancee, and Ryan, the ship’s captain, come to tell them that the boat has hit an iceberg
Colin – 5 words
Kathy – 2 words
Wayne – 4 words
Ryan – 3 words

Kathy: “Oh, Jack”
Colin, being very literal: “ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE.”

Wayne, entering: “Rose…what the hell?”
Colin: “Oh, no, your disgruntled fiance.”
Ryan: “WE’RE GOIN DOWN.”

Ryan: “I’M SO DRUNK.”
How is Ryan taking the passé character and making THAT funny?

Colin: “SHE WANTS TO BE WITH…” [points to self]

Colin: “Riches don’t matter to her.”
Kathy, choosing Wayne: “…oh yeah.”
Ryan: “WATCH OUT, RATS.”
They all dance to avoid the rats. So goofy

Wayne, making the most of his allotment: “QUICKLY, ROSE…..TO BOATS.”

Ryan: “Captain goes first.”
Colin: “Captain goes down with ship!”
Ryan: “…who says so?”
Colin: “…the Captain’s book right here…”
Ryan: “…don’t follow that!”

Colin, distracting Wayne: “LOOK BEHIND YOU, A BIG ELEPHANT.”
[…counts on fingers]

Ryan, without a better ending: “…I’m so drunk.”
Okay, so in lieu of a better ending line, the editors definitely went back to the FIRST TIME he said that and used a different angle. Which is kinda lazy

A bit clumsy, but still a fun round of this.

Helping Hands: Kathy is a frustrated customer trying to get through the express line at a supermarket, Ryan, hands by Colin, is the loud-mouthed, busybody checker

Ryan, almost immediately, into his mic: “PRICE CHECK ON PEACH PLEASE.”

I like that Kathy and Ryan are establishing a backstory and characters in the midst of the obvious food uses.

Ryan, with twinkies: “I would never be caught dead eating any of these [smirk]…but just to prove a point…”

Ryan: “Hmm, they’re better than I thought, they have a soft, creamy filling.”
Kathy: “THOSE ARE MINE!”
Ryan: [eats more]

Ryan, mouth full: “OH. I’M PHORRY. I’M EATING YOUR FOOD.”
and…he spits it out

An  ID Dispute leads to Ryan shaking up a can of beer, knowing full well what’s going  to happen
Wayne and Drew:
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The eventual fizz is light, but the foam spills all over the floor towards Kathy

Ryan has a sip from the beer…and then spits it into the paper bag

Ryan has a very nice suggestive look at Kathy once he pulls out the cucumber. He snaps it in half, and Colin just rubs the ends on his shirt, which is a fun move

Colin has a grab at Kathy’s shirt which makes Ryan crack up, as he’s perhaps flashing back to Party Quirks.

Ryan: “my mouth is so dry…I COULD USE ANOTHER TASTY BEER.”

We end on the visual of Ryan trying to brush his teeth using only Colin’s finger.

A pretty fun Helping Hands. A lot more substantial in terms of character, and with some fun stuff from Kathy in support, but man, Ryan went through the ringer. Colin’s finger, too.

Props: Wayne & Colin vs. Ryan & Drew

Colin, prop on head: “I see a tall, dark stranger…”
Wayne: “dude, that’s ME.”

I love Drew’s goofy yell after being caught in a bear trap

Screen Shot 2020-01-30 at 7.34.20 PM.pngColin: “I am your MOTHER, Luke Skywalker”
I laughed my ass off at this one as a kid

Screen Shot 2020-01-30 at 7.35.21 PM.pngColin: “What causes impotence? Let’s go to the model…”
HA

A pretty good props round, though the better ideas came from Colin and Wayne

Overall: I really liked this one. It wasn’t too showy, and it was just a strong assortment of games from a group that seemed really on all night. Questions Only, Director and Helping Hands were my favorites, but there was enough charm in the rest of it as well, especially minor stuff like Number of Words and Song Styles. I also like that, again, we’re seeing more of Kathy, and she’s having more cool moments in Questions, Director and HH. Wayne also had a big night, coming in huge during the first half.

Show Winner: Kathy
Best Performer: Wayne barely squeezes by Ryan and Colin just for how good he was in Director and Song Styles.
Worst Performer: I’m giving it to Kathy only because the other 3 were deadlocked for first.
Best Game: Director. I nearly gave it to Questions, but Director was really fully-formed tonight.
Worst Game: Props, by default.

COMING UP NEXT: A new Greg taping appears, which is nice, because he did 3 tapings this season and so far we’ve only seen one of them. This one is a prelude to a much more famous episode coming in 7 shows, but it still has some fun moments.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E21, or THIS Is How You Got Two Shows…

Considering my rave reviews on E8, you’re probably expecting me to really enjoy its sister show, 4×21…which I do, but for different reasons.

There aren’t many mentions of the tape recorder, or head-licking, or other events from this taping. There’s an equally good runner, some great games, and it exists fully autonomously in relation to the other, HUGE one it came from.

But yeah. Also, it uses Kathy a lot. Which helps.

Meet the Family: Wayne meets fiancee’s parents Colin, Rain Man, and Ryan, a dominatrix

A NEW GAME that would only be broadcast once. This comes off the heels of the big hit movie Meet the Parents, and has little more than its sole concept

I love Colin’s smile when he realizes he’s not playing the woman

By the time Kathy opens the door, Ryan’s already twisting Colin’s nipple. We’re off to a great start

Wayne, awkwardly, to Ryan: “May I take your, uh..rubber?”

Ryan is clearly having fun with his, thinking of all sort of ways to tie up or whip Wayne

Then, Ryan takes the central cake and licks it off of Colin, because…sure.

AND THAT’S THE SCENE. My gosh is this concept thin. That’s probably why they didn’t play it very often, as it’s very hard to establish a so what when it’s so based around ‘you, do your thing for a bit’

Ryan, awkwardly: “I don’t really know what dominatrixes do…IF they hook electricity up to people’s nipples, I wouldn’t know about that sort of thing…”

Wayne: “We should do that scene again…”
I know he’s probably joking because of all that Ryan put him through, but THEY REALLY SHOULD HAVE. I have no idea why they aired that. That scene just blew up.

Song Styles: Wayne sings a song about Goats in the style of West Side Story- the other 3 do backup

Thank god, a game I have GOOD things to say about.

Wayne has a ‘HA-HA’ when the other 3 come up for backup.

The opening visual, of everyone doing goat impressions and wandering around the stage, is VERY funny

Wayne’s lyrics in this are WAY better than the bank teller ones:
“When you’re a goat, you can eat anything you want
When you’re a goat, you’ve got two horns you can flaunt!”

Colin and Ryan are doing a great job with silent support- Ryan’s running around the back, Colin’s helping Wayne with some motions. Kathy’s just wandering around with her head down

Wayne: “When you’re a goat, the barnyard is your place
You’ve got 2 nubby things, and a little mustache on your face”

Suddenly, Kathy gets the idea to just start running her head into Colin. Which the audience slowly begins to respond to, but which IMMEDIATELY confuses Colin.
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Wayne sees this, and…
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Yeeeah, he realizes what’s up…

Also, I love that THIS is where Ryan is at the end of the game:
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As they head back to the seats, Wayne is hysterically laughing at what Kathy ended up doing, even going “YOU CAN’T AIR THAT…”

Wayne: “What kind of goatlike behavior was that?”
Kathy: “I was ramming, and then I realized, no…”
Wayne, nodding: “you were ramming…”

Drew keeps bringing up the ‘lift one leg up’ goat motion Kathy was doing.

A very silly, and very well-done Song Styles. Wayne actually held his own here before Kathy brought the house down.

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Kathy, a clueless teenage girl on the  phone with her friends, co-anchors, Wayne, a haitian man who’s been unfaithful and is now the victim of a voodoo attack, does sports while Ryan, discovers the weather map covers the gates of hell and is desperate to keep them shut, does weather

This is my cousin Dylan’s FAVORITE-EVER Whose Line game. #1, all time.

After Drew makes a swipe at Kathy, he responds by repeating the ‘lift one leg’ gag from last game. SO NOW WE KNOW WHAT THIS CAME AFTER.

Drew: “Wayne, you’re a Haitian man who’s been unfaithful and is now the victim of a voodoo attack”
Wayne, calling back to Hollywood Director: “WHY I GOTTA BE THE HAITIAN MAN WHO’S BEEN UNFAITHFUL AND IS THE VICTIM OF A VOODOO ATTACK?”
Okay, maybe ONE callback from 4×08 made it in here..
Wayne: “Ross? Chandler? Call me..”

Drew: “Ryan, you discover your weather map covers the gates of hell”
Ryan, for like 5 seconds:
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Drew: “and…’why does my weathermap always have to cover the gates of hell..”

As Drew finishes the intro, and says “let’s get on with this sad news”, Wayne is still cracking up

Colin reprises his ‘all pooped out’ joke from an earlier WN.

Kathy’s is one of her finest moments. She gets off the stool, and lies on the floor with her feet up on the stool, acting perfectly like a teenager on the phone. She has the Cali inflection down, she has the angst, and it’s just funny.
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Kathy: “You know, sometimes I just wish I was a goat…”

Kathy, finally: “hey…people are lookin’ at me…”

Colin: “This just in, hiring policies taken a close look at.”
Heh

Wayne begins this voodoo attack very subtly, just indirectly twitching an arm muscle, then full-fledged hitting himself in the head. It turns into him flailing his arms and running around, then going right over Drew’s desk and smooching him, which Drew isn’t exactly prepared for

This continues as Wayne just starts chasing Drew around. Does this count as the umpteenth ‘Wayne messes with Drew’ WN? Kind of?

Colin intros Ryan as: “Guther…Dosomethingamusing, GUNTHER…”
Ryan: [bites lip]
Ryan does a very funny pointer-extending move looking at Colin, which Drew loves

Ryan’s is classic, though. In the middle of his, he realizes the gates can be opened next to him, making a very funny ‘CLAAAAAAGH’ sound.
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Ryan: “…I DON’T WANT TO, BUT…I CAN’T STAY AWAY…”

Ryan wandering around in hell is great, with choice lines like “FRIENDS, CAN’T STOP WATCHING FRIENDS”, and “SOMEONE TURN OFF THE MICHAEL BOLTON MUSIC!” It’s hysterical

Ryan, stopping at Drew’s desk: “…THIS is how you got two shows…”
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This standoff is fantastic

A pretty legendary WN. Maybe not QUITE as pristine as I’d remembered, but Ryan’s is still great, and I appreciated Kathy’s more tonight as just a character piece.

Greatest Hits: Songs of the Teacher

Ryan: “You know, I grew up on the sandy shores of British Columbia…”

Wayne’s surf rock song is cool, and he definitely has the snarl of the genre down, but  he stumbles towards the end

Colin says something very passionate
Ryan, wiping Colin’s eye: “…is that a tear?”
Colin, as Ryan missed a bit: “…it is NOW…”

And then Colin continues his song intro while keeping his right eye closed, which is a very funny  visual, cause he’s acting like nothing else is different:
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Wayne, for his Sting song, channels 1999-era Sting, complete with his new spiritual and middle-eastern influence, starting with a Desert Rose-esque vocal hook. Pretty good song, ending with “My name is Gordon, I actually was a teacher before I joined the Police, that’s a bit of general knowledge”.

After this, Ryan makes sure Colin’s eye is okay, and Colin fixes it.
Ryan: “I can see why you cried over that one..”

I do like the recurring hook of Ryan and Colin promising something, and then turning back and cracking up

Ryan zings Colin good by saying he’s old enough to remember Big Band. When Ryan says “I’ve read a lot of books about it”, Colin has a very sarcastic “OH!”  that just makes me laugh

Wayne’s big band number is pretty good, though his big finish is pretty great.

A very solid GH, but far from the best we’ve seen from this game lately. Kind of quieter in both departments.

Foreign Film Dub: Drew and Kathy act out the Vietnamese film The Rice Paddy- Ryan and Colin translate

Drew starts out by throwing in ‘YOU NUMBER ONE’ into his Vietnamese.
Ryan: “You said you were gonna be back soon. Go Yankees Go.”

Ryan: “The rice takes longer to cook than I do.”
Colin, very MST3K-esque: “Get your hands off of me before I cook your fingers”
Drew: [yelps in pain]
Ryan: “You make me feel like a young goat.”
Kathy:
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Drew, of course:
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And that’s where we lead to. Kathy and Drew both doing the leg-up goat dance.

Drew starts going back to back with Kathy, still prancing around
Ryan: “…look at the size of my butt compared to yours!”
Wayne has to call it there

Very funny FFD. Kinda short, but goofy enough in bringing back the goat gag for another use.

Overall: As fondly as I remembered this one, it was kind of a mixed bag, though at its core it was still very fun. The runner stuff, with Song Styles, Weird Newscasters and Foreign Film dub have the environment of a very enjoyable taping with so many fun attitudes. WN is still one of my favorites, too, in everything that goes down. Greatest Hits is less ironclad, especially in comparison to the other tentpole, and Meet the Family is a disappointment. But it’s still a sentimental favorite, even if it’s not THE best. Kathy had a lot more to do tonight, and felt like she contributed more than usual.

Show Winner: Wayne
Best Performer: It was close between Ryan and Wayne, but I’m giving it to Ryan just for that final line in FFD.
Worst Performer: Honestly? Colin took a very defensive approach in his games. He never felt like the primary aggressor in anything tonight, even GH. I’m also kinda glad Kathy’s not in this spot for once.
Best Game: Has to be Weird Newscasters. Masterful stuff.
Worst Game: Meet the Family was a rare gutterball of a game for Whose Line.

COMING UP NEXT: Another Kathy episode, this one a dispatch from the 405 taping, and is a lot cleaner than the crotch-grabbing show. Actually there’s a fun Colin-related runner in this.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E12, or I Just Followed All the Oohing

Another S3 leftover hanging out in S4. This one’s from the 311 Kathy taping, an alright one that’s given us fine material so far.

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Kathy, whiny girlfriend from a 1930s gangster movie who thinks Colin is her mob boss boyfriend, Co-anchors, Wayne, female Russian weightlifter trying to impress an American man with her strength, does sports, while Ryan, increasingly desperate Prince Charming using his own shoe as the slipper, does weather

We start right off with what might be Colin’s most famous WN opening joke: “Convicted hitman Jimmy Two Shoes McClarty confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures. Police admit that this may be the first known case of a knick-knack paddy whack.”
There is GENUINE APPLAUSE HERE
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Kathy’s is pretty damn perfect, though I think she took more from a Scorsese-era gangster film than a James Cagney film. Which still works

Colin, after a very high-pitched line from Kathy: “This just in, dogs in a five-mile area go deaf.”

Wayne effortlessly lifts Kathy AND her stool, which she reacts to in-character

Wayne: “Oh, that is not enough for you? You want me to lift…BIG THING, THAT MOST PEOPLE CANNOT LIFT?”
The audience, knowing exactly what is coming, starts laughing in advance.
Drew, shaking his head, passes his mug to Kathy

The noises Wayne lets out while trying to lift Drew are worth the price of admission alone

Wayne: “I am admitting failure…for I once lifted Leviathan…but I cannot lift him…”

Ryan, immediately:
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I love how Ryan can just set the tone for his character within the first shot. I’m reminded of his ‘are you my mommy?’ character, which got genuine affection from the audience in the first shot.

Ryan tries fitting Colin and Kathy with no avail. And then the piano leg, heh. THEN MEMBERS OF THE AUDIENCE. Like with Wayne’s, WE ALL KNOW WHAT’S COMING.

I do love the one guy he puts the shoe to, expecting to do another ‘GAH’ noise, only it ends up being a pretty close fit, and Ryan modifies to a ‘GAH-Uhh-OHHH…”

And then…Ryan turns to Drew. Yep.

Ryan goes under the desk to measure. Beat.
Ryan: “…NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!”
AMAZING

And he hangs himself to end his bit. Which is a very Ryan move.

Wayne is nice enough to give Drew a hug after the game, as there’s no hard feelings. Ryan, as established in E3, doesn’t do this sort of thing.

Drew: “…well, that’s 1000 points each to Kathy and Colin…”
Ryan, still re-tying his shoe:
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Drew: “Ryan and Wayne…it was nice knowin’ ya…”

A surprisingly awesome WN scene. Ryan and Wayne did so much with theirs, even if they both included Drew. Kathy’s was a classic characterization, and that legendary pun from Colin. Surprised more people don’t talk about this one.

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Ingrid, a police detective, in the style of an 80s rock anthem

I love Drew’s hesitant response to Ingrid’s job. He just sort of stands there, not sure if he should go with her or not, for a few seconds.

Drew: “Ingrid, this is Wayne Brady, black male, no wants no warrants.”
Wayne, out of habit:
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Some expected cop jokes from Wayne, like “come on over, just pat and frisk”

And, eventually Wayne goes for “lord, help me, I’m in love with a cop!”

This goes into a story of Ingrid chasing him, which is a very 80s rock kind of angle. I do love the line “my mom saw me on a rerun of Cops..”

So many really fun moves from this, but I also love the sort of social element that Wayne puts in, especially considering how notoriously racist the LAPD was (and still kinda is). It’s a nice layered bit we don’t usually get in these games.

A really strong song from Wayne, and you can tell he put his all into it. Very impressed by this one.

Newsflash: Kathy and Ryan in the studio, Colin in the field in front of roller coasters

I love how responsive the audience gets once they cut to first-person-view shots of the coaster, which is an old wooden coaster of some sort.

Ryan asks Colin how he managed to “track down” this story.
Colin starts, then stops right when there’s another bit ‘OOOOOHHH’ from the audience, then turns around, concerned.
Colin: “I just followed all the oohing..”

Colin: “It all started with the want of a nail.”
And he shrugs, knowing he didn’t have much better there

Ryan: “could you do me one favor? Just…put your hands over your head, would ya?”
This gives it to Colin, and he does so gladly

Colin: “I have no idea….rollercoaster?”

A pretty fun one, even though it was kind of light compared to other Newsflashes.

Drew: “Boy, the audience made it tough for ya, didn’t they?”

Greatest Hits: Songs of the Race Car Driver v2

Wayne’s dixie-land number starts strong…then he takes the name of the song too literally and starts singing about an oil rag, cracks up, starts shaking his head, and just sings “I want this out of the show”.

Ryan: “What comes to mind when I say the word ‘Sting’?”
Colin: “…the guy who sang for the Police?”
I love the look on Ryan’s face. My god! He actually got one!
Colin: “Hey, when he retires, will he change his name to ‘Stung’?”
I’ve always loved that gag

Ryan: “…well…you know, I laughed at first, but WOULD HE?”

Ryan pulls out another ‘simply titled’ one called ‘rrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRR-BANG!”

Wayne’s Sting impression is pretty good, and he has the inflection down pretty well.

Wayne’s Lambada number has the silly lyric: “OOPS, someone’s had an accident, my pants are damp!”

A very okay Greatest Hits, but Wayne’s stuff elevated it.

Hoedown: Got Arrested v2

Wayne: “I shouldn’t have done the bad things that I did
The only upside was i was arrested by Ingrid.”
YES! Good callback!

Drew’s has a lot of cop show puns, and ends with the line “that’s how I ended up in Hawaii with Five Hoes”
Colin just flat-out facepalms

Colin has a GREAT verse, about being arrested for so many different crimes, and “it’s not that unusual, I play in the NFL.”
I do love whenever Colin does something topical and US-related to surprise us, rather than doing a pun of some sort.

Ryan’s is clever, saying he got caught by 40 cops at once, “that’s what I get for robbin’ a donut store.”

Not a bad Hoedown. Everyone had something memorable. Better than the previous Got Arrested one, too.

Overall: We started off strong, evened out over Act 2, and in all honestly this is a pretty basic show that has some surprisingly strong moments to it. There’s the usual issues, like a sidelined fourth seater and predictable game selection, but Weird Newscasters and Song Styles were both really strong, and Hoedown wasn’t a time-waster like usual. Wayne had his best show in a while, nailing all his singing games.

Show Winner: Kathy
Best Performer: Wayne killed it tonight. Not only in the singing games, but also in WN.
Worst Performer: Kathy was in 2 games, and despite being good in WN, couldn’t outdo the others.
Best Game: Weird Newscasters. So much fun stuff going on, and great Drew-bashing from Ryan and Wayne.
Worst Game: Greatest Hits was the weakest for me, because so much felt like it’d been done better before, and one song just felt like it shouldn’t have been included.

COMING UP NEXT: Technically a S4 taping, as we’re hitting the 100th Show Greg taping again. Good news is there was a nice amount of cool stuff in that one that didn’t even make the first show.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E08, or Gotta Rewind, Do Ya?

Some backstory.

It’s 2006 or 2007, and I’m in Lake George, NY, with my family. I’m in between perseverations. And I’m already kinda getting into Whose Line, which is airing in mega-blocks on ABC family, as well as just after primetime programming on weeknights and before Pat Robertson gets on. Coming to Lake George was a family tradition every August, and it was around 2002 or 2003 that I caught my first Whose Line episodes ever on ABC proper (I wondered why the tall guy and the black guy were on every show).

I remember I was watching some reruns with my cousin Dylan when this episode came on. 4×08. And I don’t remember laughing as hard as I did that night. I don’t know what was so amusing about Drew’s tape recorder yelling ‘ONE. THOUSAND. POINTS’ whenever possible, but 11 year old Jordan dug that shit. And for years after, ‘MYYYAAAASS, MYYYAAASSS, MYYYASSS’ would be a secret handshake that Dylan and I had with each other.

[I find it ironic that Dylan’s self-professed favorite WL game ever ALSO came from this taping. The Weird Newscasters playing. We’ll get there eventually]

Since that night, I’ve considered this show my holy grail of Whose Line. Game-wise, it may not seem too classic, and a lot of the show is based around longer games and the banter in between, but everything just comes together for me.

And I’m gonna explain why. So…here’s the first episode from this Kathy taping. I’m very excited.

Hollywood Director: Kathy is an impatient customer who pulls into Ryan’s gas station where he is pumping gas, Wayne is a thief who has come to rob them

Drew, explaining the game: “Wayne is a THIEF that has come to rob them
Wayne, starting one of many running gags this taping: “What I gotta be the thief?”, and sticks up a Black Power fist.
It’s an interesting point about how WL uses Wayne, as he plays a lot of thieves and people who come into a scene and cause conflict. He’s jokingly invoking this, but it’s definitely a point to be made.
Drew does get what he’s saying, replying with “You know, maybe you should count your blessings. If this were NBC, you probably wouldn’t be ON this show…”
The audience has a BIG REACTION
Drew, in response: “AM I LYING? If I’m lying, call the co- anyway…”

Ryan: “Would you like me to fill ‘er up?”
Kathy: “I’ve said yes to that question 15 times!”
Ryan: “How ’bout the car.”
PERFECT.

Wayne, after entering: “GIMME…ALL THE GAS.”
Ryan: [tries farting]

Colin: “As the French would say, Crappé!”

Ryan gets the insult comics style down: “Looks like you blew your tire, among other things, KNOWWHATI’MSAYIN…”

Wayne, doing a psuedo-Chris-Rock: “HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED…THAT [RYAN] LOOKS LIKE A GIRAFFE WITH 3 LEGS MISSIN?”
Wayne’s entire routine, which is kinda Redd-Foxx-y in delivery, is fantastic

Colin, in a great move, casts Ryan, Kathy and Wayne as Tarzan, Jane, and “Cheetah, YOU HEARD ME, CHEETAH!”, respectively. Then Colin and Wayne go back to the sidelines
Wayne, mouthed to Colin: “WHY I GOTTA BE CHEETAH?”
Colin: [shrugs]
Wayne has to laugh at that point. This is now a runner, and it’s surpassed being angry and is just goofy

Ryan: “TARZAN NO PUMP GAS. GAS COME FROM CITY.”

Wayne, as Cheetah, eats a banana and does the same ‘POOF’ thing he did in the original scene. He shakes his head, as he’s got basically nothing
Ryan: “WHEN CHEETAH START SAYING POOF?”
Wayne: [flings poo]
Ryan: [Tarzan yell]
The timing there was amazing

Colin: “Do it like Jerry Springer guests…you’re still Tarzan, you’re still Jane, you’re still Cheetah”
The reaction from Ryan and Wayne is great:
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Ryan: “Tarzan keep thinking of mother, who was sister.”

As Wayne and Ryan get in a fight, Drew buzzes.

That was a very strong Director game. Yes, Kathy didn’t have much to do, but Colin’s way of throwing Wayne and Ryan off guard, and the way the scene evolved to just have Tarzan impressions in it, was very funny. And the Wayne runner kept it meta-funny enough

Here is where Drew pulls out the tape recorder for the first time: “ONE THOUSAND POINTS.”
Ryan: “…that your tricorder?”
Drew does it again, a bit more clearly, so the audience can see. This gets a big reaction.

Drew, whispered: “I’m trying to work it out so I don’t have to show up at all…”
Ryan, with the perfect timing: “Damn close.”
Drew, after the response dies down, rightfully: “…we’re gonna miss ya, Lewis…”

Living Scenery: Ryan and Colin are getting up and going about their morning routine- Kathy and Wayne are the props

Right after this game’s debut in E2, we get it again.

Colin gets out of bed, which is played by Wayne
Ryan: “Oh, I didn’t hear the alarm go off.”
Wayne: “EHHHHHHH”
Colin: [bops Wayne on the head til he stops]

Kathy does get a slight bit of innuendo abuse as Colin uses the ‘knobs’ to turn on the shower, but Kathy gets him back by cleaning his butt.
Ryan, smirking: “make sure to save some water for me…”

So, Ryan goes in, and Kathy just attacks with one spot on him, like the faucet’s spotty as hell.
Meanwhile, Colin’s toweling off with Wayne, and that’s just amusing enough in itself

Wayne gets to be Colin’s mirror, as he’s wearing a Kathy shirt.
Wayne, as Colin looks at it, has a shine give off from his head.
Colin:
Screen Shot 2020-01-05 at 3.35.19 PM.png
[this is very similar to his face from the 3×39 LMAD when Brad kept making bald jokes]

Ryan initiates making some waffles, and Wayne cocks down, already knowing what’s coming. Ryan exclaims that Kathy’s done. Wayne pops up.
Colin: “…oh.”
As Colin gets the ‘burnt’ Wayne out of the toaster, Wayne can’t keep from cracking up, especially as it’s the perfect rebuttal for his own bald joke.
Colin, trying to mend relations: “Just the way I like it!”

Wayne starts making a loud beeping noise.
Colin, inadvertently turning this into a game of Sound Effects: “…that’s our car, telling us we should drive it.”

Ryan, with a bent over Kathy: “You go ahead, I’m gonna take the moped”
And before we can see THAT visual, Drew buzzes

This game was even better than the E2 one, because the gags kept coming from every setup, Wayne and Colin had a insult back-and-forth, Kathy was MUCH BETTER at being props, and there was generally more for Colin and Ryan to react to. This is the kind of playing that convinced the producers to keep playing this into the guest star series.

Drew: “So, everyone has a new favorite game to play with their wife called ‘shower’!”
Wayne: “OR MOPED!”

You can tell that several games elapsed before this game, because by the time Ryan begs Drew to use his tricorder [by robotically going “ONE. THOUSAND. POINTS.”], Drew does…and then the tape runs out. As you’ll see in future episodes from this taping, he has a few more uses of that recorder.
But once the tape runs out, the curtain is revealed.
Ryan, smirking: “Aaahh…GOTTA REWIND, DO YA?”
Drew frustratedly waves the recorder around, now that the gag’s been ruined.

Three-Headed Broadway Star: Ryan, Colin and Wayne sing ‘You’ve Got a Beautiful Earlobe’ to Katie

I firmly believe these two games happened consecutively, because Drew looks like he’s just put down the recorder, and is still cracking up from what just happened, as he intros this game. This is honestly a hysterical game intro, because he STILL can’t keep it together: “Let’s m…ove onto a game c…alled….Thr- [breaks again]-ee Headed Broadway S-star…”

And immediately, he cracks again: “This is for Wyan- WAYNE, RYAN…”
Ryan loves this. As do I. This tape recorder gag has DESTROYED Drew.

Immediately we get a classic lyric:
“When I swing, high and low
i grab your ears and
Wayne: “….GROOOOW.”

“Your lobes…SING to me.”
Katie: [breaks]

Wayne: “your”
Ryan: “lobes”
Colin: “…HEAR.”
Wayne, without options: “…ME.”

Ryan finally has a fun line, as they say her lobes are “so beautiful, and so-”
Ryan: “MOIST”
Katie audibly emits an “OH MY GOD.”

Ryan just casually ends a sentence with “happy and” “GAY.”

Colin narrowly avoids a censorable line: “When you sit on my-”
Colin: “…earlobes”
Wayne: “I”
Ryan: “…Run”
Colin: “Like”
Wayne: “HEY.”

And of course, there’s the classic lineup of -ing verbs they end with:
Colin: “Rubbing”
Wayne: “tickling”
Ryan: “caressing”
Colin: “LOCATING.”
[pfff]
Wayne: “…flambéing”
[I love that one]

And when they hit that final harmony, Wayne goes high enough that Colin has to stop in the middle and hit an octave higher. It’s still a very fun ending.

Probably one of the best, most lawful, and most underratedly funny 3HBS playings ever. It just wields such silly energy and yet is so earnest as a song. I’ve always loved this one.

SO, COMING BACK FROM COMMERCIAL, Whose Line decides to do something new- they don’t swoop in from the crane shot. They instead join the taping in progress, after what I can assume is a break from Drew. Because Wayne decides to do this:
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In one of the most legendary Behind the Scenes moments, and to this day I’m impressed that the producers were okay with showing this, Wayne runs up to Drew’s tricorder, hits record, and tapes directly over his old message…with….”MY ASS, MY ASS, MY ASS, MY ASS.”
The way he does it is just so ridiculous. Like, he uses some really laid back voice, and the words bleed into each other. I always write it as ‘MYASS, MYASS, MYASS, MYASS’. Suffice to say, 11-year-old me LOST IT at this. Seeing Wayne just…walk up and fuck with his boss like that was hysterical, and it made me realize what could be done on this show.

Then, Wayne  runs back right as Drew’s coming back in, bends over as a BOW to the audience, and gets back to his seat like nothing happened. And Drew, proving he has no idea, does a Colin’s new movie gag that EVERYONE can see coming. Like nothing’s different.
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Colin, Ryan and Wayne ALL predict the punchline 5 seconds before it happens. Which is kinda ironic considering Drew’s got a punchline hidden on his desk.

So, the entire rest of this episode is like Alfred Hitchcock’s concept of suspense. You know there’s a bomb hidden under the table, in this case the recorder loaded with a gag. You know that only Drew is unbeknownst to said bomb, even if the others know. And you are waiting for this bomb to go off, and every second it doesn’t is tense. Every game at this taping must have been insane, because, as I’ll point out later, I don’t even think Drew finds out immediately after Helping Hands.

…oh yeah, Helping Hands is back. Let’s talk about that.

Helping Hands: Ryan and Kathy are two young Italian lovers, Ryan has invited Kathy over for a romantic meal so he can propose to her

For the first time, at least as we’re seeing it, Helping Hands graduates from being a full-time Drew game to being a Kathy game. This is one of the wisest moves the producers made, because Kathy is fantastic at playing off people, and this game is entirely that. Also, because of this playing, the producers would realize how lucrative this game could be for the rest of the run, which is why we still see it every goddamned CW show.

Ryan, after Drew explains the scene, with a smirk: “…young lovers and it’s not my hands, right?”
As Ryan gloats, it looks like Colin’s gonna say something, but it’s cut.

Ryan, feeling Kathy: “YOU HAVE THE SKIN OF A BABY’S BOTTOM.”

Kathy’s Italian accent is pretty good. Prime Second City accent work.

Colin and Ryan collaborate in “doing the pop sound myself”, which involves Colin’s finger in Ryan’s mouth. Which is like the 12th least sanitary thing in this game.

Ryan pours a glass of champagne for Kathy, realizes Colin’s gonna feed him the bottle, and goes “okay”, smirking, as he downs a lot of champagne.

Kathy sees a present, and Ryan covers her eyes, saying “I’m sorry my hand’s so wet…”

Ryan pulls a red dress out of the box, which leads to a very nice look from Kathy. Ryan, smirkingly, puts it to his own chest, going “how do I look? I should have brought one for you too…”

Colin just…drops an oyster down Ryan’s throat, then rubs his oyster-y hands on Ryan. Ryan…is not into this.
Ryan: “All I can say is I hope it’s the right season…”
[At least it’s not a tub of whelks, Ryan..]

Colin, knowing what has to happen next, grabs another oyster, yet Ryan somehow convinces Kathy to have it instead. Kathy has the most repulsed facial expressions here.

Kathy: “…that is one big oyster…”
Ryan: “I HOPE I HEAR THOSE WORDS AGAIN TONIGHT.”

Colin throws a can of sauce into the pasta.
Ryan, knowing full well what’s about to happen: “…WHY DON’T I JUST MIX THAT UP”
Colin: [uses his hands to mix the pasta]
This is a rare case of the actor in the scene screwing with the hands. Usually it’s the other way around, but Ryan somehow inverts the humor and screws with Colin for his oyster-related insolence

Then…Ryan gets Colin to put whipped cream on the pasta. How does he not know someone’s gonna make him eat this eventually?

Ryan takes a single noodle out of there, and tries to get Kathy to have the first bite with him. Wayne is applauding like MAD in the back.

Kathy suggests “we only share it”
Ryan: “Oh, like the puppy film?”
I love the detail that he knows what happens in Lady and the Tramp, but not the title.

The struggle of Kathy trying to get her mouth around the noodle, and Colin trying and missing at putting it in her mouth, is amusing as all hell. Eventually she gets it, and she and Ryan share a quick smooch, eventually. It’s very cute.

You can tell this is a great game because right when Drew buzzes, all three need a minute to recover. Kathy audibly goes ‘oh FUCK!’, which somehow didn’t get censored (how was this not a TOO HOT show?). Ryan just puts his hands on the table and takes it all in. Colin still has his hands in sauce.

Ryan immediately grabs a breadstick and washes everything down. Kathy’s still gone, going “that was DISGUSTING.”

Drew, to Colin: “DOCTOR, HOW WAS THE OPERATION?”
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Drew: “IS HE GONNA LIVE?”
Colin: “IT WAS JUST TONSILS. IT WAS LIKE A BUFFET, I COULDN’T STOP!”

So, that might be my candidate for best Helping Hands round ever. Everything felt like it factored into the scene, Kathy and Ryan had amazing chemistry, the gimmick of Colin shoving things into Ryan’s mouth wasn’t exhausted, Ryan got back at Colin, and that entire ending gag was amazing. This was masterful, and it’s probably the reason they still play this game on the CW.

So, after that game ends, some more games happen, including Party Quirks, because by the time Drew pulls out the tape recorder, the cards are gone, Colin’s hands are clean, and some more of the taping has gone by. This is probably one of the easiest tapings to diagram what happened when, because so much owes itself to this runner.

But, Drew pulls out the recorder “for old times sake”, and hits play
He hears “MYASSS, MYYASSS, MYAASS, MYASSS.”
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And Wayne fesses up, probably getting away with one of the best pranks ever pulled off on one of these shows. He stands, excitedly throws his hands up, and gives off a very cute “YAY!”

Props: Wayne & Colin vs. Drew & Ryan

Wayne starts DYING when he gets his prop
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Ryan sees this and goes “OH, NO…OH *NO*.”
I think the joke was that they gave the one prop that could theoretically be seen as someone’s legs…to the black guy? Maybe Ryan was thinking he could so something with an open pair of white legs?

Colin, to the audience who was quiet for his: “SHARK.”

I love Drew’s backwards-cap baseball player charging the ump.

Wayne has a great one, using his prop to ‘blow up’ Colin

I kinda love this one:
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Not everybody goes for the bass as far as instruments go in this game

Screen Shot 2020-01-05 at 4.30.06 PM.pngColin: “Ya know, I thought the Alps would be a little more impressive..”

I kinda love the juxtaposition of Ryan and Drew’s ‘tortoise and the hare’ gag being followed with:
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Colin: “Today, we bury Bugs Bunny.”
Like, one could have led to the other…

Drew tries climbing in the prop when DISASTER STRIKES
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Ryan AND Drew break, right when Drew nearly falls over. Wayne and Colin are breaking too. Both Ryan AND Drew suddenly have nothing, so Drew just starts crying like a baby to cover for it.
Ryan gives Kathy a look, like “this is all we’ve got”. She thankfully buzzes

And we end on this, which is, I think, what they were trying to do last round:
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Ryan: “I can’t believe I’m having Drew’s baby!”

SUCH a good Props round. Both sides had original stuff, and enough goofy moments to make this one of my favorite playings (right up there with ‘this is a chicken leg on drugs’)

Overall: Now do you see why this one might be my favorite Whose Line ever? Every game is not only good, but excellent. Every game has a highlight or gag that drives you through the rest of the show (Wayne’s typecasting, the waffle, flambeing, the puppy film, Drew’s snafu), and in addition to all of that funny stuff, you STILL have the tape recorder gag threading you through the ENTIRE SHOW. This works so well for me because it feels like it tells a complete story with a complete arc. The beginning is Drew’s introduction of the recorder, the middle is Drew needing to rewind and Wayne re-recording, and the end is Wayne’s reveal. The way we can GET storytelling like this out of a short-form improv comedy show is INSANE.

All four were making strong moves all night. Kathy seemed tight with Ryan in their scenes, which always helps. Wayne came alive more than his previous shows. No bad games. No dull moments. No real overplayed games [Props notwithstanding]. No sign of weakness. Therefore, 4×08 may be the most perfect Whose Line of all time. Fight me.

Show Winner: Kathy
Best Performer: Colin had some clutch victories in Living Scenery, Props and 3HBS.
Worst Performer: Kathy, but in fairness she was great all night. The others were a bit more showy.
Best Game: Helping Hands. A masterpiece. Any other assortment and maybe Living Scenery would win, but Helping Hands was just hysterical.
Worst Game: I genuinely do not think there was anything tonight that can be separated in quality from anything else. So I’m leaving this space blank.

COMING UP NEXT: If you can believe it, another classic. This one’s the first offering from a Chip taping that was filmed during the S3 sessions, and it features a running gag, and change, that make this one, well, ‘TOO HOT FOR TV.’

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E06, or Finger Foods are Over There

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The phrase ‘Too Hot for Television’ is gonna be thrown around a lot over the next few seasons. The phrase, located in the opening right under the WL logo, was used to tell viewers that the following show would be somehow more offensive or unsuitable-for-kids than usual WL shows. Considering they already had a show where Wayne pulled a girl’s pants down and THAT didn’t get a disclaimer, it’s odd.

At the end of writeups of ‘Too Hot’ shows, I am gonna explore the question of ‘was this show really TOO HOT for an 8:30 slot?’. Considering that I already know what we’re up against tonight, I am saying there’s a chance.

Anyway, here’s a show from the 405 taping, which gave us the strong E2. Good news- KATHY SAYS WORDS IN THIS ONE. [CONFETTI FALLS]

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Kathy, trailer trash woman telling her ex-husband at home what a great lover her new boyfriend Colin is, co-anchors, Wayne, nerdy nearsighted teenager playing his first game of Spin the Bottle, does sports while Ryan, John Wayne who thinks the studio is coming under attack, does weather

Once Drew reads Kathy’s, Colin does a double-thumbs up and a ‘yeah!’

Colin’s anchor name, “Pierre…causemybladder’sempty”, gets a nice audience reaction

Colin: “NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle”

The first line Kathy says makes the producers regret shutting her out of E2: “NEWSFLASH, I’M GETTING SOME!”

Kathy, on Colin: “Might not have a lot of top, but oh my goodness, makes up for it down below, lemme tell ya…”

Wayne’s is, once again, all  buildup. The second there’s the implication that he has to kiss someone, you KNOW what’s coming. He looks towards Drew, who puts up his hands for a moment, as if there was any question.

However, because Wayne’s nearsighted, Drew gets away with having Wayne kiss something on his desk

Ryan’s John Wayne is pretty sharp tonight: “We’ve got a beautiful weekend…in store.”

Ryan is interrupted by firing arrows:
Screen Shot 2020-01-03 at 8.04.54 PM.png
Ryan, with some amazing delivery: “….IN-DI-ANS.”

Ryan goes over to the camera and tries to get up on it, like a horse…then realizes this won’t work, so he cracks a little and goes to Drew “I CAN’T GET UP ON MY HORSE.”

Then, in true John Wayne fashion, Ryan calls to “CIRCLE THE CAMERAS!”

The whole sequence of him firing off as the cameras circle around him is pretty great, as they get some fun angles.

Ryan, signing back to Colin, goes “I can’t get on my horse anymore”, still surprised

Colin: “Well, that’s the 6:00 news, join us at- [to Kathy] are we on for tonight?”
Kathy: “LET’S HAVE SHEXSH”
Colin: “FILM AT 11.”

Such a fun WN. Everyone’s was great, Kathy had a really great one, Ryan’s is one of my favorites, and even Drew didn’t get kissed by Wayne this time

Newsflash: Kathy and Ryan in the studio, Colin in the field in front of Ripley’s Believe it or Not type bizarre talents

This is a great one for audience reactions: the second the guy starts to shoot milk up his nose and out his eye, the audience goes wild. Even DREW is squirming, which leads to this shot:
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For the entirety of that shot, Ryan and Kathy aren’t even saying anything. Kathy’s holding her mouth. Colin’s just going “well, that’s gotta smart”. It’s harrowing, even for me

Next a lady who can bug her eyes out, which also gets the audience screaming

Colin: “This all started after a discussion over who was better, Gary Coleman or the kid who played Webster”

Then, the second the milk guy pops back onscreen, people start writhing in advance

Then, as the guy starts shooting chocolate milk out his nose, Colin…thankful he can’t see it, does this:
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Yeah, I’m not showing that full image. But Colin’s wordless reaction is great

After the umpteenth one of these, you can hear Ryan going “Oh my god”. I don’t blame him

Then, like the Colin clips one, Ryan points right at the monitor so Colin can see this as well. Kathy has to look away

A memorable Newsflash, though the humor came more from reactions than from jokes. Not exactly one i’ll watch often, though that’s nobody’s fault

And if you thought THAT was too hot for TV…

Party Quirks: Kathy hosts
Wayne: various celebrities getting slowly steamrolled
Colin: Suspects that people are not the sex they claim to be and is trying to find out for sure
Ryan: Hunky model in a photo shoot for the covers of romance novels

This starts innocently enough- Wayne does his Sammy Davis Jr. impression before getting steamrolled. He then enters again with a different impression: “THANKS FOR INVITING ME, MACY GRAY, TO YOUR PARTY”. His scratchy-voiced ‘NOOOOO’ makes me laugh here.

Wayne, again: “WHATCHOO TALKIN BOUT WI-‘ boom

And then Colin enters:
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The way Colin trusts Kathy to do all of this is very telling of their friendship
Also, as he does this, you can hear Ryan say to Wayne, “I hope he’s not what I think he is.”

Ryan enters, and IMMEDIATELY:
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This is classic. Not only Ryan’s reaction, but how determined Colin is. They hold this for several seconds.
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And Ryan tries to pivot:
Screen Shot 2020-01-03 at 8.23.26 PM.png
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Wayne comes in as Bill Cosby and gets flattened. And in 2020, what happens next feels like cosmic justice for the Doctor:
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Wayne’s literally POUNDING THE GROUND so Colin can stop.
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And then Ryan scurries away before Colin can grab him again

HE STILL TRIES RYAN AGAIN:
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Wayne, coming in again: “HEY, I’M DREW CARE-AAOOOOUGUHHH”
Colin, of course:
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This says it all:
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Ryan once again poses with Kathy, but as Colin comes nearer, he tries doing a hint [“CLICK. CLICK.”] while trying not to lose it again

I love that as Kathy’s trying to guess Ryan, Colin’s still coming close to her chest

Once Ryan’s guessed, he runs back to his seat fast enough so Colin can’t grab him again.

Then, Kathy’s alone with Colin, who’s barely said a word.

Colin, trying to give Kathy a hint, pats HER private area…then pats his own, and spends a while grabbing his own while thinking [I should note that this happened before the Weinstein allegations].

As Kathy begins to guess [“Are you just not sure”], Wayne comes back up:
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Good lord. The fact that Wayne had to come back, and was alright with that, proves how powerful this scene is.

Kathy finally guesses Colin spot on, and they have a very genuine hug back at the seats, as Wayne laughs his ass off. Ryan, meanwhile, is reading Colin’s card, and seeing if he was, in fact, what he thought he was.

Wayne: “Mommy, show me tapes of when you used to do Whose Line?”
Kathy: “weeellll…”

Drew: “That was…amazing, Colin Mochrie.”
Kathy, playing horny: “Yeah, it was…”
Ryan, still not fully recovered: “Keith, I’m gonna need 2 minutes. AND I MEAN…TWO MINUTES.”

Drew threatens to deduct points from Colin cause “I was sitting here the whole time, waiting for ya to come over…”
Colin: “OH, THERE’S NO DOUBT ABOUT YOU, MY FRIEND.”

A truly classic game of Party Quirks, with Colin doing some of the funniest imaginable stuff, and sending Wayne and Ryan’s fight-or-flight into overdrive. Yes, it’s a bit odd to watch in the wake of the MeToo era, but…I have no doubt that Colin didn’t mean anything by grabbing everyone. He was very comfortable with his cast, and wasn’t trying to do anything dirty other than what the card said. Kathy still talks to him, as do the other 2, so I’m not worried.

Also, for the record, I used the uncensored version for screencaps. The censored version wasn’t necessary because you’re censoring…grabbed privates over clothes? US censorship is weird.

Show Stopping Number: Ryan, Colin & Wayne are in a post office

Ah yes, the game that keeps running gags going, right after a potential running gag. This’ll go well.

Ryan immediately dreads this game

Ryan: “…someone’s stealing the stamps.”
Colin: “…let’s take a coffee break and think about that.”
This is already a great laugh line, but Drew does the smart thing and makes it the buzzer line

Colin’s eventual song is pretty fun:
“LET’S TAKE A COFFEE BREAK AND THINK ABOUT THAT.
WHERE DID THE STAMPS GO? THIS AND THAT.
DID SOMEBODY LICK THEM. DID SOMEBODY STEAL THEM.
I DON’T KNOW BUT THEY’RE *GONE*” [FLAILS]

Ryan reveals Colin had them in his pockets
Colin, as if he DIDN’T just sing a whole musical number about this: “…oh yeah, I forgot”

I love Colin’s concerned, fast-paced babbling [“WHATWOULDIBEDOINGWITHSTAMPS”]. Sounds like a desperate John Lithgow

Colin: “I’m addicted to the sticky stuff on the back”

Ryan, in his song: “Stealing stamps? That’s kinda heinous
I can’t think straight since you grabbed my penis.”
AND NOW WE’VE GOT A CALLBACK
Laura and Linda have a visible reaction to this

Colin has a good acting moment to Wayne, as a new employee: “You don’t wanna work here. They watch you all the time, you have no privacy…THEY WON’T LET YA LICK THE STAMPS.”

Wayne’s buzz line is “I’m an expert marksman.” Ryan has a good reaction to this being his buzz line

A pretty good game of this, with fun stuff from everyone, though it was a bit light.

World’s Worst: Person to share a Lifeboat with

Drew, as Clinton: “I did not have sex with that woman, just like I’m not gonna have sex with you” [removes shirt]
GREAT START

Ryan, I believe, makes his first World’s Worst Michael Bolton joke here.

Colin:
Screen Shot 2020-01-03 at 8.56.42 PM.pngAND ANOTHER CALLBACK

Drew, bravely: “And now I’d like to sing a few songs from Geppetto.”
YES

Colin, with a saw: “let’s see what’s underneath the boat…”

I love the visual of Ryan trying to do tae-bo on a boat.

Colin, emulating a UK-era WW suggestion: “Oh, we passed an island about an hour ago while you were asleep, but it looked really DIRTY…”

Ryan, calling back to Newsflash:
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Colin, with my favorite one: “i whittled some toothpicks out of the oars…”

Drew, with one more TOO HOT line: “Ahhh…now let me show you one more way I like to masturbate…”
Kathy:
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Man does that get a nice ending reaction

A really good World’s Worst. Felt very full and complete.

Overall: Oh, man. Well, if anything, it’s one of the funnier Whose Lines of the season so far. Three games are classics, 3.5 if you count the pure unwatchability of Newsflash. In the shadow of the immortally bawdy Party Quirks, you have the strongest World’s Worst round in ages and a really good Weird Newscasters, as well as a lay-up Show-Stopping Number. But above all else, this show felt fully-realized, compact, and cohesive in a way few Whose Lines do. Gags from game 2 wound up in World’s Worst. The insane grabbiness of PQ still became a running gag. Kathy had an insanely strong showing in Weird Newscasters.

Was This Really Too Hot?: Well…sort of. You have two things that actually make sense to air later- Newsflash, and Drew’s masturbation joke in WW. Kids shouldn’t be subjected to Newsflash. As far as PQ is concerned…they’ve gotten away with worse. So in a way, this was TOO HOT, but not for the reason you might think.

Show Winner: Kathy
Best Performer: Colin. How do I not give it to Colin after PQ?
Worst Performer: Wayne. Between WN and PQ, it was hard for him to really stand out.
Best Game: Party Quirks. Colin chasing after Ryan and Wayne to frisk them is one of the funniest things to make air.
Worst Game: Newsflash is very hard to watch.

COMING UP NEXT: So, uh…WE’RE GOING BACK TO SEASON 2. YEAH. Apparently there’s a Season 2 taping, the 213 show with Brad, that has some material left. So we’re doing it next. Right before a streak of 3 classics in a row.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E04, or I’m Wearin’ Her Underwear

We flash back to a Season 3 taping that wasn’t afraid to let Kathy Greenwood say some lines (I am still bitter), the Neon Light taping, which gave us the immortal 3×38, and the solid 3×29. This one looks relatively basic, as the big, edit-around games were knocked out in the last 2.

As Drew comes downstage, you can see that the neon light is OUT. So this was done in pickups. As was the ‘wicker bedpan’ gag, which Ryan laughs at because it’s late in the taping and he wants to go home

Also, Drew, I believe, makes a Gong Show reference and goes “HOLY SHAVING CREAM!”

Questions Only: Romance breaks out at a luxurious European health spa.

Wayne, starting things out with a very amusing German accent: “HAVE YOU SEEN MY TOWELL?”

Kathy, to a revealing Wayne: “Can you always do that?”
[I missed Kathy saying things]

After Wayne reveals that Kathy is a man [which must explain why she’s getting lines this episode, HAHAHAHA THE PRODUCERS SUCK], Drew buzzes by accident.
Wayne: “DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?”

I love the suddenly manly, near Chicagoan voice Kathy is using post-reveal. The way she asks Colin “would ya like a towel” is very fun.
Colin, vaguely european: “…do you have an extra lar-jjeh?”

Colin: “CAN YOU GUESS WHICH PART OF EUROPE I AM FROM?”
Kathy, loving this: “What do I get if I guess correctly?”
Colin: “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
And then he just forces himself out, even if he would have gotten away with that question

Wayne, still looking at Colin: “…did you see an odd-looking woman walk through here a few seconds ago?”

Ryan, as Wayne massages him: “Why are your hands so soft?”
Wayne: “Would you believe that’s not my hand?”
This gets several seconds of applause

Ryan: “…would it be wrong of me to use the word ‘lower’?”

Wayne, stumbling: “Have you ever felt-ed…this way?”
Wayne covers by taking out his teeth
Ryan, cracking: “What did you say?”

Wayne ends up doing his ‘take the dentures out and put them back in again’ trick, which he must have picked up from Billy Crystal, and it just…elevates this

A really strong QO. Great work from everyone, even if Wayne stumbled both narratively and grammatically. I think it was funnier when Kathy took on Wayne’s gift rather than Wayne giving it. And also, fun accents.

Sound Effects: Two American GIs attempting the great escape from a WWII German prisoner-of-war camp

Lisa, upon hearing she’s doing Ryan’s SFX, does a little thrust-y WOO. This…unnerves Ryan. Ryan also tries to remove his ring

Drew does his ‘DOUBLE-U DOUBLE-U 2’ snafu again.

Lisa starts with a ‘BOOP-BOOP-BOOP-BOOP.”
Ryan: “…four-o-clock”
Colin, right on his heels: “TIME TO ESCAPE.”
PERFECT

Colin: “I have a plan.”
Ruth: [pffff]
Colin: “I should never have the 3-bean salad!”

Ruth keeps thinking that they have to prompt Colin and Ryan, not the other way around. So she does a ‘quiet-gunfire’ type sound.
Ryan: “…I’ll turn off the sprinkler..”

Colin does eventually have to say “AND LET’S HOPE THAT ONLY THE SOUND EFFECTS THAT HAPPEN ONCE WE PROMPT THEM…WILL HAPPEN.”

Ryan and Colin have to tiptoe past some guard dogs, and the second Colin takes a step, Lisa does a ‘RUFF’. Colin looks down, as if he stepped on one
Colin: “I SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN WEARING MY HUSH-PUPPIES.”
HA. Ryan shakes his head at this one

Ryan: [shovels downward]
Lisa: “…uh, I DON’T KNOW”
Colin: “OH MY GOD THERE’S SOMEONE IN THERE!”
HAHAHAHA. Drew loves this. Wayne and Kathy love this. And it’s just a genius move to incorporate that into the scene

Ryan, even more genius: “THANK GOD, THERE’S ALREADY A TUNNEL THERE! It’s the girls from the camp across the lake!”

Ryan tries opening the hatch from underground
Lisa: “WOOOOOOO, AAAAHHH”
Ryan: “…THERE SEEMS TO BE A CHICKEN ON IT.”

The whole sequence when they’re trying to start the car but random SFX keep happening is great.

Finally, Ryan and Colin set up Colin to electrocute himself on live wires, just to get them to do the SFX correctly. As there’s barely a sound when he does it, Colin just does a ‘see?’. Ryan smirks, knowing how shite these two have been, and basically looks to Drew to mercy-kill it.

A pretty funny SFX. Ryan and Colin did the brunt of the funny stuff, but it was entertaining seeing the tug of war between them and the SFX ladies. They tried their best, but either they did too much (Ruth) or too little (Lisa)

Scenes from a Hat:

Drew: “Inappropriate Comments from the Priest at your wedding”
Ryan: “…way to go!”
Kathy: “Hey, that was an EXCELLENT confession yesterday…”
[man, she’s making those producers feel silly about E2]

Drew: “People who shouldn’t work naked”
Ryan:
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YES

Ryan: “WELCOME TO THE STAGE IF YOU WILL, KATHIE LEE.”
And as the audience kind of turn on him here, he holds this exact position for like 10 seconds.
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It’s basically the Ryan equivalent of Norm Macdonald staring down the audience after a joke.
Eventually he responds to the ‘AWWW’ by going “…oh yeah, she’s GREAT.”

Wayne: “…mah fellow Americans.”
…I’m not sure if he was doing Clinton or Bush there

Perfectly okay SFAH. Down a bit from recent playings.

Greatest Hits: Songs of James Bond

This week’s wildlife documentary, clearly done in pickups according to how tired Colin looks, is “Funky, the diaretic hippo”

Colin: “DOCTOR NO, GOLDFINGER, OCTO…i don’t think I can say the rest of that one…”

Ryan: “I’m sorry, was I speaking Hawaiian?”
Colin: “I dunno, I’m Canadian.”

Wayne just makes this a Don Ho number, which works.

Somehow, this number includes some more of Wayne’s teethlessness gag from Questions Only

Ryan: “I’m blue…DID I SAY BLUES?”
Colin:
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The song title Ryan gives Wayne for the blues number is ‘My Shoe is a Gun’
While Wayne’s old-blues-guy is fantastic, and the lyrics are great [“I’ve got things hidden on my body that you would not understand”], yet by the time he gets to his chorus, the title has become ‘My Shoe is a Phone’. Huh.

Wayne: “My shoe is a phone, my ass is a computer
My chest is sometimes rented out to roto-rooter”
Okay to be fair, this is a funny ass song

And yet somehow, Ryan and Colin don’t address this. Maybe this came from a pickups thing where Ryan said the wrong thing?

The audience laughs when they realize Wayne has to do a Jerry Van Dyke number
Ryan: “I knew him when he still went by Jerry Van Lesbian”
oh good lord. The audience keeps laughing thanks to this

Wayne’s Ethel Merman number is…just goofy enough. Especially the line “Blofeld, I’m assuming he’s a villain”, which I believe proves that Wayne hasn’t seen many Bond films? I mean, Ryan and Colin crack at that line

The number turns into a disaster for Wayne, as he struggles to come up with new things to say, and forces Laura and Linda to end like a measure later than they thought they’d need to

I love Wayne’s expression towards Ryan and Colin right as that song ends. Wayne knows exactly how that went, and he just goes “…YEAH!”

A fine GH. A little wobbly in points, but a mid-tier one with some good laughs.

Irish Drinking Song: Got Arrested

Ryan’s line-ender of ‘OH, A SPEED BUMP’ cracks up the panel a bit for some reason

on prison life:
Drew: “Oh, when I took a shower”
Colin: “Or when I took a bath”
Ryan: “The soap, it fell right on the floor”
Wayne: “And I began to laugh”

Wayne: “Because I’m stuck here”
Drew, who has to rhyme with ‘more’: “…my mother is a whore.”
Colin: “BOY, THAT’S A PROBLEM.”
Ryan, a little giggly: “But I don’t care.”
Wayne: “Because you understand.”
Drew: “I’M WEARIN’ HER UNDERWEAR.”
My god, Drew got GOOD at this game

Ryan: “I don’t care.”
Wayne: “What people say.”
Drew: “I’ll dance and sing all day.”
Colin, taking the prison theme literally: “I’LL REDECORATE, I’M GAY.”

A pretty good forgotten IDS. Those middle verses were strong, even if the punchline ender wasn’t as good as usual.

Overall: Our first okay show of the season. True, we had a strong start, and the top two games were fun, but GH was kind of underwhelming, SFAH didn’t have enough substantial stuff, and IDS was a step down from usual. And thinking back on Sound Effects, even that one you can say could be trumped by something like the one from 4×01. So you’re left with an alright, but amusing, show…which is fine, as okay WL is still good WL. I noted that Kathy was a lot funnier tonight in her brief performances, but the show still needs to get better at using her.

Show Winner: Kathy
Best Performer: This was kinda split between 4 people, including Drew TBH, but Ryan did more constructive work late.
Worst Performer: Wayne had mess-ups in Questions Only and Greatest Hits. So he goes here.
Best Game: Sound Effects was the most ‘live’, thanks to those wacky SFX ladies.
Worst Game: SFAH was the limpest, I think.

COMING UP NEXT: Another S3 holdover, since I guess that’s what we’re doing now, a Chip episode from the 312 taping, which has given us the Got Mugged IDS already, and now gives us a sharp Party Quirks.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S04E02, or Go On, it’s COMEDY.

Season 3 was definitely an improvement for Kathy Greenwood, as she had several moments of subtle but impressive improv work, and she got along with all 3 improvisers. That the producers would put her on for four tapings in Season 4 initially felt like a compliment to her abilities, but as Season 4 went on, it became clear that it was never about that. Kathy was used often on Whose Line because she was, in the eyes of Dan & Mark, the perfect fourth seater- she never challenged Ryan, Colin or Wayne in terms of show-saving abilities. She just did her work solidly, and never too outstandingly.

Which brings us to this episode, the first show from her 405 taping, which would yield an amusing few Colin-centric runners. Kathy has no spoken dialogue in this episode. All the games picked either don’t feature Kathy or don’t have her saying any lines. It’s the equivalent of the Simpsons episode which features Marge but doesn’t have her say any dialogue. Why would you let all these guys speak when you could easily have a woman say things in there as well?

It’s very troubling, but the show itself still goes on, as we must.

Drew’s ‘points don’t matter’ joke tonight is “just like…I dunno, good taste to the man who makes Ryan’s shoes…”
Ryan:
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Living Scenery: Ryan and Colin are 2 businessmen who attend a health spa
Kathy and Wayne are props

A new game for Season 4, one that’d continue onto the CW version, and rightfully so.

I love Ryan and Colin’s faux-serious-businessman voices to start the scene

Kathy steps up as a mirror for Colin
Ryan: “You’re looking good!”
Colin: “I am looking DAMN GOOD.”

Then, Ryan and Colin try the treadmill and elliptical
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Then, Colin gets some good laughs from using Kathy as a towel.

Then, in going into the sauna, Colin goes to ‘wear’ a towel, and picks up Kathy to put around his waist. You can faintly hear Kathy go ‘oh..’ right before Colin picks him up

As Wayne’s coming up as steam, Kathy’s just sort of in the corner, not sure what to do:
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Colin: “…someone left a donut.”
HA. This gets Drew laughing

Colin, continuing, tries to remember the name of something, and pivots: “I’m just going to use the, uh…pully-thingy.”
And he shakes his head after that.

Colin: “AH, I HAVE TO READJUST THE TENSION!”
And the knobs for that are at Kathy’s chest. Of course.

Wayne is doing some very aggressive bubbles in Ryan’s jacuzzi, which Ryan invites Colin into
Colin: “…not when it’s bubbling like that…”

Ryan has a very characteristic move and asks for Colin’s massage table, so he can lay down on Kathy. Kathy has a very visible facial reaction to this
Wayne, in response, outstretches his arms to Colin.

A pretty fun debut for this, even if it felt very ‘proof-of-concept-y’. This game would get a lot better over time.

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Sam, an aerobics instructor, in the style of Riverdance; the other 3 do backup

Drew hears Sam’s occupation, sees her stand up and notices her strong legs, and goes “…yes you ARE an aerobics instructor.”
Wayne cracks at this

Ryan, as usual for pretty girls, comes up and introduces himself with a handshake for Sam, but Wayne sort of looks at him and suggests he go back…not knowing he’s gonna be back up in a few.

Drew: “Whenever you want to, the other guys are gonna come down and join ya..”
Wayne: “Oh, that’ll be quick…”
Ryan: [facepalms in the back]

As Wayne begins the song, Ryan just motions to the others that they should just start, and they all stand in a line with their back to the audience
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Wayne: “She sings, on and on
Let’s Get Physical like Olivia Newton-John”

The other three just start subtly bouncing a bit in the back, in unison

Wayne: “Because it’s my song, and let me begin it
[feels pulse] Ooh, only 30 beats per minute!”
[Better than 210]

Then, Wayne prompts the other three, and they turn around and start riverdancing like mad.

Then, Wayne takes Sam’s hand and she starts doing a pretty damn good job of it too. Once he realizes how good she is, he audibly chuckles, impressed.

Wayne: “But let me tell you all, you see
I didn’t know she could actually Riverdance”

I do love the even more violent bouncing the other 3 are doing in the background now

A really damn good SS, not just from Wayne’s perspective, but as a physical feat as well.

Once Sam gets back to her seat, her husband puts an arm around her. Ryan, referring to earlier, desperately points to his wedding ring

Drew, to Sam’s husband: “Congratulations, buddy…”

Two Line Vocabulary: Colin’s a senior engineer called in to help at the nuclear plant when two other engineers report a leak
Wayne: “That’s not what you said earlier” and “What does that do?”
Ryan: “Oops, I did it again” and “Are you enjoying this?”

After 3 times sitting out, Wayne gets to play this game

Ryan, to open the scene: “Oops, I did it again.”
Colin: “I hurried over as soon as I heard. What’s the deal?”
Ryan, exact same deliver: “…Oops, I did it again.”

Colin: “THIS COULD CAUSE DESTRUCTION AND DEATH”
Wayne: “That’s not what you said yesterday.”
[So the line has altered slightly. But he’s still keeping it constant]

Ryan, as Colin’s talking to Wayne: “Oops, I did it AGAIN.”

Wayne: “What does this do?”
Colin: “That just…put on the air conditioning.”
Wayne: “That’s not what you said yesterday..”
okay his memory needs work, but he’s great at this game

Ryan, again interrupting Colin and Wayne: “OOPS…”
Colin: “LOOK…”
Ryan, under Colin: “I did it again…”

Colin, to Wayne: “PUT ON THAT SUIT, that containment suit.”
Wayne, chuckling: “That’s not what you said yesterday…”
Colin hushes him. And THAT is a great move from Wayne.

Wayne, points to Drew: “what does that do?”
Drew:
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Yes, it’s a fourth-wall break that takes away from the scene a bit, but it’s still a great gag from Wayne
Colin: “…he’s just there for show.”

I love when Colin starts yelling at Ryan and predicting that he’s gonna say his other line and yelling along with him [“OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN!”]

Colin finally slaps Wayne: “WHAT DOES THAT DO? Does that clear that little thing that you call a MIND???”
Wayne, sobbing: “that’s not what you said yesterday…”
Ryan, slapping Wayne: “OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN!”

A really good Two-Line. Colin had a handle on when to get angry, and Wayne impressed me with some of his deliveries and timing.

Drew: “Hey, didja ever think the show would be on this long? We didn’t either.”
If only they knew it was still going 19 years later.

Infomercial: Bad Breath cure

Colin: “DOES YOUR BREATH STINK?”
Ryan: “We can smell ya through the camera.”

Colin, pulling out a Canadian flag: “…I’m Canadian.”
He then discards it like nothing. I love the simplicity of this gag.

Colin pulls out a diorama of ‘bad breath molecules: “NOTICE HOW THEY LIKE TO STICK TOGETHER…CAUSE STINK…*CLUMPS*.”

Colin: “Believe me, you don’t need a nose THAT SIZE to smell it.”
Ryan laughs this one off…somehow.

Ryan immediately gets back at Colin, asking him to stick out his tongue and twirling a wheel-like apparatus at it
Screen Shot 2020-01-01 at 7.11.25 PM.png

Colin, with a beaten-down tongue: “DUH DIFFERENCE ITH AMATHING.”

Colin, pulling out 2 little monster feet things: “What could these have to do with bad breath? Who knows?” [throws them out]

Colin uses two colored sticks as a ‘bad breath indicator’: “if it doesn’t change color, you’re breath smells great. If it turns black…GET HELP RIGHT AWAY.”
Ryan, pulling out the other one: “We’ll even throw in this- Colin, I’m pregnant.”
HA

Colin, also as payback, gets Ryan to fake-swallow an entire green stringy prop, which Colin pulls out from his ass.

A pretty good Infomercial, but not the best. Still entertained me though.

Scenes from a Hat:

Yes, the only game tonight where Kathy COULD conceivably say something…and yet she really won’t.

For the ‘things your mother says/does that make you think she used to be a stripper’, Wayne’s ‘mopping’ motion is pretty great, and cracks up Ryan and, eventually, Wayne

Conversations that would derail a dinner party
Colin, to Wayne: “The FIRST time you taste human flesh, it’s a little sickening…”

Both Wayne and Kathy step up for one of Ryan’s, and Wayne just awkwardly steps off after a moment.

Drew, smirking: “Things Bald Men are Sick of Hearing”
Colin, coming down for one of Wayne’s:
Screen Shot 2020-01-01 at 7.19.48 PM.png
Wayne hugs Colin, and taps out for a moment, but he does eventually get to his: “we need your head to bounce the laser off of to communicate with the satellite!”
Colin just sort of stares at him and walks off

I love the motion of Colin walking back to the step and Ryan pushing him back onstage with him. So fluid.

Screen Shot 2020-01-01 at 7.22.02 PM.pngRyan: “You’re my only friend on this island…”

Wayne goes up for another, which Colin is ready for, but says “no, I just had one, I don’t wanna say any more…”
Colin, who is very on, has an amazing delivery for this: “No, go on, it’s COMEDY.”
He slowly turns to the camera and smiles.
Screen Shot 2020-01-01 at 7.23.15 PM.png
I love this so much

Wayne, going ahead with it: “Will Johnny take me to the prom?” [shakes Colin’s head]
Wayne cracks right at the buzzer, and Colin just shrugs. He’s used to it

Drew, picking up the next one: “I’ll stop it now, for ya.”
Colin: “Oh, thanks..JUST in time.”
Drew: “It was a suggestion that-”
Colin: “Yeah, stop at 10, I say…”

Drew: “If Rain Man had different jobs.”
Colin: “THE POINTS DEFINITELY DO NOT MATTER.”

A strong SFAH, mostly held up by that Bald People topic. And, again, not a line from Kathy.

Hoedown: First Kiss

I find it interesting that Wayne says “I’ve been kissed lots of times, I’m from Florida, that’s the South.”

And, on the actual first kiss, Wayne says “It wasn’t from a girl in high school, it was from my mom.”

Drew starts talking about his first job, which confused me, but his punchline, involving his boss, was “my first kiss was a hearty KISS MY ASS” is a nice touch

I love Colin’s, especially the detail that it was “wet”, and “oh, I wish I could remember the guy’s name.”
Lol, maybe it was Ryan. Though Wayne does raise his hand.

Ryan’s is a callback joke I had somehow forgotten: he said the girl wouldn’t kiss him “because my breath stunk”, and that “I should have ran some string through my mouth and out my butt”, which is a very smart and fun callback to Infomercial.

Great hoedown. An underrated one that should be discussed more.

Overall: A very solid show across the board, with several highlights. The formative games like Living Scenery, Two-Line and Infomercial are amusing but need more plays to really become great. All of them were great though. Song Styles was phenomenal, Hoedown was memorable, and that SFAH round led to the ‘bald joke’ one, which everyone remembers. However, the lack of Kathy’s real presence shows, as she only had fun moments in reacting in Living Scenery. I was missing the fourth-person dynamic in a lot of games, and if the producers had bothered to show more of Kathy rather than stacking a bunch of games that don’t have her, I would have gotten it. As is, there just felt like a missing person there the whole night. Other than that, a perfectly good, rewatchable show.

Show Winner: Kathy
Best Performer: Wayne Brady. Song Styles and Two-Line back-to-back illuminated how impressive this guy is at just reacting to anything in play.
Worst Performer: Kathy did absolutely nothing this show. Just like the producers wanted.
Best Game: Two-Line Vocabulary, narrowly edging out Song Styles because of how full it felt, and how escalated it got towards the end.
Worst Game: …once again, due to lack of any real options, Hoedown goes here. Not that it’s bad, it just is hard to say more things about this game than other, more complex ones.

COMING UP NEXT: Another personal favorite of mine, with a lethal Ryan-Drew runner, some classic games, and some great Chip work. And…it’s a leftover from Season 3.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S03E38, or You Wouldn’t Happen to Have a Suture Around the House, Would You?

After a landmark show with E37, we get another all-time classic, from the same taping as E29. Even then, you could see brief foreshadowing of this episode if you were to have an eagle eye in establishing shots.

Also, very weird that S3 is two episodes from ending and we’re ending it with this sudden boost of awesomeness.

Also, a note that this one aired a MONTH after 3×37, for whatever programming reasons in May 2001.

Oddly enough, as Drew comes downstage, the neon light is LIT. So this must have been a true opening standup? So the others were done for reshoots?

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Kathy, has had one drink too many at lunch and has lost all her inhibitions, co-anchors, Wayne, an ugly hillbilly desperate to get someone to accept his marriage proposal, does sports, while Ryan, Indiana Jones in the middle of a hair-raising quest, does weather

Drew: “Wayne, you are an ugly hillbilly.”
I love his reaction, just motioning to the crowd
Drew: “And you will be PLAYING…an ugly hillbilly…desperate to get someone to accept his marriage proposal”
Wayne, now laughing: “OH, THERE’S *MORE*?”
Drew: “No, you’re not JUST an ugly hillbilly…”

Colin introduces himself as ‘Lars of the Mohicans’, which has Drew laughing well into his opening joke: “According to a statement released by the National Viagra Association, contrary to popular belief, the points DO matter.”
HA

Kathy, already gone: “…you called me beautiful…”
Colin: “well, it was on the card.”

Kathy’s is great, as she has the character down, and does some excellent drunk ballet dancing

Wayne, immediately:
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.01.13 PM.png
good god

With Wayne, you know what’s coming. Any buildup will lead to one thing, and you know what it is. So the buildup is great, and that character is fun…but you’re just waiting him to turn to Drew. Which he does.
Drew:
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.02.28 PM.png

Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.03.27 PM.pngI love how reluctant Drew is as Wayne drags him onstage.

I do love Wayne’s cute hillbilly banjo song he rolls off, with lines like “and we can even share my tooth”. It ends with Wayne trying to kiss Drew and Drew pulling away…for a beat…until finally Drew relents and they do a kiss with backs to the camera

Then, right as Wayne eases out of it, he jumps around like hell. I kinda love whenever Wayne does a character like this

Colin: “This just in: hillbilly viewership down..”

Colin: “Now, why don’t we go over to the weather, with our weatherman, Bud Ugly- Bud?”
Ryan:
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.07.12 PM.png
[I didn’t think we’d have a second contender for game of the show, but this one’s just phenomenal all around]

Ryan: “As you can see we had a major earthquake today, an 8.1…shakes…why does it have to be shakes..”
HA

I love Ryan’s Indiana Jones stunts, like hanging off the camera crane from his whip, and then walking on the four chairs in the back. Then he scales the audience behind Drew.

Then, he grabs an audience member’s purse, goes to Drew’s desk and tries to do the ‘weight switch’ thing from Raiders. Drew, just on-surface knowing Ryan wants his mug, goes “NO!”
Then…he does the weigh switch very slowly…takes the mug and takes a VERY LONG DRINK FROM IT.

This was like a 6 minute game, and it didn’t feel like it. Every anchor/person had something fun to do, Wayne had a big stretch to shine, and Ryan did one of his most dynamic WN quirks in a while

Drew: “…can I have another soda PLEASE?”
Wayne, hillbilly voice: “I’LL GET YOU ONE, HONEY.”
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.13.01 PM.png

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Chris, who reviews video games, as Britney Spears

Chris’ website, DailyRadar was absorbed and shut down by around the time this episode aired in June 2001.

Wayne does some ass-shaking to start the song, as he should

Then, in a genius move, he starts the game moving his lips with no sound coming out, and arguing with an unseen tech guy. That, any era you look at her in, is Britney

Wayne’s lyrics are just dropping as many Video Game references in as possible, like Pong, Sega, Quake, etc. Chris is loving it, of course. And the backing track is VERY 00s Britney.

Wayne: “why don’t you review this” [shakes ass]

Then, towards the end, he goes back to the ‘mic-cutting-out’ gag, which is funny [reminds me of an Aisha-era Greatest Hits song]

Then, when he can’t get audio back, he just sort of runs off crying, which is a very funny end to this song.

I liked this one! Wayne’s lyrics were just geeky enough, he got the style down, and it made me laugh.

Action Replay: Wayne and Kathy are Newlyweds fighting and making up while doing the laundry; Ryan and Colin must re-enact

Two episodes later, this game is back. Thank god!

As Drew intros the game, you can hear Colin open up his headphones and the music sort of blaring out. You just hear Colin go “GEEZ!”. Ryan throws his on, then throws them back down, going ‘OW!’. So they clearly set the volume up to the highest mark.
Drew: “…if they can still hear at all when the thing’s over…”

Wayne and Kathy play this pretty dramatic, but I love Kathy’s randomly squeaky “GET OUT OF HERE!”

Wayne uses his strength and dynamic with Kathy as a tool here, and picks her up to prevent her from getting away.

Then, Wayne after getting down on himself, just crawls on the floor for a bit to screw over Colin
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.24.19 PM.png

Kathy: “I can’t even remember what the fight was about”
Wayne: “…I think you wanted to segregate the whites and the colors.”
PFFFHAHAHA. THAT IS A GREAT LINE. I forgot Wayne could deliver lines like that

Ryan, after Wayne and Kathy exit, says “we switched when we started”, which Wayne has a reaction to. I’m not sure what that means. I think it means Colin was originally supposed to do Kathy’s part, but they switched it to doing Wayne’s? Maybe Kathy and Wayne mixed up who was supposed to replicate who? Either way.

Colin, with a great setup: “Come on, dear, we’ve gotta get all the animals on the ark.”

My favorite contrast of the two is this one: Wayne goes in and out of his house in a motion to show how much power he still has over Kathy. Colin goes outside twice and goes “LOOK…IT’S RAINING!”

Ryan: “I think we’re all full up top: lift me up so I can see through the hole”
And that leads to Colin lifting Ryan

Ryan: “Wait: not all the animals are here, we still have no snakes!”
Colin kneels down, sad: “aw, alright, I’ll do the impression…”
Ryan: “WE STILL HAVE NO SNAKES!:”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.29.30 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.29.36 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.29.45 PM.png
Such a goofy move. I always love when he does this. He’s so casual and mournful about it, just calmly going “COME ON, SNAKES!”

Colin, getting up: “Oh, wait, I got callouses on my testicles!”
PFFFFFF. GOOD LORD
Ryan gives the audience a moment to catch up, as that’s a great line. Drew loves it too.
Ryan, of course: “AND WE ONLY BROUGHT TWO OF *THOSE!*”

Probably my favorite-ever Action Replay. Just…not only the first scene, which is well-acted…but the compact, funny stuff Colin and Ryan do in return is all hysterical. That snake impression is too damn funny.

Drew, trying to save face after Colin’s line: “50,000 points to our censor, a hell of a guy!”

Party Quirks: Kathy hosts
Wayne – The more he is attracted to someone, the faster he talks
Colin – Increasingly frustrated french pig hunting everywhere for truffles
Ryan – Carol Channing whose head keeps getting stuck to things

So let’s get something straight. Prior to this game, we have two 10/10s, and a solid 9. We’re absolutely cruising, and this is in a show I thought would boil down to one game. So it helps that everything else is great, before we get into this behemoth

I love Colin’s startled reaction to his. Ryan…doesn’t really have a huge one, which is ironic

Wayne has a funny hook to his- he speeds up like hell when talking to Kathy, Kathy turns him to Drew to get the door, and he slows down immediately

Drew, for the 2nd time this show:
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.36.56 PM.png

Colin’s incoherent french babbling always works for me

The audience has a huge reaction to Ryan’s. I don’t blame them. And yes, the impression’s excellent from the moment he begins

Then, he rams right into Colin and gets stuck to him

After Kathy gets Colin and Wayne easily, we’re left with Ryan stuck to the floor. Which is where the real fun begins
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.39.53 PM.png
Kathy: “Can I help you at all?”
Ryan, with a tremendous echo from where he is: “IS THIS SHAG, IT’S JUST GORGEOUS!!!”

Then, as Kathy mislabels Ryan as ‘depressed Carol Channing’, Ryan goes right for the desk. And…
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.41.10 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.41.16 PM.png
[CLINK!]
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.41.23 PM.png
[the realization happens RIIIIGHT here.]
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.42.19 PM.png
Kathy cries out in surprise. The audience is worried as hell.
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.42.47 PM.png
And then you can see Colin, in the back, already trying not to lose it

Kathy drops character and asks he was okay, which is a sign of professionalism. A different sign of professionalism is Ryan saying he’s fine while STAYING COMPLETELY IN CHARACTER. There’s not really a wrong way here.
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.43.19 PM.png
Drew is astonished, but Ryan, sort of like last episode, just wants to soldier on
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.45.04 PM.png
And everyone just…reacts:
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.44.41 PM.png
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.44.47 PM.pngThis is my favorite. Colin wants to be supportive, and he’s already looked at Ryan’s envelope and seen what he’s doing, but he just can’t help but laugh. This is Colin to me.

Ryan, trying to keep going so the audience can settle down, still as Carol: “You wouldn’t happen to have a suture around the house, would you?”
Then, as Kathy mimes getting one, Ryan just looks right at Drew, from where he is, and goes, still as Carol, “STOP PICKING THE GLASS FROM MY HAIR.”
The audience, meanwhile, doesn’t know whether to laugh or to be concerned, but I’m with Colin. Ryan’s just making me laugh

Kathy: “Carol? It is Carol…”
Ryan: “I USED TO BE, I CAN’T REMEMBER ANYMORE…”
Drew: [falls over onto his chair]
Ryan: “…TELL ME, AM I BLEEDING?”
[this is just something that sounds funnier when said in a Carol Channing voice]

Drew’s now trying to get Kathy to guess
Ryan: “DON’T MAKE ME RUN INTO ANYTHING ELSE”

Drew: “He’s Carol Channing who’s…”
Kathy: “who’s drunk as a skunk?”
Ryan: “NO!”

Kathy finally guesses, Ryan checks five times if his head’s bleeding, Colin looks for him and gives him a pass, and the audience TRIES to calm down.

And, as a bonus, the cameraman gets us another view of the damage:
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 4.50.31 PM.png

Drew, wiping his eyes: “Hey, it’s always funny when it happens to somebody else.”

Ryan: “There better be some extra points in this…”
Drew: “I’M SORRY, WE SPENT ALL THE POINTS REPLACING THE GLASS.”

Ryan, to Colin: ‘was that lit?”
[YOU HAD TO ASK? YOU’VE BEEN DOING THIS SHOW FOR 2 YEARS]
Colin: “Oh yeah”
Ryan, nervously laughing: “whooah…”
Colin, immortally: “it would have been better if your head burst into flames…”

Drew screws with Ryan, saying “how many fingers am I holding up” and changing the number.
Ryan: “…four?”
Drew: “ah, close enough”
Ryan: “How about me?”
Screen Shot 2017-09-23 at 5.33.13 PM.png
[this is from a DVD rip, not the cable version, but…it still happened]

So yeah…regardless of the easy first two quirks, this is still a memorable, classic Party Quirks, solely because of A.) Kathy’s guessing skills, and her way of making sure Ryan was alright before proceeding, and B.) Ryan’s sheer determination and ability to stay in character even as he’d come very close to injury. This is how professional Ryan Stiles is. He doesn’t break for something that could have injured his head. He just keeps going, because that’s what improv is. Improv doesn’t stop for pain.

Also, this game cemented Ryan’s Carol Channing impression as one of his marquee ones, and the show would go back to this well several times SOLELY because of this game.

Hoedown: Wrestler

Also, they didn’t fix the glass after the game, so it’s unlit for the rest of the show.

Wayne talks about he and Drew watching WWE, “and then we get freaky and do our own version of Smackdown”

Drew says he loves being a wrestler, but: “The only thing I don’t like that gives me such a fright
Is when I see Ryan in his little tights.”

Colin: “i am a wrestler, let me on the loose
Over the years I’ve taken lots of abuse
My head has been smacked, I’ve been hit in a turnbuckle
Because of all my injuries i’ve lost the ability to rhyme”
I love Colin so much

Ryan talks about how wrestling seems very fake:
“The way they act you think they are really dead
But can they break a neon light by slamming it with their heads?”
YES! The best kind of callback joke!

Second really good Hoedown in a row. Not bad.

Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t include this reaction from the credit reading: “i want you to read the credits as Carol Channing while everyone else pulls glass out of your head”
Screen Shot 2019-12-28 at 5.01.05 PM.png

Overall: I thought this would just boil down to Party Quirks, but…because Season 3 is so damned good, there wasn’t anything I disliked in this entire show. Weird Newscasters was awesome, Action Replay was awesome, Song Styles was fun and inspired, Hoedown was more creative than usual, and, of course, Party Quirks had the big moment which is still as funny as ever despite the overplay. Kathy continued to do impressive stuff that was more well-done-improv than funny, Wayne had an amazing night, and Colin might have had the biggest laugh with that ‘callouses on my testicles’ line. There’s so much more than the Neon Light incident, and it’s proudly…the second consecutive 10/10 show, and the seventh 10 show of the season, and the 2nd-best show of the season. Season 3 really went there.

Show Winner: Kathy
Best Performer: I was expecting to put Ryan here, but he only really stood out in Party Quirks. So I’m awarding MVP to Wayne Brady for completely dominating the first act of the show, doing some great acting in Action Replay, and feeling the most polished tonight out of everyone.
Worst Performer: Sadly, Kathy still didn’t overpower the other 3 enough.
Best Game: Party Quirks. Even if Action Replay is a favorite of mine, I can’t put anything else here.
Worst Game: Song Styles, but even then it’s one of the better Song Styles of the season. That’s how good this one is.

COMING UP NEXT: Rather than ending on a huge note, Season 3 ends with another S4-preview taping, with Brad, with one of the shortest number of games in an episode to this point.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S03E35, or Hi, Hunky Pool Boy..

Back to Kathy’s 311 taping we go [‘Amber’ starts playing distantly]. I enjoyed the first round of games from this one, as a lot of dynamics felt really fresh and well-explored, which is rare for coasting-era WL. So we head back and do some more stuff from this taping.

Hollywood Director: Kathy, a frustrated wealthy woman who lives on a horse ranch, has called over hunky pool-boy Ryan to clean her pool, Wayne is her jealous husband who arrives home early on his prized stallion
Colin directs

Drew: “Kathy, a frustrated wealthy woman who lives on a horse ranch, heh, just like your normal life.”
Kathy chuckles at this
Drew: “Has called over HUNKY POOL BOY RYAN…”
Ryan:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 10.18.19 AM.png
Ryan, chuckling: “save that card for me, after you’re done…”

Wayne, after Drew tells him he’ll becoming in on his “PRIZED STALLION”, nods under applause, going “you’re DAMN RIGHT…”

Ryan: “I gotta say…I got fired 3 weeks ago, but I still come and clean your pool…”

Wayne comes in on a shorter height than we’d think: “H’YA, PRIZED SHETLAND PONY STALLION…”

Wayne, with a nice move, to Kathy: “What are you doin’ butt-naked in the middle of the pool?”
Kathy: “…did I forget to dress AGAIN?”

Colin, to Kathy: “YOU ARE SO LUCKY I’M SLEEPING WITH YOU!”
[Kind of meta there if you think about it, with production and all]

Ryan: “YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH *HER*, TOO?”
Colin: “WHAT?”
I love Colin’s little grasped hand motion he does toward Ryan

On the Baywatch Lifeguards style, Ryan rakes out of the pool before diving into it to save someone. After he gets up after rolling around on the floor, he noticeably adjusts his battery pack.

I also love Ryan’s stilted, purposely-bad line delivery

Wayne: “I’ve arrived on my Kawasaki Shetland Pony 2000!”

Too Much Caffeine Ryan pulling leaves out of the pool by hand is hysterical

I love Kathy continuing the gag of just calling Ryan “Hunky Pool Boy” in every iteration of the scene

Kathy’s been impressing me this scene in doing moves that aren’t HUGE, noticeable improv moves, but still good foundational improv moves. Like…the same things I noticed with Catherine O’Hara in her S10 appearance. But Kathy has more time to show these off. Like her progression of just asking Ryan, hopped up on caffeine, “so you wanna go for it?”

Then, Wayne comes in on the shetland pony and goes so fast that he’s offscreen again after like 2 seconds, which is a great visual

Ryan and Kathy even make the Supermodels one work, saying the same dialogue while doing poses and not even facing each other. Kathy, halfway through, starts gagging herself.

Drew sadly buzzes this before Wayne can come in.

A really strong director- so well acted by Ryan and Kathy.

Infomercial: Diet Aid

Ryan: “Hi, I’m Jack Furlong, and I’m here with television star Craig T. Nelson.”
YES. Colin’s nonexistent Craig T. Nelson impression returns!
Drew is howling throughout the first few seconds of this, maybe just at Colin’s subdued nodding once he realizes what Ryan’s gifted him with

Colin: “First, by using these:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 10.42.20 AM.png
Once you can fit through these, you’ve lost enough weight…”

Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 10.43.01 AM.pngColin: “This is your diet for the first week.”
Oh man, Colin’s so good at this game

I love how the Action Replay headphones are in the box, and Ryan uses them for a suggestion to cut out names
“Under these headphones is a continuous loop of Hoedowns from Whose Line is it Anyway!”
He demonstrates by listening to it for a second, then vomiting. I love whenever they make fun of having to do Hoedowns

The obligatory ‘I’ve got nothing’: Colin pulls out a shower head, Ryan asks what it is, Colin sheepishly goes “oh, that’s for…something different”

Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 10.47.02 AM.pngColin: “This, you get a friend to use to beat you so that you will start exercising”

Ryan, as an encouragement tool, pulls out a feather duster, then in a french accent, goes “should I dust in the bedroom Mr. Nelsoonn?”
Colin: “That’s right, when you lose your first 50 pounds, we’ll throw in an authentic french maid!”

A pretty damn good Infomercial. To me, it’s not quite Celluloid-levels, but it was a fun one that had an even balance between the two of them.

Action Replay: Kathy and Wayne are a couple on their honeymoon entering the bridal suite, as they are getting ready for bed they spot a mouse
Ryan and Colin must re-enact

A NEW GAME, one that Whosers had been clamoring for ever since they heard the description

This begins the running gag of Ryan or Colin bobbing politely to the incredibly loud headphone music. Ryan’s really enjoying the music tonight

You can clearly see what this game will become- Wayne and Kathy are doing a bunch of elaborate physical motions so that they’ll screw over Ryan and Colin when they have to go.

As Wayne does the worm getting rid of the mouse, we cut to Colin, shaking his head on the sideline. ‘I’m gonna have to do that, aren’t I?’

Also, Wayne and Kathy’s chemistry in their scene is really damn good.

As Wayne goes offstage, Colin points at him and says something, perhaps referring to the worm bit he’s gonna have to do. Wayne cracks.

Ryan and Colin go onstage, and Colin motions for Ryan to get into his arms, sighing.

Ryan and Colin’s scene ends up being two stage actors backstage as Ryan’s broken his leg, which is pretty funny. Also, this scene does illuminate a fun leg of long-form improv, doing an analogous second beat with the same game as the first. While the game might be slightly altered here, the motions and structure are the same, and they’re given free reign to do whatever scene setup they want, which is a fun bit of this.

Ryan: “Imagine all the things i could do if my leg was okay!”
Colin: “Yes, you could do plenty of things…like what I’m about to show you now!”
And, with a sigh, Colin does the worm, and a bunch of other physical things. Wayne, on the sideline, is dying

A really fun debut playing of this. I love the ‘proof of concept’ factors we get here, and the dynamic between the two scenes, and how screwed-over Colin was.

Drew, postgame, to Colin: “Is your back okay?”
Colin: “What?”

Greatest Hits: Songs of the Race-Car Driver

After some old codger yells the winning suggestion, another loud female voice is heard screaming “EXOTIC DANCER!”
Wayne:
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 11.53.18 AM.png

Colin: “Hi, we’ll be back to the extra letter theater production of ‘Beauty and the Breast’ in just a second…”

Ryan: “You know Sol, Colin, heh I called ya Sol there”
Colin, not amused: “That’s funny…”
[as we’d later find out, Sol is Colin’s Egyptian name]

Ryan: “What comes to mind when I say ‘Lattes and Microsoft’?”
Colin: “Uncle Phil.”
[pfffff]
Colin: “His lattes made him Micro-soft!”

This show is the debut of Wayne’s rare-but-funny Macy Gray impression.

Wayne: “Because I’m not gonna catch on fire like my name’s Michael Jackson”

This is a pretty funny Macy Gray song, getting her drawn-out hooks down pretty well.

Every Honky Tonk song they do reminds me of Wayne and Brad’s ‘sportin’ wood’ song from S2. This one Wayne does is very quick

Colin, after Wayne’s fast-paced Honky Tonk: “You know what? I’d have loved to hear him and Macy Gray do a duet…”

Ryan, after a pause: “…I can’t get Macy Gray out of my head…”

Wayne’s Louie Jordan song is pretty fun, and his most energetic one of the night.

Solid Greatest Hits, but not in the top tier of ones from this season.

Props: Colin & Wayne vs. Drew & Ryan

Some pretty commonplace ones to start off, but I love Colin and Wayne’s goofiness, like Wayne’s bug-eyes coming out of the sarcophagus

Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 12.05.21 PM.pngColin: “…well, Eve, I’m flattered, but I think a fig leaf would have been fine…”

Drew, biting the hand that feeds him: “Hey, look at the new chairs ABC sent us..”
Screen Shot 2019-12-27 at 12.06.28 PM.png

Not a bad Props round, but very okay throughout.

Overall: The first three games were really good, and the show tapered off after Greatest Hits, but this was still a pretty good, if flawed, show. Action Replay was a phenomenal new game, and the newer games (AR, Director, Infomercial), breathed new blood into the show that the million-times-before games like GH and Props couldn’t carry. Once again, I’m impressed with Kathy’s scene work and improv mechanics, even if it’s very limited. Wayne felt a bit more present tonight than before, screwing with Colin, and the audience, a lot.

Show Winner: Kathy
Best Performer: Wayne Brady lifted his scenes, and willed his scene partners, especially Colin, to do more.
Worst Performer: Kathy, again, is a victim of the fourth seater edit.
Best Game: I was gonna go with Action Replay…and then I remembered Director. And I couldn’t not give it to Director after that fun work from Ryan and Kathy.
Worst Game: Props.

COMING UP NEXT: Back to Season 2 once more, with some remnants from the Melissa taping, and a very underrated moment of Colin absolutely breaking Chip.