Never Mind the Watchdown: S31E06, or Let’s See That Other Hand, Girl!

When I say that modern Buzzcocks should have panel arrangements that feel fresh and out-of-the-ordinary, this is exactly what I mean.

The least well-known person in this panel is someone I have still heard of- Dermot Kennedy’s songs have gotten play on some of the alt-rock stations I listen to. Then there is the savvy alumni booking, in Roisin Murphy of Moloko, who made several very fun appearances on the original Mark Lamarr version. Roisin recently came under fire for some uneducated comments she made about trans people, which she has since apologized for, which explains why this episode has been released and the Lady Leshurr one has been locked in the same vault the Russell Brand show was. And then we have Billy Porter, who honestly is known more for his status as an actor than as a singer to me, but did have a musical career in addition to roles on Pose and such.

What’s odd is that this means there are no British guests. An American and two Irish people. That’s something you don’t see everyday on this show. There have honestly been a ton of Americans on this series in general, cause we’ve had people like Gregory and Jake Shears, and we’ve got another American down the pipe in a couple weeks [that one’ll be interesting to say the least].

Greg mentions that Billy won 100 grand on an episode of the original Star Search with Ed McMahon, “unlike tonight, where all he’ll be taking home is the disgust for the standards of british television.”

Very funny bit where Greg mentions that all of Roisin’s favorite karaoke songs are in Italian, goes ‘no way, me too!’, and barrels into a rousing rendition of Shaddapa You Face. The funniest bit to me is Roisin providing an ‘EY!’ on the downbeats.

Greg: “I wanna get straight in with the big questions. Dermot, tell me about being attacked by a goose.”
Dermot: “Terrible.”
It’s kind of a simple story, though I like Dermot going “you should interview the goose, actually, because my mom dealt with it.”
Jamali: “Did your mom phone his mom?”
HAHAHA. Okay. Gripe all you want about how Buzzcocks isn’t as good now, Jamali Maddix is still fucking hysterical.

Noel reveals he was attacked by “an alpaca, I think.”
Greg: “AN ALPACA, I THINK.”
Noel: “It might have been a llama, it’s hard to tell. I mean, what is an alpaca, just a llama with a perm…it’s like, what’s a moth, it’s just a 70s butterfly, innit?”
ROISIN GOES DOWN AT THIS. Yeah, she thought SHE was weird on this show, but she was here for Sean and Bill, NOT NOEL.

Greg: “Jamali, animal attack?”
Jamali: “no, no, I punched a panda once, but..”
NO ONE ELSE LIKE HIM
Jamali: “I don’t care if there’s four of you left, you were giving me too much..”
Noel: “ya gave him a black eye and no one noticed..”
ALREADY WE’RE ON FIRE

Greg goes over some of Roisin’s onstage getups:

Roisin: “my interpretation is it’s a MOON…”
Noel: “I thought you were being eaten by a manta-ray..”

Greg asks Billy to explain the Met Gala to him, which…do people in the UK not know what the Met Gala is? I’m from the East Coast and I’m on Twitter, so I may have an unfair advantage, but I feel like it’s at least sort of well known.
Billy: “The year I went, the theme was camp,”
Greg: “Oh, and you KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK..”

Greg: “I’m sorry to be practical and british about this, but how did you get in a taxi?”
Jamali: “did you fly in?”
Billy’s in mid-point when he registers this and falls to pieces. Billy’s been a great audience so far this show

Greg, in contrast to Billy and Roisin, presents the many fashion looks of Dermot, varying degrees of white shirt and jeans. Dermot gets what he’s doing almost immediately, but it works
Billy: “when you look like that, all you need is a white t-shirt, girl!”
I shouldn’t be surprised that Billy Porter rules on this show, and yet I am

As I say that, Greg brings up the different fashion phases Billy has gone through. “What phase are you going through here?” [CUT TO A SEQUINED HAT THAT PARTS MIDWAY]
Billy: “FUCKING FABULOUS.”
Damn right.

I also love Greg’s immense joy at being called a bitch by Billy. You can tell it’s genuinely cool that Billy’s here and having a good time.
Billy, to the audience: “A bitch is a term of endearment, just so y’all know..”
Jamali: “I tried explaining that to my mom once and she wasn’t having it..”
Greg: “you’re gonna get irritable when you live with someone, right..”
HAAA.
Jamali: “FUCK OFF…I don’t live with my mum, bruv..”
Greg, cracking: “he totally does..”
Jamali: “I told you, she lives with ME, ya prick..”
I really do love how the regulars get along

On how Mr. Followell broke up the Kings of Leon boys’ house parties:

Greg somehow keeps it together during B, and honestly he adds to the experience.

Roisin talks about her dad bringing various things back from the pub, like a shark, which he proceeded to cook in the middle of the night, and “the entire cockpit of a WWII fighter plane.” Daisy’s howling at this. I love how matter-of-factly and straightfaced Roisin riles all this off, a reversal of her gigglier self from the early 2000s.

Greg has another extended prop bit, [“this is what we were gonna do”], and man do I still not love how this grinds the actual game of the show to a halt all the bloody time.

I say that, and them actually deliberating isn’t as funny. So maybe they know that.
Anyway, they guess B, and it’s A.

On what fellow frequent NMTB guest Suzi Quattro’s dad did backstage to a fellow celeb:

Greg clearly wrote the 3rd one.

Jamali: “I’ve gotta be honest with you, I think if Chuck Berry’s gonna do a crime, it’s gotta be worse than tickling…”

Daisy, on an embarrassing moment: “I once sent a picture of my tits to a bloke, and he said ‘oh that’s nice, can we just be friends?”
Roisin loves this.

Greg plays in the clip of Roisin falling off the stage in mid-gig, I do like Roisin going ‘oh no’ the second it begins.

Like the last question, they guess B, I really want it to be B, but it turns out to be A.

Greg finishes the round by playing in the clip from Midsummer Murders of Suzi Quattro getting electrocuted in mid-gig, and it as as funny as he lets on.
Roisin’s in absolute disbelief. “NO WAY…and she FELL OVER because she was electrocuted?”
Greg: “I’m sorry, I’m just realizing that Roisin thinks that was real footage.”
PFFFF

Dermot and Billy’s first intro to Daisy is pretty awesome. It took me maybe an extra 10 seconds to register it, but the hook makes it clear, it’s Upside Down by Diana Ross.
Daisy gets it almost immediately, and Billy basks in it. That’s such a fun panel

Billy and Dermot’s second one, which Dermot’s taking a more passive approach to, is either ‘What’s Up’ by 4 Non Blondes or ‘It Ain’t Over Til it’s Over’ by Lenny Kravitz. Probably the first one. [It was].

Daisy: “is it…uh…[Chad Kroeger-esque] here’s a photograph…”
Greg: “…NO.”
I do kinda like how bad Daisy is at guessing Intros. She’s bad at giving, she’s bad at guessing. There’s a charm to her, though

I also love Billy singing backup to the played-in 4 Non Blondes clip. He’s just in a really fun mood, and I’m here for it.

Greg: “I’m glad you had such a good time, but let’s not forget that Suzi Quattro’s dead.”
It would have been awful if she passed in between filming and release.

Onto Jamali and Roisin’s:
Jamali: [coughs]
Noel: “is that it?”

Roisin does nail a Curtis Mayfield one that Noel gets immediately. Jamali, a lot like Dermot, was just sort of there.

What’s really cool about this panel is that after Roisin and Jamali’s pretty good rendition of Sign Your Name by Terence Trent D’Arby, you can catch the moment where Billy gets it, and then the moment where Noel trusts his instinct with it. Billy’s even excited with Noel’s right.

I did like, as the real Sign Your Name plays in, and Jamali hears what the drums sounded like on that song, his expression curls and he goes ‘wait, what was I doing?”

Greg, going to break, pulls a random fact out of his ‘big book of pop facts’. This one concerns Lisa Stansfield, who first appeared on Buzzcocks in a panel alongside none other than Roisin Murphy [that was the one where she used the chanting at the beginning of the intro to Sadness to make a cheeky joke about the Catholic church, making her the Mario to Sinead O’Connor’s Wario].

Noel’s team have to pick out two members of 80s girl group Mai Tai:

Greg’s intros for these girls are standard, until #5, who he dubs “never got over Lady Di.”

Jamali: “#3’s standing like a Jehova’s Witness.”
I love the moment where #2 briefly peers over to get a look at #3 to see what he’s talking about.
#3, after standing still for a good 10 seconds:

Like a freight train
Jamali: “like she’s knocked on your door and she knows I don’t wanna answer it..”

Greg brings up that one of the members of Mai Tai was held up before a performance “because she got her hand stuck in a tour bus door”
Noel: “well it’s #1 then, look, she’s only got one arm!”
#1’s expression gives off a feel of “…DAMMIT!”
Billy: “LET’S SEE THAT OTHER HAND, GIRL!”
God bless Billy Porter, man…
Noel: “she has to pretend it’s in her back pocket now..”

Greg: “oh god, I’m frightened for her to bring her hand out now”
Noel: “PLEASE don’t let it be a hook..”
Noel Fielding is still incredible on this show, and his humor still enhances rounds like this

Noel’s looking at 1 and 4
Greg: “I want you to pick 1 because I want to have a look at that hand.”
Noel: “…it might just be really big, that hand..”
Greg: [dies]

Turns out their initial inclination of 2 and 4 was right, and the one-armed #1 was a red herring. Kinda funnier that it is

Daisy’s team have to pick out Ultra Naté, who did ‘Free’:

Greg has another cheeky one for #5, “appearing on this was not worth the fee”
Also it’s #3 cause A.) that’s her, and B.) she’s trying not to laugh

Billy: “So this is my time, this is my era….I was doing LOTS of recreational drugs in 1998.”
Weren’t we all?
Billy: “Ultra Naté was BALD at the time…SO I’M CONFUSED.”
I was thinking Billy would be the confused, out-of-it type of American guest, and he is absolutely not that, this is wonderful.

Greg mentions that Ultra Naté considers herself a frugal person.
Jamali: “Did you say frugal? #3 saves on all her haircuts.”
#3: [still trying so hard not to break]
Daisy: “#3 looks like she makes a living by twisting nipples.”
Daisy is somehow getting AMAZING at this round

Billy is ruling out a bunch of people, like 1 and 2. “I’m telling y’all, I saw this bitch in the CLUB.”

I’ve noticed Greg has had to draw in Dermot a lot during this show, cause he’s a lot more introverted than the other two guests. Not that he’s been bad, he’s just been a lot quieter.

I think it is pretty incredible that Billy gets that it’s #5, and she’s so happy that he recognized her. AND THEN BILLY RUNS OVER AND GIVES HER A HUG. This is genuinely awesome.

Greg, perfectly: “Just so you know, #1, because you’re so tall, I’m fighting the urge to give you a hug..”

I dunno, something about Free made me think Ultra Naté was British, the ‘DO WHAT YOU WANT TA DO’ bit had the same accent as somebody like Mel B shouting in the middle of a Spice Girls song. So it’s kinda cool that she’s from Maryland.

Roisin is awesome at Next Lines, man. She manages to get through the ‘joke song from a running gag’ next line, the ‘let’s see if they get their own lyrics’ next line, and the ‘song from an ID Parade participant’ next line, all with panache.

Greg, telling Daisy’s team they need 5 points to win: “Only an opinion, I think yer fucked..”

To Dermot’s credit, not only does he get HIS own Next Line correct, but he has a bashful little grin at his own lyrics.

Greg’s astonishment that Noel’s team has won does let on the fact that Daisy’s team swept the first five shows, and it was the unstoppable force of Roisin Murphy that finally got him a win.

Overall: What a fun show! Both Billy Porter and Roisin Murphy delivered on my expectations of them and made for a really enjoyable atmosphere, already buttressed by this version of Buzzcocks being a well-oiled machine. Daisy’s shit at Intros but she’s doing a lot better at the off-the-cuff gold. ID Parade especially was a goldmine of really nice moments, and I loved Billy’s eventual recognition of a great club act of his youth. This one gave me a lot more from Noel as well, as he’s slowly given me more great stuff after deferring to Jamali a lot. I do think a lot of Greg bits didn’t work for me, like usual this series, and they’re really trying to do things that take away from the actual gameplay, perhaps because it’s a lot for the gameplay to elicit actual comedic energy as naturally as before. I also think Dermot was kind of a weak guest, he didn’t really do too much. But this still really charmed me, and I think it’s one of the better ones of this series.

Best Regular: Jamali Maddix, just striking gold for most of the night
Best Guest: Billy Porter not only got the show, but had such a nice time

COMING UP NEXT: They slotted this in for earlier in the series erroneously, and I was kinda sad when it was pushed to here, but we’re getting it now. Two very cool returns for two consistently great Buzzcocks guests of yore. Though it helps that one of them won Taskmaster a while back.