Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E23, or The Points Suddenly Matter

One more S4 taping before we go back even further. This episode comes from the same Kathy taping that gave us the very strong episode 13. Hopefully the good luck keeps up.

Number of Words: The deleted scene from The Wizard of Oz: Kathy is Dorothy and she has just arrived in Munchkinland where she’s met by Wayne, who’s a munchkin, and Colin, who’s Glinda the Good Witch, Ryan is the Wicked Witch of the West
Kathy – 3 words
Wayne – 5 words
Colin – 2 words
Ryan – 4 words

Wayne is lucky enough that  “We represent the Lollipop Guild” is 5 words. Just played right into his hands.

Colin’s Billie Burke voice [“IIIIN MUNCHKINLAND!”] gets laughs from Drew. Colin nonchalantly coughs right after that.

Wayne does another line, “Oh no, it’s the witch”, then counts and makes sure he’s good. Wayne’s doing little things, but they’re working

Ryan, getting out of the scene: “Oh, no, I’M MELTING”
Colin, rationalizing: “it’s hot!”

Kathy, to Colin: “Take me home!”
Colin, with nothing: “….no room.”
Wayne: “I’ve got a car….outside!”
Colin, shaking his head: “On probation”

Ryan: “You drive a Cadillac?”
Wayne, struggling: ‘….yeah….I just…got it!”

Wayne starts operating the blow-up tires that bop his car back and forth. Ryan tries doing the same thing with his broom. Once Drew buzzes, he says to Kathy and Colin “that’s not what you think it is!”
Colin: “I know, but STILL.”

A very clumsy playing of this. It got better towards the end when it focused more on  goofy comedy details than story beats of the original.

The gimmick in this show is that Drew’s actually tallying the points up. Possibly coming off the 401 taping with the 100 dollar bills.

Infomercial: Hairy Chests

Drew: “Lot of people have huge chest hair, want to get rid of it”
Colin: [confusedly motions back to Drew]

Colin: “Does it look like your chest is eating a…dog?”

I love the detail of Ryan accidentally getting hypnotized by a disco ball prop, snapping out of it, then  starting the game over again: “HI, IT’S FOUR-O-CLOCK-”
Also, while he does this, Colin pulls out a pink slip, then uses Ryan’s gag as a cover to discard it.

Ryan, repeatedly slapping the table: “What happens if you take off too much hair? In case that happens, we’ll give you decoy hair!”

I also love Colin’s little yelp when Ryan takes the hair prop away

Colin: “Well, of course, sometimes plucking doesn’t help-”
Ryan: “I’m sorry?”
Colin: “PLUCKING.”
This gets a big laugh. Not from me, from the audience. What gets a big laugh from me is, once the audience dies down, Colin and Ryan doing a communal head nod to go right back into it

Colin: “What CAN help…is massive sucking.”
Ryan, eventually: “and as we all know, there’s no sucking like MASSIVE sucking.”

Colin has a net prop that will collect the chest hair at half-level, “and through the night, hopefully, will migrate towards the top of my head”

Not one of my favorite Infomercials. I got the feeling that they never really got going, and that none of the jokes really caught fire, and got momentum going.

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Carly, who works in the bankruptcy department of a mortgage company, as Prince.

Once the Let’s Go Crazy organ comes in, Wayne cackles.

Wayne, nailing that song opening: “…in this little thing…that we call…bankruptcy.”

Wayne: “I used to have a house. Don’t have it no more
Ever since Carly and the cops keep knock-knock-knockin’ at my door”
Perfect

Wayne, unlike his last S1 Prince song, has more of a handle on his Prince yelps, and spaces them out a bit more.

Wayne: “You might be good lookin, but she’ll kick you out if you ain’t got no money, OWWW.”
Yeah, he’s got this down

Not a bad song from Wayne. It did peter off towards the end, but I did like all his lyrical tricks, and his usually-strong Prince impression.

The points are like “Everything else when you own a Porsche.”
Ryan: “None of us would know, Drew.”

Scenes from a Hat:

“Times when you don’t want a spotlight on you”
Kathy: “I’ll just try on these bikinis in here, I guess.”
Wayne, deep voice: “I’ll just try on these bikinis in here, I guess.”
Colin: “man…that was one bad burrito.”

“Unlikely Famous Movie Scenes to be done Nude”
Kathy: “THHEEE HILLS ARE ALLLLIIIIIVE”
[Kathy’s kinda killing it this SFAH]
I also love Wayne’s Star Wars one, where Colin feels around nonexistent pockets for his lightsaber

“The wrong thing to say when your girlfriend is trying on clothes”
Ryan: “You…are so…gorgeous….[to someone else] Yeah, looks good!”
Wayne: “…it’d look better on Colin…”

Another light SFAH. That’s what happens when you do like 40 per season.

Newsflash: Ryan and Kathy in the studio, Colin in the field in front of lizards

Lot of Newsflash recently. Just an observation.

Once again, Ryan leaves space for Kathy to intro Colin, and she doesn’t take the hint.

A lizard suddenly yanks a fly out of mid-air
Ryan: “…and I’ve seen that somewhere before, by the way”

On a lizard with an extending mane, Ryan: “Now what’s that one called?”
Colin: “That one’s called…Charlie.”

I do love the shot of Colin running in time with the lizard with its mouth open behind him

Not a great Newsflash.

World’s Worst: Thing to say or do during or after making love

Colin, back to Infomercial: “D’you ever think about that chest hair removal thing?”
Ryan: [sound of deflating]
Drew: “WHO’S A GOOD PUPPY? YOU’RE A GOOD PUPPY.”
WOW. WOW, DREW.
Wayne: “You know, I’d give you 1000 points, but the points don’t matter…”

Yeah, even that one wasn’t great. Like they took the suggestion more literally than it needed to be.

Overall: Barely anything worked here. Really the only game I liked in this was Song Styles, and that one had a worse 2nd half. Number of Words failed, Infomercial and Newsflash couldn’t get momentum going, SFAH and World’s Worst were too light. Nothing…worked in this one. You could honestly see this one more at home in S7, but this taping already has two S7 episodes.

Show Winner; Kathy
Best Performer: Colin was strong tonight.
Worst Performer: Kathy only really had SFAH.
Best Game: Song Styles, by default.
Worst Game: Number of Words didn’t work too well tonight.

COMING UP NEXT: We go back to SEASON 3, with a Brad taping we’ve seen a few times. Here, we have some material that somehow didn’t make it on 2 seasons ago, involving a CLASSIC game of Sound Effects

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E22, or Fudda-Dudda-Dudda?

This Chip episode comes from the same taping as episodes 9 and 14 of this season. Relatively good stuff, though nothing too overwhelming.

Hollywood Director: Ryan’s a criminal breaking rocks in the prison yard, Chip’s the tough prison warden who decides to frisk him because he suspects he’s carrying a concealed weapon, and then Wayne flies in on a helicopter to help Ryan escape

From Chip’s first line of dialogue, ‘HOLD ON ONE SECOND THERE, SON”, I already love his characterization, and his just-southern-enough warden

Ryan, getting up against the wall: “You’ve got nothin’ against me, warden.”
Chip, cleverly: “…I’m about to.”

Wayne enters with a very funny helicopter noise [“FIDDLY-FIDDLY-FIDDLY”]

I also love Ryan yanking Wayne back and forth once one of his engines blows

Colin: ‘…THAT WAS  BAD/THAT WAS REALLY REALLY BAD
That’s my CA-RAP.”
Wayne, Ryan and Chip: ‘…OHHHHHH!”
There’s one groan from the audience, which Ryan audibly chuckles at

Ryan has some great Bob Fosse moves to start that section

The Fosse bit is really funny, and Ryan and Chip have some good musical moves, before:

Wayne comes in with the helicopter noise, rhythmically, from backstage
Chip, aloof but sung: “WHAT’S THAT NOIIIISE?”
[I’ve always laughed at that]

The Cheesy 70s Porn style also works- Chip comes in to dated 70s porn music
Chip: “Yeah, I heard some of your rocks were broken…”

Ryan: “I guess you want me up against the wall again…”
Chip: “Well, that’s the title of the movie, so you better do it.”
[Ryan Stiles IS…Up Against the Wall. A big hit in Greece, I’m told]

Wayne, ringing the doorbell: “Fudda-dudda-dudda?”
I LOVE THIS. It’s gone from being an actual helicopter impression to just a casual saying of ‘Fudda-dudda-dudda?’. So damn silly

The Stomp one is pretty genius, as all three get into a really good rhythm while doing the same story beats. Something like this is why Director was made- same beats, different style. This is pretty much one of the more traditional Director playings, and I think it should be a standard for people trying to teach this game

Drew: “Wonder how many guys are gonna use that as pick up lines to their wives this week. Fudda-Dudda-Dudda!”

Sound Effects: Ryan is an explorer and Colin is a beautiful, feisty research scientist, they’re on an expedition down a mighty river in Africa to capture King Kong

I don’t give Drew enough credit as a fan of old-school comedy, so here’s a joke of his that I love. These are Cheryl and Sally:

Drew: “Sally, do you own a little bird named Tweety?”

THAT IS SPOT ON. TOO DAMN ACCURATE, DREW. I usually can take-or-leave Drew’s offhandedness, but that is too damn good. Even she gets a kick out of that.
Cheryl: “Easy on my mother!”
Drew: “I’m sorry, she has a remarkable resemblance!”
Ryan just immediately turns away from Drew, not wanting to admit how right he is.

Colin drops at the mention of playing a “beautiful, feisty research scientist”
Colin, nearly foreshadowing the last taping of S4: “Feisty!”

Colin, to start: “I’M FIESTY.”

Fun start, as neither SFX lady can do a very good raft-inflating noise
Colin: “Why don’t we use the canoe?”

Then, as they drop the canoe in the water, both ladies do a unified “SPLOOSH”
Ryan and Colin look kinda impressed
Colin: “This is my first time on Sploosh River”

Ryan gets into the canoe
Sally: “AHHHH”
Ryan: “I get the padded seat!”

In response to some ‘GUN…GUN….GUN…” sounds
Ryan: “HE’S COMIN’…AND HE’S GOT A GUN!”

After some spirited but dull Kong noises
Ryan: “He seems mildly agitated!”
Colin: “I think he has a really bad cold!”
Cheryl, in response, sneezes. Ryan and Colin try  to wipe it off. That’s a great use of response improv, using an offhanded joke and taking it

Colin tries shooting Kong numerous times, but Cheryl doesn’t make any gun noises. Frantically, Colin just starts beating him down with the gun, which is such a silly move.

An alright SFX, but both ladies were really excited, and doing a nice job. Not a lot of jokes to take from there.

Drew: “Hey, Laura Hall has a new album out. 74 minutes on a CD of NOTHIN BUT HOEDOWN.”

Newsflash: Ryan and Chip in the studio, Colin in the field in front of Fear Factor contestants being covered in bugs

Obviously the audience is not happy with this one
Colin: “…as you can see, there’s a lot of negative reaction to what’s happening around me.”

So far there’s not much to this one other than screaming audience members

Chip, on a lady swallowing shellfish: “I’VE HEARD OF CRABS, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS”

They cut to the audience to see people wincing. So a 360 from the Simmons cutaways

Colin: “…it actually reminds me of a date I once had”

Ryan: “…I’m afraid to ask you another question because if I open my mouth I might VOMIT.”

Colin, to Drew, straight-faced: “…I have a feeling it’s something disgusting.”

Colin: “I’m gonna say it’s…worms…fornicating with party hats”

Not a great Newsflash. Ryan sums it up: “best thing was watching the audience during that, they were like ‘AAGH…DAAAAAGHHH…”

Bartender: Chip
Colin – Angry about the size of his feet
Ryan – His zipper doesn’t work
Wayne – In love with Chip

Glad they played this more often in S4.

Drew accidentally refers to Chip as ‘Chimp’ in the intros
Chip’s immediate response:

For Colin, someone yells out ‘HEMORRHOIDS’
Drew, immediately: “NO”

Colin, entering: “Gimme a drink there, CHIMP.”
HA

Colin’s angry feet song is great, as his angry songs are usually really good in this game.
“I’m filled with such anger, believe me, I’m not lyin
My feet are even bigger than the guy you know as Ryan”
[I love the ‘YOU KNOW’ as Ryan bit. Does he have a different name we don’t know about?]
Ryan immediately shakes his head back at the seats

Chip’s lyricism is immediately evident:
“It’s really weird, how this guy moves
They’re barely feet I mean, they’re really more like hooves
I know you’re angry, and so annoyed
But hey, at least you don’t have hemorrhoids.”
Perfect callback

Drew: “…tried to avoid that word being mentioned, but that’s okay…”

Ryan, entering: “Hey, can you smoke in this bar?”
Chip: “Only if you’re on fire!”
THAT’S A MUPPETS JOKE IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE.

Ryan: “My zipper’s broken, I think I need a lock
Lucky right now I have it tucked in my sock.”
Of course. Chip even takes a measure to recover

Chip: “I heard your problem, you sang it in a song
I heard your solution, your socks must be very long”
He stumbles a bit, but gets to his punchline: “Could be worse, you could get circumsized”

Wayne: [locks door]

I know he just did this for Brad, but…he’s still good at this

Chip: “I think *I* need the drink.”

Wayne’s song to Chip is very cute, and well done by him
“In my head, if I could bite you I could take a little nip
Because I’m the chocolate, and your the Chip!”
Of course

Chip: “There’s one thing that I’m saying to you, boy
Right now, Wayne…CHIP’S AHOY!” [darts offstage]

A really good Bartender. I put it slightly below the 3×39 playing, just because I prefer that ‘in love with the bartender’ one to this one, but the Colin and Ryan ones here are great, and Chip’s an excellent bartender as the gig calls for his superior lyricism.

Hoedown: Superman

COLIN GETS TO SIT OUT A HOEDOWN. NOBODY CAN BELIEVE IT, NOT EVEN COLIN. As is custom in occasions where Colin or Ryan sit out a Hoedown, Chip takes their place in the lineup.

Wayne’s punchline is a bad kryptonite pun.

Drew’s is clever, as he talks about how the ladies find Superman irresistible, but “when he makes love to them, he’s faster than a train”

Chip’s is pretty great:
“Oh, Colin does remember all the time he spent
Wishing he were Superman, or at least Clark Kent
He waited all his life, he waited for that day
But just like Superman, his hair was up, up and away!”
Of course, a solid Colin burn, as usual for contemporary Chip hoedowns

Ryan: “With my x-ray vision I can do no wrong
Right now I’m looking at Drew Carey’s thong.”

A good Hoedown, but not GREAT.

Overall: A middle of the road show, but not without a great Bartender and a great Director. The producers were banking on SFX or Newsflash to become a favorite, and neither resonated with me. Hoedown was a good formula breaker, but really only Chip’s verse stood out. Thank the gods for a strong, exemplary Director and a really good round of Bartender, as well as some ace work from Chip Esten all night, or else this one would be completely forgettable.

Show Winner: Colin
Best Performer: Chip killed it tonight. Director, Newsflash, Bartender and Hoedown all belonged to him.
Worst Performer: Ryan had a few too many lulls, honestly.
Best Game: Hollywood Director. A complete guide to playing a successful game of this.
Worst Game: Newsflash relied too much on shock value.

COMING UP NEXT: Another trip to Season 4, with a Kathy show from the Tickler taping. Generally standard game list.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E21, or There’s Something Terribly Wrong Below Deck

Right. The peak’s been hit. Now back to our regularly scheduled Season 5

This episode comes from the same taping as the Halloween episode, a Greg taping that has oodles of great content just waiting to be released. Tonight’s guest star is female bodybuilder Jayne Trcka, who comedy fans will remember from Scary Movie as ‘Miss Mann’. The joke was that she’d taken so much steroids that she’d become more masculine than feminine. Ah, 2000.

Let’s Make a Date: Greg must choose from
Wayne – Fitness guru demonstrating his exercise techniques on various people in his video “Tighten Your Buns in 2 Minutes”
Colin – Psychopathic male flight attendant whose anger management thong tightens whenever he loses his temper
Ryan – Glamorous Russian female spy using older brother bullying techniques to extract secrets from the others

MY THOSE QUIRKS ARE LONG. Even Ryan and Colin are reading for a while

I’m gonna do a tally right now, because SO MANY S5 EPISODES have had a game involving Wayne’s ass. FIVE SHOWS so far have had an ass-related Wayne bit. NOW WE’RE AT SIX. Because this one also involves Wayne’s ass.
It’s a lot like last season’s Weird Newscasters playings all having Wayne go right to Drew. Wayne’s great, but he goes to the same crutches for humor- his butt or screwing with Drew.

Wayne, as his excited, enthusiastic character: “I’M 87 YEARS OLD.”

Colin demonstrates his, goes down with a pain in his ass, and Wayne uses this to help Colin with the bun-tightening routine

Greg: “..I guess miniature golf’s out of the question…”

Ryan enters in an accent
Greg: “Oh, you’re from another land…”
Ryan, smirking: “Good luck guessing which one.”
Ryan would have two tapings in this weekend in September 2001 where he’d have to work through specific accents, knowing he’s not proficient.

Ryan, trying: “…WHEREVER IT WAS…no…”
He knows he can’t get to this accent, for some reason. And he’s trying  to find it.

Ryan gets his quirk right on, interrogating Colin by giving him a noogie.
Colin: “STOP IT” [drops to the floor with the pressure from down below]

Greg, as…himself: “I’m not much of a fitness freak, in fact I love smoking and drinking until I fall over.”

Of course, Wayne pulls several people out of the audience to demonstrate.
Greg: “You  in the plaid shirt, CALL ME”

The culmination of this game is Colin collapsing, yelling “PEANUTS”, Ryan twisting his nipples, and Wayne holding his ass trying to demonstrate the bun-crunch. All three are collaborating on the same gag, and it just mellows into a solidified noise in unison.


I can only think of one other moment where all three are on the same vocal page like this, and that’s a Hollywood Director moment from the CW involving Cabaret. [“If you grab zis vire…”]

Greg guesses Wayne’s easily, then goes “that’s all I’ve got! Thanks, that’s been our show, stick around..”

Greg: “Colin is a flight attendant, but…there’s something terribly wrong below deck.”
I love Greg.
Drew reading what it really is gives Greg opportunity for one of his trademark cackles

Greg: “Ryan is a brutal interrogator”
Drew: “From where!”
Greg: “…That’s a VERY GOOD QUESTION!”

This didn’t make the cut, but Ryan makes a remark of how long the quirks have become, and Greg goes “Remember when it was just ‘a cow’?”

Strong LMAD. All three worked off each other, Greg was funny, and it worked insanely well.

Song Styles: Wayne sings a stadium rock number to Jayne

Thankfully we only get one Guest Star game here, but it’s a good one

Okay, I’ll rephrase this- in addition to steroids, one of the things bodybuilders use to stay jacked is testosterone. So Jayne looks to have taken advantage of some of that T and, uh…looks a little masculine. While being very much a female.
Also, just noticed Greg hiding behind the chair. Man, I wasn’t this distracted when Chyna came out. At least Jayne’s on drugs that aren’t addictive.

Ryan’s also horrified:

Drew: “So Jane here claims to be a bodybuilder…”

Ryan:

Wayne…takes a few measures. He doesn’t know how to start.
The other three in the back start rocking out and trying to help

Wayne does a few lines of solid lyrics. Not his best, but solid. And he goes into his chorus. And about halfway through his chorus, Jane slides a hand along his crotch area, and he starts cracking up. He just doesn’t know WHAT to say to that.
After a cutaway, he gets an idea:




Wayne just…goes all out.

This is our peak:

Wayne just said fuck it to the lyrics and witticism, and just played around with her, because when else would he get the chance?

Wayne, sung: “You’d lose your composure too if this big chick was semi-nude”

Ryan, still wowed, tries throwing water in  his face to wake himself

An alright Song Styles, but I don’t exactly know if this one aged well. Thank god she didn’t do Living Scenery. Ryan woulda had too much fun

Wayne, immediately afterwards:

Ryan: “What time do ya WANT me to be home, honey?”

Drew: “She made you look downright skinny. When you took your jacket off, I was like ‘UNNNGH'”

Scenes from a Hat:

“The first verbal exchange between Adam and Eve”
Ryan: “Where do you wanna go for dinner?”
Colin: “I dunno, where do YOU wanna go for dinner?”

Drew: “Moments where cheerleading is inappropriate”
Greg: “GRANDPA’S DEAD, GIMME A D!”
Greg may have mellowed out in later seasons, but he’s still capable of great moments

“Strange Welcome Greetings on Signs as you Enter Different US States” is a better version of the Oklahoma one from last show:
Wayne: “…come and HANG OUT in Alabama”
[Took me YEARS to get that one]
Ryan: “Welcome to Montana, there’s nobody here”
Greg: “Entering Ohio, watch out for Drew-BUMP”
Ryan: “Welcome to Hawaii, how’d you get here in a car?”
I love that one
Colin, most memorably: “Welcome to Rhode Island…THANKS FOR VISITING RHODE ISLAND.”
HAHAHAHAHA. Colin’s not even from this country and he’s killin it with America jokes
[Also according to the taping report, apparently Wayne pulled a Colin and mistook a California city with a state]

Not a bad SFAH, but mostly that State Signs one boosts the whole of it.

Drew after the ‘shower cam’ scene: “I hated to end that right before Ryan took off his shirt, but I’ve already seen it.”
Ryan: “Well, I’m not built like most of the women around here…but I can hold my own. And I usually do.”
Ryan…is just too damn smart.

Party Quirks: Greg hosts
Wayne – Every photo from the sexy new Whose Line Is It Anyway? calendar
Colin – Group of Jurassic Park raptors setting up a trap and stalking the other guests
Ryan – High school boy who discovers that the camera is a window into the girls showers and wants to get his buddies to look

Wayne’s is just…solid goofiness:

Colin goes right into his world-famous dinosaur impression, which gets recognition applause.
Greg: “Have you met my friend, Colin Mochrie? He thinks he’s COLIN MOCHRIE.”
Wayne: “This February, he does!”

Ryan’s is great because he has this whole mini scene with Greg, but it takes up a lot of the game. Colin and Wayne, with no part in this, start miming playing cards back onstage.
Greg and Ryan keep looking in there. At one point, there’s a brief dinosaur noise from Colin that makes them turn around, but they go right back to it

Greg calls Colin a ‘dinosaur spreading rumors’
Drew, buzzing: “That’s better than the one we have!”

The audience member  Wayne spends ‘March’ with is the same one from LMAD.

Wayne: “It’s an August Hoedown!”

It ended clumsily, but this PQ was alright. Not the best, but alright.

Sportscasters: Ryan and Colin are two competitive female college roommates have to get showered, dressed, and made up before their dates arrive- Drew and Greg commentate

Ah yes, the ever-intermittent Sportscasters

This one takes a bit to get going. The first one I laughed at is Colin shoving the lipstick in Ryan’s mouth

Colin yanks off Ryan’s wig. Ryan tries this with Colin, but…yep. Colin’s baldness actually works to his advantage for once

Not a great Sportscasters, to be honest. Couldn’t really get going.

Overall: An okay show. One game really impressed me, the rest I could take or leave. The Jane game was more worth it for the spectacle than the substance. Everything after that petered off.

Show Winner: Wayne
Best Performer: Ryan nailed two games tonight.
Worst Performer: Greg only played straight-man roles in scene games.
Best Game: Let’s Make a Date. A very grand, complex, built-up LMAD that paid off.
Worst Game: Sportscasters was weak.

COMING UP NEXT: From the same Chip taping as E9 and E14, one more helping of S4-era goodness.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E20, or Aren’t We All Just Rats in a Maze?

This is the other Season 5 show I’ve been looking forward to. Same taping as the Richard Simmons show, same Greg Proops energy. And…while it may start out kind of pedestrian, it eventually just transforms into a mutated free-for-all of a show. Which I’ve adored for years.

Drew: “Let’s get the show going, but before I do I wanna say a hello to our little buckaroo, Ryan”
Ryan:

Ryan: “I’m trying to take some focus off the shoes.”
Greg: “Didn’t you love him in Toy Story?”

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Greg, a goofy white guy trying to act ‘street’, co-anchors, Wayne, Aging female Broadway performer in a big song and dance number whose extensive plastic surgery begins to collapse, does sports while Ryan, a very strict father whose deadbeat sons are in the studio and he’s decided it’s time for them to get real jobs, does weather

I feel like from Greg and Wayne’s reactions, they did some pickups for this one

Colin’s opening joke, “Only Hugh can Prevent Florist Friars”, is a bit too long in the tooth  to really work

Greg: “I wanna give some SHOUTS OUT to my people over in Glendale, California”
Wayne, Glendale-area resident:

Is Wayne just playing Cicely Tyson?
[I know, boo me all you want]

This is a great quirk for Wayne, as he’s great at gradually collapsing, or gradually coming apart, so he’s really good at knowing what parts of himself to slow down

Ryan, spitefully: “I have a JOB, that’s how I make MONEY.”

Ryan has an insanely smart move, and makes his sons the cameramen- ‘You five, look at ya. Listening to your rock-n-roll music all day…[to Drew] THIS ONE’S THE LAZIEST OF ‘EM ALL, BUT AT LEAST HE MAKES MONEY.”

Ryan: “Now take the headphones off. All of ya.”
[…]
Ryan: “Ya want me to get out the stick??”

It just turns into Ryan running  around, trying to wrangle all the cameramen, but none of them are moving from their posts

A pretty good WN. Everybody had something fun to do, and while I wish there was more interplay, it was still enjoyable enough.

Drew: “Thank you, Cowboy Bob.”
Ryan: “Someday, we’re gonna get you out of a suit.”
Drew: “I need to get some giddy up in my git’alongs, is that what you’re trying to say?”

Drew: “You’re wearing a cowboy shirt, what am I supposed to do? And big blue shoes. A cowboy shirt and big blue shoes!”
Ryan, like it’s a country song: “A COWBOY SHIRT ‘N BIG BLUE SHOOOES…”

Scenes from a Hat:

The ‘Oklahoma! versions for other states’ one is just a worse version of a SFAH suggestion we’d get next show about road signs.

Sumo Wrestlers in Other Professions:
Colin, after squatting: “…anyone else want their clams…shucked?”
HAHAHAHA. It’s so out there that he and Drew lose it

“Anecdotes Talks would tell if they appeared on talk shows” is the big one:
Greg: “So get this, Jay. We can’t come apart. So the neighbor comes out with a hose…”
THAT made air????
Greg, continuing: “Oh, this bitch was in heat!”
Ryan, with a really wholesome one: “…So, I’m chasing what I think is another dog’s tail…”
I forget that Ryan’s a dog person, and he can do very cute dog material if he wants.

Ryan, with Colin: “Jerry, I’m here to tell my husband I’m in love with a cat.”
Colin, not entirely following: “…me-OW.”
[There’s some laughter here from all 4]

Colin: “So, as I’m licking, I hiccup, and my testicles become lodged in my throat. Well…I COULDN’T BREATHE. I still have a bit lodged there now.”
[The audience goes WILD at this]

Light SFAH, but not exactly BAD.

The ‘special yipee-yi-oh’ is reprised from 5×17

Film Dub: One day in the doctor’s lab

Drew: “This is for Greg, Colin and Cowboy Bob.”

Greg’s specimen:

Greg: “Oh look, it’s the traffic outside of Los Angeles…”

Lots of good ‘take it as it is’ lines, like Greg emitting an ‘hmmmmm’, and ending on that.
Ryan: “You know, many years ago when  I worked in this lab, I…”
Ryan’s character turns away
Ryan: “well, more on that later”

I also love Ryan handing multiple vials to Colin’s character and making sure they don’t get confused, and also just the amount of vials the guy gives up.
Colin, saying his first line: “There’s no good parts for Latinos!”

For another Colin character, the editors placed in a ‘MEOW’ from Hats, to thread this together. It’s a very obvious edit

Ryan: “This is my work of art, this is a stone I passed last week.”

Ryan: “It was this big when it first came out…”

Ryan: “I clenched myself, LIKE THIS, and it came out!”
Just playing into Ryan’s hand

A brief but amusing Film Dub, similar to the UK ones. I just wish it’d gone on longer.

Party Quirks: Greg hosts
Wayne: Having a series of stormy love affairs from beginning to end with each person at the party
Colin: Serious scientist testing how much annoyance people can stand before cracking
Ryan: Rat traveling through a maze to reach the cameras where he’s given either cheese or an electric shock

Greg: “Ah, a Richard Simmons video party! OH MY GOD WHAT’S HE DOING TO COLIN?”
[that’s a fun postscript to 5×17]

Wayne does a great job of doing an entire relationship in 15 seconds, even with escalating tensions

Something about Colin’s is really funny, mostly how he does these annoying things and is so matter-of-fact about it. Like a real psychologist

Ryan’s is a fun one, cause he’s just doing rat physicality in all these different directions.
Ryan, eventually:

Then, Ryan tries another camera and gets shocked. I love his little slack expression as he bobs around, recirculating.

Greg’s first guest for Ryan, “he’s a drunk sea otter”, gets a laugh out of him.

Greg and Colin: “WOULD YOU STOP IMITATING ME-”
Colin: [checks watch]
Yeah, he’s so droll about it. I love that.
Ryan, from across the stage: “BZZZZT”

Greg’s still trying to guess Ryan, and Ryan’s trying to stress the right animal

Greg: “…he’s a FISH…”
Ryan:

Greg, postgame: “WAS he an anthropologist?”
Drew: “No, he was just a rat in a maze-”
Greg: “NO, NO…Colin!”
Colin: “Aren’t we all just rats in a maze?”

Drew, to Ryan again: “You know I hardly get to say this to anybody, but chaps would really make that outfit”

A surprisingly good PQ. I’d always forgotten about this one, but Greg working with Colin AND Ryan at once was pretty fun. And Greg, as usual, was a fun host.

Hats: Dating Service Videos

The YT cut of this game always included Drew’s “I hate to do this, but we’re gonna move on”, which must have come after a Simmons game

Wayne, full Don King: “ME AND YOU! ON A DATE! JANUARY 12TH! AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!”

Greg starts cracking up, and barely gets the joke out.
Greg, giving up: “…I have a giant fish head on! I’m 42 fucking years old.”

Colin: “I will churn thy butter”
[Fun fact: when my girlfriend met Colin, she personally thanked him for this line. Out of everything.]

Colin: “Lemme help ya hit those high notes.”
Then, as the audience laughs at this, he emits the show’s second official “MEOW”

Wayne: “Hi, I’m Michael Jackson.”

Really strong Hats, too. We’re going into the house-breaker and every game has been good. Not all exemplary, but good.

Irish Drinking Song: Yelled Out the Wrong Name in Bed

Ah, yes. Here we are.

So, let’s examine this trainwreck
Wayne’s first line: “One night I was getting freaky.”
[THAT IS HOW YOU START AN IDS]
Drew…trying to have Ryan rhyme with ‘name’: “With my…er…girl Elaine.”
Ryan…now has to decipher that because it came so late, and it’s harder than it needs to be.
Colin, shaking his head: “Boy, we had some fun.”
AND COLIN’S EYEING RYAN, KNOWING HE HAS TO WORK WITH THAT

Ryan now decides to make fun of Drew: “AND THEN UURGHH-AHH-EHH-AGHHH”


[this ALONE cracked me up to high hell as a kid]

So the reactions to THAT:




Colin, as Wayne and Drew aren’t going: “MEOW.”

So…normally, you start again, do another one, throw that out. Laura on the other hand decides to keep going, and after a break, the producers instruct them to go to the fourth verse. This is going to air, in this form. And they just have to finish it.
Ryan is holding his own, just glaring down Drew, as this whole thing’s his fault. Drew and Wayne are still laughing.

Ryan, spiteful: “I lost track of the STORY.”
Wayne, still recovering: “I don’t know what has happened.”
Drew, trying: “…He wrote me a letter.”
Colin: “My underwear is snappin.”
EVEN THAT’s a funny line.
Ryan, still trying to add plot, ANYTHING: “I think there was a girl involved”
Wayne, with an easy rhyme to wrap this up: “That’s what I’m thinkin'”
Drew, still kinda gone: “I don’t know what to say.”
Now, in a perfect world, Colin finishes the song with ‘we’ve all been out drinkin’ or something, and it doesn’t air, and they do another one. But…this is not a perfect world, so Colin looks right at the camera, knowing exactly what’s gonna happen, and goes.
“….MEEEEEEEOW.”

Wayne…drops to the floor. For the first time since WN. Ryan’s gone. Drew’s standing up, but gone. And Colin…finishes the song solo. As he should.

So…that song is a mess, a botched failure of an IDS game that bombed because Drew flubbed a line. And in all honesty, this game never should have aired. The only reason it did air, is because Colin yelled ‘MEOW’ in that punchline and tied it back to SFAH and Hats. The producers had context for it, and how MEOW had become a Pavlovian cue to laugh, so they took the remains of this IDS and aired it anyway, knowing it’d be funny in itself to see this panel break down like this. As it stands, it’s an oddity in itself, a rare moment of the Whose Line cast failing to even TRY to keep it together, and Colin still getting a lawful laugh out of it. It’s only partially good improv, but it’s definitely one of the funniest things that they let onto a show.

Overall:  A relatively solid show with one huge moment at the end. Other than that, there are GOOD games here, like Weird Newscasters, Party Quirks and Hats, but nothing as classic as that IDS. The Ryan’s shirt runner works, the Meow runner works, and it just works in general to see this many scene games in a taping based around a gay man pretending to give Colin a blowjob, but deep down, nothing in this episode can compare to Irish Drinking Song. As much as I enjoy this one, I know full well it’s not pristine, and I don’t allow that to affect my opinion of it.

Show Winner: Greg
Best Performer: I had to separate this very finely, but Colin takes it over Ryan. With that IDS save, how can I not?
Worst Performer: Wayne had a few misfires tonight.
Best Game: Irish Drinking Song.
Worst Game: Film Dub was lightest.

COMING UP NEXT: Another S5 Greg taping, from the Halloween taping. The guest star is a supporting cast member from Scary Movie.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E19, or Two of Us Need Look No More

Ah, never thought I’d use my ‘David Hasselhoff’ tag from covering the Guest Host series’ of Never Mind the Buzzcocks again.

We return now to the HAAAEEEEHH-tastic Kathy Griffin taping, which we’ve already seen 2 relatively good shows from. Now comes the second of two Guest Stars from that taping, and a relatively big get at that, TV icon David Hasselhoff. The Hoff was 3 years away from revitalizing his celebrity image with a tongue-in-cheek cameo in the Spongebob Squarepants movie [oh you better believe I’m bringing that up], and only 4 years from becoming a judge on America’s got Talent. You can argue that Whose Line helped, but the Hoff episode isn’t quite as well-remembered as the Simmons one.

Newsflash: Ryan and Kathy in the studio, Colin in the field in front of RATS

We start with a ‘let’s go onto’ from Drew, proving that there was no openers left for this show.

Ryan, starting with Kathy: “Was she friendly?”
Kathy: “She was alright, but…Miss America can be kind of whiny sometimes-”
DIRECT CALLBACK TO THE EVENTS OF E2

Also, PROPS TO KATHY FOR KNOWING HER CUE TO THROW TO COLIN AFTER RYAN INTERRUPTS THIS STORY. Most people, like Kathy Greenwood, need Ryan to keep going. But Kathy Griffin gets it. She did her homework

I love Ryan trying to get a hint out, but being interrupted by shrieking audience members every time

Colin: “It all started with some bad soup!”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER ONE

Colin: “AND THEN THIS, THIS…AND THIS.”
On the cut to a mouse and its young, we get a FRANTIC HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER TWO

Ryan, with a very obscure reference: “Frankly, the two of us NEED LOOK NO MORE.”
[HAHAHAHAHAHA]

Colin: “I am totally protected, and the refried beans helped”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER THREE.

Ryan: “Colin, HOW MANY OF THEM ARE THERE.”
Colin: “There must be upwards of TWENTY.”

I do love Ryan’s amazed, cracking disgust at the amount of nice, just random “ohhhh”s peppered in

Kathy, who’s been doing alright so far, tries to give a hint with “you used to work as a police informant”, as in ‘you dirty rat’, but Colin does not get it at all, and just looks at her, very confused.

Ryan: “Now Colin, after this you’re off to cover the opening of Cats?”
[HOW DID THIS LINE AGE WELL???]

I love that once Colin gets it and comes back to stage, he peers into the monitor, sees it, and gives a perturbed expression before heading back

Ryan: “He didn’t catch onto my ‘need look no more’ clue…”
Colin: “…isn’t that weird…”
Colin and Ryan do go into the next verse, just like that.
Ryan: “I didn’t wanna just go ‘Hey, watch out for the RATS.”

A surprisingly strong Newsflash. Good clues, good replies, lots going on, Kathy only made one mistake. Good stuff.

Song Styles: Wayne sings a Gospel song to David Hasselhoff

[what, they wouldn’t let him do a German drinking song? Too on the nose?]

David’s nice enough to run into the audience and shake hands and slap fives.

Also, David seems SO HAPPY to see everyone, shakes Drew’s hand, Wayne’s hand, knows the other three’s names. He’s pretty much the mayor of LA.

Drew instructs David to do “pretty much all you ever did on Baywatch: relax, have a seat”
Drew…there’s a very famous show David did involving a TALKING CAR that would have been a MUCH BETTER PUNCHLINE HERE.

I find it funny that Wayne does gospel here, and then the FOLLOWING NIGHT, the Jerry Springer taping, he does another gospel song. They couldn’t have switched things up?

Wayne: “and it doth say…he who WEARS…the thong-th-thong-thong?”
Oh yeah, this was 2001, Sisqo was still ‘in’.
Wayne: “…gets SAND where it don’t belong-long-long”
[Wayne even cracks a little at this]

I love how when Wayne mentions Knight Rider, David even talks into his watch. Like, he knows exactly who he is, which I love

Wayne has another crack after he mentions “Pamela Lee just bouncing in slow-motion”

Wayne even gives Hoff his own mic, and Hoff does some pumping up/backup for Wayne in a refrain, which is nice.

Wayne, in his fast-paced ender “I sold 50 million records in Germany, but 20 over here- NAH, I’M JUST KIDDIN”
David has a BIG laugh at that line

A very fun number, and David was really into it, but compared to the Springer number it’s a lot more baseline and obvious lyrics-wise. I feel like these ‘song to a special guest’ ones would be better once Wayne would ask for a detail to work off from said special guest, which would come on the CW version.

As David leaves, he’s doing his ‘running in slow-mo’ and ‘talking to his watch’ motions, milking it for applause. Is David just the American version of John Barrowman, because that’s the kind of self-referential I think he is.

Two-Line Vocabulary: Colin is Indiana Jones and Ryan and Kathy are his two sidekicks. They’re looking for the Holy Grail in an ancient temple full of dangerous traps
Ryan’s lines: “What does that do?” and “I want in”
Kathy’s lines: “Are you kidding” and “I love this!”

Colin: “We’re gonna go in there, and we’re gonna go get the Idol of Makatuti”
Ryan: “…I want out”
Perfectly timed

Colin: “Remember what happened in Persia?”
Kathy: “I LOVE THIS”
Colin: “No you didn’t, remember, you got bitten by 3 snakes?”
Kathy: “Are you kidding?”

Kathy, Colin and Ryan approach the cave
Ryan, whispered: “I want out”
Ryan’s really damn good at finding different ways to drive home a line on a repetition.

At one point, Colin tries to grab Ryan’s nose, which leads to a pained reaction from Ryan

And then, as Colin talks to Kathy again, you see Ryan slowly inching downstage, eventually yelling  “I WANT OUT” from near the seats. Something about that line is just WORKING tonight
Colin eventually has to get him back in at gunpoint, which is a fun way of accelerating the stakes

Colin: “I’m using my whip”
Ryan: “What does that do?”
Colin, rolling his eyes: “…THIS!” [WHAP]
Ryan: “AIIIIGH”

Kathy, grabbing Colin’s arm: “uhhh…you kidding?”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER FOUR

Kathy, as Colin’s trying to exposit, grabs his ass: “I LOVE THIS.”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER FIVE
Man, Kathy’s great at this game

Colin, with the right amount of frustration: “we’re WORKING.”
Ryan, also grabbing Colin’s ass: “WHAT DOES THAT DO?”

A pretty strong Two-Line. Again, Kathy’s been acing games that I’d recalled her stalling in. This, World’s Worst, Newsflash. How did I forget how good Kathy Griffin was at Whose Line?

[Figures, this is her last game of the night]

Drew: “Thousand points to everybody who grabbed Colin’s ass”
Ryan and Kathy politely raise their hands

Dubbing: Colin is a beautiful woman who’s gone swimming and is in trouble, hunky lifeguard David Hasselhoff, Wayne’s voice, comes to her rescue, just then, Colin’s boyfriend Ryan arrives, determined to show that he is the hunkiest and fittest lifeguard on the beach

And now, David Hasselhoff has to do improv. With rules. Here, my friends, is where he has trouble.

Drew: “[Wayne] won’t make you look like an idiot or anything”
Wayne: “I PROMISE.”

Ryan, after the scene description: “…just as long as I’m a guy, man…”

Wayne, making fun of David just walking right up to Colin: “…look how I stand on the water!”

Wayne: “You are one of the most exquisitely honed woman I’ve ever seen in my life”
Colin: “You gotta get out more..”

I love Colin casually putting his clothes on after Ryan enters. This is usually Ryan’s move, so it’s a nice touch

Wayne: “I can’t lie- I never lie, I’m a lifeguard. I’ve sworn to tell the truth and wear this thong.”

Ryan, of course, goes back to his old standby: “I’m wearing a thong, too, but…two thongs don’t make a right!”
This does David in a little

As Wayne explains what happened, David gestures the whole thing.
Wayne: “…and I’m quite proficient at MIME, LOOK!”
Colin: “He’s great, and he has a talking car!”

Wayne: “Hector doesn’t deserve the  love of a woman so beautiful”
Colin, with a great contrast: “No, he doesn’t Kill ‘im.”
Wayne: “Very well. Let me show you the-”
Ryan: [cocks gun]

Wayne: “Look at this weapon I have in MY hands:”
David:

Ryan: [breaks]
Colin: [claps]
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Ryan, to David: “It’s like ‘rock paper scissors!’
COCK paper scissors, if you will

Really strong Dubbing. Lots of little things all 4 people did. Apparently David had moments that were cut where he forgot to not speak, but he held his own, and Wayne was great at throwing his lack of improv logic at him.

Drew: “And -1000 points for Ryan for ‘two thongs don’t make a right’. I thought we were above that kind of thing here.”
Ryan: “…two of us need look no more.”
HA. Excellent callback. Hell, this line’s probably the reason we have Newsflash as an opener, rather than in Two-Line’s place.

Three-Headed Broadway Star: Wayne, Ryan and Hoff sing ‘I Can’t Live Without Your Mother’ to Venus

Annnnd here we go.

This show doesn’t have a traditional opener, OR a traditional closer. Because Newsflash had to be  here, 3HBS had to be here, and Two-Line fit better than another opener

David: “Least I get to talk this time”
A MONKEY’S PAW FINGER CURLS OMINOUSLY

I love Ryan’s move of coming around David and being the middle after it’s revealed that David isn’t tall enough and Ryan being in the middle is a better shot

I don’t think David was listening when Drew mentions “one word at a time”. I think he’s still thinking about the concept

Wayne: “Your”
Ryan: “Mother”
David: “IS SO”

This is what we’re in for.

“When your mother is around me, I always get
Wayne: “…BUGGED.”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER SIX.

Ryan: “Mothers”
David: “…OF INVENTION”

Ryan’s gonna react EVERY TIME, isn’t he?

Ryan: “If”
David: “YOU COULD SEE”

now WAYNE has the best reaction. He’s just…caught very off guard

They eventually get this back on track, and go back to single lyrics, and composure, though David does one more ‘THE BOYS’

They STILL CAN’T TAKE IT

After this, they get into a groove where it’s all coming together, like David emulating Wayne’s ‘eeee-nough’ a few words after he says it, and them keeping the same tempo and scheme to it.

Wayne: “with”
Ryan: “your”
David: “…tongue.”

Poor Wayne

The game ends, and David says something to Ryan: “That’s an initiation for me…” And that’s honestly the best attitude to have about it. It’s probably David’s first time doing improv, especially a game like this, and he had to fail for a bit before becoming great and ending with a cool flourish or two. Let’s compare this to another ‘first 3HBS’- 2×10, the ‘You’ve got Sole’ playing where Drew makes one mistake and can’t recompose himself. That one is so hard to find funny because you feel bad for Drew. He NEVER recovers. And he spends the whole time cracking and making mistakes. Here, David makes some mistakes, stumbles a bit…and keeps going, gets the hang of the game, and finishes STRONG, unified with the other 2. That makes this game a ton more fun to watch, and a ton more satisfying. David lands on his feet, which is more than I can say for Drew in his first time doing this.

So yeah. This one’s better than You’ve Got Sole. A much better song, with much funnier slip-ups, and a much more endearing final outcome.

Right as David says goodbye to the audience, you can hear Ryan, whose mic is still on, go, to Colin, “annnnd TAKE ME ON A.” So EVEN HE MADE THE YOU’VE GOT SOLE CONNECTION. Even he knew what this felt like.

And of course, there’s some great postscript back at the seats:
Ryan, to Drew: “Remember your first time?”
Drew, mistakenly: “ANNND When I think about yooou-”
[SAME ENERGY]
Ryan, correctly: “AND TAKE ME ON A.”

Drew: “[David’s] gonna hop in his talking car and get the hell out of here]
Ryan: “He’ll be singing with his car on the way home: ‘I!’ ‘DRIVE!’ ‘YOU!’ ‘AND!'”
THAT cracks me up. David playing 3HBS with Kitt. That visual just kills me.

Overall: A very solid show. Nothing short of great here. And even with an usual structure [No opener or closing Drew game, no winner, Newsflash starting off], everything here tonight felt really good and cohesive. Some guest star shows feel really cobbled together, but this one felt right, though a lot of that involved making sure Newsflash started to set up the end of Dubbing. Wayne and Kathy had great nights, despite Kathy not appearing in many games late.

The Hoff did not disappoint, and was fun and enthusiastic in all his games. He knew he wasn’t great at improv, but he didn’t let that stop him from having a good time, AND the panel from delivering a good show. Dubbing and Three-Headed were stronger BECAUSE of the effort he put in, and how fun he could be off the cuff. He also definitely got the concept of working WITH people, as his collaboration in all three games made them look even better. There’s a reason why he’d stay friendly with Colin and Wayne when it came time to film that inferior Fred Willard show I need not mention.

Show Winner: N/A
Best Performer: Wayne Brady, carrying all three guest games.
Worst Performer: Ryan honestly had the least to do, and broke most often.
Best Game: Three-Headed. A classic for a reason, and the Hoff learned as it went on.
Worst Game: Song Styles? Maybe it’s because we just had the Springer one, but it felt very inferior in comparison.
Final HAAAAEHH Count: Six. Same as 5×19
Guest Star Rating: 9/10. He made mistakes, but David Hasselhoff was up for anything, was having a great time, and boosted Dubbing and Song Styles just by his zeal for it. And having his vocal flourishes in 3HBS definitely helped as well.

COMING UP NEXT: My favorite episode growing up. A game from this one made me laugh harder than I’d ever laughed to this point. And it comes from the same taping as the Richard Simmons show. Yeah, THIS ONE.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E18, or Damn Those Stags!

Right. We’re over the Richard Simmons hump. Now for more fun with Wayne Brady’s ass. Which must be the theme of Season 5.

This comes from the Brad taping that gave us 4×15, the Salute to American TV episode. While they played TV-related games all night, there was enough that it could amount to some normal shows down the line, and this is what we have tonight.

Press Conference: Brad, Wayne and Colin interview Colin, who’s Batman who is coming out of the closet

We haven’t seen this game since mid-S4, and now we’re gonna see it a bit more often, thankfully

Wayne sneezes right before the game starts, which is a very fun moment.

Ryan: “How did you keep this hidden for so long?”
Colin: “Well, extra-wide pants.”

There’s a funny opening runner about Colin getting people’s names wrong. First, Colin calls Ryan ‘Frank’ as he’s introduced himself as his usual Jim Phillips. Brad introduces himself as ‘Frank Phillips, Jim Phillips News?”
Colin: “Yes, Sam?”

Wayne: “Do you have an affinity for the rubber and the cowl?”
Colin: “Well I think that’s a given.”

Ryan: “How’s the partner feel about this?”
[That alone is a genius line, because it works in two meanings with this]
Colin: “Well, of course he’s a little worried, because he depends on me for a lot of the income.”
The audience sees the innuendo and beats Colin to trying to make it clean
Colin: “…I’m not sure, but I may want to rephrase that later.”
Brad: “You might want to rephrase that NOW…”

Ryan, cleverly: “Are you gonna rub it in the faces of your  critics, say, by going ‘NANANANANANA'”
HA

Brad: “I must say, I MARVEL at everything that you have been doing to this point.”
Brad…that’s the wrong comic book company, bud…

Wayne: “Will you still continue to slide up and down the pole”
PFFFFFFF. Okay, I forgot about that one, and it caught me off guard
Colin: “Well…not as much, because I have bruised my dynamic duo.”
HAAAAAA

Colin guesses it spot on. Of course.

Really good Press Conference. Colin had great answers, great back-and-forth, and this was a really inspired, fun setup for him

Drew does specify to Brad that it’s DC comics, not Marvel.
Colin, ever the comic book nerd: “that’s what confused me…”

Infomercial: Facelift

Ryan, keeping track of his watch: “…3…2…1…HEY IT’S 3 O CLOCK…”

Colin: “Hey…do you look like you’ve been hit by a bus 3 times?”
Ryan:

Colin, as is tradition during these tapings: “…you started it..”

Colin, of course getting Ryan back: “Are you tired of paying doctors to have a face that could end up like THIS?” [motioning to Ryan]

Colin, with  a whisk: “You may not realize this, but the fact is attached to the nipples.”
Oh, thank god for context…

Ryan, implementing this:

The prop gags here are really working, with this way of getting rid of the double chin:
And then Colin reaches in and gets some of his hair back. Ha

Colin: “If it doesn’t work, pretend you’re an elephant…”
[Ryan…finally loses it here. I love how Colin can still surprise him]

Colin: “Hey, Ryan, what amazing gizmo is that?”
Ryan: [freezes for 5 seconds]

Of course, Ryan accidentally shoots the top part into the audience. Which ruins his metaphor, and actually enhances the joke

Colin: “Anyway, that’s another product launch”
HAAAAAA

I love how Colin winces once Ryan tries using a ‘head measuring device’ on him
Colin: “and also, it can remove those pesky eyes!”

Ryan: “42 INCHES. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT MELON.”
Colin: “If we had another one, we could measure your nose!”
Ryan: [sinks]
Audience: BOOS
Ryan: “I CAN HEAR YOU BOOING AT HOME.”

Colin pulls out  a slimelike gel
Ryan: “Let’s see how it works, Col [then, quickly], let’s see how it works ON YOUR FACE”
The old ‘screw the other guy  over’

Drew: “Were you scared when those wires came at your eyes?”
Colin: “YES.”

Colin: “You notice all the melon jokes, the bald jokes. I make one nose joke- OHHHHHHH.”
Again, back to the old theory- it’s funnier when Colin gets hurt

A really good Infomercial, with lots of great prop uses, and great Colin abuse

All in One Voice: Brad and Ryan are Kermit, Wayne and Colin are Miss Piggy, singing ‘The First Time We Kissed’

A NEW GAME. One that I don’t particularly love.

I do love the high-pitched harmonizing Colin and Wayne do before the song

Ryan and Brad doing a Kermit impression in unison is pretty funny, though

Ryan and Brad: “I LOVE…THE TASTE OF PORK.”
Oh, god

Brad cracks up in the middle of “As I massage your cloven hooves”, and who can blame him

Light, but relatively good. Again, there’s not much you can do with this game, but this was alright.

Change Letter: One night in the ER, Brad is the attending physician and Colin is the nurse, Ryan and Wayne are patients who come in
Can’t Say B, Gotta Say F

HERE we go.

Colin’s having some trouble early on

Brad: “Fetty?”
Colin: “…yeah Brank?”
[Brad gives him a look. He’s…still having some trouble]

Ryan, entering: “I just had a great fowel movement.”
HA

Brad: “Are ya feelin’ fetter?”
Ryan, somehow finding a way around this: “I’m…feeling…fine.”

Brad: “It’s an X-Ray of your Falls.”
HA

Wayne: “My flood…I’m fleedin'”
Colin, going for it: “GET A FLUGENGLAGGENFLUGENFLEEGER.”
PFFFFFF

Brad, trying to sway Wayne’s hand: “Were you out hunting…male deer?”
HAAAAAA
Colin: “Damn those stags!”
Wayne: “…a great fig…”
Colin: “…yeah”
They know…

Brad: “You’ve got a fruise on your fladder?”
Wayne: “my FLADDER?”
Brad: “…your fladder is fruised.”
Brad’s so good at this one

Ryan: “SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH HIS FUTT.”
JUST THAT ALONE IS FUNNY.
Brad: “LOOK AT HIS FIG FUTT.”
Wayne, going with it: “…I’ve…got a fig ol’ futt, oh yeeahh…”

One of the better Change Letter scenes they did over here. The futt stuff was too damn good

Wayne: “I didn’t say it!”
Drew: “What?”
Wayne: “…buck.”
[In the taping reports, it kept going. Apparently Brad and Colin went back up after this, and continued
Brad: “I’ll give you a fuck for a flowjob”
Colin: [shrugs]
Ryan, back at the seats: “Either way, it’s still a great deal!”]

Scenes from a Hat:

Drew: “World’s Worst News Anchor”
Colin:

pfffff
Wayne has to turn him around

Brad: “This just in: Wayne’s got a fig ol’ futt”

Drew: “What our cameramen are thinking right now”
Wayne: “…he really DOES have a big butt!”
[I love how they actually include shots of the cameramen reacting]
Colin:

Drew: “Baby Drew’s first words”
Colin: “…COLIN’S BALD.”
[I love this one so much]
Ryan: “…PIZZA”

Drew: “Things you might say about your computer, but not your girlfriend”
Ryan: “Ah, it’s gone down again”
Colin: “…come on, let go of my floppy!”
HAHAHAHA

A light SFAH, but still pretty alright

If You Know What I Mean: Brad, Ryan and Colin are three soldiers in the barracks

They did Hoedown, World’s Worst and Quick Change. Why don’t we have a Drew game to end on?

Brad, as Drew intros the game, mimes lifting weights. Perhaps remembering one of the last times he played this one. That cheeky bastard

This one starts right when Ryan enters, which is odd. I miss the ‘Colin makes one that doesn’t work and squirms alone’ one.
Ryan: “Sorry I’m late, I had to drop an otter if you know what I mean”
Colin: “Yeah, I was just cleaning out my foxhole myself, if you know what I mean”
HE DID A GOOD ONE

Colin, expositing: “…so I hear there’s a big mission.”
He doesn’t have a euphemism and wants to keep the scene going, so he  shrugs

Brad: “We’re gonna be in close quarters if you know what I mean”
Colin: […] “…I’m really gonna be racking up the dry cleaning bills if you know what I mean”
THERE IT IS. THERE’S THE PISS-POOR ONE COLIN’S KNOWN FOR IN THIS GAME

Colin: “I’ll…have a happy AWOL experience if you know what I mean”
He’s shaking his head. He had NOTHING. Ryan’s shaking his head too

Ryan: “I’m just looking for a few good men, if you know what I mean”
Colin: “…when I was in the Navy, I was surrounded by seamen if you know what I mean”
awwww
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

An alright playing of this. As always, Colin weighed it down.

Overall: Bubbles above ‘okay’ levels in a few points, but sucked under a few more. On one hand, Press Conference, Infomercial and Change Letter are all great. On the other, All in  One Voice and If You Know What I Mean left a lot to be desired. Knowing what’s left in this taping, you could have added stuff in and made for a real anchor like Party Quirks, Weird Newscasters or Let’s Make a Date, OR gotten a Drew game like World’s Worst or Quick Change, but…this is what they wanted.

Show Winners: Brad and Wayne
Best Performer: Colin. Not even IYKWIM could stop him in this one. Just felt the strongest all night.
Worst Performer: Wayne, despite having said fig ol futt, was mostly playing defense tonight.
Best Game: Press Conference. I’d have gone with Infomercial, but Press Conference doesn’t lag as much.
Worst Game: All in One Voice, which I can take or leave whenever they do it.

COMING UP NEXT: Another guest star show, and another Kathy Griffin show, so expect to hear a lot of ‘HAAAAEEEEHHH’ from the audience. In terms of the guest star…he’s gonna have a wild time with this one.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E17, or This One Wants More Coins

In doing this Watchdown over the past 3 years, I’ve learned to look forward to certain milestones in Whose Line history.
When I started the UK version, I looked forward to getting to the Neon Love Chicken episode in Season 6.
When I started the US version, I balanced out when I’d get to the Melissa show, the Captain Hair show, the Robin Williams show and the Howard show.

And now…we are here. 5×17. The one that even people who don’t know a goddamned thing about Whose Line know about. The Richard Simmons episode.

The entire internet has united behind the fact that this is the funniest moment in the show’s history. When I started going on YouTube to find clips from this series, back in 2006, this was one of the few clips that was already there, waiting. Hell, if it weren’t for the public outcry for WL clips after the Richard Simmons one went huge, 12Medbe may never have started posting clips on a weekly basis, and the fanbase for the show may have never been cemented.

[I know I keep bringing up 12Medbe a lot, but I can’t quite root the success of the ABC family era of the show back to bigfishpotatoe or TadekDDZ, can I?]

So, I’m gonna be looking at this episode, this Greg episode from the 504 taping that we already got 5×10 from, that the fans have dubbed the funniest one in the show’s history, and I’m gonna try and figure out why. I like this episode a lot, but I never found it as funny as everyone else did. So I’m gonna really dive in and think about what here is so amazing.

Multiple Personalities: Greg, Ryan and Wayne are on a safari in the deepest African jungle when they realize their guides have deserted them and they are lost
Fly-swatter – Richard Simmons
Machete – Elvis
Binoculars – Scooby-Doo

One of the things I love about this show is how they set up the guest star with the games before it. This and Newsflash foreshadow things a bit.

Also, interesting that once again they pick Wayne to play this over Colin. Woulda loved to see Colin’s Simmons impression

Greg, as Simmons, immediately rushes to Drew, who’s one of the ‘natives’, and starts doing his schtick: “I can help you. Go through my plan, each day take one of these, one blue card, one PINK CARD, ALL RIGHT?”

Greg, finally to Drew: “You need to get up from behind that desk, mister!”

Wayne’s Elvis is INSANELY strong, going into a Heartbreak-Hotel-esque song about going ‘that wayyyyy’

Ryan, finally, and immortally: “RUH-OH.”
We were all waiting.

Wayne, as Richard: “Oh my god, there’s…RIGHT’AS ON THE RUH-ROH…”
Just trying to interpret Ryan

I love that when Ryan passes Wayne the binoculars, he tries to do it without getting the Simmons flyswatter, and grits his teeth, NOT WANTING to do that impression

I also love Greg agreeing with Wayne AS SCOOBY. Like a Scooby-fied ‘that’s what I was trying to say’.

Wayne grabs the flyswatter from Ryan, and for a second, does Simmons AND Elvis, and does great. He passes Ryan the machete, so it’s not as long as it could be. Greg, thinking well, gives Wayne the binoculars, and he does a ROUSING  ‘Scooby Doo as Richard Simmons’ routine, doing army crawls on the ground as Scooby. It’s hysterical

A pretty good Multiple Personalities. Not exactly the height of the game, like we’ve gotten recently, but all 3 had fun, and Wayne was a tour de force.

Drew gives a “special YIPEE-YI-OH for Ryan Stiles”
Ryan: “I never tire of it.”
This makes a lot more sense in the context of 5×20

Newsflash: Greg and Ryan in the studio, Colin in the field in front of clips of Richard Simmons

Greg and Ryan’s intro is one of my favorites in the game’s history:
Greg: “So she’s left! I woke up this morning, and the place is…just empty.”
Ryan: “She’s over at my place.”
Greg: “What d’you mean she’s over at your place.”
Ryan: “Give her a call, she’s just staying for a couple-”

I wish the rest of the times they try this sort of opening were as good as this one

Just from the opening shot:

That’s just great

My theory is that RIGHT HERE:

RIGHT HERE…Ryan realizes who the guest star might be for this episode.

Also, let it be known that THIS is the first phallic Richard Simmons gag of the show:

Greg: “This has been described as one of the most terrifying sights any human can imagine”
AND HE’S HERE TONIGHT!!!

Colin, motioning to Richard: “It started off quite small, and then it grew to THIS.”

Right after a shot of Richard’s vibrating chest
Colin: “I’m sorry, sometimes I just have to STOP AND LOOK.”

Colin gets it right, thank god.

Not a bad Newsflash, though like the Springer one, the clips themselves did a lot of the work

Song Styles: Wayne sings a disco song to Richard Simmons, backed up reluctantly by Ryan, Colin and Greg

And now…we go down the rabbit hole with Richard Simmons

I love Wayne’s surprised arm movements once he finds out who’s here. Like he’s kind of frightened.

Richard is…exactly what you’d expect. He rushes in, getting the audience to stand and applaud, getting the whole place to go crazy. And, of course, he gives Wayne a big hug. HE EVEN HUGS THE OTHER 3, which Greg gets a kick out of.

Literally, the whole panel’s laughing after Richard’s entrance. Richard is EXACTLY what they thought he’d be, and they can’t believe it

Richard, to Wayne: “You have the most beautiful teeth!”
And he’s as straight as you’d think, as well

Drew: “I  want my  clothes back after the show”
Richard: “I have a tank-top for ALL OF YOU, TONIGHT”

aw, man

Greg, as Drew intros the game, is HOWLING laughing. Haven’t heard him this giggly in a while

Wayne, right before he starts, to Richard leaning on his shoulder: “MA, CAN I KEEP HIM?”

Richard: [gets the entire audience clapping]
Greg:

He cannot believe this

Then, Richard goes to Ryan, and Colin and Greg but mostly Ryan, and motions for him to come up. Ryan, of course, would rather not.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Ryan, as this is not his comfort zone, stays to the background, DJing

Richard is SO into this number,  dancing around and hyping Wayne up as he sings to him. Richard may not know a lot about improv, but he knows one of the golden rules- MAKE YOUR SCENE PARTNER LOOK GOOD. And not only is HE making Wayne look good, but he’s got the entire audience AND the other 3 on his side, dancing and clapping. He’s making sure Wayne can’t fail even if he tries. And that’s admirable as hell.

Richard does a dance move that has Greg double over in mid dance move

Also, middle of this, Colin glances at Drew:

Colin’s just amused as hell

Wayne: “When I say P-H-A-T, damn, he’s so phat”
Very careful there

Wayne, in the middle of another dance move, in song, “WHAT THE HELL YA DOING, RICHARD?”
[I always laugh at that. It goes from ‘look at him go’ to ‘WHAT THE HELL’S HE DOING?’.]

Richard, and then Wayne, lift a leg up while laying down. Greg and Colin, meanwhile, take pictures in between legs

[Poor Ryan. Turning away]

Wayne: “I’m funky with Richard, WHAT’S MY WIFE GONNA SAY?”

Immediately after the song ends, Colin checks his pulse. BROTHER, JUST YOU WAIT.

Drew: “I dunno about you, but I feel 10 pounds lighter already.”
Wayne: “I feel 10 pounds lighter and JUST A LITTLE DIRTY.”
Greg’s howling in the back. I don’t blame him

Greg: “Aw, man. If you all got to see what me and Colin got to see…”
Ryan: “LITTLE RICHARD!”
Greg: “He was dealing so much more than a meal!”

A really strong Song Styles, with a ton of energy, some fun lyrics, and some great participation from everyone. And OF COURSE Richard loved it.

Living Scenery: On a luxury cruise liner, a couple, Ryan and Colin, makes the most of a day of sunbathing, water sports, and entertainment.
Wayne and Richard will be all the props for these men

EXPECT LOTS OF WORDS

I love how once Richard pops up next to Ryan, he’s gonna put an arm around him or something, but he has no idea what to do with said arm, and he just…awkwardly places it by his side.

Richard, still very high energy: “THIS IS MY FAVORITE GAME, HOW ABOUT YOU ALL?”
My…god. There’s a Never Mind the Buzzcocks where Jedward had a whole thing of chocolate before they went on and bounced off the goddamned walls. They’ve got nothing on Richard

Drew explains the game: “However, since they don’t have any pro-”
Richard, STARTLING THE HELL OUT OF COLIN: “I’LL BE THE PROP! I’ll be ALL THE PROPS for these men…”
Dear lord.

I love that Richard knows he’s winning over Wayne, Colin and Drew, but not Ryan, so he just does this…butch, arms-crossed, gruff position, just trying to either act like or make fun of Ryan, and drops his voice down a few octaves, a lot closer to his actual tone I believe, going “…hey Drew…”
It’s like he knows he just made a gay joke, and is jokingly trying to contradict it by acting really masculine. Richard Simmons may have been more self-aware than anyone realized

Ryan wisely casts himself as the woman early. Just to give Colin a break. God knows what Richard would do to Colin if HE’S the woman.

Colin first uses Richard as a city-based telescope thing, which Richard does well, only,  uh…

…yeah
Colin: “…this one wants more coins…”
The audience is already dying at this. Richard once again tries to kiss him, and they laugh  harder. Just making this clear- the big laugh that puts the game off-kilter happens right at the start, not just at the jet-skis

Of course, the reactions to the coins line…are huge

Meanwhile, Richard’s still trying

Ryan, rationalizing: “I saw something funny!”

Colin: “Why don’t we get out the deck chairs? You get the shiny one.”
Yep. Switch who gets Richard
Richard:


[they’re all still howling]
Ryan: “THIS ONE’S WET!”
Richard:


So at least he’s amused

Colin, lost: “why don’t we, uh…”
Ryan: “JETSKI. I’D LOVE TO!”
Again, Ryan saves Colin’s ass in thinking of this

And Ryan scurries over to Wayne. This is the opposite of most Living  Scenery playings. Usually, Ryan races AWAY from Wayne to get to whatever hot guest they have. Here, he’s racing TO Wayne

Colin…shows his inexperience. He flips Richard over, so he can get a better bend, and uh…
…well…


Richard is bobbing his head in place, making this the single most suggestive goddamned thing in the world.
WAYNE NOW SEES THIS


AND NOW *HE’S* GONE. And he still has to do the scene and be neutral

Now Ryan’s gone


AND DREW

This is…the hardest I’ve seen Drew laugh in a while. He can barely breathe

Colin, obviously getting the joke, smokes a cigarette after he gets off Richard

After this, Drew’s dead. Greg has completely folded over, crying. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, WE JUST SHOW THE AUDIENCE

THEY’RE LOSING IT

Ryan: “IT WAS REALLY ROUGH OUT THERE”
Colin, smirking: “…believe me!”

Ryan now realizes he needs to set Colin up for more suggestive Richard things, since that seems to be the game here.
Ryan: “Honey…PLEASE climb that tree and get me a coconut…”
Richard:

Wayne’s still dying
Colin just grabs one off his crotch area. Of course. Low-hanging fruit.

Colin: “…this tree fell down”
And Colin collects some coconuts from Wayne’s crotch area. Poor Wayne
EVEN RICHARD’S laughing at this

Ryan tries to progress the scene forward: “we need to build…a raft to get off this island.”
Colin: “…we’re not using the jetskis?”
Ryan, saving Colin’s ass: “THEY’RE BROKEN NOW”
[“WAIT A MINUTE. THE CAT.” “THE CAT’S WET NOW”. Same energy.]

Ryan: “And you know how to build a good raft? You put pieces of bamboo together”
Richard:


Ohhhhhh man


Ryan: “LAY THEM DOWN ON THE  GROUND-”
Richard:

DEAR GOD.
Okay, now this scene’s got to me. This scene has a very clear game, and that’s that Richard jokingly wants to screw all three of these guys. And it’s a very belabored game, and they keep hitting beats over and over…but eventually, it breaks me. It’s the old Sid Caesar ‘This is Your Life’ bit. He goes back to repeatedly hugging his Uncle Goopy like seven times, and you get to the point where the second he gets up you start laughing. So seeing Richard knowing exactly what’s about to happen, and breaking the forth wall and adding that little Bugs Bunny touch…that’s what does it for me. Not just the jetskis, or the coins, but everything right after each other, pounding and pounding until it’s all washed over.

SURE ENOUGH:



Ryan, continuing to screw with Wayne: “IT’S GOTTA BE TIGHTER! TIGHTER!”


Drew is CRYING. Wayne can barely keep together himself.

And this is the visual we end on:


After a few seconds of paddling, Ryan, looking  RIGHT AT DREW, literally goes “OH, FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE.” Drew finally buzzes.
I love that that’s how it ends. Ryan literally calls an audible. It’s like Clint Eastwood ending his takes with “that’s enough of that.” Ryan literally goes “for heaven’s sakes”, and the scene ends. I don’t blame him or Drew

Sure enough, Richard gets an UNPROMPTED Standing O. The audience knows he delivered one of the funniest improv scenes they’ve sat through in a while, and they give back.

As they head back, Ryan’s recounting his favorite bit, and he’s cracking while repeating “this one wants more coins”. Greg’s crying. Wayne’s exhausted. Drew’s wiping his eyes.

Wayne:

Colin, of course: “You know what? I have never had a jetski lesson in my life. BUT…I THINK I’M TAKING IT UP!”
I love Colin. He admits his inexperience led to that blowjob joke. And he’s still standing by it

They’re all still basking in it. Drew’s making fun of the jetski. Ryan’s making fun of Richard’s mouth with the coins. Greg’s just…crying. Literally crying.

Greg, finally composed, sums it up: “…I’m just so happy!”

So…that was a fantastic game of Living Scenery. It had a very funny ‘game’ to it, Ryan and Colin responded well to Richard’s suggestiveness, then kept using it to elicit laughs. Lots of really funny bits that have been overheralded all over the internet, but enough that still makes me laugh. May not be THE funniest one, according to me, but still really damn good. Also…Richard Simmons was born for this game. He was INSANELY capable. And funny as hell.

Moving People: Ryan is an outlaw who holds up beautiful heiress Colin’s stagecoach [moved by Drew and Richard]

I like them bringing this one back for Richard, knowing it’d be fun

Richard: “…where’s Wayne?”
Wayne, at the desk: “…wassup baby, how you doin?”
Richard, dropping octaves and using his butch voice, smirking: “I’m doing pretty fine, Wayne, how YOU doin?”
aw, man.

Richard, realizing: “…who’s gonna move…Wayne?”
Ryan: “…WAYNE’S ALREADY BEEN MOVED…”
Drew: “ya can’t move him anymore, he’s been moved already…”

In the interest of time, this scene starts in progress, and only lasts 1 minute. But I wouldn’t want to cut any of Living Scenery either

Colin  suggests Ryan feel his butt
Richard, doing what he’s told:

Ryan: “…HMMM…LET ME COMPARE THE TWO.”
Aw god, it’s like no time has passed with him and this game
Ryan: “…your butt is much firmer than mine…”

There’s a lot of random head movement between  Drew and Richard, until we get this:



And, of course:


THAT breaks Colin. THAT does it. Ryan’s already had trouble staying together, but when it finally hits Colin, after a whole show of staying together, how ridiculous this is, that’s when you know you’ve got a good one.

A good, fun game of this…but I really wish we’d gotten an extended cut of this. I would have traded Newsflash for it. Just to see the top half of this game. Unless it really WAS that short. In which case…why? It was slightly haphazard, but why THAT short?

Ah, whatever, it’s the Richard Simmons show, so it’s still great.

Overall: Damn. Aside from a few games that were kind of alright in the beginning, this was a jolt of energy. i’ll admit this isn’t THE BEST guest star show (Florence Henderson still tops this one in terms of quality), but in terms of laughs. Oh, man. Song Styles, Living Scenery, and even Moving People are all legitimately funny. It should also be pointed out  that Richard Simmons  was a lot more lawful of an improv presence than you’d think. In  Song Styles, he makes sure everyone’s on Wayne’s side. In Living Scenery, he does the best object work he possibly can, while also being himself. Yes, his fast moving in the ender does take away from this, but it’s not like you can say he wasn’t a good improviser. It’s not like you can say he didn’t want to be there. And it’s not like you can say the show suffered from him being there. This is everything the producers wanted from a guest star taping, and in the future, they’d judge every guest star booking in comparison to this one, trying to find more ‘Richard Simmons moments’.

The other thing that surprised me was how this…still aged pretty well. There was no gay-shaming. The gaiety of the show wasn’t rejected or blocked or anything. Richard still came off as an unmistakable personality despite his flagrant personality. And the laughs did not come from  Richard being gay- they came from Richard Simmons being Richard Simmons, and all of these suggestive things happening with him CONTINUING to be Richard Simmons.

Hell, you can even argue that this show solidified Richard’s place in popular culture. The weight loss videos made him a star, but this Whose Line episode made him a wholesome gay icon that was able to make people laugh, intentionally or no. After this show, Howard Stern would have Richard on his program all the time, where he would repeatedly chase after Stern’s producer Gary Dell’abate [“GARY??? GARY WHERE *ARE* YOU?”]. You can also make the argument that the only reason people don’t call Gary ‘Baba Booey’ as much as they used to is because of Simmons yelling specifically ‘GARY?’. Whatever pop culture bookings would happen with Richard contemporarily, it would be this Richard, and the Whose Line episode put the image in people’s minds that this is who Richard was.

However, you can also make the case that this episode ruined his legacy. Since 2014, speculation has loomed over why Simmons hasn’t made any public appearances, and whether or not he’s being held by members of his estate against his will. The same portrayal of Simmons that Whose Line helped cement, the accurate portrayal, was the one in people’s minds when imagining Simmons being held down by his housekeeper. And through all the other false rumors, including one where he was apparently undergoing gender confirmation therapy [which has been debunked], people had to have been thinking about the Whose Line Richard Simmons. The openly gay, innuendo-friendly Simmons. And how this could be his life, and how much sense it made.

Now, granted, you can argue that Simmons made that persona for himself once he started doing weight loss videos and public appearances in general, which I don’t have a big amount of knowledge on. Maybe this is how he was even when marketing to overweight middle-aged women in the 80s. Maybe he didn’t tone it down for them at all. But I honestly think that this was the first mainstream window into how flamboyant and suggestive Richard could be, because everything else might have been either too niche or too sanitized.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m overstating. But Whose Line may have created the legend of Richard Simmons in the modern lexicon. And if that’s the only way average people know about  Whose Line, then fine.

Show Winner: Wayne
Best Performer: Wayne Brady. How can I not?
Worst Performer: Greg had the least to do, but even he had great lines during the games he wasn’t in.
Best Game: Living Scenery. It’s a classic for a lot of reasons, and I can say I understood most of them.
Worst Game: Newsflash was the most okay.

COMING UP NEXT: Somehow we have to follow this show. Here’s one from the Salute to TV taping, and some amusing games and runners featuring Brad.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E16, or Both Are Resting Comfortably.

From the same S4 Brad taping that gave us the very strong E3 of this season [“someone’s THONG is too tight”], we have another welcome Brad show, right before things get quite insane with S5 episodes.

Backwards Scene: At a casino, Wayne is left standing naked while his friend Ryan and croupier Brad laugh

HAVEN’T SEEN THIS ONE IN YEARS!

Wayne: “I’m bettin’ the HOUSE on this one!”
Ryan: “I wouldn’t bet the house on this one…”
heh

Wayne and Ryan go back to when they entered the casino, and Ryan decides to take the scene back even further: “Thanks, I had a great night!”

Wayne, backwards knocking: “I hope Ryan’s finished!”

Wayne exits
Brad: “Hey Charlie, lemme take over for ya…..MORNIN’ CHARLIE!”
Ryan:

The ending is very funny, improv-wise. Ryan finishes, and realizes the other two are offstage, and he’s now the focus of the scene, which he was NOT expecting. It’s very weird support from Wayne and Brad. So he just sort of comes forward, and ends the scene: “…you wanna come up to my room then?”

A clumsy playing of this, but very clever, especially in how far back they went.

Duet: Wayne and Brad sing to Angela, the sign-language interpreter, as the Blues Brothers

Drew hands Brad and Wayne sunglasses. Brad cleans them off on his shirt. Coronavirus isn’t gonna touch that man

Wayne already takes the part of the fast-talking Dan Aykroyd Elwood, again showing his  hand that he’s seen Blues Brothers, and loves it

Brad and Wayne have the dancing down, by far.

Brad and Wayne do really well with doing a gradual ascending note, like in Shake a Tail Feather, but the band gets to the chorus a good second after they do, and while it still works out, it’s noticeable

In between the good sign-language stuff, Wayne throws in a few flagrant thrusts.

Brad manages to spell her name correctly in sign language. TAKE THAT, WAYNE.

Brad keeps going, and doing rabbit sign language stuff, which cracks up Wayne

I also love when they try to spell out Love in sign language, and Wayne gets E wrong and Angela has to correct him

This was a clumsy number, but, again, Wayne and Brad seemed to be having fun with it all.

Brad: “Drew, how do I say ‘I’m really sorry’ in sign-language?”
Wayne: “Oh, well-”

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Brad, a pushy small-time talent agent desperate to get his client Colin some work, co-anchors, Wayne, James Brown and Michael Jackson in a Celebrity Deathmatch, does sports while Ryan, rise and fall of a 1930s gangster, does weather

Colin: “The great Jamboni, eccentric human cannonball known for taking his lucky donkey to all his performances, escaped near tragedy today when the donkey climbed into his cannon muzzle just as Jamboni was taking off. It took the surgeons 3 hours to remove Jamboni’s head from his ass.”
This is why Colin got a permanent anchor position
Drew AND Wayne have to stop to laugh. Brad, in character, is pointing to Colin, approvingly
Colin: “…both are resting comfortably”

Brad is channeling Jim Carrey in his fast-talking hype: “We may be in Peoria now, but he’s going BIG.”

Wayne’s is his usual schtick, but I do like that he seems to be channeling MJ’s mid-90s militant phase for a bit.
Still…I kinda prefer his James Brown. Because he doesn’t overuse it, and it’s just…so good.
The whole thing’s a big, energetic clash of voices and characters, and it’s the kind of thing that Wayne’s good at, but maybe because i’ve seen so many over 5 seasons…it doesn’t stand out as much to me.

The first moments of Ryan’s just crack me up:

He just holds this for 5 seconds. It makes me feel like it’s the opening credits of The Public Enemy or something

Ryan, in the best understated gangster voice: “….CARLOS LINGUINI IS TOO OLD TO RUN THIS FAMILY.”
I’m just cracking up out of likeness. He’s just that good

Ryan plans on using one of the cameras as a getaway car, but once he goes towards it, the camera guy moves it. Ryan, frantically, goes “WAIT, WHERE’S MY CAR GOIN?”
I did not expect him to lose control of the character like that. It caught me off guard. I’m laughing so hard

Ryan eventually uses Colin as a horse’s head in his bed, which Colin gives him a look for

Not a bad WN, but not a great deal that felt new to me.

Drew: “-500 to Ryan for making me kiss his hand on live TV”
Ryan:

Boogie Woogie Sisters: Brad, Ryan and Wayne sing about bear wrestling

A NEW GAME. A Doo-Wop variant

Drew: “This is for…WAD…”
Wayne: “YOU BETTER SAY-

IT JUST KEEPS GOING

Brad: “…lot of money in BEAR-WRESTLING…”

Wayne: “I wrestle bears from here to Uganda
Only bear I wrestle is a big ol’ panda…”

There’s not a lot to Brad and Ryan’s verses, but they all have the style down. Ryan, though, halfway through Wayne’s finishing verse:

He just cracks, and apologizes for the umpteenth time this show

Then, right at the end:

Wayne cracks. Ryan absolutely blew his verse, and he can’t get over it.
Drew:

Not much to this one, but it’s an interesting type of game

Then, Wayne goes over to the guy who suggested ‘bear wrestling’ and high-fives him. Brad goes over and punches him in the face. Brad and Ryan had NOTHING for that one, and it was harder than it needed to be, so I understand why.

Brad, coming back from punching  the guy:

Scenes from a Hat:

“Things you wish you hadn’t said to that Hell’s Angel”
Colin: “my, you have full lips!”
And he just has this weak smile after this
Wayne: “Heh, the bigger the bike, the smaller the- HEY, OW!”

Drew: “What really frightened Miss Muffet away”
Ryan and Colin:

EVERY TIME THEY DO THIS, I WILL LAUGH. IT’S THAT SIMPLE.

‘Dr. Seuss inspired pick-up lines’ has…TONS of possibilities
Ryan: “Come home with me, I’m not scary, I’m really rich, I’m Drew Carey-”
DREW BUZZES IMMEDIATELY

Brad: “You’re the kind of girl that I’d like to know. My name is Horton, and I see a HO.”
Perfect

Brad, instead evoking Seuss-label guy P.D. Eastman: “Are you my mommy?”
UNIVERSAL GROANS FROM THE AUDIENCE
Wayne:

Ryan: “Come sleep with me, sleep with me twice, I think that would be really nice
Looky  looky, the size of my shoe, you know what they say? Yes it is true.”
BOOM.

Kind of a minimalistic SFAH, but not bad.

Hoedown: Ryan’s wife

Drew asks the audience what they wanted to be when they grew up, and one very excited Whoser yells out “RYAN’S WIFE”. Drew had no choice.

The big reaction is when Drew actually decides to take the selection. Ryan even gives him a look, kind of shocked, but he deals with it.

Wayne, on Ryan avoiding dating:
“He wanted a girl with brains, and one that was kinda fine-a”
So he mail-ordered a chick all the way from China”
Ryan:

[he just…takes the insult. Knowing he’s up last]

Drew: “When Ryan first met his wife, she fell in love with his nose
She couldn’t wait to rip off all his clothes
But then she found out something that made her die
What they say about guys with big nose and big feet- it’s a lie.”
OOOOOH. Drew going for the jugular after last show Ryan confirmed he’s got stuff on him. Ballsy.

Colin: “Oh, Ryan Stiles, I’d love to be his wife
He’s the best lover that I’ve ever had in my life
After we’d made love, boy, I’m really high-steppin
Mel Gibson isn’t the only one with a Lethal Weapon.”
Good on Colin to not insult Ryan while Wayne and Drew do.

Ryan, obviously after several tries:
“Getting married is what I always wanted to do
The happiest day was when my wife said ‘I love you’
We’re the happiest couple to anyone who’s seen us
And it beats the hell out of sittin’ around and pullin’ my own penis”
BOOM. Instead of a slam at Drew or Wayne, he just goes blue and big for the last one. Noble and admirable.

Not a bad Hoedown, but slightly underwhelming considering the topic

Overall: A very meh show. Not even ‘alright and solid’ like last show. Couple games didn’t work. Some clumsy improv moves made the cut to get a laugh. ‘I’m very sorry’ was funny, but honestly overused. There was no overwhelming highlight game. And the tentpole, Weird Newscasters, wasn’t GREAT, but that may have been the fatigue of watching several shows consecutively.

Show Winner: Brad
Best Performer: Ryan had a huge night. Not even having much to do with the Hoedown being about his wife.
Worst Performer: Somehow, I am going with Colin. He missed 3 games, played straight man in one, and was alright in the other 2. A rare quiet Colin appearance in this era of the show.
Best Game: Weird Newscasters did the most with everyone. And I didn’t want to go with  Hoedown.
Worst Game: Boogie Woogie Sisters was literally left in BECAUSE it failed.

COMING UP NEXT: You can make the argument that Whose Line is it Anyway only made the jump into mainstream culture once in its entire run. And 5×17 is that one shining instance. Yeah, that’s right…perhaps the entire show to this date has been leading to this one jet-ski gag.

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E15, or Improv AND a Medical Report!

Just as she’s released from the hospital in real life, we have another Kathy Griffin episode, back to her S5 taping complete with ‘HAAAEEEEHH’ lady bellowing every time there’s something funny. Knowing this episode, we’ll be hearing that a lot.

Drew sort of dances down the stairs dangerously this show
Ryan: “Can you come down the stairs normal, I’ve got a mortgage.”

Questions Only: passions erupt at a luxury beach resort

Drew starts, as this is the first game of the taping, by saying ‘Kathy Griffin, one of the  funniest women in the whole wide world, nice to have you on the show”
I’d honestly agree with Drew. Kathy Griffin might be one of the funniest women performers in the show’s history. Not THE, as Josie Lawrence and Heather Anne Campbell still exist, but ONE OF.

Kathy gets the game IMMEDIATELY, as Wayne starts massaging her back: “Can you do it faster?”

Wayne: “Stella, you want your groove back?”

Wayne: [removes progressively smaller pairs of underwear]
Kathy: “annnd…what’s his name?”
Wayne: “would you like to meet Captain Willie?”

Ryan, 5 lines into his scene with Wayne: “…why aren’t you wearing any clothes?”

Wayne accidentally goes for a pun response to Ryan’s ‘WOULD I?’ [‘PEG LEG?’] instead of doing a better question

Colin: “…am I too late for the passions erupting?”

Ryan, testing Colin, asks if he’s ‘Fluffy the mime?’
Colin mimes a question mark. Ryan’s AMAZED

Ryan: “How much time did you spend in the joint?”
Colin: “Do you mean jail?”
Ryan: “What’s the joint mean to you?”

Colin, waving his arms: “WHY ARE ALL THESE THINGS SO…FRESH AND STRANGE TO ME?”
Ryan, caught off guard by the hand waving: “…I can’t…”
BUZZ
In the master, Drew’s still making fun of Colin’s hand waving

Colin, to Kathy: “Where have you been all my life?”
Kathy: “What are you SAYING, tiger?”
Colin, exact same tone as before: “…Where have you been all my life?”

Kathy: “Is this too…hot for you?”
Colin, goofily dancing and gyrating: “IS THIS?”
Kathy: ‘…yes.”
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Really fun round of this. Very substantial, and Kathy fit right in with the other 3. Also, no sign of HAAAEEEEHH lady yet.

Weird Newscasters: Colin anchors, Kathy, Clueless teenage Whose Line? groupie who has made it onto the show, co-anchors, Wayne, The dancing host of Soul Train gradually morphing into a goofy white guy then back again, does sports while Ryan, Vegas stage magician who only knows silly “Dad” tricks but performs them as if he’s David Copperfield, does weather

Drew, on Wayne’s: “Oh boy…you’re gonna get a letter…”

Colin: “Welcome to the 6:00 news-”
Kathy: “AND YOU JUST MAKE THAT UP? OH MY GOD.”
That is perfect. Right from the getgo.

Colin’s top story: “A fight was started downtown by a man wearing a suit made completely of mirrors. The police said the man apologized once he had time to sit down and reflect.”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER ONE. THERE WE GO. I WAS WORRIED.

Kathy’s freaking out about that Colin joke, turns and “OHHH MY GOD, DREW CAREY!”
She kisses him on the cheek, which is honestly the most flattering thing to ever happen to Drew in this game.

Wayne does a good job with his, slowly morphing into someone really uncool, but once he has a goofy white guy from the audience play him at the end, he has a hard time getting him to get the gist of the joke. Takes him more than a second.

Somehow, the goofy guy starts dancing and getting back on the audience’s side, which is NOT something Wayne expected

Colin, finally: “Wow…that was sad.”

Ryan also tries some goofiness, like putting his hand up his sleeve and looking like it appears, and doing finger tricks.

Then, Ryan goes to the audience and asks an audience member for their jacket.

That person down there, handing Ryan the jacket, is Elyse, who was one of the pioneering Whosers of the Drew run LA tapings. She was one of the prominent Whosers who attended six of the ten Season 5 tapings, and wrote reports online for fans to predict upcoming episodes with. I say this, because…

Ryan: “Nothing in this jacket…EXCEPT…for a pad of paper and a pen, but I’m not gonna use that…”
Yeah, that pad and pen was what Elyse was using to document games and happenings from the taping. Firstly, it was hard for her to do this one BEING IN THE FRONT ROW, but also…Ryan just pointed out her tell to everyone. Her pad’s been exposed. Now people who are in the know KNOW she’s taking notes.
I often wonder what would have happened if there was another round of LA tapings in 2002. Would the producers be policing pads and pens thanks to this incident? Would Elyse, Michelle, LKK and the other prominent reporting Whosers even be ADMITTED? It’s only a what if, because this was the last round of tapings for the Drew era.

Ryan uses the jacket to duck under and perform an escape act. Colin’s just amused as hell. He eventually appears in the audience, after annoying several row members

Ryan, after running back from the audience, then returning Elyse’s jacket, and getting back to the seats, acts like nothing’s happened.
Drew: “…quite a workout ya got there…”

An alright WN, but the antics of audience members were funnier than some of the actual quirks.

Irish Drinking Song: Graduation v1

Oh boy.

Ryan, on the audience applauding for this, cracks to Colin: “It’s a crowd favorite”
I’m guessing this was during pickups

Kathy: “My mom and dad are so proud”
Colin: “I am so happy”
Ryan: “There she is, she’s loud!”

I love the randomness of Wayne specifying “To DeVry I’m going!”

Ryan: “Then I’ll have a wife and kids”
Wayne: “And then I’ll read the bard”
Wayne cracks, as he had nothing

Kathy has trouble rhyming with ‘proud’, so Ryan has her go with ‘day’
Wayne: “I’m glad I graduated”
Kathy: “And wish I wasn’t gay!”

Ryan, progressing the story: “Today I just got laid off”
Wayne: “Ah…good grash.”
Kathy: “Graduation’s off our memory”
Colin, with nothing: “I HAVE TO GO TO A NEW PLACE.”

So, like the Kathy one, Wayne compensates by giving Colin something anything can rhyme with, “What will I DO?”
Kathy: “I’LL GET THE BEER NOZZEL KNOB.”
Colin…as everyone’s been progressing time further and further this game, goes the furthest: “There’s blood in my stool!”
AND THE REACTIONS…


IT’S IMMEDIATE. Kathy’s pretty strong here, but even SHE’S taken aback by this.

Poor Ryan

There’s not even a full reaction from Drew. Colin’s pulled so many of these that he just facepalms

Kathy, back at the seats: “…what? That totally made sense to me”
Wayne, with a line that still cracks me up: “Improv AND a medical report!”

Ryan even points out the funniest part of this: “well, ya know it was supposed to rhyme with DO.”
Colin: “…okay, POO I GUESS, but I didn’t wanna go that route…”

Kathy: “No, I liked that it was REAL.”

Drew: “I’m not givin’ ANY  points for that one…”
Colin: “I shouldn’t be the last person.”
[Memo to the CW, this was a JOKE.]

A very funny IDS. Very bottom heavy, but funny

Scenes from a Hat:

“Disturbing things to hear someone yell out during sex.”
Wayne: “…I’VE GOT BLOOD IN MY STOO-”
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER 2
I think this reaction is  in response to that laugh

As the audience laughs at this, Kathy even throws in an IDS refrain

Kathy: “YOUR NAME! I CAN’T REMEMBER YOUR NAME!”
Wayne: “DREW!”

“Odd things to say using a sexy voice”
Colin: “…you have a booger hanging out of your nose…”

Drew: “Bad moments for a woman’s water to break”
Wayne: [does a circus routine with Kathy]
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER 3, RIGHT AT A QUIET MOMENT.
Wayne, recovering, holds up the child like it’s part of the act
HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER 4. THEY’RE ALL COMING NOW

Kathy: “Don’t be nervous, it’s okay, I’m a virgin….OHHH…NO I’M NOT, NO I’M NOT!”
That’s funny. Kind of reminds me of some of Heather’s jokes from the CW version

Ryan: [hums the first 4 notes of Here Comes the Bride]
Colin: “OHHHHH!”
HAHAHAHA
Ryan: [hastily hums the rest of the song, rushing Colin down the aisle]

Drew: “When a passionate kiss is completely out of line.”
[any time on Whose Line?]
Colin and Ryan eye each other nervously.

Wayne starts out a scene onstage, then:

WOW

And, of course:

Ryan: [hums first 4 notes of Here Comes the Bride]
Colin, different tone: “OH!”


Ryan just makes sure Drew buzzes before the kiss.

Wayne: “Alright, officer”
Kathy: “Yeah, we’re taking  you in”
And in the absolute best timing:


Kathy, to Drew: “not so bad, is he?”
Wayne:

HAHAHAHAHA

Wayne does a football pep talk to end it, but Colin’s frightened the entire time, because he’s directly next to Wayne, and he knows what’s gonna happen. Eventually:

Colin’s still tense as hell
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

I love it. They both can’t believe the things they have to do on this show.

Really, REALLY funny SFAH. Lots of substantial, fun scenes. Wayne did a nice amount of heavy lifting, too

World’s Worst: Person to Share an Office With

We follow this quick-fire round with…another quick-fire round!

I love that Kathy gets to play this one, too. They’re actually giving her a chance, despite being a female performer. I like this!

Drew: [steps out]
Wayne: [buzzes]

Ryan: “ohhhhhh AYE DE DI DE DI DE DI…”

Colin: ‘……….AAAAAAAHHHHHH!”
[this is me at work]

Ryan: [puts on headphones…sings aloud to Lido Shuffle by Boz Scaggs]
[this is how I learned this song, lol]

Colin, calling back to 5×02: “Anyone up for monkey testicles and cola?”
[Also, this scene reminds me of how much Colin reminds me of Colin Robinson from  What we do in the Shadows]

Drew’s lowbrow runner elicits one more HAAAEEEEHH, bringing us to 5.

Kathy at least does a GOOD lowbrow one, using a CD to pop a zit

Kathy has another nice one: “Listen, honey, I don’t wanna have a fight at work, alright? My office-mate’s right here……..WELL MAYBE IF YOU COULD GET IT UP ONCE IN A  WHILE, I WOULDN’T HAVE TO SCREW YOUR BROTHER EVERY TWO SECONDS!”
Kathy Griffin was so damn good on this show, man

Colin, lifting something: “…hey, there’s blood on my stool!”
Ryan:

And, right at the end, HAAAEEEEHH NUMBER SIX.

Really good World’s Worst. Kathy had some good ones. Drew’s fell flat. Colin’s gotten the hang of this game.

Overall: An extremely strong show, from an extremely strong panel, with some extremely funny moments, and yet I don’t even think it cracks the top 5 of this season. Yes, the Whoopi show is still beating this one. But still, this show had the Blood in my Stool runner, but yet that didn’t feel like the highest height this show could muster. Questions Only had amazing improv, Weird Newscasters had amazing audience participation, SFAH had amazing teamwork and World’s Worst had amazing quickfire work. They spread their strengths all over the board, and I didn’t feel disappointed at all, even if Weird Newscasters relied on different factors to get humor. All four felt great, Kathy had a lot of awesome moments, and it flowed really nicely, improving vastly on E2.

Show Winner: Wayne
Best Performer: Colin, in a squeaker. He’s so good here he even wields running gags from other episodes.
Worst Performer: Ryan, oddly enough. Colin, Wayne and Kathy had stronger showings than he did.
Best Game: Scenes from a Hat, narrowly edging out Questions Only because it utilized more unity and collaboration, and also that Here Comes the Bride runner.
Worst Game: Weird Newscasters, but look what it was up against.
Final HAAAEEEEHH Count: Six. 5×02 had one more. Man, I was expecting LOADS.

COMING UP NEXT: Who says Whose Line doesn’t teach you anything? Thanks to this one, a S4 Brad episode from the same taping  as the g-strong episode, I know how to say ‘I’m very sorry’ in sign-language

Whose Watchdown is it Anyway: S05E14, or You Are All Gonna Pay

Another S4 leftover. This one’s from the same Chip taping that gave us the very strong E9. There’s not a TON of peak material here, but enough to keep me intrigued.

Let’s Make a Date: Chip must choose from Wayne, the amazing Italian acrobatic circus family and their world famous stool act, Colin, a backwoods farmer helping his prized cows Wayne & Ryan through difficult multiple births, and  Ryan , who is performing Drew Carey – The Musical

Ryan, upon reading his:
Drew: “…I’d like to remind RYAN, before we get started, where his paycheck comes from…”

Chip’s accent for this round is an ‘eastern European’ one, close to Russian

I love how Wayne does all the different voices for the Italian circus family

Wayne, sure enough, does a nice stool-balancing act there. Very similar to actual balancing acts I’ve seen on Got Talent shows

Chip: “I am Olympic weightlifter, in my spare time I am foot model.”

Colin grabbing and extracting at Wayne’s crotch area is very similar to some of his tickling from last episode. Man, I thought Party Quirks was the only source of Colin continuing to tickle Wayne this taping

Once Colin turns to Ryan, you just see Ryan’s eyebrows raise, then him stifle uncomfortableness as Colin grabs one out of him

Chip: “…Bachelor #2 I like the way you disgust the audience…”

Ryan…has fun with his
“My eyes are covered with glass…
AND LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY ASS…”

Ryan: [buzzes musically]
Drew: [grits teeth]

Wayne looks like he’s about to attempt another trick…so Colin knows this is a good time to screw with Wayne again, and make it more difficult for her

Chip’s question for Colin, “what is your least favorite nickname everyone gives for you?”, gives him a moment’s pause. A brief glimpse of humanity
Colin: “Can’t say it on television…man, I’m gonna have to castrate that bull…”

Ryan pulls some great faces as Colin yanks another calf from him.

Chip, also giving a great one to Ryan: “If someone was to MOCK YOU MERCILESSLY, what would they say to you?”
Ryan:

Ryan, getting to a classic slam: “I’m…in love with a girl named Maria…[MIMES BLOWING SOMETHING UP]
Drew:

HAHAHAHAHA
Colin even breaks here, looks RIGHT AT DREW as Ryan does this

Drew and Ryan just…look at each other for a few seconds after Drew buzzes. A moment  of hysterical tension.
Drew, finally: “I’ve got some bad news, during that game…Lewis died!”
HA

Chip’s guess for Colin, “a country veterinarian with way too much business’, is not only funnier than the actual quirk, but the plot of The Incredible Dr. Pol

Drew: “Who is Ryan, before we say goodnight to Ryan?”
Chip: “I HAVE NO IDE-no…RYAN IS STARRING-”
Drew, buzzing: “I DON’T KNOW EITHER, I dunno who the hell he is…”

Such a funny round of this, aside from the obvious Ryan gag. I honestly think Ryan’s had the least going on of everybody’s. Colin’s and Wayne’s were much more physical and honestly funnier, though the ‘look at the size of my ass’ line was great.

Drew: “It was fine, I can take a joke as much as everybody, but 1000 points to everybody…”
Ryan, mouthing, knowing Drew: “BUT RYAN”
Drew: “…except for Ryan…”

Wayne  finally asks who Ryan was, and Drew tells him, and Wayne…tries his hardest not to react.
Chip, playing along: “I didn’t get that at ALL…”
Wayne: “That wasn’t funny at all…”

Ryan, summing  it up: “I thought I was rather kind…seeing how I’ve got a LOT OF STUFF ON YA…”
PERFECT. Somehow, Ryan still ends up with the upper hand.

Drew: “So like I said, 5000 points to MY GOOD BUDDY RYAN STILES!”

Dubbing: Ryan is the leader of the Puerto Rican gang The Sharks and he is outraged when he finds his beautiful girlfriend Maria, audience member Galen, voice by Wayne, flirting with the leader of The Jets, Colin, on a playground in Spanish Harlem

Man, early, pre-guest star dubbing. Wow.

Ryan, upon hearing he’s playing a Puerto-Rican, looks away, smirking
“Finally, I get to use my dialects…”

I love the awkward progression from Galen putting her arm around Colin to just a full-on hug. SO MUCH HUGGING IN THESE EARLY AUDIENCE MEMBER GAMES
Ryan:

Ryan’s already done

Galen’s actually really good at nailing Wayne’s dialogue, even as he goes back for an even more rolled-r Maria.

Wayne: “I love the way the moonlight shines off the top of your head onto the monkey bars.”
Galen barely gets through this without cracking
Colin, shaking his head: “I love the way you laugh as you talk.”

Ryan: “Hey, drop my chalupa.”
HA

Galen has a  funny moment, where Wayne says ‘LOOK AT ME’, and Galen takes him literally and looks  at Wayne, making Wayne go ‘NO, not you”. This happens repeatedly. It’s very funny.

Ryan: “When we moved to America…from Canada…”
Yeah, that accounts for that accent

Wayne: “I said I’d stay by your side as long as you kept your Canadian-Puerto Rican accent but you’ve obviously LOST IT!”

I love the quick transition to the knife fight, and Ryan just casually stabbing Colin and going ‘that was easy’.
Colin: “hey…that’s no fair, I was dancin’ there…”

Ryan: “Maria, you must make up your mind”
Colin: “Well, I’m dying, so BIG CHOICE…”

Wayne sets Galen up to kiss Colin on the head, but Ryan hedges out of the way and beats  her to it
Colin ends the scene looking VERY confused

A very silly Dubbing. Not the best of these, but still very good. Galen seemed to enjoy herself

Ryan: “I said to Colin ‘did you know that was me’, he goes ‘yeah’, I go ‘how’d you know?’, he goes “I know your lips!”
This is what being an improv duo for 20 odd years does to you

Scenes from a Hat:

Drew, reading a VERY WORDY first scene: “Besides an athletic event or a criminal getaway, times when people run as fast as they can”
Colin: “Maria, before I die, GIVE ME A BIG WET KISS.”
HAAAA. I’d forgotten about that callback
Ryan: “….Hoedown?”
HA

Bad Segues Following Tragic News Stories:
Wayne: “It was a big, big loss. Speaking of big, right after this, The Drew Carey Show-”
BUZZ

Wayne, for the  third time this show, goes “no, NOT YOU…”
[I’m reminded of Louis CK, creep that he is, and his impression of his local French child molester: “No, NOT-A-YOOU!”]
Drew: “…you are all gonna pay…”

Drew: “Phrases that just don’t sound right when a cheesy announcer says them.”
Colin, perfectly: “PLEEEEEASE ACCEPT MY CONDOLENCES!”
Ryan: “THAT’S RIGHT, I’LL RESPECT *YOU* IN THE MORNING…”

“Things you shouldn’t do while standing in a police lineup” is a fun one. Chip tries robbing Colin, and Colin just indirectly motions to him. Ryan mouths “YOU’RE DEAD.” Finally, all four come up and Riverdance together, which is a fun visual

Not a bad round of this. Every suggestion had some funny stuff.

Greatest Hits: Songs of Rome

Colin: “Hi, we’ll be right back to our documentary on Proctologists in Love, ‘Somebody Up There Likes Me’
HAHAHAHAHA
Chip:

Ryan: “The city of Rome, the city of Love- is it?”
Colin: “it could be”
Ryan: “It is now.”
I love their banter in this.

Lots of fun puns from Chip and Wayne during the Tex-Mex number. Chip rhymes with ‘Augustus’ and ‘Cesarian section’. There’s a clumsy ending, as Chip starts looking at Wayne, trying to figure out  how they’re gonna  end the song. They thankfully end on both feet, but there’s a few measures of uncertainty

Ryan, screwing with Chip: “You know, when you listen to Tex-Mex, you don’t normally hear a lot of yodeling, but you do on this CD.”
Chip, from offscreen: “I TRAVEL A LOT!”
[Is this the Whose Line version of this?]

I love how, of all Offspring songs to emulate, Laura and Linda make this one sound like Original Prankster, which didn’t do too well in the US. I happen to love it, though

Wayne…does a great Dexter Holland impression.
“He said, hello man, and he grabbed me on my butt”

Wayne even adds a ‘Pretty Fly’ motif to the chorus, which garners some respect points

A very light Greatest Hits, but not bad. Good Chip/Wayne stuff.

Props: Ryan and Drew vs. Colin and Wayne

Ryan, using his as an electric chair: “I’m sorry, Phil, the governor didn’t call”
This one finally gets a reaction out of me, after several very basic props jokes
…and this ends up being the last one

Not a great props

Overall: A very alright show that didn’t do a lot wrong but only really stood out in Let’s Make a Date, and maybe some of Dubbing. Either way, everything in this show worked (except for Props), and nothing really had me too angry at anything. However, this is the kind of basic, sane show that would be more at home in season 2 or 3, and is a lot more rare in the more flagrant, wild hit-or-miss era of Season 5. It’s kind of refreshing to see a basic, alright show like this, in comparison to something like E12, which was a charming failure.

Show Winner: Chip
Best Performer: Ryan Stiles. Had the biggest moves of the show, did the most creative improv work.
Worst Performer: Honestly, Wayne only had LMAD to really impress me, and couldn’t outdo Chip, who had several games of strong work.
Best Game: Let’s Make a Date, obviously.
Worst Game: Props had barely anything new

COMING UP NEXT: Another one from the Kathy Griffin taping. Get ready to hear a lot more of the world’s most annoying audience member laugh, because there’s SEVERAL OPPORTUNITIES FOR IT.