The quest for the lost episodes continues, this time taking us to Series 7, which, to be honest, is one of the weakest series’ of the Sean Hughes era. like, to that point it was ascending every series, but 7 was a bit of a step back, with the exception of the Daphne & Celeste episode.
We’re onto episode 9, featuring Alvin Stardust, Liz McClarnon, Lloyd Cole, who used to front The Commotions, and DJ Trevor Nelson.
Mark, introing Alvin: “Alvin’s been in the industry for almost 40 years, and if I may make a suggestion…lose the coif.”
Nice nab at his own lack of hairstyle.
The first round is about how Sting got his name…can’t be good.
Sean: “Is it because he’s really tiny? Because if you look at the first shot there- that’s actually a chessboard…”
Mark: “In an interview, Sting revealed that his biggest worry was being killed by a falling coconut, as he would always be remembered as the bloke who was killed by a coconut. “I can’t think of anything more embarrassing”, said Michael Hutchence in an interview.”
…wow. I’m just shocked that he went the whole segment without bashing Sting.
Alvin: ‘I’ve got to be very careful with Oasis, because apparently, I saw ’em in an interview once, apparently I was one of the people on their wall. Mind you, Mark apparently had me on HIS wall, so it doesn’t say a lot-”
Mark: “Are you implying that we’ve had a homosexual liaison together?”
Phill: “Imagine, if you two DID have sex, the SUPER-COIF THAT WOULD BE BEGAT…like a GODZILLA coif!”
Alvin’s saying something about the Captain Sensible clip, and Mark’s looking around, looking in his glass, distracted. Finally, Alvin just goes over to Phill and says “I realize now why Reeves and Mortimer kept him down so much. He can be a real shit, can’t he?”
Mark cracks up at this one, knowing he’s right.
Alvin’s referring to something with Mark that he’s not supposed to talk about.
Phill: “Is it a coif thing, like Star Wars, going “MARK, I AM YOUR FATHER!”
Alvin: “You’re very close, there…that’s it, it’s out now…”
Phill: “MY SON, WITH OUR HAIRCUTS WE’LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! WHY DID YOU SHAVE YOURS OFF, MARK? WHYYY?”
Trevor asks if Phill and Alvin can make the intros funky. So, as they’re doing their first intro, Mark just sings over them, ‘One Nation Under a Groove’ by Funkadelic, just to A.) distract him, and B.) Piss him off.
Trevor: “It’s ‘One Nation Under a Groove’
Phill: “No, it WASN’T ONE NATION UNDER A GROOVE.”
Trevor: “Then SHUT UP, MARK!”
They try it again, and this time Mark just sings ‘You Make me Feel (Mighty Real)’ over them, which…also pisses Trevor off.
Mark: “How you doing there?”
Trevor: “…..One Nation Under a Groove?”
Phill: “NO??”
Some of the fake names for the ‘Video Killed the Radio Star’ ID Parade
#2: Porn Star. (Big audience reaction
#3: Freddie Star (he cracks up)
Sean: “#1 and #2 know each other, 2 from the porno, and 1 looks like he’s on the censorship board. ‘VE VILL *NOT* BE SEEING DAT IN OUR COUNTRY!”
Mark: “Which country is that, then, Sean?”
Sean: “Um….Switzerland?”
Mark keeps saying that Lloyd is unable to smile throughout the show, so he decides to swap #4 out for Lloyd in the ID Parade.
He redoes the ID Parade intros, and calls #4, Lloyd, “Miserable Bastard Star”, which causes him to break a bit.
Mark: “I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM!! I GOT YOU, COLE! I’M YOUR DADDY NOW!”
Overall: As much of a good episode as Series 7 could give. Alvin was in a fantastic mood, even working off of Mark. Lloyd’s mood rose as they went on. Liz and Trevor got a lot done without doing a great deal on the panel. Not a TON going on, but the Alvin moments elevate it.
Best Regular: Sean
Best Guest: Alvin
Best Runner: Lloyd won’t smile.
In which Jordan writes about stuff 