So. Coming down from that one, we’ve got another classic. This is what I mean when I say we’ve got another Golden Age on the horizon. The classics are just coming in.
This show brings back old faithful Milton Jones, a final appearance for Carl Donnelly, and the return of one of two Frankie-era recurring guests thrust back into the mix in S11, and that’s Jo Caulfield. I always thought Jo was a bit overrated on Mock, and her recent comments on the comedy scene haven’t done her any favors, but I’m happy that she decided to come back and embrace a new era. I wish more people would do that in a way that didn’t seem odd. Sort of like Ivo Graham making a return in S20, embracing the new semi-regulars like Maisie Adam and Alasdair Beckett-King.
Headliners: C.I.D.W.
Andy: “is it, in fact, all they’ve accomplished at the G20? ‘Checked in, Drank Wine'”
Chris, with a joke he can get away with by pinning it on Merkel: “is Merkel saying ‘Cameron…it’s Denzel Washington!”
Also, literally one show later and Chris’s camp German accent returns
Hugh: “she’s presumably suggesting an answer to the crisis, is she? She’s saying [SQUEAKY GERMAN VOICE] “CALL IN…DARTH…WADER.”
Will he also get a sepp’blatter?
Milton: “or she’s saying ‘Careful, I Declare War…”
That one’s the silliest. Just always threatening a war, using her Germanness to make that work
Hugh, bringing up the summer’s central Cameron story: “is Cameron just going ‘CHILDREN? I…damn. WHERE?”
PFFFF. Perfect how he does that
Milton, not through being silly: “is Merkel saying ‘I’ve lived my life like a…Candle In Da Wind…”
Chris loves this one. As he should.
Dara talks about Cameron discussing the five major crises the euro is facing, and says it’d be funny if he threw in ‘that asteroid’ as if it wasn’t news to everyone. “It would be great, by the way, if we did an episode of this show for people who don’t really watch the news, and then we discuss the asteroid as if this was actually a news story.”
Chris, with the understatement of the century: “I’m pretty sure this show is for people who don’t really watch the news…”
Honestly, a lot of these jokes on the new greek government aren’t hitting too hard. Feels like a lot of them have been done already. Again, we’ve gotta wait a few series for fresh Greek jokes. There’s an amusing bit about Cameron thinking a ‘Greek bailout’ is an Etonian hazing ritual though.
Hugh tries pronouncing where the G20 was in a Mexican accent
Dara: “it doesn’t have to be said like a villager from the Magnificent Seven”
Hugh: “SI!”
They do have a lot of fun with the Mexican setting, about Cameron announcing these five crises with unfitting drinks and mariachi bands undercutting the mood
Hugh, on Milliband: “he labeled Cameron a tainted leader, which is in fact an early song by Soft Cell”
Dara zeroes in on the bit from a Cameron text with Rebecca Brooks that says “let’s discuss this over country supper.”
Carl: “It sounds like a really horrible euphemism. Like, mates, I went over a girl’s place last night, she gave me a country supper..”
Dara: “I hope they weren’t lookin’ for a greek bailout..”
We finally address ‘David Cameron leaving his daughter behind in a pub’-gate on the show, after hinting at it the past episode and a half.
Dara: “by the way, what has Ed Milliband revealed recently?”
Hugh, bluntly: “that he is related to DAVID Milliband…”
Dara: “…ending speculation..”
We eventually have this compare/contrast:
They’ve been doing a lot more comparison jokes, which is just setting up what happens in 2 shows.
Milton: “Actually, I had a long conversation with Ed Milliband about whether he looks like Wallace. It would have been shorter, but every 12 seconds an assistant had to move his arm…”
That is a GENIUS joke
Alright opening round. Great start with the game round, a few topics that didn’t work, and a decent ending. Jo is already going back to her habits of not saying too much [or maybe that’s just how she’s edited], and Hugh is already making up for a quieter 1st episode of the series.
Newsreel: Hugh voices Cameron and Obama
For one of the last times, Newsreel makes regulation
Hugh, as Obama: “vote for me in November, don’t vote for Mitt, his name sounds like an oven glove.”
I forget if this is the first mention of Mitt Romney on the show or not.
Honestly, just seeing Obama and Cameron sat together at an NBA game is funny enough.
Hugh, as Cameron: “We have a bit of a special relationship, but not like that, no, the Church of England would never allow it..”
This isn’t a very substantial one, but I do like the scene Hugh lays out, like Cameron nearly getting into a fight with a belligerent American fan sitting next to Obama.
Hugh, as Obama, coolly and calmly: “he says, uh, would you shut the fuck up?”
That’s SO GOOD
And then, to finish, Hugh, as Cameron: “hang on, I’m almost CERTAIN I had my daughter with me when I came in here…”
Of course
Actually a pretty decent two-hander, and Hugh definitely knew where the humor comes from. Some of the satirical points where a bit stale though
Stand Up Round: Jo, Carl and Milton
Dara: “now we play a round called Happy Birthday Paul Mock-Cartney”
PFFF
Jo’s, on retail, isn’t very groundbreaking. I did like the bit about the Tesco’s checkout lady who Jo handed her Sainsbury’s nectar card to by accident, forcing the checkout lady to check HER OWN NAMETAG, “as if to go ‘maybe she’s RIGHT, maybe I DO work in Sainsbury’s..”
But yeah, not a hell of a lot going on here
Carl, on health, talks about some embarrassing stomach issues he’s had. “One such happened when I went to see Alicia Keys live at the O2 arena…that’s not the embarrassing bit..”
His is more of a story than a full set, about the time he tried to get a stool sample into the bag-checking queue at the concert. It’s got some funny details [“when he pulled it out, I’d never heard more shock in a man’s voice.”]
Though, honestly, I had the same issue with this set as I had with the last one he did, where there wasn’t enough to it from a stand-up perspective. Funny stories can be great onstage, but unless you really do something with them, they’re just that.
Milton’s highlights, on relatives:
-“I didn’t speak to my dad when he was a bus driver, you’re not allowed to…”
-“My brother’s allergic to cheese, not eating it just anytime someone says the name of it he goes [makes funny face]. Doesn’t happen very often, but we have a lot of weird family photos”
You could see the punchline a mile away, but it’s still well crafted
-“My grandfather, he was a GI and he was in the RAF, okay, he was a giraffe..”
-“During the war, when board games were illegal, he was put in jail for being a Yahtzee sympathizer”
OH MY GOD.
-and then, as he likes to every so often: “my uncle, he was a security guard at the O2 arena…”
Carl just nods and applauds. That’s a fantastic move. It proves that Milton, unlike a lot of comedians on this show, is a keen listener when other people are doing sets
Not a great stand-up round, but Milton’s saved it from being completely disposable.
If This is the Answer: Sport; Chickens, Nurses and Rain
Folks…strap in.
Milton: “is it…name three things…?”
PERFECT. He’s not even gonna try
Hugh: “What are the most used sound effects…in the radio drama…Monsoon Poultry Hospital?”
Now, EVEN THIS EARLY, you can hear people, namely Jo, begin to chuckle right before Hugh says the name of the show. Just because it’s such a silly way of going about it
Dara, bad european accent: “THERE’S BEEN ANOTHER MONSOON FOR THE CHICKENS!…why are all the actors SCOTTISH in Monsoon Poultry Hospital?”
Chris: “Is it-”
Dara, still going: “DOCTOR, DOCTOR, AH THINK THIS CHICKEN IS DRROWNING!”
So ALREADY, at MOMENT ONE, Dara loves this gag
Andy, going back to the joke about Greece from earlier: “what are the three things featured in the film Golden Dawn?”
and then Andy: “is it all the things my gran says are stealing her money when I go and visit her in care?”
Dara takes an extra second. The rain is stealing my money
Hugh, gradually going into an impression: “is it what ADDITIONAL THREE THINGS…DID CHURCHILL THINK WE SHOULD FIGHT THEM ON? WE WILL FIGHT THEM ON THE CHICKENS. We will fight them on the NURSES. And on the RAAAIN.”
Hugh is on fire in this round. Even his Churchill from a few series ago returns
Jo, foreshadowing S14: “is it what Greece is planning on using as currency when they leave the Euro?”
Dara pushes towards the answer, which means GOOF JOKE BONUS ROUND
Andy: “Name three things you won’t find in a chicken nugget!”
Hugh, as Dara’s getting impatient: “is it what are the opening stage directions…in the TELEVISION DRAMA…Monsoon Poultry Hospital?”
This made me laugh SO HARD the first time I watched it. He brings it back but with STAGE DIRECTIONS?
Chris, demonstrating: “CHICKENS. NURSES. RAIN. A MAN WALKS THROUGH THE FOG.”
That brought it home for me.
Chris: “what was the name of Foghorn Leghorn’s controversial early-career porn film?”
I love this one too
Dara: “I’m sorry, I wanna do more chicken nurse hospital- CLEAR! BAAAWK! CLEAR! BAWWK!”
The single best thing about this gag is how much fun Dara has with it. Because it’s completely appropriate, it’s his kind of silly, and it’s got a good chance of going in. A lot like the Elves.
Hugh, Scottish accent: “doctor, get me the basterr..”
Dara: “can we please…we’re just amusing ourselves now…”
It’s about Danny Boyle’s plan for the opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympics, complete with artificial clouds that could produce rain if need be
Hugh: “I didn’t think that was why he was doing it, I thought it’s cause he’s a filmmaker, and he was doing a film version…of Monsoon Poultry Hospital.”
Dara: “and people are going ‘well where are all the scottish accents?’, and it’s [bad American accent] “Docterrr, this chicken seems ta be ill, CLEEARRR”
Dara lists all the animals used in here, including, cheekily, “a spider, a fly, and an old woman. And the main question here is ‘will she die?'”
Hugh: “at the end, they’re lighting a flame, I say flame, they’re lighting a pyre of cows that have died from foot-in-mouth.”
Andy talk about a destroyer in the middle of the Thames in case of an attack. “How do they think al Qaeda are gonna attack? Some sort of armada coming up the river?”
Dara, miming rowing: “They won’t be expecting THIS!”
Andy: [HUMS HAWAII FIVE-O THEME]
I love seeing how silly Andy can get, especially in this era
Chris: “The closing ceremony is just gonna be Boris Johnson just in overalls and wellies going ‘GET OFF MY LAAAND!”
Milton: “My grandfather won first in the Olympic limbo competition, but they wouldn’t give him the medal, they just said he came last in the high-jump..”
I kinda love that Milton just keeps lines in his pocket at any point
A very brisk ITITA, but the quality stayed very high throughout, especially concerning that legendary runner. Look, obviously Newsreel was added because something in this round was too dirty for air, and therefore a lot had to be cut and offset, but even with Newsreel being abrupt and less good, this is still a fine round on its own. They obviously can get a lot out of the olympic topic, as they did in 2008.
Scenes We’d Like to See:
“Unlikely Things to Hear at Euro 2012”
Hugh: “well, this French team has 3 strikers. Luckily, the other 8 have agreed to play.”
Andy: “and the greeks have reached the quarterfinal. If only they’d had a massive bet on that..”
Chris, dryly: “well, I’ve never seen that on a pitch before, it seems the referee really IS a wanker..”
Milton, with a very silly action: “Here in Ukraine, we launch campaign,”
As that is silly enough, there’s already laughter
Milton: “…keep football out of racism.”
Carl: “and that is some incredible dribbling there from the Irish supporters.”
WE CUT TO DARA:
Carl just waves
Jo, who must miss Frankie: “and things are about to get ugly, as we return back to the studio with Adrian Chiles.”
Andy: “and it’s Germany against Greece, the ultimate dilemma for the british royal family..”
Andy, similarly: “so, Germany are camped in the Polish half…not for the first time..”
“Things You Wouldn’t Hear on a Political Discussion show”
Andy: “round the table tonight, Eric Pickles…and round another table, four other politicians..”
Andy’s had a pretty strong show as well, and if it weren’t for Monsoon Poultry Hospital he’d be leading things
Hugh: “Yes, I know that Britain’s performance in the second half hasn’t been all we’ve hoped for, but there’s a reason for that. See, this is a tough job, and…I am shit at it.”
Chris, with simplicity: “…is anyone else horny?”
IT’S THAT SIMPLE. And it’s just funny as hell
Carl: “and now we’re gonna head over and see what the polls are telling us [vaguely polish accent] HULLOOOOUGH!”
Now, that is a funny joke, but the execution BAFFLES the panel.
Chris: “are they chinese now?”
Carl, owning up to it: “yeah, I did a chinese…”
Dara: “It sounds like PORISH the way we say here…down in PO-RAND.”
I will allow it on account of him being offensive ironically
Hugh, show him how it’s done: “right, let’s go over to Wales and see what they’re saying to us- [WHALE NOISE]”
THAT is really damn funny, and it only offends whales
Andy: “and so we have a question for the prime minister from Nancy Cameron, aged 8, and it’s “…when are you going to pick me up, daddy?”
It may not be a central topic, but they sure are having fun with it
Some weaker spots in this round, but pretty good overall. The regulars did a lot of the lifting though, which figures.
Overall: Whenever I cover these episodes known for a running gag, I try and decipher whether or not the show is still a classic without the help of the gag. With some, like the Elves show and the Sepp Blatter show, it’s still insanely funny even without the gag because of the energy of the taping. And others, like ultimately the anal lube show, would fall apart without the use of the gag. This one I would say belongs to the latter category. Without Monsoon Poultry Hospital this is a perfectly passable S11 show, belonging itself a bit more to S10 ideologies than second golden age ones, with a great turn from Milton and a very fun SWLTS to end it. The gag adds so much, and elevates a lot more of the energy of the show…but it’s a gag that doesn’t require the use of a full panel, it’s really just the regulars who contribute to it.
Plus, this is an unfortunate panel that can’t really conduct running gags because Carl and Jo are pretty self-reliant, and Milton is a bit quieter in conversation rounds. You needed somebody like Ed, Stewart, Andi or Greg to keep the energy reverberating, but this is what we had at the time. The good news is that more reliable panel connectors would be around very soon.
Best Regular: Hugh Dennis, obviously. You remember this show for the runner, the runner is all him, and he had excellent stuff all night.
Best Guest: Milton dominated the most out of the three.
Worst Performer: Jo didn’t have a ton of fresh stuff to really offer in this one.
Best Round: If this is the Answer, which had so much fun stuff for its shorter runtime.
Best Topic: Olympics
Best Runner: Monsoon Poultry Hospital
COMING UP NEXT: The first of the players that will be all over the second golden age debuts.
In which Jordan writes about stuff 