Even if we’re still in the period if S31 before the bookings get really exciting [TRUST ME], the quality of panel arrangements has still been really strong this series, and this episode has a really nice one, even if they’re all newbies. Aside from requisite comedian Jamie-Lee O’Donnell, off of Derry Girls, and Stefflon Don, a rare black female rapper who doesn’t make Sky push her Buzzcocks episode indefinitely, we have, similar to Serge Pizzorno last year, a booking that seems like it should have happened years ago. Jake Shears’ Scissor Sisters bandmate Ana Matronic made multiple Buzzcocks appearances back in the day, even if Jake was the bigger name in the band. Now a solo artist, Jake’s finally able to do a show, and I have some high hopes for it knowing how well Ana’s went.
Greg, on Stef: “[she] once flirted with a drake, until a female duck shat on her head and quacked ‘YOU LEAVE MY MAN ALONE, YOU HUSSY’. Sorry, I read that wrong, she once flirted with DRAKE. [repeats punchline verbatim], that’s right, to be clear [CAMERA PAN IN] I’m saying Drake fucked a duck.”
Greg’s stuff can sometimes be a bit too much, but this works perfectly
Stef: “I was not expecting THAT intro..”
Noel: “you’re gonna get a lot of complaints from ducks now..”
Greg: “I stand by it. I…STAND BY IT, Drake fucked a duck.” [breaks]
Jake talks about starting his day with 8 shots of espresso, or really two 4-shot cappuccinos.
Jamali: “why not just do one line of coke, it’s the same thing?”
Jake also talks about the fact that this seems to shock people, but it’s normal to him
Jamali: “that leather jacket isn’t for fashion, you’re a bad fuckin’ boy, are ya?”
Greg asks Jamie-Lee how she differs from her Derry Girls character
Jamie-Lee, being Irish: “I’m not sixteen.”
Greg, being british: “you’re not sexting.”
Jamie-Lee: “SIXTEEN. Or sexting.”
Jamie-Lee: “I plan on being this Irish the whole rest of the way through, just so you know.”
Greg: “…I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Now that you mention it, S31 has been relatively heavy on the Irish. We just had CMAT last week, and we’ve got two Irish people in an episode airing 2 weeks from now. Plus, we’ve had Australians and Welsh, we’re just going wild with accents. Don’t stop there, bring back Fish and Dave Johns!
Stef talks about playing the Jubilee a year or so prior.
Noel: “Just for a second, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I was playing drums..”
PFFFF. That looks like a cross between Noel and HarMar Superstar honestly
Greg: “You were one of the last pop stars the Queen saw before she died. Did you tell her to drop it down low?”
Look, all the criticisms I’ve had with new-Buzzcocks go out the window when we get lines like that
Stef: “You dunno what the Queen gets, I mean she has kids, innit…she knows a thing or two about droppin’ it down low..”
Jamali: “I mean, she DID…”
Of all people to bring us back to reality
They all take an extra five or ten seconds to respond to this
I still don’t see why we have to fill the first 5 or 6 minutes of the show with extraneous bits like Jamie-Lee doing the splits. If the game does what it’s supposed to do, you shouldn’t need to fill time.
Sure enough, Jamie-Lee is about to do the splits, and Greg’s able to cross his legs and walk with his knees
Jamie-Lee: “…and I’m still fookin’ single..”
Greg: “you and me both, sister..”
Greg: “Our first round is called
FATBOY SLIM CLIP: “I see you baby, shakin’ that ass”
Greg: “….istant.”
PFFFF. A play on what Rhod Gilbert used to do
On what Pink makes her assistant do before shows:
My guess is B. Just knowing her.
Also, Greg goes down midway through A, around the time he has to describe Pink as like ‘a hungry Staffy’
Jaime-Lee thinks it’s B
Jake: “I can’t imagine she likes to get whacked in the nipples.”
Daisy: “I DO.”
Daisy points out the Snickers/Marathon renaming, and Greg gives her shit for knowing that, especially considering that Greg’s older and remembers that. To their point, Jake doesn’t know what a Marathon bar is.
Greg: “I’m the only one who should remember Marathons, what, Uncle Horny and me?”
Jamali: “…did you call Noel ‘Uncle Horny’?”
Noel: “FUCK YOU, GREG!”
PFFFF
Greg: “how do you get pumped up for a show, Stefflon?”
Stef: “I say a nice prayer, and then I twerk.”
It really is that simple
Greg:
“….Jesus and twerking.”
I do like Greg not believing that Daisy’s team is going for B, and his bemusement that they end up being right. Yeah, Pink is more ‘fucked up’ than crazy, it makes too much sense.
On Stevie Nicks’ preferences:
Jake tells a story about meeting Stevie, and it’s a great story because it happened at Dave Grohl’s party, and Dave introduced them, and you get the sense that Dave and Jake are friendly, which is…very cool.
Noel talks about meeting Stevie when he was tight with Courtney Love. “I think at one point Carrie Fisher was there too. There were a lot of deep voices in the room that night..”
Jamali talks about a friend being on speed and weed at the same time.
Greg: ‘doesn’t that just make you normal?”
Jamali: “YOU WISH”
Noel: “that friend was me and it was before the show.”
After everything I was saying about the grandstanding in the opening, we actually get to Intros less than halfway through the show. Progress!
Noel finally takes aim at Greg’s repeated insistence that they need the title of the song, saying sometimes if he gets the right group Greg has a visible facial reaction. So in response, Greg turns around. I do like how the regulars interact here
Noel’s not able to get his team’s first intro, so Greg passes it over.
Daisy: “….TUPAC.”
Jamali: ‘no.”
PFFF
It turns out to be Let Me Blow Ya Mind, which…damn I was looking in the wrong place, then
Jamali and Stef’s 2nd intro is…not very musical, but you can get a piece of something how JAMALI of all people is leading. Stef, after a bit, just dances.
Greg: “Look at Stefflon…for no other reason than it’s fun to watch”
Noel: “I think you two think you’re better at this than you are.”
Greg: “I mean it’s not bad..”
Noel: “not bad?? This sounds like the air conditioning in my room..”
Greg throws it over
Daisy: “…Match of the Day?”
Greg: “…YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT.”
Reminded me of Sean Hughes there
Noel, when he hears that it was Lust for Life: “…OH MY GOD.”
Yeah, that wasn’t even close
Jamie-Lee, getting up: “this is gonna be shite..”
Greg: “that is NOT the attitude to start with..”
Okay. So. Jake gives Jamie-Lee an idea of the backing drumbeat, makes sure she goes, and then goes right into a flawless rendition of the guitar part from No One Knows by Queens of the Stone Age. Again, owing to Jake’s earlier anecdote, he knows Dave Grohl, and he lets Jamie-Lee, the more nervous intros-giver, do Dave’s part. The only thing is…WAS DAISY LISTENING TO QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE IN 2002?
Daisy after a few more runs: “…no fuckin idea.”
SURVEY SAYS: NO
Even stranger: Noel guesses Burn the Witch. HE’S GOT THE BAND RIGHT. But he instead guesses the single off the next album.
Ironically, no one knows No One Knows. I wish Greg could have seen the joke in that.
Greg has a quote from Josh Homme saying that music is one of the only things where there’s no rules. “There’s tons of things that have no rules, like dogfights and orgies, both of which I’ve personally experienced in Jamali’s hot tub.”
I love Jamali’s confusion at this
Jake and Jamie-Lee’s second intro is nearly there but they both aren’t really on the same page. Daisy really seems to think it’s Clocks by Coldplay [as did I], and Greg has to tell her it’s incorrect, even though she takes it to mean that the song title isn’t correct. Noel’s team is also trying to figure out which Coldplay song it is, which, HAH NOEL YOUR NEMESIS RETURNS.
Somehow, Jamali gets it right that it’s Dreams by the Cranberries. OFF OF THAT. Wild.
As the song plays in, Jamali’s going ‘I LOVE THIS SONG’, and nobody can believe he got it, especially Greg, who’s just going ‘fuck you, Jamali’.
Jamali: “hey, listen, I play this at all my dogfights..”
Ah yes, because the edit allows it, MICK HUCKNALL ROUND
Noel, muttered during the first one for Beyonce: “I’m terrible at this…is THAT Harry Styles?”
Also, props to Jamie-Lee for guessing Iggy Pop before Noel could
On the last one, which is Jared Leto at the Met Gala, Jake confers with Daisy
Daisy: “no, I don’t think it is him….he just goes ‘is it Simply Red?”
Daisy’s team has to guess which of these two were in A Touch of Class:
[oh yeah, ‘All Around the World’ made it over to the US, I remember this one]
Daisy: “Why are they dressed like the 1986 Challenger disaster?”
PFFF. A rare punchy one from Daisy. Jake is literally yanked back in his chair.
Jake does compliment the five men’s looks
Daisy: “they’re like a sort of regional Magic Mike”
PFFF. I love that Daisy’s whole panel gets along
Jamali: “#2 looks like a Viking in a bad low-budget movie.”
#2: [breaks and then immediately tries to hide it]
Daisy: “#2 looks like an Ibiza DJ on the quiet part of the island.”
Oh god I love that
Noel: “these guys look like they’ve set up a business for visually impaired plumbers.”
PFFF. ALL OF THESE ARE SO SILLY
And what it is basically is that every time you can see that Jamie-Lee or Jake isn’t sure, Noel strikes again: “they look like they’re about to form a human tripod on a moped.”
It turns out that the one they weren’t sure about, #5, was right and the one they were always confident in, #2, wasn’t.
They play in the 911 song for Noel’s ID Parade, and Daisy starts literally fangirling. Greg refers to this as “the most excited I’ve ever seen Daisy May Cooper”, who has to fan herself as Greg intros them. Now we know why Daisy didn’t get this one.
This also means that Jimmy Constable, who appeared way back in S4 on a panel with Arthur Smith and Mel Giedroyc, has been Garlicked in this occasion
Greg: “are you a fan, any of you?”
Jamali: “Am I a fan of 9/11?”
OH THAT’S WHY THIS ONE CAME OUT THIS WEEK
I do like Stef admitting that 911 was before her time, Greg registering that someone isn’t old enough to remember 911, and going “….thankyou.”
Greg: “Noel?”
Noel: “…too young.”
The audience laughs at this
Noel, to the audience: ‘fuck you!”
Stef doesn’t think #2 has swag
Jamali: “I think #2 has swag, it looks like he dated Kerry Katona in 2003.”
PFFF. EVEN #2 IS SLIGHTLY CONFUSED AT THAT
Greg: “look at Daisy, normally she’s chipping in during this.”
Daisy: “I’m just trying to figure out which one I’m gonna shag afterwards..”
Jamali rebuts Stef’s claim that it’s #1, as there’s a palpable age difference between 1 and 4. “Unless they’re a father-son duo. They’re called 911 not Boyz II Men..”
Greg, about to let them step forward: “and I want them to get ready to run, because Daisy’s gonna be over that desk..”
It ends up being 1, 2 and 4.
Stef, to #1: “so how old are you then?”
Jamali: [head hits desk]
Turns out, he’s 50.
Jamali: “you’ve got the face of a baby and the eyes of a war veteran..”
#1 admittedly loves this
I love the moment during next lines where Greg gives Noel’s team a line from Take Ya Mama, and Noel points directly at Jake, who’s holding still and trying not to reveal anything. Also, Greg gives it to them despite Jamali not being especially coherent recounting those lyrics
Overall: Solid show. Maybe not quite as good as last week, but there was a lot coursing through this one, and a lot owing to the preestablished dynamics. To that end, there wasn’t one guest performance that stood out overwhelmingly, but all three were good. I could have used a bit more from Jake but he had fun. Jamie-Lee was on defense a lot. Stef I think was the most pivotal guest tonight, and I’m fine with that. I liked a lot of the natural bits here, like everyone not hearing that the intro wasn’t Coldplay, Noel as Uncle Horny, and the 911 ID Parade sequence. It wasn’t a big, bawdy show, but it was solid and steady and did what it needed to. I think more ‘middle of the road’ Buzzcocks’s should be like this one, rather than being forgettable or meh.
Best Regular: Noel did the most tonight
Best Guest: Stef got the most laughs
COMING UP NEXT: One of a few forthcoming shows featuring long-lost returning panelists from before the reboot. This one I’m especially excited for, because it re-pairs Noel with an old friend, and it leads to a really inspired booking on Daisy’s side.
In which Jordan writes about stuff 