As per usual with these Guest Host series, NMTB likes to throw in a tv-presenter in between all the music acts and comedians. Some have worked well, like Dermot O’Leary, Richard Madeley, Claudia Winkleman, Lorraine Kelly… okay, they’ve all actually worked pretty well (Westwood doesn’t count). Tonight, Sara Cox will be hosting, and she seems pretty excited, as her last appearance was WAY back in Series 5, on the infamous ‘Athelston as Edwin Starr’ episode, one of the greats. She’s a funny person, and hopefully it’ll translate to a nice show.
Iggy Azalea’s on the panel. So there goes any hope of it not being dated. Eliza Doolittle’s also on the panel, which is nice. Also on the panel is ‘requisite comedian’ Matt Richardson and Jake Humphrey, who’s a sports presenter.
Among the implications of Phill’s content advisory round: The Police released a song called ‘Wanking on the Moon, evidently; Elton John’s ‘I’m Still Standing’ included the lyric ‘fucking like a true survivor, fucking like a little kid’; and, more sweetly, Michael Buble’s famed love ballad was actually called ‘I Just Haven’t Fucked You Yet’. Man, I love this round.
Eliza: “I met Buble, yeah…and actually, he married the girl in that video, so I met her as well…”
Phill: “…couldn’t he have just paid her?”
Sara: “Eliza, have you met Robin Thicke?”
Eliza: “…no, I-”
Sara: “Good, don’t. Stay away.”
Sara: “Oh, to be there, and to be able to change it from ‘has’ to ‘is.”
Noel: “i think it actually says ‘Robin Thicke has a Big Duck…”
Matt: “The way she’s standing there, it also looks like ‘Robin Thicke has a Bi-Duck’, as if he’s got a bisexual duck that also likes geese…”
Jake talks about failing a color-blindness test at 7, and them telling him ‘here’s a list of jobs you can’t have’, and policeman being at the very top.
Noel: “Can’t believe that ‘policeman’ was at the top…what about ‘rainbow shepherd’?”
Sara, trying to push the game along: “We’ve got to leave the color-blind thing behind…”
Jake: “I can’t, though, can I?”
Noel’s Explicit Content round has these gems: Rod Stewart’s version of ‘The First Cock is the Deepest’; The Bangles’ classic ‘Wank Like an Egyptian’…followed by some PANTSLESS COMMONERS.
Noel, halfway through some Sara jokes, just turns to the audience, points out a guy and goes “…scuse me, your laugh is not acceptable in any way…it’s like you’ve carried a goat in…”
After a digression about goats, Jake: “…and I was thinking I’d be left out of the conversation because I know nothing about MUSIC…”
Iggy talks about being naked in a video.
Jake: “But your grandparents’ll see that…”
Iggy: “No, they won’t see that- it’s on the internet, they won;t-”
Phill, australian accent: “BOOOBB! SOMEBODY PHONED UP AND SED OUR EEGGY WAS ON THE INTERNET IN THE NUUDE! PUT THAT GOAT DOWN, WE’VE GOT TO LOOK AT THIS INTERNET!”
For the ‘Gay Bar’ intro, Iggy just starts dry-humping (lightly) Noel, as Noel actually does the intro.
Jake: “I have never felt more uncomfortable in a television studio in my entire life…”
Sara: “Did it help at all, Jake?”
Noel: “Helped me…”
After more Iggy grinding against Noel
Phill: “BOB, WE’VE HAD THE NEIGHBORS ON THE PHONE AGAIN! APPARENTLY IGGY’S BEEN RUBBING HERSELF UP AND DOWN AGAINST THE GIRL OUT OF THE ADDAMS FAMILY!”
Sara, trying to get an answer out of Jake: “What are you getting out of that?”
Phill: “I’m getting the Snow Queen and Mr. Tumnus…”
Noel, reading another intro card that Iggy knows the movements for: “…if we don’t get our own spinoff show, I’m gonna be furious…”
Matt, on Phill’s guitar style in intros: “You’re just saying ‘gin gin gin’- you’re like my mom!”
Sara: “#4’s lovely, isn’t he? He looks like he should be on a strong mustard tin!”
Sara: “Iggy, which one would you most likely go out on a date with?”
Iggy: “…#4’s the only one who looks like he has any pubic hair, so…probably him.”
#4:
Iggy’s getting really hyped up that it’s #2, putting forth “Iggy rage” as Sara calls it.
Phill: “BOB, YOU SHOULD SEND A GOAT OVER TO ENGLAND, TA CALM IGGY DOWN!”
This is a pretty tremendous get for Buzzcocks- Phill’s ID Parade is…Haddaway. Of ‘What is Love’ fame. That’s actually pretty nice.
Phill, trying to deliberate: “…I never, ever saw it performed. And Eliza and Matt are…12.”
Amazing moment: Sara gives just a phonetic beat for a Next Line. So Jake comes in with the bassline from Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’. Pretty soon, everyone in the room is contributing, even Phill with the killer guitar riff.
The next one is the next lines from Taylor Swift’s I Knew You Were Trouble. Jake gives the line from two verses later. Iggy just screams “NO!” at him.
Phill: “GOAT! GOAT! GOAT!”
Iggy: “You messed up! WHYYY!”
Noel: “I hate it when Mommy and Daddy shout…”
Overall: A bit more middle-of-the-road than last few, but it had its moments. Sara Cox was pretty boilerplate guest host, even though she had her moments. The panel was quieter, with no real stand-out members, save for maybe Iggy Azalea in her craziness. Not a ton to write about, but at least there was the grinding incident…
Guest Host Rating: 8/10
Best Regular: Phill
Best Guest: Iggy
Best Runner: Iggy’s grandparents and the goat.
In which Jordan writes about stuff 