Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E29, or QUICK…MAKE HIM HAPPY!

This is the last episode from the Kathy Griffin taping, which means this is our last Kathy Griffin episode. Generally, she had a really nice showing on WL, giving a very active female performance, some great lines, and not making too many selfish decisions. She was everything the producers wanted in a female fourth seater, and she didn’t seem too much like a ‘GUEST STAR’ booking like Whoopi Goldberg. I still wish they would have contacted her for future tapings, but…there were no future tapings.

We have this last episode of Kathy stuff here, and from what I recall there’s still some decent material hiding in here

Drew: “That’s right, if the points were a military power, they would be Canada”
This was done in pickups. Right after this, they did Weird Newscasters, and Colin’s top story was “Canada declares war on Drew Carey.” So it would have been better if they’d actually used WN as an opener so they could have this joke lead into that game

Press Conference: Kathy, Wayne and Ryan interview Colin, the first man to make love on the moon

Colin: “I feel like I’m on top of the world.”
WITH CONTEXT, that really fits

Colin: “I didn’t train for as long as people might think. 10 minutes tops.”
This game is playing directly into Colin’s hand…AS IS THAT LINE

Ryan: “How many times?”
Colin: “Well, 15”
Screen Shot 2020-04-10 at 5.29.52 PM.png

Wayne, inevitably: “Did you have any problem with reentry?”
Colin: “Absolutely not. I read all the manuals, I…worked with all the equipment…”

Ryan, also inevitably: “Kind of a personal question. How was the tang?”
Colin: “Those flavor crystals are amazing. Boy, they just set the tongue a-fizzin.”
Wayne: [breaks at that]

Wayne, who’s doing great in this: “did the Russians watch?”
Colin: “They tried to dock.”
HAAAAAEEEEHHH #1. YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT HER, DIDN’T YOU?

Colin gets it spot-on.

Not a  bad Press Conference, though this topic had been done before on the UK version.

Sound Effects: Chief of Police Colin [Police Chief Colin??] and an angry leader of the village mob, Ryan, are in a forest one stormy night making their way towards Frankenstein’s castle to hunt down the monster

Valerie’s first SFX is an abrupt laugh followed by a car engine noise.
Ryan: “That’s me, I’m hungry.”

Ryan tries lighting his torch, but Valerie instead emits a squeak noise
Ryan: “My mice are out of flint!”

Ann  does a ‘shhhhh’ noise for Colin’s lighter
Colin: “oh, it’s also a water pistol”

As they move through the forest, Valerie throws in a loud, sharp ‘GAK’ noise
Colin: “I JUST STEPPED ON A SHEEP!”

Colin: “I’ll put on  my sneaky shoes.”
Ann: “GEEK. GEEK.”
Colin: “I’m sorry, those are my GEEKY shoes.”

Ryan: “Listen to that mob”
Valerie: [high pitched cacophony]
Ryan: “…IT’S ALL WOMEN!”
The SFX are good, AND Ryan and Colin are great at screwing with them. It’s a nice balance

Ryan’s confused as Colin pulls out a gun
Colin, covering: “I just invented it. LISTEN.” [fires]
Ann: “BOM.”
Ryan: “That’s kind of a cute little gun…”

There’s some great timing from ALL FOUR with the ‘rustling leaves’ sequence, just every time Colin or Ryan moves, Ann  throwing in rustling noises and Ryan and Colin have to shush each other. Damn near cartoonish

Colin: “We’ll be quieter on the gravel”
Ann: “WSHHHH”
Colin: “no, it’s just like the leaves…”

Ryan: “We’ve gotta get up there someway, the bridge  is up”
Valerie: [LOUD SQUEAK]
Ryan: “Look, there’s cats all across the moat!”

They get to the the castle, after several cat noises, and one pained cat noise
Colin: “well, we hurt that last one”

Colin, on getting up the wall: “I’ve got nothin with me”
Ryan: “SUCTION CUPS. I invented THOSE.”
HAAAAAEEEEHHH #2

Colin: “there’s the monster down there”
[….]
Colin: “he’s pretty quiet”
Ryan: “he’s READING”
[this line gets Colin for a second]
[…]
Colin: “Must be a good book, he’s not looking up at all!”

Valerie: [loud Frankenstein noise]
Ryan, breaking: “quick……..make him ha..ppy..?”
Colin: [dances around]

REALLY GOOD SOUND EFFECTS. This actually worked as a cohesive story without the SFX ladies failing too much, and they actually aided in the humor a lot. Generally good one, and it’s a shame you don’t hear about this one too often

Valerie and Ann admit they work at Warner Brothers. Originally, the producers thought this created enough of a conflict of interest to block the game from airing, but apparently it didn’t.

Irish Drinking Song: Graduation v2

This was an earlier IDS than the ‘blood in my stool’ one, but everyone was still very cranky. Colin had preceded this one by saying to Wayne “at least  my last line isn’t gonna be ‘cocksucker'”. So this will make sense

Kathy: “my tassle was on the left side”
Colin: “my…pants were on the right!”

Ryan: “Now I work at a fast food place”
Wayne: “Now I work at a bank!”

KATHY’S VERSE IS SKIPPED? WHY? WHY SKIP AN IDS VERSE? DID SHE DO A SLUR??

Ryan: “I wish those days we-were never gone..”
[almost did a ‘with my lar…girl Elaine’ there
Wayne: “…..I UNDERSTAND.”

Ryan: “Things didn’t turn out as I planned”
Wayne, SWERVING COLIN’S HAND: “I became a rock-tucker.”
Kathy, also setting up Colin: “In fact I changed, BECAME A MAN”
Colin:
Screen Shot 2020-04-10 at 5.51.42 PM.png
“…..OHHHH…”
YES. Perfect shutdown to Wayne.

Weirdly edited, not the best, but good ending for Colin

Par-taay Quirks: Kathy hosts
Wayne – Kathy’s chatty manicurist possessed by an evil Scottish demon
Colin – Wannabe stud practicing pickup lines in the mirror who screws up when faced with real women
Ryan – Apartment maintenance man who’s come to fix things but behaves as though he’s an action movie hero

Wayne’s is a full-on character performance that he nails, complete with his usually-great Scottish accent

Colin:
Screen Shot 2020-04-10 at 5.55.02 PM.png
[deep voice] “if I told you your body was beautiful, would you hold it against me?”
HAAAAAEEEEHHH #3
Screen Shot 2020-04-10 at 5.55.31 PM.png
Colin: “………NICE BOOBS.”
HAAAAAEEEEHHH #4
Screen Shot 2020-04-10 at 5.55.41 PM.pngSO GOOD.

Ryan: “If I don’t make it back…make sure you get out alive.”
He then plunges the toilet. Yeah, all of these are great

I love Wayne throwing some Michael Jackson moves into his possession as well

Kathy guessing Wayne as “the gay manicurist from Braveheart’ is pretty funny

Colin, in the mirror again: “What’s your sign? Dangerous curves ahead?”
HAAAAAEEEEHHH #5
To Kathy, louder even: “NICE BOOBS.”
Screen Shot 2020-04-10 at 6.03.29 PM.png
I’ve watched this one so many times and have never laughed as hard at ‘NICE BOOBS’ as I am now.

Kathy gets ’em all with a little help from Drew.

Pretty good PQ. Wish there was a little more interaction, and wish  Kathy was slightly better as host, but still very funny

Helping Hands: Ryan, hands by Colin, is a wedding planner and entertainer who’s running through the last-minute details on the day of Kathy’s wedding

Ryan takes a while to get his costume buttoned up
Drew, explaining  the game: ‘the trick is Ryan cannot use his hands”
Colin: “…no kidding.”

Ryan: “You know how many weddings  I’ve done? THIS MANY.”
Colin: [sticks out hand]
Ryan: “…five!”

It’s very impressive seeing Colin catching the bouquet he’s throwing up in the air with a sizable blind spot

Kathy, dropping the bouquet: “I hope that’s not bad luck or anything, I don’t WANNA die alone…”

Ryan ends up feeding Kathy some cake out of Colin’s hand
HAAAAAEEEEHHH #6

Ryan, as Colin picks up the champagne bottle: “Of course, I’ll point that AWAY FROM MY  FACE.”

Ryan is surprised at the…fact that the champagne is actual champagne and not, like, water
Colin responds by taking a swig of it from behind Ryan

Ryan, on the sandwiches: “they’re just cucumber and some sort of WHITE…THING.”

Kathy, after Ryan spits out a sandwich: “I feel like you’re not being very professional”
Ryan: “I’ll just wash my hands in the bowl”
Kathy: “THAT’S THE PUNCH!”

For a tearful ending, Ryan realizes he has to get down on one knee, so he starts…clumsily coming down with Colin, which  is amusing as hell
HAAAAAEEEEHHH #7
Ryan, to Colin, as they go down: “GETTHEBOTTLE”
PFFFFF

Then  there’s a struggle for Colin to actually get the bottle in Ryan’s mouth

Then, Ryan realizes the ring is stuck, and Kathy starts trying to yank it off Colin’s finger.
HAAAAAEEEEHHH #8

Then Colin gets his finger stuck in  the champagne bottle, which is also silly as hell.
HAAAAAEEEEHHH #9
Once he removes it, shaking it all the while, some spurts out at Ryan

A very fun HH scene. Kathy was a game scene partner, Colin  and Ryan tried a lot of fun  things without  resorting to ‘feed Ryan’ abuse, and it was just a very  funny one. Better than E27’s.

Themed Restaurant: Kathy and Drew are on a date at the Wizard of Oz themed restaurant, waited on by Wayne and Ryan

I find it very funny that Drew says Colin has a ‘come from behind’ victory, after a game where Colin drank champagne from behind Ryan

Wayne starts out with his munchkin impression, because of course he does

Wayne: “WEEEEEEE…have many specials for you…”

Ryan: “PAY NO ATTENTION  TO THE MAN BEHIND THE MENU.”

Lots of baseline jokes for this one. Not much I hadn’t seen before.

Overall: A very mixed bag, but there was still some greatness here, in Sound Effects and Helping Hands, and also in parts of Party Quirks and Press Conference. There was definitely still some signs of a solid taping, and great moments from pretty much everybody. The show’s editing problems, trying to fit so much into 22 minutes, took away from Themed Restaurant and ESPECIALLY Irish Drinking song. So while it’s not a complete success, this was still an enjoyable episode that, at worst, was merely passable, but at best was among the best of this season.

Show Winner: Colin
Best Performer: Colin DOMINATED the first half of the show, and Party Quirks.
Worst Performer: Unfortunately, for the first time this taping, I have to give it to Kathy. The other 3 had more game-saving moments, and she didn’t, sad to say, though she came closest in Helping Hands
Best Game: I’m between Helping Hands and Sound Effects….and I’m going with Sound Effects, just because it seemed packed with more than HH.
Worst Game: Themed Restaurant was a dud.
HAAAAAEEEEHHH FINAL COUNT: 9. A CAREER HIGH.

COMING UP NEXT: I know we just had an episode from the Springer taping with Greg, but…here’s another one. With one more Jerry Springer game, a few S5 odds and ends, and…Colin setting himself up for failure in Greatest Hits

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E19, or Two of Us Need Look No More

Ah, never thought I’d use my ‘David Hasselhoff’ tag from covering the Guest Host series’ of Never Mind the Buzzcocks again.

We return now to the HAAAEEEEHH-tastic Kathy Griffin taping, which we’ve already seen 2 relatively good shows from. Now comes the second of two Guest Stars from that taping, and a relatively big get at that, TV icon David Hasselhoff. The Hoff was 3 years away from revitalizing his celebrity image with a tongue-in-cheek cameo in the Spongebob Squarepants movie [oh you better believe I’m bringing that up], and only 4 years from becoming a judge on America’s got Talent. You can argue that Whose Line helped, but the Hoff episode isn’t quite as well-remembered as the Simmons one.

Newsflash: Ryan and Kathy in the studio, Colin in the field in front of RATS

We start with a ‘let’s go onto’ from Drew, proving that there was no openers left for this show.

Ryan, starting with Kathy: “Was she friendly?”
Kathy: “She was alright, but…Miss America can be kind of whiny sometimes-”
DIRECT CALLBACK TO THE EVENTS OF E2

Also, PROPS TO KATHY FOR KNOWING HER CUE TO THROW TO COLIN AFTER RYAN INTERRUPTS THIS STORY. Most people, like Kathy Greenwood, need Ryan to keep going. But Kathy Griffin gets it. She did her homework

I love Ryan trying to get a hint out, but being interrupted by shrieking audience members every time

Colin: “It all started with some bad soup!”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER ONE

Colin: “AND THEN THIS, THIS…AND THIS.”
On the cut to a mouse and its young, we get a FRANTIC HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER TWO

Ryan, with a very obscure reference: “Frankly, the two of us NEED LOOK NO MORE.”
[HAHAHAHAHAHA]

Colin: “I am totally protected, and the refried beans helped”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER THREE.

Ryan: “Colin, HOW MANY OF THEM ARE THERE.”
Colin: “There must be upwards of TWENTY.”

I do love Ryan’s amazed, cracking disgust at the amount of nice, just random “ohhhh”s peppered in

Kathy, who’s been doing alright so far, tries to give a hint with “you used to work as a police informant”, as in ‘you dirty rat’, but Colin does not get it at all, and just looks at her, very confused.

Ryan: “Now Colin, after this you’re off to cover the opening of Cats?”
[HOW DID THIS LINE AGE WELL???]

I love that once Colin gets it and comes back to stage, he peers into the monitor, sees it, and gives a perturbed expression before heading back

Ryan: “He didn’t catch onto my ‘need look no more’ clue…”
Colin: “…isn’t that weird…”
Colin and Ryan do go into the next verse, just like that.
Ryan: “I didn’t wanna just go ‘Hey, watch out for the RATS.”

A surprisingly strong Newsflash. Good clues, good replies, lots going on, Kathy only made one mistake. Good stuff.

Song Styles: Wayne sings a Gospel song to David Hasselhoff

[what, they wouldn’t let him do a German drinking song? Too on the nose?]

David’s nice enough to run into the audience and shake hands and slap fives.

Also, David seems SO HAPPY to see everyone, shakes Drew’s hand, Wayne’s hand, knows the other three’s names. He’s pretty much the mayor of LA.

Drew instructs David to do “pretty much all you ever did on Baywatch: relax, have a seat”
Drew…there’s a very famous show David did involving a TALKING CAR that would have been a MUCH BETTER PUNCHLINE HERE.

I find it funny that Wayne does gospel here, and then the FOLLOWING NIGHT, the Jerry Springer taping, he does another gospel song. They couldn’t have switched things up?

Wayne: “and it doth say…he who WEARS…the thong-th-thong-thong?”
Oh yeah, this was 2001, Sisqo was still ‘in’.
Wayne: “…gets SAND where it don’t belong-long-long”
[Wayne even cracks a little at this]

I love how when Wayne mentions Knight Rider, David even talks into his watch. Like, he knows exactly who he is, which I love

Wayne has another crack after he mentions “Pamela Lee just bouncing in slow-motion”

Wayne even gives Hoff his own mic, and Hoff does some pumping up/backup for Wayne in a refrain, which is nice.

Wayne, in his fast-paced ender “I sold 50 million records in Germany, but 20 over here- NAH, I’M JUST KIDDIN”
David has a BIG laugh at that line

A very fun number, and David was really into it, but compared to the Springer number it’s a lot more baseline and obvious lyrics-wise. I feel like these ‘song to a special guest’ ones would be better once Wayne would ask for a detail to work off from said special guest, which would come on the CW version.

As David leaves, he’s doing his ‘running in slow-mo’ and ‘talking to his watch’ motions, milking it for applause. Is David just the American version of John Barrowman, because that’s the kind of self-referential I think he is.

Two-Line Vocabulary: Colin is Indiana Jones and Ryan and Kathy are his two sidekicks. They’re looking for the Holy Grail in an ancient temple full of dangerous traps
Ryan’s lines: “What does that do?” and “I want in”
Kathy’s lines: “Are you kidding” and “I love this!”

Colin: “We’re gonna go in there, and we’re gonna go get the Idol of Makatuti”
Ryan: “…I want out”
Perfectly timed

Colin: “Remember what happened in Persia?”
Kathy: “I LOVE THIS”
Colin: “No you didn’t, remember, you got bitten by 3 snakes?”
Kathy: “Are you kidding?”

Kathy, Colin and Ryan approach the cave
Ryan, whispered: “I want out”
Ryan’s really damn good at finding different ways to drive home a line on a repetition.

At one point, Colin tries to grab Ryan’s nose, which leads to a pained reaction from Ryan

And then, as Colin talks to Kathy again, you see Ryan slowly inching downstage, eventually yelling  “I WANT OUT” from near the seats. Something about that line is just WORKING tonight
Colin eventually has to get him back in at gunpoint, which is a fun way of accelerating the stakes

Colin: “I’m using my whip”
Ryan: “What does that do?”
Colin, rolling his eyes: “…THIS!” [WHAP]
Ryan: “AIIIIGH”

Kathy, grabbing Colin’s arm: “uhhh…you kidding?”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER FOUR

Kathy, as Colin’s trying to exposit, grabs his ass: “I LOVE THIS.”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER FIVE
Man, Kathy’s great at this game

Colin, with the right amount of frustration: “we’re WORKING.”
Ryan, also grabbing Colin’s ass: “WHAT DOES THAT DO?”

A pretty strong Two-Line. Again, Kathy’s been acing games that I’d recalled her stalling in. This, World’s Worst, Newsflash. How did I forget how good Kathy Griffin was at Whose Line?

[Figures, this is her last game of the night]

Drew: “Thousand points to everybody who grabbed Colin’s ass”
Ryan and Kathy politely raise their hands

Dubbing: Colin is a beautiful woman who’s gone swimming and is in trouble, hunky lifeguard David Hasselhoff, Wayne’s voice, comes to her rescue, just then, Colin’s boyfriend Ryan arrives, determined to show that he is the hunkiest and fittest lifeguard on the beach

And now, David Hasselhoff has to do improv. With rules. Here, my friends, is where he has trouble.

Drew: “[Wayne] won’t make you look like an idiot or anything”
Wayne: “I PROMISE.”
Screen Shot 2020-03-30 at 5.19.57 PM.png

Ryan, after the scene description: “…just as long as I’m a guy, man…”

Wayne, making fun of David just walking right up to Colin: “…look how I stand on the water!”

Wayne: “You are one of the most exquisitely honed woman I’ve ever seen in my life”
Colin: “You gotta get out more..”

I love Colin casually putting his clothes on after Ryan enters. This is usually Ryan’s move, so it’s a nice touch

Wayne: “I can’t lie- I never lie, I’m a lifeguard. I’ve sworn to tell the truth and wear this thong.”

Ryan, of course, goes back to his old standby: “I’m wearing a thong, too, but…two thongs don’t make a right!”
This does David in a little

As Wayne explains what happened, David gestures the whole thing.
Wayne: “…and I’m quite proficient at MIME, LOOK!”
Colin: “He’s great, and he has a talking car!”

Wayne: “Hector doesn’t deserve the  love of a woman so beautiful”
Colin, with a great contrast: “No, he doesn’t Kill ‘im.”
Wayne: “Very well. Let me show you the-”
Ryan: [cocks gun]

Wayne: “Look at this weapon I have in MY hands:”
David:
Screen Shot 2020-03-30 at 5.28.09 PM.png
Ryan: [breaks]
Colin: [claps]
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Ryan, to David: “It’s like ‘rock paper scissors!’
COCK paper scissors, if you will

Really strong Dubbing. Lots of little things all 4 people did. Apparently David had moments that were cut where he forgot to not speak, but he held his own, and Wayne was great at throwing his lack of improv logic at him.

Drew: “And -1000 points for Ryan for ‘two thongs don’t make a right’. I thought we were above that kind of thing here.”
Ryan: “…two of us need look no more.”
HA. Excellent callback. Hell, this line’s probably the reason we have Newsflash as an opener, rather than in Two-Line’s place.

Three-Headed Broadway Star: Wayne, Ryan and Hoff sing ‘I Can’t Live Without Your Mother’ to Venus

Annnnd here we go.

This show doesn’t have a traditional opener, OR a traditional closer. Because Newsflash had to be  here, 3HBS had to be here, and Two-Line fit better than another opener

David: “Least I get to talk this time”
A MONKEY’S PAW FINGER CURLS OMINOUSLY

I love Ryan’s move of coming around David and being the middle after it’s revealed that David isn’t tall enough and Ryan being in the middle is a better shot

I don’t think David was listening when Drew mentions “one word at a time”. I think he’s still thinking about the concept

Wayne: “Your”
Ryan: “Mother”
David: “IS SO”
Screen Shot 2020-03-30 at 5.36.17 PM.png
This is what we’re in for.

“When your mother is around me, I always get
Wayne: “…BUGGED.”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER SIX.

Ryan: “Mothers”
David: “…OF INVENTION”
Screen Shot 2020-03-30 at 5.37.46 PM.png
Ryan’s gonna react EVERY TIME, isn’t he?

Ryan: “If”
David: “YOU COULD SEE”
Screen Shot 2020-03-30 at 5.38.42 PM.png
now WAYNE has the best reaction. He’s just…caught very off guard

They eventually get this back on track, and go back to single lyrics, and composure, though David does one more ‘THE BOYS’
Screen Shot 2020-03-30 at 5.39.58 PM.png
They STILL CAN’T TAKE IT

After this, they get into a groove where it’s all coming together, like David emulating Wayne’s ‘eeee-nough’ a few words after he says it, and them keeping the same tempo and scheme to it.

Wayne: “with”
Ryan: “your”
David: “…tongue.”
Screen Shot 2020-03-30 at 5.41.23 PM.png
Poor Wayne

The game ends, and David says something to Ryan: “That’s an initiation for me…” And that’s honestly the best attitude to have about it. It’s probably David’s first time doing improv, especially a game like this, and he had to fail for a bit before becoming great and ending with a cool flourish or two. Let’s compare this to another ‘first 3HBS’- 2×10, the ‘You’ve got Sole’ playing where Drew makes one mistake and can’t recompose himself. That one is so hard to find funny because you feel bad for Drew. He NEVER recovers. And he spends the whole time cracking and making mistakes. Here, David makes some mistakes, stumbles a bit…and keeps going, gets the hang of the game, and finishes STRONG, unified with the other 2. That makes this game a ton more fun to watch, and a ton more satisfying. David lands on his feet, which is more than I can say for Drew in his first time doing this.

So yeah. This one’s better than You’ve Got Sole. A much better song, with much funnier slip-ups, and a much more endearing final outcome.

Right as David says goodbye to the audience, you can hear Ryan, whose mic is still on, go, to Colin, “annnnd TAKE ME ON A.” So EVEN HE MADE THE YOU’VE GOT SOLE CONNECTION. Even he knew what this felt like.

And of course, there’s some great postscript back at the seats:
Ryan, to Drew: “Remember your first time?”
Drew, mistakenly: “ANNND When I think about yooou-”
[SAME ENERGY]
Ryan, correctly: “AND TAKE ME ON A.”

Drew: “[David’s] gonna hop in his talking car and get the hell out of here]
Ryan: “He’ll be singing with his car on the way home: ‘I!’ ‘DRIVE!’ ‘YOU!’ ‘AND!'”
THAT cracks me up. David playing 3HBS with Kitt. That visual just kills me.

Overall: A very solid show. Nothing short of great here. And even with an usual structure [No opener or closing Drew game, no winner, Newsflash starting off], everything here tonight felt really good and cohesive. Some guest star shows feel really cobbled together, but this one felt right, though a lot of that involved making sure Newsflash started to set up the end of Dubbing. Wayne and Kathy had great nights, despite Kathy not appearing in many games late.

The Hoff did not disappoint, and was fun and enthusiastic in all his games. He knew he wasn’t great at improv, but he didn’t let that stop him from having a good time, AND the panel from delivering a good show. Dubbing and Three-Headed were stronger BECAUSE of the effort he put in, and how fun he could be off the cuff. He also definitely got the concept of working WITH people, as his collaboration in all three games made them look even better. There’s a reason why he’d stay friendly with Colin and Wayne when it came time to film that inferior Fred Willard show I need not mention.

Show Winner: N/A
Best Performer: Wayne Brady, carrying all three guest games.
Worst Performer: Ryan honestly had the least to do, and broke most often.
Best Game: Three-Headed. A classic for a reason, and the Hoff learned as it went on.
Worst Game: Song Styles? Maybe it’s because we just had the Springer one, but it felt very inferior in comparison.
Final HAAAAEHH Count: Six. Same as 5×19
Guest Star Rating: 9/10. He made mistakes, but David Hasselhoff was up for anything, was having a great time, and boosted Dubbing and Song Styles just by his zeal for it. And having his vocal flourishes in 3HBS definitely helped as well.

COMING UP NEXT: My favorite episode growing up. A game from this one made me laugh harder than I’d ever laughed to this point. And it comes from the same taping as the Richard Simmons show. Yeah, THIS ONE.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E15, or Improv AND a Medical Report!

Just as she’s released from the hospital in real life, we have another Kathy Griffin episode, back to her S5 taping complete with ‘HAAAEEEEHH’ lady bellowing every time there’s something funny. Knowing this episode, we’ll be hearing that a lot.

Drew sort of dances down the stairs dangerously this show
Ryan: “Can you come down the stairs normal, I’ve got a mortgage.”

Questions Only: passions erupt at a luxury beach resort

Drew starts, as this is the first game of the taping, by saying ‘Kathy Griffin, one of the  funniest women in the whole wide world, nice to have you on the show”
I’d honestly agree with Drew. Kathy Griffin might be one of the funniest women performers in the show’s history. Not THE, as Josie Lawrence and Heather Anne Campbell still exist, but ONE OF.

Kathy gets the game IMMEDIATELY, as Wayne starts massaging her back: “Can you do it faster?”

Wayne: “Stella, you want your groove back?”

Wayne: [removes progressively smaller pairs of underwear]
Kathy: “annnd…what’s his name?”
Wayne: “would you like to meet Captain Willie?”

Ryan, 5 lines into his scene with Wayne: “…why aren’t you wearing any clothes?”

Wayne accidentally goes for a pun response to Ryan’s ‘WOULD I?’ [‘PEG LEG?’] instead of doing a better question

Colin: “…am I too late for the passions erupting?”

Ryan, testing Colin, asks if he’s ‘Fluffy the mime?’
Colin mimes a question mark. Ryan’s AMAZED

Ryan: “How much time did you spend in the joint?”
Colin: “Do you mean jail?”
Ryan: “What’s the joint mean to you?”

Colin, waving his arms: “WHY ARE ALL THESE THINGS SO…FRESH AND STRANGE TO ME?”
Ryan, caught off guard by the hand waving: “…I can’t…”
BUZZ
In the master, Drew’s still making fun of Colin’s hand waving

Colin, to Kathy: “Where have you been all my life?”
Kathy: “What are you SAYING, tiger?”
Colin, exact same tone as before: “…Where have you been all my life?”

Kathy: “Is this too…hot for you?”
Colin, goofily dancing and gyrating: “IS THIS?”
Kathy: ‘…yes.”
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Really fun round of this. Very substantial, and Kathy fit right in with the other 3. Also, no sign of HAAAEEEEHH lady yet.

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Kathy, Clueless teenage Whose Line? groupie who has made it onto the show, co-anchors, Wayne, The dancing host of Soul Train gradually morphing into a goofy white guy then back again, does sports while Ryan, Vegas stage magician who only knows silly “Dad” tricks but performs them as if he’s David Copperfield, does weather

Drew, on Wayne’s: “Oh boy…you’re gonna get a letter…”

Colin: “Welcome to the 6:00 news-”
Kathy: “AND YOU JUST MAKE THAT UP? OH MY GOD.”
That is perfect. Right from the getgo.

Colin’s top story: “A fight was started downtown by a man wearing a suit made completely of mirrors. The police said the man apologized once he had time to sit down and reflect.”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER ONE. THERE WE GO. I WAS WORRIED.

Kathy’s freaking out about that Colin joke, turns and “OHHH MY GOD, DREW CAREY!”
She kisses him on the cheek, which is honestly the most flattering thing to ever happen to Drew in this game.

Wayne does a good job with his, slowly morphing into someone really uncool, but once he has a goofy white guy from the audience play him at the end, he has a hard time getting him to get the gist of the joke. Takes him more than a second.

Somehow, the goofy guy starts dancing and getting back on the audience’s side, which is NOT something Wayne expected

Colin, finally: “Wow…that was sad.”

Ryan also tries some goofiness, like putting his hand up his sleeve and looking like it appears, and doing finger tricks.

Then, Ryan goes to the audience and asks an audience member for their jacket.
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 10.39.02 PM.png
That person down there, handing Ryan the jacket, is Elyse, who was one of the pioneering Whosers of the Drew run LA tapings. She was one of the prominent Whosers who attended six of the ten Season 5 tapings, and wrote reports online for fans to predict upcoming episodes with. I say this, because…
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 10.40.44 PM.png
Ryan: “Nothing in this jacket…EXCEPT…for a pad of paper and a pen, but I’m not gonna use that…”
Yeah, that pad and pen was what Elyse was using to document games and happenings from the taping. Firstly, it was hard for her to do this one BEING IN THE FRONT ROW, but also…Ryan just pointed out her tell to everyone. Her pad’s been exposed. Now people who are in the know KNOW she’s taking notes.
I often wonder what would have happened if there was another round of LA tapings in 2002. Would the producers be policing pads and pens thanks to this incident? Would Elyse, Michelle, LKK and the other prominent reporting Whosers even be ADMITTED? It’s only a what if, because this was the last round of tapings for the Drew era.

Ryan uses the jacket to duck under and perform an escape act. Colin’s just amused as hell. He eventually appears in the audience, after annoying several row members

Ryan, after running back from the audience, then returning Elyse’s jacket, and getting back to the seats, acts like nothing’s happened.
Drew: “…quite a workout ya got there…”

An alright WN, but the antics of audience members were funnier than some of the actual quirks.

Irish Drinking Song: Graduation v1

Oh boy.

Ryan, on the audience applauding for this, cracks to Colin: “It’s a crowd favorite”
I’m guessing this was during pickups

Kathy: “My mom and dad are so proud”
Colin: “I am so happy”
Ryan: “There she is, she’s loud!”

I love the randomness of Wayne specifying “To DeVry I’m going!”

Ryan: “Then I’ll have a wife and kids”
Wayne: “And then I’ll read the bard”
Wayne cracks, as he had nothing

Kathy has trouble rhyming with ‘proud’, so Ryan has her go with ‘day’
Wayne: “I’m glad I graduated”
Kathy: “And wish I wasn’t gay!”

Ryan, progressing the story: “Today I just got laid off”
Wayne: “Ah…good grash.”
Kathy: “Graduation’s off our memory”
Colin, with nothing: “I HAVE TO GO TO A NEW PLACE.”

So, like the Kathy one, Wayne compensates by giving Colin something anything can rhyme with, “What will I DO?”
Kathy: “I’LL GET THE BEER NOZZEL KNOB.”
Colin…as everyone’s been progressing time further and further this game, goes the furthest: “There’s blood in my stool!”
AND THE REACTIONS…
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 10.51.56 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 10.52.05 PM.png
IT’S IMMEDIATE. Kathy’s pretty strong here, but even SHE’S taken aback by this.
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 10.52.43 PM.png
Poor Ryan
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 10.53.03 PM.png
There’s not even a full reaction from Drew. Colin’s pulled so many of these that he just facepalms

Kathy, back at the seats: “…what? That totally made sense to me”
Wayne, with a line that still cracks me up: “Improv AND a medical report!”

Ryan even points out the funniest part of this: “well, ya know it was supposed to rhyme with DO.”
Colin: “…okay, POO I GUESS, but I didn’t wanna go that route…”

Kathy: “No, I liked that it was REAL.”

Drew: “I’m not givin’ ANY  points for that one…”
Colin: “I shouldn’t be the last person.”
[Memo to the CW, this was a JOKE.]

A very funny IDS. Very bottom heavy, but funny

Scenes from a Hat:

“Disturbing things to hear someone yell out during sex.”
Wayne: “…I’VE GOT BLOOD IN MY STOO-”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER 2
I think this reaction is  in response to that laugh
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 10.59.04 PM.png

As the audience laughs at this, Kathy even throws in an IDS refrain

Kathy: “YOUR NAME! I CAN’T REMEMBER YOUR NAME!”
Wayne: “DREW!”
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.01.06 PM.png

“Odd things to say using a sexy voice”
Colin: “…you have a booger hanging out of your nose…”

Drew: “Bad moments for a woman’s water to break”
Wayne: [does a circus routine with Kathy]
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER 3, RIGHT AT A QUIET MOMENT.
Wayne, recovering, holds up the child like it’s part of the act
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER 4. THEY’RE ALL COMING NOW

Kathy: “Don’t be nervous, it’s okay, I’m a virgin….OHHH…NO I’M NOT, NO I’M NOT!”
That’s funny. Kind of reminds me of some of Heather’s jokes from the CW version

Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.05.21 PM.pngRyan: [hums the first 4 notes of Here Comes the Bride]
Colin: “OHHHHH!”
HAHAHAHA
Ryan: [hastily hums the rest of the song, rushing Colin down the aisle]

Drew: “When a passionate kiss is completely out of line.”
[any time on Whose Line?]
Colin and Ryan eye each other nervously.

Wayne starts out a scene onstage, then:
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.07.08 PM.png
WOW

And, of course:
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.07.47 PM.png
Ryan: [hums first 4 notes of Here Comes the Bride]
Colin, different tone: “OH!”
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.08.43 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.08.49 PM.png
Ryan just makes sure Drew buzzes before the kiss.

Wayne: “Alright, officer”
Kathy: “Yeah, we’re taking  you in”
And in the absolute best timing:
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.09.42 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.09.48 PM.png
Kathy, to Drew: “not so bad, is he?”
Wayne:
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.10.27 PM.png
HAHAHAHAHA

Wayne does a football pep talk to end it, but Colin’s frightened the entire time, because he’s directly next to Wayne, and he knows what’s gonna happen. Eventually:
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.11.10 PM.png
Colin’s still tense as hell
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.11.57 PM.png
I love it. They both can’t believe the things they have to do on this show.

Really, REALLY funny SFAH. Lots of substantial, fun scenes. Wayne did a nice amount of heavy lifting, too

World’s Worst: Person to Share an Office With

We follow this quick-fire round with…another quick-fire round!

I love that Kathy gets to play this one, too. They’re actually giving her a chance, despite being a female performer. I like this!

Drew: [steps out]
Wayne: [buzzes]

Ryan: “ohhhhhh AYE DE DI DE DI DE DI…”

Colin: ‘……….AAAAAAAHHHHHH!”
[this is me at work]

Ryan: [puts on headphones…sings aloud to Lido Shuffle by Boz Scaggs]
[this is how I learned this song, lol]

Colin, calling back to 5×02: “Anyone up for monkey testicles and cola?”
[Also, this scene reminds me of how much Colin reminds me of Colin Robinson from  What we do in the Shadows]

Drew’s lowbrow runner elicits one more HAAAEEEEHH, bringing us to 5.

Kathy at least does a GOOD lowbrow one, using a CD to pop a zit

Kathy has another nice one: “Listen, honey, I don’t wanna have a fight at work, alright? My office-mate’s right here……..WELL MAYBE IF YOU COULD GET IT UP ONCE IN A  WHILE, I WOULDN’T HAVE TO SCREW YOUR BROTHER EVERY TWO SECONDS!”
Kathy Griffin was so damn good on this show, man

Colin, lifting something: “…hey, there’s blood on my stool!”
Ryan:
Screen Shot 2020-03-26 at 11.20.57 PM.png
And, right at the end, HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER SIX.

Really good World’s Worst. Kathy had some good ones. Drew’s fell flat. Colin’s gotten the hang of this game.

Overall: An extremely strong show, from an extremely strong panel, with some extremely funny moments, and yet I don’t even think it cracks the top 5 of this season. Yes, the Whoopi show is still beating this one. But still, this show had the Blood in my Stool runner, but yet that didn’t feel like the highest height this show could muster. Questions Only had amazing improv, Weird Newscasters had amazing audience participation, SFAH had amazing teamwork and World’s Worst had amazing quickfire work. They spread their strengths all over the board, and I didn’t feel disappointed at all, even if Weird Newscasters relied on different factors to get humor. All four felt great, Kathy had a lot of awesome moments, and it flowed really nicely, improving vastly on E2.

Show Winner: Wayne
Best Performer: Colin, in a squeaker. He’s so good here he even wields running gags from other episodes.
Worst Performer: Ryan, oddly enough. Colin, Wayne and Kathy had stronger showings than he did.
Best Game: Scenes from a Hat, narrowly edging out Questions Only because it utilized more unity and collaboration, and also that Here Comes the Bride runner.
Worst Game: Weird Newscasters, but look what it was up against.
Final HAAAEEEEHH Count: Six. 5×02 had one more. Man, I was expecting LOADS.

COMING UP NEXT: Who says Whose Line doesn’t teach you anything? Thanks to this one, a S4 Brad episode from the same taping  as the g-strong episode, I know how to say ‘I’m very sorry’ in sign-language

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E02, or Use The Bat-Tering Ram!

Couple reasons why I’m interested in getting to this one

  1. Kathy Griffin is our fourth seater, and she’s a very interesting case to talk about in 2020, because when she did the show in 2001, she was a very normal character actress, having been on Seinfeld and whatnot, and then after this she became a staple of the E network, became an overmakeupped patron saint of gays, held up a fake severed head of the president and now everyone has to pick a side with her. I always thought she was a bit too provocative for me, but this was a little before she really mastered that comedic persona.
  2. This is a guest star episode, but instead of someone kinda big like Hugh Hefner or David Hasselhoff, they got…Miss America, Katie Harman. Like Hef, very indicative of early-2000s culture. But yeah, Miss America’s here.
  3. This entire taping has several instances of the SINGLE MOST NOTABLE AUDIENCE MEMBER IN WHOSE LINE HISTORY. This lady has a very deliberate, memorable laugh, and we will hear this laugh NUMEROUS TIMES thoughout this episode and its sisters. So, everytime I hear this laugh, I will denote it by throwing a ‘HAAAEEEEHH’ into the writeup. Because that’s what it sounds like. It’s like a cat being thrown against a window.

Right. Got all that? Onto the episode

Hollywood Director: Hunky golf pro Ryan is giving a private lesson to flirtatious Beverly Hills wife Kathy, Wayne is Kathy’s elderly millionaire husband who rides in on his motorized cart to confront them because he suspects they are planning to steal his fortune

Drew: “Wayne is Kathy’s….elderly millionaire husband!”
Wayne: “THE ROLE I WAS BORN TO PLAY”

Ryan suggests Kathy keep her eye on the ball
Kathy, in a very fun European accent: “…I can’t keep my eye anywhere…except on that little ball you call a head…”

I love the detail that Ryan’s blender makes the exact same sound effect as Wayne’s motorized cart

Wayne’s very funny, going along the back of the stage, then accidentally passing onto Colin’s step because he can’t get the thing to stop

Wayne comes to a stop, then lifts up his little goggles
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER ONE

I’m not sure how I feel about Kathy really being taken aback by Colin’s ‘crap’ intro line

Colin, to Wayne: “By the way, nice Moms Mabley.”
Drew:
Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 11.59.10 AM.png
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER TWO

Ryan does a ‘THAT’S WHAT I WAS THINKING’ at one of Colin’s comments. Unlike usual, Colin limits himself to a mumbled little ‘…muheeyyy’, which cracks me up

Ryan and Kathy as stand-ups have some really great back-and-forth, both doing bits with each other

Kathy, to Ryan: “Hey, nice shirt, WHO SHOT THE COUCH?”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER THREE. YES, I’M GONNA BE COUNTING THESE ALL SHOW

Wayne comes on, and Ryan and Kathy start booing his jokes and heckling
Wayne: “Well, you have fun at her 18th hole.”

Wayne, after Colin enters:
Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 12.02.50 PM.png
Colin, to Wayne: “…you know, we ARE owned by Disney…”

Ryan and Kathy muttering German to each other is also pretty funny. Was not expecting those two to work so well together
Ryan even throws in a ‘HOGAAAAAAN’

Instead of coming in on the cart, Wayne goose-steps in.

All of the fake German being played straight is cracking me up, even when Ryan starts yelling ‘NEIN’

Ryan and Kathy are even great in the Obnoxious Drunks scene. My gosh.

Kathy has a great move in vomiting, then grabbing Ryan and kissing him. Which, to his credit, Ryan doesn’t seem too caught-off-guard by.

Wayne enters, loses control of the cart and falls downstage. So Kathy and Ryan start putting golf balls at him. That is funny

Drew buzzes, and you can hear Ryan go “oh, it’s so nice to kiss a girl instead…”

A very goofy, and entertaining scene. I was surprised how well Ryan and Kathy worked together, and how Colin kept screwing with Wayne.

Drew gives Kathy 2000 points for kissing Ryan
Colin: “I never get 2000 points for kissing him…”
Drew: “Because you LIKE to kiss him”
Ryan, of course: “It’s gotta be on the SHOW…”

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Katie, Miss America, as a boy band.

Drew asks Wayne how the wife is before he brings out Miss America. Oh, 2001…

Katie, who hails from Oregon, gets Northwesterner Ryan to give a ‘GO DUCKS’ from the seats.
Ryan, also in the back:
Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 12.13.18 PM.png

Wayne has some surface level stuff, going ‘God Bless Old Glory’
Wayne, rapping: “Oh my goodness, you got class
OH MY, BETTER NOT RHYME WITH CLASS.
It would not be right, no no
Because we’re on a FAMILY SHOW”
As good as that joke is, if we’re on a family show, why bring on Hefner??

A pretty okay SS from Wayne. Again, only so many targets you can hit here. Katie seemed to enjoy it though

Scenes from a Hat:

Drew: “Unusual Things for a Neighbor to Ask to Borrow”
Colin: “Hi, I need some monkey testicles AND A COLA…”
Classic
Everyone takes a few moments to recover

“If you used stripper moves to do mundane activities”
Ryan, crawling around: “WHERE IS MY CONTACT?”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER FOUR

World’s Worst Thing to Say the First Time you See Someone Naked:
Colin, shaking his head as he comes down: “aw, that reminds me, my tire needs new treads.”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER FIVE

Strange Television Shows for Mister Rogers to Make an Appearance on is the first of many similar categories, but I believe that Fred had died by the time this aired
Wayne: “ALRIGHT APOLLO, GIVE IT UP FOR MR. ROGERRRRS”
Fred, as Rogers: “…well yes, I have to say that is mah final answer…”
Ryan, up to the camera: “…well…I’m gonna have ta vote out Billy..”

Disturbing Times to make Animal Noises:
Wayne, proposing to Kathy: [SQUEEEEEEEEAL]
Colin, peeing: [ROOSTER CAW]

A pretty good SFAH, and they let it go for a bit.

Living Scenery: Batman, who is Ryan, and Robin, who’s Colin, are in the Batcave when they get a call from Commissioner Gordon saying that Batgirl is being held in an abandoned mineshaft
Wayne and Katie are all the props

Colin is good enough to establish the stakes early, getting the call from the commissioner with Katie as the phone. He then remembers who he’s supposed to be, and tries for something: “HOLY….KIDNAPPING.”

There’s a confusion as to where the batpoles are, which gives Ryan the opportunity to slide down Katie.
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER SIX
Colin wisely comes back up and goes down the Katie pole himself

Ryan first suggests they take the Batmobile, then realizes who he can work with, and reneges: “NONO, LET’S TAKE THE BAT-SCOOTERS”
Katie laughs at this, and struggles to keep it together as Ryan rides her as a scooter
Ryan: “I’m gonna drive around the block a couple times-”
Colin: “NO!”

I love the detail of Katie bending her leg outward when Colin notices Ryan has a flat

Colin, remembering again who he is: “HOLY….CLUE!”

Then, Colin picks up Katie and uses her as his utility belt, which is a very inspired choice. Katie, again, is laughing her ass off

Colin: “Use the bat…terring ram.”
HA.
Colin shrugs as this gets a middling response: “I’m just Robin, what do I know?”

Ryan, still holding Katie, decides to play Batgirl “a little song on the guitar”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER SEVEN

Colin starts playing Wayne as a bass, which is a very silly visual that nearly breaks him

There’s a moment where Ryan and Colin have to remember where they were, when Wayne does an out-of-shot ‘HELP ME’
Colin: “It’s Batgirl!”
Ryan, briefly turning this into Sound Effects: “She’s turned into a fly!”

Another fun moment, of Ryan setting up that he needs a bat-grenade, thinking he’s gonna get Katie…then Colin grabs Katie to use as a gasmask, and Ryan just:
Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 2.59.24 PM.png

A pretty good Living Scenery, though not as good as last show’s. Katie was having a hell of a time, but Ryan and Colin had a few clumsy moments, especially late

Drew: “So what was that like sliding down Miss America, huh? Was it fun?”
Colin: “It was better than playing Wayne as a fiddle…”
Wayne: “So says YOU…’dear diary, today I became a man’..”

Props: Drew and Wayne vs. Ryan and Kathy

Another rare pairing, as Drew, who usually does Props with Ryan, is paired with Wayne, as Ryan’s paired with Kathy. Interesting.

Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 3.05.25 PM.pngDrew, feebly: “Give me your tired, your poor…your huddled masses…”
The prop falls off his head halfway through

Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 3.06.06 PM.pngRyan: “No, I’m known for my SHOES on the show…”

Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 3.06.42 PM.pngKathy: “I cannot believe you came to this party dressed as Bjork too…”

There’s a nice back-to-back of Ryan and Kathy holding theirs up, going “WE’RE NUMBER FIVE”, and then Drew catching on with his, going “…WE’RE NUMBER EIGHT.”

A pretty strong Props round. I’m kinda surprised how well Kathy fit into this one as well. And again, there’s that Ryan-Kathy combo from HD.

Overall: A solid show without many real highlights. Honestly, some of the best moves of the show were just well-improvised moments, like most of Hollywood Director and the bits in Living Scenery where Ryan and Colin fought over who got Katie. Other than that, it was all pretty good, if unspectacular. Kathy Griffin, as we’ll see in the subsequent shows from this taping, brought a lot of fun energy to the proceedings, and was great at some improv fundamentals, especially in HD and Props. I’m also of the opinion that if WL did a Summer 2003 taping session, they would have asked her back, as she was a great fit for the show, and arguably one of the funnier women Dan & Mark asked on the program since landing in the US (is she the funniest? A sandy blonde-haired California-based improviser might have something to say about that)

The guest star material here was merely okay. Yes, Katie was into it, but I do feel like she could have brought more to the proceedings than just ‘being Miss America’. Then again, Miss America isn’t exactly a personality contest, is it?

Show Winner: Colin
Best Performer: Ryan, by a very slim margin.
Worst Performer: I really don’t wanna put anyone here. Everyone was so in step this episode. And as much as Wayne had a really good Director and Song Styles, he was shut out of the other games.
Best Game: Hollywood Director has the best picture of these four’s improv dynamic.
Worst Game: Song Styles was by no means bad, but was the most okay.
Final HAAAEEEEHH Count: SEVEN. Which is arguably restraint.
Guest Star Rating: 7/10 for Katie. Was happy to be here, laughed through Living Scenery, but you could have replaced her with anybody.

COMING UP NEXT: A renegade Season 4 taping, one we haven’t seen anything yet, but they’re putting their best foot forward. For instance, here’s an episode where Wayne wears a thong.