Mock the Watchdown: S11E04, or Oh, Rain, Let Us Practice!

So, it’s come to this. The 100th Mock the Week episode.

Like with Whose Line, Dan and Mark did make this one extra special in some ways, like paving 5 minutes at the end of the show for a ‘best of the show’s history’ montage. But in doing so, they enacted measures that led to changes that would eventually become permanent. For instance, this episode, to save on time, did away with Headliners and instead used Picture of the Week, which cut out the game round entirely so they could get right to the topic. Moreover, the stand-up round was changed from 3 participants to two. While temporary changes here, these moves would eventually become fixed implements as the show would go on.

As for this show, this has some standard S11-era bookings of Milton Jones and Ava Vidal, but for the special 100th show, they brought back a legend of the Frankie era for his last appearance, and that’s Mark Watson. I grew to really enjoy Mark in his more absurdist, naive persona, and while he’s a bit older and more hardened here, he’s still welcome.

Dara: “episode one went out in June 2005, let’s see a picture of [HE SEES THE GRAPHIC AND SHAKES HIS HEAD] how Andy and I looked back then…”

Yes, the graphics team are gonna have a hell of a night.
Dara: “I do look like an IRA political prisoner from the 1970s..”
Hugh: “I look really like my own grandmother..”

There are already some goofs with music cues and props, and very clearly they’re sending up the usual ‘milestone episode bash’ other shows will do

Picture of the Week: Bob Diamond

Yeah, unlike future versions, we don’t even have a joke picture round, we just go right into the story

Hugh does mentioned Bob has resigned
Dara: “why has he resigned?”
Hugh: “…because he’s been a BAD boy…”
Just the quiet, unsure way he says that is funny

They have fun with his next in command, who has an almost roman name, and Dara finds a way to shoehorn in the party favor again

Ava has a line about not banking with Barclays because they were ambivalent on apartheid, and Andy agrees, saying he didn’t eat south african apples in the 80s.
Dara: “yeah, you were mentioned by Mandela in his speech, weren’t you?”
Mark: “Parsons got me through the hard years..”
Andy: “it was quite easy for me, because I don’t like apples. If it had been South African sherbet dib-dabs, I think Mandela would still be in prison…”
PFFF

Dara talks about not being approved for the first bank he applied for in the UK because of his Irish passport, which he’s still a bit burned by.

Dara: “in other news, whose wife took ’em by surprise this week?”
Chris, too quickly: “not mine..”

It’s about Katie Holmes divorcing Tom Cruise
Ava: “if a fake marriage can’t pretend to be happy, then what hope do the rest of us have?”
Pretty punchy, honestly
Andy: “I just hope now that Tom doesn’t do anything stupid, cause you’re vulnerable when you leave a relationship, you might end up joining a cult or something..”
and then, Andy: “I found that he proposed to her standing on top of the Eiffel Tower. Now I know he’s paranoid about his height, but that is…”
[how are most of these hitting?]

Hugh, on scientology: “it’s treated as a religion in the US for tax purposes…that’s something Jimmy Carr could look into.”
yeah…I don’t think he’d last a second there

Andy mentions the Tom Cruise Oprah incident. “It’s hardly a test of anything, jumping on Oprah’s couch. If it can take her weight..”
DIVIDED AUDIENCE REACTION
Andy, chuckling: “the Oprah fan club are in tonight..”

Milton: “would you trust a man who’d been on three missions that he SAID were impossible…”
It’s up to six now..

Okay, truly horrifying start but MAN did the Tom Cruise stuff make up for a lot of time. I’m very interested in what Headliners was. I forget if they air it in a compilation. Might have given us more quality throughout. But yeah, this is good so far. Mark’s been very quiet, hopefully that’ll change, but the silly mood seems to have continued.

Stand Up Round: Milton and Ava

Ava’s set, on animals, did not work for me. It was about a mouse infestation in her house. None of the punchlines work for me. And she didn’t even insult her daughter this time. MILTON, SAVE US!

Milton’s highlights, on Nationality:
-“If you’re addicted to meths, you’re either an alcoholic or a South African with a real love of numbers”
YES
-“I used to teach english in Germany. First day, taught them everything beginning with A, second day taught them everything beginning with B…D-Day was a bit tricky.”
HA. And here I thought he was gonna go with ‘Not C.’
-Milton can make a setup like this work: “So I’m in a disco in Tehran”
the punchline is still worth it: “all these women dancing around a handbag, going Iranian Men, Hallelujah”
-“Recently I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a goat with a long neck…turns out I’d phoned Dial-a-Llama”
HA.

Not a great stand-up round, and I’ve seen better sets from Milton, but I did laugh

If This is the Answer: Sport; 100

Mark: “is it how many meters behind Usain Bolt will any british sprinter finish?”
Milton: “is it how many cocktail sticks do you have to glue to a mouse to make it into a hedgehog?”
SEE, AVA, THAT’S HOW YOU DO A MOUSE JOKE

Ava: “is it how many years of hurt we’ll have to sing about if we ever rerelease Three Lions”
I mean, pretty close

Chris: “how many miles did the Proclaimers walk before they realized that girl was being a bit high maintenance.”
Wow, a new spin on this gag!

Milton: “is it what do three baby eagles look like when only one of them has hatched?”

…a genius, folks.

Chris, similar to his last one: “is it after Jay-Z’s girlfriend first heard the song where he referred to her as a bitch, how many problems did he THEN have?”

Milton: “is it how many years since my grandfather launched the first motorized iceberg.”
Laughs, but a few groans
Chris: “WHAT, TOO SOON, IS IT?”
PFFFF
Dara: “THAT CAN’T BE OFF THE MENU NOW…”
Andy: “did you not know Oprah Winfrey was on the Titanic?”
Chris, not batting away a golden opportunity: “that’s what actually sank it.”
YES

It’s on Olympic budgeting, and there’s a fun bit about last-minute cutbacks
Dara: “EIGHT LANES? WHO NEEDS 8 LANES? The guy on the outside never wins!”

Mark brings up the ticketing fiasco, and Dara, who’s heard about this for two years, just comes down, saying “You were not singled out, Mark. The computer did not go ‘mmm, Mark Watson, do not like..”
Mark: “…that’s something of a disingenuous joke cause I’m actually going to 3 events..”

Mark details which ones he’s going to: “boxing, which is…obviously close to my heart..”
Dara talks about having tickets for Water Polo, Australia vs. Kazakhstan
Hugh: “I think it’s fairly clear Australia are gonna win that, probably not much point in going, is there?”
Dara: “YOU DON’T KNOW..”
Chris: “yeah, you can’t upset a landlocked central asian country…vs. people who live by the BEACH…”
Dara: “yeah, but people who live by the beach don’t use swimming pools as much as the people who are landlocked…AHAHAHAHA.”

Hugh: “there’s no WATER in Kazakhstan”
Dara: “THERE’S *RAIN*”
Hugh: “oh, RAIN, LET US PRACTICE!”
That cracked me up
Hugh: “look, a big puddle!”

Chris: “can’t be easy being a Kazakhstan fan. “GIVE ME A K!” ‘oh, please, not this…”
Dara: “give me a…zed or possibly an H after that, I’M NOT SUURE…”
Chris: “GIVE ME AN EXTRA A!”
Dara: “I MIGHT DO THIS PHONETICALLY!”
[This is such a funny bit]

AND AS IF THAT BIT WAS FUNNY ENOUGH…we get to the next story. The procession of the torch. A mayor of a town in Lincolnshire dressing up as one of their town’s products to champion what the town’s known for.

Dara, through laughs: “SHE RAN ALONGSIDE THE TORCH…AS A GIANT PENIS…”
And then, folks, someone in the audience, probably a producer or plant, yells out, “HE LOOKS LIKE YOU!”
Dara: “HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ME.”
The fourth wall has been broken.

Dara: “MY ARMS DO NOT START ABOVE MY CHIN”

Andy: “I love that, the 100th program, and the first time we’ve been heckled by the audience.. ‘You look like a penis sausage..”

And, I forget about this, it’s DARA who asks for the split screen comparison, the first of MANY WE’RE ABOUT TO GET
Andy, as they’re prepping it: “is this why they wouldn’t let you in to use your passport photo?”
and then, finally:


This is so damned funny
Chris: “well…somebody’s got a new Twitter avatar…”

The round does finish up after this, but MAN that was good. The olympic topic was really funny, and I loved the Kazakhstan bit. The penis sausage bit is CLASSIC. And even the game round worked. Mark got a lot more in, even if he’s a bit quieter this time around. The energy of the panel is still high. AND. AND. Not a lot of Ava. So now we’re really rolling.

Scenes We’d Like to See:

“Unlikely Things to Hear at Wimbledon”
Andy: “…DUE TO MOCK THE WEEK OVERRUNNING…footage from Center Court has now been cancelled.”
A nice snipe back at a program that often preempts them

Milton, swaying and lunging: “…welcome to center court…they just closed the roof, it’s a lot lower than we’d thought…”
Ava: “there appears to be a lot of grunting at this women’s match, and if the man at the back doesn’t stoppit, we’re gonna ask him to leave”

Hugh: “so…15-40…the last time someone British won here..”
Milton: “of course, they start training tennis umpires at a very young age, and there they are…sitting in their high chairs….shouting ‘juice, juice'”
He starts cracking up at the end of that one. I honestly don’t blame him.

“Things You Wouldn’t Hear on a Consumer Program”
Andy: “on Watchdog tonight, Anne Robinson has had a seizure…but you won’t be able to tell.”
Milton: “dear Watchdog, these sausages are inedible…dunno what it is, but they look like someone off the telly.”
YES.

Chris: “my loft has recently been converted…it is now Muslim and won’t let me in unless I take my shoes off”
and then Chris: “where are the best places to watch people having sex? We’ll find out tonight, on…Watchdogging.”
He’s having fun tonight for sure

Mark: “and the moral of the story, even if it is called crazy golf, don’t have your willy out. G’night.”
…he’s still got it

Hugh: “we tested this dishwasher against this dish washer, and the Filipino was better.”
pfff
Chris: “not only would the toilet not flush, but I am now banned from IKEA.”

Another alright SWLTS. Some of these recent ones have just had lulls in the middle that can’t be helped. I think it also has to do with a lot of blah suggestions for these. Some good ones, though.

100th Show Clip Package:

–Series 6 compilation, from 6×02, “if we can have stuff we can actually broadcast”
–Series 3 compilation, from 3×06, Frankie’s Richard Hammond joke
–Series 4 Compilation, from 4×01, David and Russell pointing
–2×01, mostly so we can get a Rory Bremner clip, but also, the first appearance of Hugh’s Jimmy Savile impression.
-obligatory Michael McIntyre impression that I don’t even wanna trace
–5×07, Russell kidding Dara about Konnie Huq
–6×02, one requisite Kerry Katona joke from Frankie, though it’s one of his better ones, the ‘Fannie Mae collapse’ one
–10×12, a pretty recent one, Milton’s ‘farming cats’ joke
-Series 3 comp again, ‘Mrs. Fat Ankle 2006’, just so we can get a good Jo Brand joke in there
–10×09, “I PUT A CUUUUURSE ON YA.” Thank god.
-Series 7 comp, evolution of man bit with Greg
–3×06, “Get yet foot out, Adam..”
–9×05, just a smidge of the ‘Dara’s head’ gags, the one Ed has about ‘on a normal size head, that’d be a full head of hair’
-from the Series 4 comp, ‘FIND A WOMAN, LEAVE THE PASTRIES ALONE’. I’m glad they love this bit as much as we do.
–4×04, the moment Ed launches himself at the mic
–10×08, “Dara O’Briain, we work so he doesn’t have to.”
–8×06, the moment where Dara finally lands the chocolate football in his mouth.

Honestly, pretty good summation of the first 10 seasons. I could have used a bit more Frankie, but I think it was pretty fair.

Overall: Better than the last few, solely because of the energy in that second discussion round. Yes, the 100th episode feel did provide a nice atmosphere, but it also truncated a lot of stuff that should have aired as normal. As good as the compilation was, it did take away from this episode’s ability to establish itself. And by itself, this is a pretty normal S11 show. Again, the issue at the moment is panel stacking, and the fact that you really have four people on the same page and two other guests doing their thing. Ava had a pretty dreadful night, and Mark, while funny, was quieter than he used to be. The regulars and Milton commanded attention all night, and the Olympics and Penis Sausage bits were so funny. But, again, because people like Josh, Rob, Romesh and James haven’t arrived yet, we’re relying a lot on regulars and not much on guests. Thankfully, that is about to change very soon.

Still, this was a pretty fun episode, and I kinda wanna give it more marks than I should because of that ITITA round, which was phenomenal. But besides that, not a ton going on.

Best Regular: Chris had an excellent second half, and was excellent working off the panel all night.
Best Guest: Milton did the most all night.
Worst Performer: Ava’s stand-up round didn’t have a single joke that worked for me, and she just didn’t have a great night.
Best Round: If This is the Answer was damn near immaculate
Best Topic: Olympics
Best Runner: penis sausage

COMING UP NEXT: Episode 101. Arguably the single most important panel addition of this era arrives.

Mock the Watchdown: S11E03, or Pretend Hair Forever

A curious booking arrangement this episode. Our only returning panelist is Zoe Lyons, who thankfully is becoming a bit more trusted in this era. We have a true guest star in Marcus Brigstocke, typically more suited to other panel shows [and the Comedy Store] but a welcome trial here.

We also have the first of the aforementioned harbingers of the second golden age. Gary Delaney is a booking that honestly made sense at the time. His longtime girlfriend Sarah Millican had done a few, she’d been fun but it was clear she was better suited for QI, and since Gary was more of a collaborative humorist, maybe he’d be better suited to Mock. Gary would also be the third pure one-liner comic to join the show, after Milton Jones and Stewart Francis. Gary’s style of one-liners is a lot different from the other two. A lot less dry.

If This is the Answer: Home News; 35 Billion

Gary: “is it how many times people have hit refresh on the Nat West website this week?”
Andy: “Is it how much did I tell the Nat West call center that I have in my account at the moment?”
It’s very clear what the story of the week was..

Marcus: “is it how many calories there are in a cheese and Eric Pickles sandwich?”
Andy, also going topical: “is it if you borrow a pound off Wonga dot com, how much money d’you have to pay back…”

Hugh, knowing when to play the hits: “is it how many episodes have there been of the long-running drama…Monsoon Poultry Hospital?”
AND THERE IS RECOGNITION APPLAUSE.

Gary: “is it how many years older than her face does Madonna’s neck look?”
Hugh just flat-out facepalms

Andy: “is it how many comedians have phoned their accountants this week?”
Yes, this was the week of the Jimmy Carr tax evasion scandal. I love how, after the question, Dara curiously peering around and saying “so…who wants to comment on this?”

Andy mentions that the viewing figures for 8 out of 10 cats have gone up since the scandal, so he mentions Dara ought to follow suit, “or at least host a prostitute Nazi party”
Dara: “can I do plan B?”
Zoe: “I use a brilliant tax evasion scheme that works brilliantly, I just…earn sod-all.”

Gary: “I feel bad for Jersey, because now they’re trying to shake off the tax avoidance tag and go back to their reputation as Nazi sympathizers.”
Can I just say, it’s not even 5 minutes into his first episode and Gary’s taken to this show like a fish to water. A lot of one-liner comedians try and stay silent until the material aligns with what they have prepared. Not Gary. Gary is pretty adept on current events, and has enough to say about them without seeming one-dimensional as a one-liner guy.

They do use the top story to segue the wind-up, with Dara saying he’s involved with a film investment scheme of his own, namely Monsoon Poultry Hospital. “Because I play the role of Morag the nurse,”

THAT is funny. This is the beginnings of production and the editors having fun making things for Mock to have fun with.
Andy: “it’s nice to know where the budget for this show goes, is it?”

Dara does point out how good he looks as a nurse
Andy: “if you turned up in hospital at my bed, I’d discharge myself..”
Dara, thankfully seeing the double meaning: “listen, I have NO DOUBT you’d discharge yourself..”

Dara introduces a topic on Gove and Clegg and Marcus interrupts him with the correct pronunciation, that it’s Michael ‘Guuv’. Posh leading the posh.
Dara: “Okay, how does Michael Guuv and NICHOLAS CLAIGHE…”
I’m gonna be honest, Marcus being pedantic just casts this shadow on the rest of the topic, and a lot of the other stuff after that just didn’t work for me

It’s on Michael Gove rearranging things in the school system. Dara mentions he didn’t come through their system.
Hugh, wonderfully smug: “oh, I think it shows..”
Dara: “yeah, but we don’t TINKER with the education system as much as you do [REALIZES WHAT CHRIS IS ABOUT TO DO] DON’T MAKE THAT JOKE.”
I love it. He’s done the show with Chris long enough that he knew Chris was gonna do something with ‘thinker’.
Chris does work in a joke about the irish education system scaled “from too-la-roo-la-As to fiddle-dee-Ds.” Dara’s mostly shocked
Andy: “WE’RE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ‘CHRIS ADDISON IN DUBLIN’ GIG ON THE NEXT TOUR…”
PFFFF

Dara asks if the o-levels were comparatively a breeze
Hugh: “it was a magical time, the o-levels, but that’s mostly because that’s around when I lost my virginity.” [BIG SMILE]
Hugh’s somehow having another nice show
Chris, hot on his tail: “That was a hell of a French oral…”

Alright opening round. What powered this through was mostly the energy of the room, and the energy of the room is powered by the regulars AND GARY. Zoe stayed back, and/or isn’t being edited well, Marcus is already coming off like a twat, and damn near ruined a topic. But all the funny stuff is coming from back-and-forths from the panel. Already we’re seeing things loosen up, and Gary already knows that’s where he needs to be.

Newsreel: Hugh is Prince Charles

Second straight show with a newsreel. I’m hoping this doesn’t truncate the second round as much as last show’s.

Hugh, as Charles: “…what an enormous television…”
HA
Then, after Charles shakes their hands: “how d’you do that? Is it 3-D?”

Hugh, as Charles: “anyway, I’ll have a pint of that, please.”
Hugh, as the guy behind the counter, in a hysterical delivery: “THAT…IS A CHARITY COLLECTING TIN.”

Hugh, as Charles: “I was telling them before, I only drink warm bitter at the moment…well you would if you spent four hours in a sodding royal barge…”

I also love Hugh throwing in, as Charles is taking a sip, ‘GET IT DOWN, YOU ZULU WARRIOR..”

Kind of trails off, but not without some great drunk lines from Hugh.

Alright Newsreel. Some funny stuff here, but it sort of sagged as it went on

Stand Up Round: Zoe, Chris and Gary

Zoe’s, on the internet, is standard for her, but there’s some good lines. I like her joke about her Twitter stalker eventually throwing in ‘of all my children, you’re the least favorite.’ Lots of obvious ones around that, though.

Chris, on travel, talks about his EasyJet anxiety. “Imagine if your plane crashed…on a snowy mountain…and you all survived? Would you want to eat those people?”

I also like his joke about the woman in Waitrose with a basket full of “a tin of Slimfast and a pregnancy test…she’s probably thinking ‘well, it’s one or the other.”
I like this set from him because it’s less of his usual energy but more of his satire and subversion.

And now, Gary’s highlights, on the topic of relationships [remember, his partner’s already been on]:
-“Last time I was here, a girl asked me for sex, I had to disappoint her….we had sex.”
Again, very fitting considering that it’s the passing of the torch from Sarah to him.
-“Last night I had beef stew with dumplings, I shouldn’t call her that, but she’s a big girl.”
This one has the first instance of a Gary Delaney trademark, and something that sets him apart from a lot of his contemporaries on the show- he cracks up at one of his jokes. Stewart and Milton try to be stoic, but Gary is just the vessel for the jokes, and he sells them when he can but he’s always capable of smiling through them
– “I went to see the stalactites, and our tour guide told us not to crack one off but she wasn’t even very attractive…still managed. Very dark.”
-a pretty genius one: “this morning I went to the first meeting of my premature ejaculate support group…but as it turns out, it’s tomorrow.”
And then, smirkingly, “I think a few of the men started clapping before the end of that joke, by the way.”
-“My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up, I bought her an identical one. She was livid…”what am I gonna do with TWO dead dogs?”
And that punchiness also sets Gary apart from his contemporaries.

Hell of a debut from Gary. Already coming off confident, comfortable and happy onstage. He and Chris made this a little better than recent stand up rounds.

Headliners: P.F.H.E.

Andy: “it is to do with Rooney, is it Potato Head Fancies Elderly?”
Gary, pretty swiftly: “or Pretend Hair Forever.”

Hugh: “d’you know if you dial the number on their shorts, you get through to a help line?”
Again, Hugh’s having a great night

Zoe: “Ashley Cole’s covering his ears as if to protect from an awful screech, so is it Player Hears from Ex?”
YES.

Andy: “is it just simply Players Heads Found Empty?”
I’m glad Andy can still deliver at this round

Dara, of course, shuffles them towards the answer, which means it’s once again time for GOOF ANSWER QUICKFIRE ROUND
Chris: “it’s Pregnant Hooker Frightens England”
This one catches Dara WAY off guard

Hugh: “what this means is that we would have had to play Germany in the next round, which means we lost on penalties 4 days earlier than we normally would have.”

I love how Dara and Chris turn Joe Hart the handsy goalie into someone playing with kids, and it just gets goofier as it goes. I compare it to the Adam Werrity bit from last series.

Andy: “my favorite one was Greece-Germany, because I thought when the referee tossed the coin at the start of the match, the greek captain would knick it and piss off.”

Dara talks about the idea of ‘zombie ball’, where you introduce a zombie onto the pitch and they start biting other players.”
Marcus: “what if Rooney gets bit, how would ya know?”

Not a ton of great stuff in this round, a lot of easy material and things that have been done before. Doesn’t mean there was nothing, there were some good lines, but a bit limp.

Scenes We’d Like to See:

“Unlikely Things to Read on a Health Insurance Form”
Hugh: “do you ever……..temporary blackouts?”

Zoe: “are you suffering from or have you ever had an STD, yew slaaaag?”
Zoe’s having a quieter show, but damn if she’s not getting some fun lines in

Gary: “are you the only black guy in a horror film?” [nods as the audience sorts it out]
and then, Gary: “what’s your blood type? …it can do 50 words a minute, innit bruv?”
Chris LOVES this. Nobody’s expecting Gary to attempt to speak street. And he KNOWS this, and that’s why it works.

Andy: “buddhists…what was your last cause of death?”
Hugh: “DO you smoke? CAN I have one?”

“Unlikely Lines from a War Film”
Chris: “Bad luck, Sir Winston, I’m afraid the second world war’s gone to penalties.”
oh, they’re SALTY salty…
Gary: “it is better to die on your feet than live on your knees…anyway, enough about that Tulisa video”
JEEEESUS, GARY

Chris: “we’re at 500 fathoms. BING. the hull’ll never take it. BING. AND YOU GOING ‘BING’ ISN’T HELPING, EITHER!”
Andy: “Louis, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship…but only if you dress up as a nurse and give me a discharge…”
THAT comes back???

Gary: “in the marines, our motto is ‘no one gets left behind’…Private Cameron, WHERE IS YOUR DAUGHTER?”
Zoe: “don’t put your stuff in that one, it’s got a really catchy edge on it, I call it the Hurt Locker..”
Chris: “MEDIC. MEDIC. I’ll tell ya what the problem is, I’ve been shot in me’dick!”

The second topic was better than the first, but some lulls, and some easy ones. Marcus barely had much to add.

Overall: I cannot help but thinking how much better this show would have been had there been a better panel presence swapped out for Marcus. It’s really just that Gary Delaney was so overwhelmingly good on his first go that I really wish somebody like Ed, or even Josh Widdicombe, were in that seat. Without them, the back bit of Andy’s team felt off all night, and it disrupted what was almost a very fun and energetic panel. And there was so much great energy coming from all 3 regulars, Dara, Gary and even Zoe at times. But man what a difference one bad fit makes, because Marcus just feels like a wasted booking. Not that he was particularly bad, it’s just a lot of his material had either been done before or came from a different place of humor than the rest of the panel. And man did him correcting Dara about Michael Gove not portray him in the best light. Why was that left in at all?

It sucks because at times this show did feel a bit better than last show, and there was a lot of fun back-and-forths throughout, especially considering the continuation of Monsoon Poultry Hospital. But there were also some lulls, some weak points, and Newsreel once again substituting for cut material. I liked a lot of this show, but I can’t completely call it a great show.

Best Regular: Andy Parsons. Narrowly beat out Hugh in penalties.
Best Guest: Uhhh, Gary Fucking Delaney. Maybe Sarah gave him some pointers, but this did NOT feel like a debut episode for Gary. Strong all night, in multiple rounds. Excited for the next few series of his stuff.
Worst Performer: Marcus was a bad fit for this show and he seemed to know it.
Best Round: Stand Up Round had so much solid stuff, and a great debut set from Gary
Best Topic: Tax Evasion
Best Runner: still Monsoon Poultry Hospital

COMING UP NEXT: An important milestone is hit. A beloved guest returns for one last go. Things begin to change drastically. And a quick-thinking director brings us towards a very important full-show running gag.

Mock the Watchdown: S11E02, or CLEAR! BAAAWWK.

So. Coming down from that one, we’ve got another classic. This is what I mean when I say we’ve got another Golden Age on the horizon. The classics are just coming in.

This show brings back old faithful Milton Jones, a final appearance for Carl Donnelly, and the return of one of two Frankie-era recurring guests thrust back into the mix in S11, and that’s Jo Caulfield. I always thought Jo was a bit overrated on Mock, and her recent comments on the comedy scene haven’t done her any favors, but I’m happy that she decided to come back and embrace a new era. I wish more people would do that in a way that didn’t seem odd. Sort of like Ivo Graham making a return in S20, embracing the new semi-regulars like Maisie Adam and Alasdair Beckett-King.

Headliners: C.I.D.W.

Andy: “is it, in fact, all they’ve accomplished at the G20? ‘Checked in, Drank Wine'”
Chris, with a joke he can get away with by pinning it on Merkel: “is Merkel saying ‘Cameron…it’s Denzel Washington!”
Also, literally one show later and Chris’s camp German accent returns

Hugh: “she’s presumably suggesting an answer to the crisis, is she? She’s saying [SQUEAKY GERMAN VOICE] “CALL IN…DARTH…WADER.”
Will he also get a sepp’blatter?
Milton: “or she’s saying ‘Careful, I Declare War…”
That one’s the silliest. Just always threatening a war, using her Germanness to make that work

Hugh, bringing up the summer’s central Cameron story: “is Cameron just going ‘CHILDREN? I…damn. WHERE?”
PFFFF. Perfect how he does that

Milton, not through being silly: “is Merkel saying ‘I’ve lived my life like a…Candle In Da Wind…”
Chris loves this one. As he should.

Dara talks about Cameron discussing the five major crises the euro is facing, and says it’d be funny if he threw in ‘that asteroid’ as if it wasn’t news to everyone. “It would be great, by the way, if we did an episode of this show for people who don’t really watch the news, and then we discuss the asteroid as if this was actually a news story.”
Chris, with the understatement of the century: “I’m pretty sure this show is for people who don’t really watch the news…”

Honestly, a lot of these jokes on the new greek government aren’t hitting too hard. Feels like a lot of them have been done already. Again, we’ve gotta wait a few series for fresh Greek jokes. There’s an amusing bit about Cameron thinking a ‘Greek bailout’ is an Etonian hazing ritual though.

Hugh tries pronouncing where the G20 was in a Mexican accent
Dara: “it doesn’t have to be said like a villager from the Magnificent Seven”
Hugh: “SI!”
They do have a lot of fun with the Mexican setting, about Cameron announcing these five crises with unfitting drinks and mariachi bands undercutting the mood

Hugh, on Milliband: “he labeled Cameron a tainted leader, which is in fact an early song by Soft Cell”

Dara zeroes in on the bit from a Cameron text with Rebecca Brooks that says “let’s discuss this over country supper.”
Carl: “It sounds like a really horrible euphemism. Like, mates, I went over a girl’s place last night, she gave me a country supper..”
Dara: “I hope they weren’t lookin’ for a greek bailout..”

We finally address ‘David Cameron leaving his daughter behind in a pub’-gate on the show, after hinting at it the past episode and a half.

Dara: “by the way, what has Ed Milliband revealed recently?”
Hugh, bluntly: “that he is related to DAVID Milliband…”
Dara: “…ending speculation..”

We eventually have this compare/contrast:

They’ve been doing a lot more comparison jokes, which is just setting up what happens in 2 shows.
Milton: “Actually, I had a long conversation with Ed Milliband about whether he looks like Wallace. It would have been shorter, but every 12 seconds an assistant had to move his arm…”
That is a GENIUS joke

Alright opening round. Great start with the game round, a few topics that didn’t work, and a decent ending. Jo is already going back to her habits of not saying too much [or maybe that’s just how she’s edited], and Hugh is already making up for a quieter 1st episode of the series.

Newsreel: Hugh voices Cameron and Obama

For one of the last times, Newsreel makes regulation

Hugh, as Obama: “vote for me in November, don’t vote for Mitt, his name sounds like an oven glove.”
I forget if this is the first mention of Mitt Romney on the show or not.

Honestly, just seeing Obama and Cameron sat together at an NBA game is funny enough.

Hugh, as Cameron: “We have a bit of a special relationship, but not like that, no, the Church of England would never allow it..”

This isn’t a very substantial one, but I do like the scene Hugh lays out, like Cameron nearly getting into a fight with a belligerent American fan sitting next to Obama.
Hugh, as Obama, coolly and calmly: “he says, uh, would you shut the fuck up?”
That’s SO GOOD

And then, to finish, Hugh, as Cameron: “hang on, I’m almost CERTAIN I had my daughter with me when I came in here…”
Of course

Actually a pretty decent two-hander, and Hugh definitely knew where the humor comes from. Some of the satirical points where a bit stale though

Stand Up Round: Jo, Carl and Milton

Dara: “now we play a round called Happy Birthday Paul Mock-Cartney”
PFFF

Jo’s, on retail, isn’t very groundbreaking. I did like the bit about the Tesco’s checkout lady who Jo handed her Sainsbury’s nectar card to by accident, forcing the checkout lady to check HER OWN NAMETAG, “as if to go ‘maybe she’s RIGHT, maybe I DO work in Sainsbury’s..”
But yeah, not a hell of a lot going on here

Carl, on health, talks about some embarrassing stomach issues he’s had. “One such happened when I went to see Alicia Keys live at the O2 arena…that’s not the embarrassing bit..”
His is more of a story than a full set, about the time he tried to get a stool sample into the bag-checking queue at the concert. It’s got some funny details [“when he pulled it out, I’d never heard more shock in a man’s voice.”]
Though, honestly, I had the same issue with this set as I had with the last one he did, where there wasn’t enough to it from a stand-up perspective. Funny stories can be great onstage, but unless you really do something with them, they’re just that.

Milton’s highlights, on relatives:
-“I didn’t speak to my dad when he was a bus driver, you’re not allowed to…”
-“My brother’s allergic to cheese, not eating it just anytime someone says the name of it he goes [makes funny face]. Doesn’t happen very often, but we have a lot of weird family photos”
You could see the punchline a mile away, but it’s still well crafted
-“My grandfather, he was a GI and he was in the RAF, okay, he was a giraffe..”
-“During the war, when board games were illegal, he was put in jail for being a Yahtzee sympathizer”
OH MY GOD.

-and then, as he likes to every so often: “my uncle, he was a security guard at the O2 arena…”
Carl just nods and applauds. That’s a fantastic move. It proves that Milton, unlike a lot of comedians on this show, is a keen listener when other people are doing sets

Not a great stand-up round, but Milton’s saved it from being completely disposable.

If This is the Answer: Sport; Chickens, Nurses and Rain

Folks…strap in.

Milton: “is it…name three things…?”
PERFECT. He’s not even gonna try

Hugh: “What are the most used sound effects…in the radio drama…Monsoon Poultry Hospital?”
Now, EVEN THIS EARLY, you can hear people, namely Jo, begin to chuckle right before Hugh says the name of the show. Just because it’s such a silly way of going about it
Dara, bad european accent: “THERE’S BEEN ANOTHER MONSOON FOR THE CHICKENS!…why are all the actors SCOTTISH in Monsoon Poultry Hospital?”
Chris: “Is it-”
Dara, still going: “DOCTOR, DOCTOR, AH THINK THIS CHICKEN IS DRROWNING!”
So ALREADY, at MOMENT ONE, Dara loves this gag

Andy, going back to the joke about Greece from earlier: “what are the three things featured in the film Golden Dawn?”
and then Andy: “is it all the things my gran says are stealing her money when I go and visit her in care?”
Dara takes an extra second. The rain is stealing my money

Hugh, gradually going into an impression: “is it what ADDITIONAL THREE THINGS…DID CHURCHILL THINK WE SHOULD FIGHT THEM ON? WE WILL FIGHT THEM ON THE CHICKENS. We will fight them on the NURSES. And on the RAAAIN.”
Hugh is on fire in this round. Even his Churchill from a few series ago returns

Jo, foreshadowing S14: “is it what Greece is planning on using as currency when they leave the Euro?”

Dara pushes towards the answer, which means GOOF JOKE BONUS ROUND
Andy: “Name three things you won’t find in a chicken nugget!”

Hugh, as Dara’s getting impatient: “is it what are the opening stage directions…in the TELEVISION DRAMA…Monsoon Poultry Hospital?”
This made me laugh SO HARD the first time I watched it. He brings it back but with STAGE DIRECTIONS?
Chris, demonstrating: “CHICKENS. NURSES. RAIN. A MAN WALKS THROUGH THE FOG.”
That brought it home for me.

Chris: “what was the name of Foghorn Leghorn’s controversial early-career porn film?”
I love this one too
Dara: “I’m sorry, I wanna do more chicken nurse hospital- CLEAR! BAAAWK! CLEAR! BAWWK!”
The single best thing about this gag is how much fun Dara has with it. Because it’s completely appropriate, it’s his kind of silly, and it’s got a good chance of going in. A lot like the Elves.
Hugh, Scottish accent: “doctor, get me the basterr..”
Dara: “can we please…we’re just amusing ourselves now…”

It’s about Danny Boyle’s plan for the opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympics, complete with artificial clouds that could produce rain if need be
Hugh: “I didn’t think that was why he was doing it, I thought it’s cause he’s a filmmaker, and he was doing a film version…of Monsoon Poultry Hospital.”
Dara: “and people are going ‘well where are all the scottish accents?’, and it’s [bad American accent] “Docterrr, this chicken seems ta be ill, CLEEARRR”

Dara lists all the animals used in here, including, cheekily, “a spider, a fly, and an old woman. And the main question here is ‘will she die?'”

Hugh: “at the end, they’re lighting a flame, I say flame, they’re lighting a pyre of cows that have died from foot-in-mouth.”

Andy talk about a destroyer in the middle of the Thames in case of an attack. “How do they think al Qaeda are gonna attack? Some sort of armada coming up the river?”
Dara, miming rowing: “They won’t be expecting THIS!”
Andy: [HUMS HAWAII FIVE-O THEME]
I love seeing how silly Andy can get, especially in this era

Chris: “The closing ceremony is just gonna be Boris Johnson just in overalls and wellies going ‘GET OFF MY LAAAND!”

Milton: “My grandfather won first in the Olympic limbo competition, but they wouldn’t give him the medal, they just said he came last in the high-jump..”
I kinda love that Milton just keeps lines in his pocket at any point

A very brisk ITITA, but the quality stayed very high throughout, especially concerning that legendary runner. Look, obviously Newsreel was added because something in this round was too dirty for air, and therefore a lot had to be cut and offset, but even with Newsreel being abrupt and less good, this is still a fine round on its own. They obviously can get a lot out of the olympic topic, as they did in 2008.

Scenes We’d Like to See:

“Unlikely Things to Hear at Euro 2012”
Hugh: “well, this French team has 3 strikers. Luckily, the other 8 have agreed to play.”
Andy: “and the greeks have reached the quarterfinal. If only they’d had a massive bet on that..”

Chris, dryly: “well, I’ve never seen that on a pitch before, it seems the referee really IS a wanker..”

Milton, with a very silly action: “Here in Ukraine, we launch campaign,”
As that is silly enough, there’s already laughter
Milton: “…keep football out of racism.”

Carl: “and that is some incredible dribbling there from the Irish supporters.”
WE CUT TO DARA:

Carl just waves

Jo, who must miss Frankie: “and things are about to get ugly, as we return back to the studio with Adrian Chiles.”
Andy: “and it’s Germany against Greece, the ultimate dilemma for the british royal family..”
Andy, similarly: “so, Germany are camped in the Polish half…not for the first time..”

“Things You Wouldn’t Hear on a Political Discussion show”
Andy: “round the table tonight, Eric Pickles…and round another table, four other politicians..”
Andy’s had a pretty strong show as well, and if it weren’t for Monsoon Poultry Hospital he’d be leading things

Hugh: “Yes, I know that Britain’s performance in the second half hasn’t been all we’ve hoped for, but there’s a reason for that. See, this is a tough job, and…I am shit at it.”

Chris, with simplicity: “…is anyone else horny?”
IT’S THAT SIMPLE. And it’s just funny as hell

Carl: “and now we’re gonna head over and see what the polls are telling us [vaguely polish accent] HULLOOOOUGH!”
Now, that is a funny joke, but the execution BAFFLES the panel.

Chris: “are they chinese now?”
Carl, owning up to it: “yeah, I did a chinese…”
Dara: “It sounds like PORISH the way we say here…down in PO-RAND.”
I will allow it on account of him being offensive ironically

Hugh, show him how it’s done: “right, let’s go over to Wales and see what they’re saying to us- [WHALE NOISE]”
THAT is really damn funny, and it only offends whales

Andy: “and so we have a question for the prime minister from Nancy Cameron, aged 8, and it’s “…when are you going to pick me up, daddy?”
It may not be a central topic, but they sure are having fun with it

Some weaker spots in this round, but pretty good overall. The regulars did a lot of the lifting though, which figures.

Overall: Whenever I cover these episodes known for a running gag, I try and decipher whether or not the show is still a classic without the help of the gag. With some, like the Elves show and the Sepp Blatter show, it’s still insanely funny even without the gag because of the energy of the taping. And others, like ultimately the anal lube show, would fall apart without the use of the gag. This one I would say belongs to the latter category. Without Monsoon Poultry Hospital this is a perfectly passable S11 show, belonging itself a bit more to S10 ideologies than second golden age ones, with a great turn from Milton and a very fun SWLTS to end it. The gag adds so much, and elevates a lot more of the energy of the show…but it’s a gag that doesn’t require the use of a full panel, it’s really just the regulars who contribute to it.

Plus, this is an unfortunate panel that can’t really conduct running gags because Carl and Jo are pretty self-reliant, and Milton is a bit quieter in conversation rounds. You needed somebody like Ed, Stewart, Andi or Greg to keep the energy reverberating, but this is what we had at the time. The good news is that more reliable panel connectors would be around very soon.

Best Regular: Hugh Dennis, obviously. You remember this show for the runner, the runner is all him, and he had excellent stuff all night.
Best Guest: Milton dominated the most out of the three.
Worst Performer: Jo didn’t have a ton of fresh stuff to really offer in this one.
Best Round: If this is the Answer, which had so much fun stuff for its shorter runtime.
Best Topic: Olympics
Best Runner: Monsoon Poultry Hospital

COMING UP NEXT: The first of the players that will be all over the second golden age debuts.

Mock the Watchdown: S11E01, or So That I Don’t Mess Me JEANS Up..

Probably one of the longest hiatuses I’ve taken on here in a while wraps up. I have a little time to do these again. And considering that Mock the Week now has a solid conclusion date, I feel like I should get back to doing this Watchdown.

So. Here’s why the ‘second golden age’ I’ve referred to begins with Series 11.

When I think of the first golden age, which I’ve made clear is Series 3 to around Series 7ish, I think of so many different people being in the right place at once. Not only the regulars, with Frankie and Russell as dueling anchors, but great guests like David Mitchell, Mark Watson, Ed Byrne, Stewart Francis, Adam Hills and Fred MacAulay. So many great episodes in this era happened because of a great rep company, a great group of regulars, and so much magic coming together.

I equate it to the first cast of Saturday Night Live. Nothing like that was being done, and the original crew of people like Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Jane Curtin and Bill Murray are remembered so fondly because of how stellar their output was, and how it was a coming-together of talented people, even for a short while.

To that end, people point to a second golden age with SNL, the 1986-1993 casts, or more accurately the Dana Carvey years, where it was an entirely different dynamic, with many more players [including Phil Hartman, Jan Hooks, Jon Lovitz, Kevin Nealon, Chris Farley, Mike Myers and Adam Sandler], and the quality was arguably even higher.

And that’s what the second golden age of MTW feels like to me. A wider rep company, more people coming in and out, but really just the amount of funny people coming together at once to create great shows. From Series 11 to Series 15, Mock the Week utilizes a core featuring Josh Widdicombe, Miles Jupp, Rob Beckett, Sara Pascoe, Gary Delaney, James Acaster, Romesh Ranganathan, Katherine Ryan, Ed Gamble, Rhys James and, inevitably, Ed Byrne, Milton Jones, Zoe Lyons and Holly Walsh. That is a lot of funny people coming to the show at once, and that includes Hugh, Andy, and, for a bit, Chris. Three of these names are going to come onboard this series.

What’s important is that these are all very new players to the comedy scene. In the past, Mock had relied upon established comics, owing back to the ‘six of the funniest comics in Great Britain’ tag of yore. But now, Mock was about to become a breeding ground for new talent. The second golden age is where Mock the Week goes from being the pillars of the comedy scene to a place where up-and-coming comics can get discovered, which is a move that will eventually end the second golden age, as a lot of these players would eventually get their own shows and become too big for Mock the Week, meaning that the era the show would ride til the end would be one rife with inconsistency.

Strangest of all, this second golden age kicks off with this episode, 11×01, an episode that is very much rooted in what made the strong but self-contained Series 10 work. For instance, this is Micky Flanagan’s last Mock the Week, this is Greg Davies’ penultimate episode, and it’s a very runner-based and goofy-voice-centric show. This is the kind of thing we’re gonna be leaving behind as we get further into this era, but it’s all over this one. And yes, it’s one of my favorites, but to me it almost belongs in S10.

So…let’s dive right in. Hugh, Andy, Chris, Micky, Greg, and the returning Nathan Caton, who I loved his last time out. Right into 2012.

Headliners: O.B.E.C.

[stifles laughs knowing what’s coming]

Andy: “is it in fact Old Berliner Eats Chin?”
She’s not a donut!
Nathan, also trying to interpret that face: “is Merkel going ‘OHHH, BUBBLEGUM’S EXTRA CHEWY?”

Greg: “this is clearly…uh, Opulent Bellend Enjoys Coffee”
A lot of these are going for the clapter because they’re all upset with Osborne at the moment
Micky, much less clapter-y: “OSBORNE BANGS EURO CUTIE!”
GREG LOVES THIS ONE. Micky, seeing he’s got Greg back, goes ‘we’re off!’

Now, Chris is fluent in German, so he actually has a leg up in this round. “Is Merkel saying Oberschichtige Berühmte Englische Currywurst?”
[Top Class Famous English Currywurst]
The only problem is, nobody else on the panel knows any German:
Dara: “…LEMME JUST CHECK THE NOTES IF THAT’S UH…yeah, that’s ACTUALLY the correct answer!”

So now everybody’s been given the go ahead to do accents, which is bad news for Micky
Hugh: “is it a spanish comment on what’s going on in their country? is it [Mexican accent] OH BLIMEY…ES…CASTASTROPHE?”
Dara, finger to earpiece: “what was that? Could we move OFF the foreign voices?”
Chris, however, knows what this means: “yes, Merkel is saying Offensichtliche Beschämende Egoistische Currywurst”
[Obvious, Shameful, Selfish Currywurst]
And I love that Dara immediately no-sells him: “NO. NO, that’s NOT the correct answer.” This is a great episode for Dara’s no-selling.

This is the sort of annoyed energy Dara hasn’t had since the Frankie days, the ‘please stop doing this’ and then they keep doing it energy. “Can we just- genuinely, cause then we can do the correct answer and then I can get up and move on with my life.”
FIRST SHOW OF THE SERIES and he already wants to move on with his life.
I love, therefore, Hugh’s immediate reply of, in a thick German accent, “EES ET OUTREITCHT BERLIN…”
Dara: “NOOO, THAT’S EVEN WORSE..”
Chris, even more aggressively: “Merkel is saying ‘Orangefarbige Bestechliche Ehrgeizige Currywurst!’
[Orange, Corrupt, Ambitious Currywurst]
Dara, who is done: “STOP SAYING GERMAN THINGS.”
Hugh, with the simple one that drives it over the line [a la Frankie’s ‘two fat hairy cocks’] “or is it Osborne believes he is Elvis’s Child?”
SILLY ENOUGH TO WORK

Dara: “there IS an answer to this…”
Chris, behind him: “Osborne’s Bollocksed Everyone’s Cash?”
That’s almost like an Andy one
Chris, smirking: “How about a compromise, what if we give you the right answer, BUT IN A GERMAN ACCENT?”
This is what Chris Addison is capable of, and why I’m so glad he’s a part of the show, even for such a short time

Dara: “it is difficult to take the world’s economy seriously when the world bank is written as BANCOOOOO, it’s genuinely easier to think that they probably don’t do ‘HEYY, BIENVENIDOS EL BANCOOOOO! BANCO BANCO BANCO..”

[come quick, the Latinos are mutating and they’re heating up the planet!]
Chris: “THIS accent’s alright, is it, Dara?”
PFFF
Dara: “I’m sorry”
Chris: “to be honest, Dara, you’ve been doing a ridiculous accent since the beginning of this series…”
[Why did I get a Frankie vibe from that line? Maybe it’s the seat]

Micky has a good joke about cognates making it easy to get around in Spain. “Supermercado, that’s a supermarket, banco, that’s a bank, barro, that’ll be a bar…y’ever been to Japan? NOTHING.”

Micky: “I was in the bank the other day, this is absolutely true, a man had a shit on the floor.”
AND THIS DARA REACTION:

I LOVE THAT
Micky: “it was the most shocking thing I have ever seen in my life”
Andy: “that is one HELL of a deposit that man has made…”
Greg: “he probably does all of his banking on the internet, but he couldn’t log on that day..”
BOOM

Chris: “the Greeks are really angry, they’re building a horse and everything..”

Dara: “what has Osborne hinted at in regard to Europe?”
Chris, who is on an absolute tear: “…that he might be gay”
Dara: “NO….not…hinting that he’s gay?”
MICKY’S GONE
Chris: “I’m really sorry”
Dara, not believing this: “I WILL say it again…”
Hugh starts in with the answer
Dara: “wait, I have to do it without him going ‘he might be gay'”

So Dara asks the question in full once again
Chris, without batting an eye: “…that he might be gay.”
Dara: “no.”

Micky brings up a point of ‘what happens if a country leaves’, which sort of foreshadows Brexit. He also uses the phrase ‘swimming about’, which delights and confuses Dara.
Micky: “how can you let someone vote on something when they don’t know what they’re doing?”
Chris: “that’s what happens at general elections…”
MORE CLAPTER
Micky, in a very prescient way: “I like the direction this show’s taken…”

Chris says that the UK isn’t the most responsible nation because a dog just won Britain’s Got Talent
Dara: “IT CAN WALK ON ITS HIND LEGS.”
Chris: “we may as well vote in a pineapple with a face drawn on it because it looks FUNNY.”
Dara, also predicting the future: “…you mean, Boris Johnson essentially?”

HOW FUCKING…okay. We move onto a topic Andy introduces that Boris Johnson is being talked about as a future prime minister [!!!] but then reveals that because Johnson was born in America, he’d be more likely to be the next US President, “WHICH WOULD BE MY PREFERENCE.” And the joke is that everybody would want something like that because it’d be really funny. THIS REALLY DOESN’T LOOK GOOD IN 2022. Again, I love this episode and this show, but this ‘vote the funny man in’ mentality leads to awful political regimes like what the US and UK have been fighting off for the past 7 years.

Incredible opening round. Not only did it have that excellent Headliners, which…I mean, so much chaotic energy there, but a lot of really nice topics, time for people like Chris and Micky to shine, and just some really good energy. And this is the start of the series.

Stand Up Round: Andy, Nathan and Chris

Micky, in his last show, does not do the stand-up round, foreshadowing his burgeoning star.

Andy, on finance: “I would argue that anyone who bought the autobiography of the talking meerkat, Alexander Orlov, YOU have too much money…”
Yes, the Compare the Meerkat jokes continue in S11

Andy brings up recent fads, like “a cozy sofa blanket with sleeves, CALLED A SLANKET” as reasons for people overspending.

Andy also mentions the overpriced smoothies. “Go out to the supermarket and buy yourself a banana, costs 20 pence, take a bite, go [WOBBLES CHEEKS FOR 5 SECONDS], you will have saved yourself 2 pounds 49…”
I put this somewhere in the middle of Andy’s large grouping of MTW sets, but I did like how pointed his satirical idea was, and how it seemed a bit different from his usual obvious punchlines

Nathan’s set, on health, concerns the period of his youth where the medical files had him listed as a woman by mistake, and invited him for a ‘cervical screening’. “This is where I messed up. See, at 17, I knew what ‘cervical’ was, that’s obvious, but what I didn’t know was that there was more than one meaning to the word ‘screening’.”
It’s a good set, but honestly where he lost some ground with me was the bit after this where he explained the joke. There was applause after that joke, the audience got what he meant. Though I did like the detail of him showing up to the doctor’s with “nachos, popcorn and pick’n’mix.”

Chris, on relaxation, has a bit about Waitrose’s ESSENTIAL lavender-scented candles. “BECAUSE WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.”
Like usual, a lot of this set is overplaying and exaggerating, but this did work for Chris’s impression of whale noise CDs. [CACOPHONOUS WHALE NOISES] “are you relaxed?” “dear, I’ve never been more at peace” [MORE WHALE NOISES]

Chris: “I once saw a CD once with ‘RELAX with PURE SCOTTISH MOODS.’ [YELLS TITLE IN SCOTTISH ACCENT]
heyyy, Peter’s gonna get mad…

Yeah, Chris’s set was good, but his overplaying did weigh this one down a bit.

Decent stand-up round overall. I had issues with all three sets but none were completely bad.

If This is the Answer: Home News; Trains, Toilets and Celebrities

[stifles more laughs knowing what’s coming]

Even Nathan’s opening one is funny: “is it if you’re going to make a sex tape on public transport, what three things do you need?”
Chris: “is it, according to the coalition agreement, which 3 things do the lib-dems have responsibility for?”
Hugh: “is it name 3 things I’ve left my umbrella in?”
PFFFF
Dara just buckles after visualizing that third one

Micky: “is it three things you’re probably best not to lick clean?”
Chris, as Greg is still laughing: “is it what is the name of Thomas the Tank Engine’s no-holds barred autobiography?”
I love this one

And now Greg: “is it what Peter Andre answers when he’s asked what his daily routine is? [HIGH PITCHED SLIGHTLY AUSTRALIAN VOICE] I TRAINS, I TOILETS…AND I CELEBRITIES.”
Chris: “…high pitched but not Australian anymore?”
Greg, slightly more Australian: “I TRAINS, I TOILETS…AND I CELEBRUTOIGHS..”
Chris, high pitched: “I went to a voice coach to get rid of me Australian accent, and I CAN’T HELP THINKING SHE’S DONE SOMETHING WRONG..”
Greg, jokingly put off: “I’VE BEEN IN THIS COUNTRY AWHILE SO SOMETIMES I SLIP INTO BOTH FUCKIN’ ACCENTS, CHRIS!”
This is so damn silly. Just the silly voices alone, but the spite behind them

AND THEN GREG HAS TO EXPLAIN THE JOKE: “I TRAINS CAUSE OF ME SIX-PACK…”
Dara: “I GET IT. I GET IT.”
Greg: “I TOILETS SO THAT…I DON’T MESS ME *JEANS* UP…”
[That part always gets me. It’s barely improvised, it feels]
Greg: “AND THEN I CELEBRITIES TO MAKING THE MONEY FOR THE kiids..”
That’s the funniest bit. The way he says ‘kids’. The volume just breaks and he just shifts the inflection and it breaks me.
SURE ENOUGH:

Dara, after recovering: “…does anyone have another answer?”

Andy: “I think I got it..”
Dara, annoyed: “…that is NOT the buildup to the correct answer, but go on…”
Andy, now amused: “is it name three things I’ve puked up on at the end of a festival?”
PFFFF

Chris: “I KNOW THE ANSWER, DARA. I’ll give you the real answer.”
Dara, not completely convinced, peers over
Chris: “what are the three main talking points on a Saga holiday?”
THAT is good
Andy, as Dara’s still laughing at that one: “IS IT THREE THINGS THAT ARE FULL’A SHIT?”
NOW MICKY’S GONE

Dara has to stop laughing, and motion to Greg going “I’m still on the Peter Andre thing”
Greg, high pitched: “YOU LIKED THAT, DIDN’T YOU DARA?”
Greg KNOWS this is what gets Dara, and he keeps hitting it. And this just keeps building
Dara: “where I makes the money for the children, that was the bit that got me…”
Chris, Peter Andre voice: “IS IT…?”
Dara: “NO…”
Chris, who HAS the answer, still does the voice: “WHAT THREE THINGS WERE MOST COMPLAINED ABOUT AT THE QUEEN’S JUBILEE?”
Dara: “if you could do that in a proper voice.”
And then…Chris jumps back to the top of the show in one of the greatest callbacks I have ever seen: “VHAT SVEE SINGS VERE MOST COMPLAINED ABOUT…?”

And then Chris does the answer again, and the…madness dies down for a moment.

A lot of this jubilee stuff is pretty simple for a foreigner like me, but I did like the bit about the Tower bridge technicians turning into an action movie

Ah yes, 2012, Nathan mentions Rolf Harris was at this jubilee. Again, as much as I loved this episode…not all of it has aged well.

Dara mentions Grace Jones popping out with a hula-hoop, which is as silly of a visual as it is when he reenacts it. “I genuinely thought ‘am I the only one seeing this?’ ‘SLAAAAVE…. TO THE RHYTHM…’ WHO *BOOKED* GRACE JONES?”
Chris: “she wasn’t hula-hooping, she’d been imprisoned by the elders of Krypton.”

Dara: “Why is the weather making headlines?”
Chris: “because the weather outside is frightful, ALTHOUGH THE FIRE INSIDE…is delightful.”
That ‘best regular’ position isn’t even gonna be close, is it?

Andy: “they have had some problems with caravans, haven’t they?”
Dara: “…THAT IS PUTTING IT MILDLY…”
I kinda loved this editing decision
Andy: “well the thing about caravans is that you can actually MOVE THEM, CAN’T YOU?”

Nathan talks about the woman vacationing in Wales saying it’s a disaster. “And you’re thinking, if you’re married to a man whose idea of a honeymoon is taking a vacation to Wales in a caravan, it’s already a bloody disaster.”
Just like his first go, Nathan is a really nice panel presence tonight, mostly just as a standard stand-up mind

Andy: “in Littlehampton, where did they put the flood victims…they PUT THEM…in the LOCAL SWIMMING BATHS. I mean, that’s just taking the piss, isn’t it? It’d be like putting earthquake victims in a bouncy-castle..”
This is clearly Chris’s episode, but Andy is gaining some ground with his emphasis in this round

Not as good as the opening round, but man is that ITITA just a masterclass of gags building on top of each other. The other topics were fun too, with Dara taking a lot of stuff himself. I’m noticing that Micky is a lot quieter in this one, and all show honestly. It’s been harder for him to really fit into things. I guess this explains why this is his last one.

Scenes We’d Like to See:

“Unlikely Things to Hear at an Award Ceremony”
Chris: “and the winner is, Dara O’Briain.”
DARA:

and we’re off!

Nathan, bringing this up even if the show didn’t have time: “and the winner of driver of the year goes to David Cameron for his perfectly-executed u-turns!”
Hugh: “Welcome to the National Insincerity Awards, and can I just say [big smile] WHAT A PLEASURE IT IS…”

Hugh, with maybe the 60th piece of foreshadowing of the show: “would you please welcome, your host for the night…..DEC!”
Funny then, but now they’ve actually presented shows solo

Micky: “and the award for best Actress this evening goes to John Travolta’s wife.”
BOOM. I’ve always loved this one. Yes, tragic now, but a complete, Frankie-esque slam at that marriage.

And now Greg: “Predictably, for the 50th year running, the Rear of the Year goes to the same person, come on up, Chris.”
[silence]
Greg: “…it was a Chris Rea joke.”
I am 90% sure they edited around a swear.
By the time Nathan comes up, the audience is just laughing at the patheticness of that one.

Nathan: “and the winner of best film…CLING! CLINGFILM!”
PFFFF.
This gets a slightly better response
Greg, going towards the audience: “OH, SO THAT WAS ALRIGHT, WAS IT?”
This is so damn silly. Greg’s strengths in this era haven’t been specifically nailing jokes, but for just nailing jokes about the little in-between subtleties around jokes.

Greg: “and the best posthumously-released rap record goes to Kim Jong for ‘I Told You I Was Il”
UNIVERSAL APPLAUSE. And Greg’s just not forgiving the audience yet.
Greg: “TOO LATE.”
Chris:
What a contrast

Andy: “here to present the award for Best Film in a Foreign Language, would you please welcome, Nick Griffin.”
[I still go back to the joke about him always looking like he can see his wife having sex with Ainsley Harriott]

Greg, now devoid of any remorse: “AND THE WINNER OF REAR OF THE YEAR, CHRIS REA.”
APPLAUSE, AT GUNPOINT

“Unlikely Lines from a Thriller”
Hugh: “what more evidence do you need that there’s a mole? Look at the lawn!”
Andy: “your wife’s head in a box? You must be the most unlucky contestant ever on Deal or No Deal..”

Greg: “I want to make you a vodka martini…YOU CAN’T HANDLE VERMOUTH.”
I love how he just walks off, basking in the laughs with a middle finger in the air

Andy: “is that a gun in my pocket or are you just pleased to see me?, she purred. Yes, it is a gun in my pocket…and I’ve just shot my cock off…”
PERFECT

Nathan does a subversion on the usual ‘Blofeld stroking a cat’ joke done in these rounds, but the intensity and timing “we meet at-AAAAAGGHHH, FLIPPING CAT!” makes it work

Greg: “I would like to gently lift your horse’s foot.”
[Chris chuckles in advance]
Greg: “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE HOOF.”

Greg: “and as his eyes gradually became accustomed to the shadowy darkness, he realized he was not alone in that room. ‘Who is it?’ “…IT’S ME, PETER ANDRE!!!”
AND OF COURSE WE COME BACK

Very strong SWLTS. I’ve often thought of the Award Show round as one of the most packed ones they ever did.

Overall: …Yeah, still as classic as I remember. Yes, Micky and Hugh were a bit more muted, but even they contributed to the unmistakably wild energy to this one. Greg was sprouting runners all night and working off the performers and audience. Chris was in an amazing mood and had so many perfect answers against Dara. The opening Headliners with the accents and the ITITA with Peter Andre are both iconic. There’s so many great conversation bits that everyone forgets. Nathan does a solid job all night as the more traditional panel presence. And MAN that Stand Up Round is really good. A very full, satisfying show that both jumpstarts the next stage of MTW and puts the last few series’ to bed.

Best Regular: Chris Addison. Putting anyone else here doesn’t make sense.
Best Guest: Greg Davies. Nathan had the more traditional show, but Greg farmed the biggest laughs and had the biggest night in that sense.
Worst Performer: Micky Flanagan seemed to be less enthused about this taping than his last few. At least he laughed.
Best Round: Headliners. Oh my god, what a way to open the show, and the season. Even Micky’s best stuff is in here.
Best Topic: The flooding
Best Runner: German accents

COMING UP NEXT: Folks…if you thought THIS ultra-specific ITITA one was iconic…