I find it very funny that during a national period of mourning, Mock the Week pushes its premiere, which was already pushed an entire season due to the host’s touring schedule, another week, while Never Mind the Buzzcocks just throws its premiere on Sky. Because…the Queen would have wanted it that way.
I was actually pleased with the first series of the NMTB reboot. Greg’s a great host, Noel got right back into it, there were decent bookings and inspired game rounds. My issues remain with the continued lack of emphasis on the game and the absolute inability for Daisy May Cooper to do intros or get through a round without laughing her ass off. I doubt the last one’s gonna change, I just need to get better at dealing with it.
But yeah, onto a new series, and hopefully this one will fix some of the issues I had with S29 though it likely won’t. The bookings for Episode 1 are a very impressive bunch, with Noel getting the more pedestrian panel of Jamali Maddix, who’s still around for every episode, and requisite pop singer Mae Muller. Daisy has the ‘omg’ panel- Daisy gets to hang out not only with Russell Howard, who got his start on this show and eventually hosted one of the single best guest-hosted NMTB shows of all time, but frigging Nile Rodgers, the guitar legend who’s effortless slide riffs produced hits for Chic, David Bowie, Madonna, Lady Gaga and Daft Punk. I am genuinely shocked they got him.
Alright, on with the show, let’s see if I’m kinder this series
Greg bills the show as “the show where all the kids you bullied at school can finally bully each other.”
That’s pretty accurate
Jamali is wearing a 90s/00s-era Florida Marlins cap. Between him and the 2009-era Astros cap Dappy wore in his last appearance, can’t these people pick GOOD teams?
Although…although the Marlins did win 2 World Series rings in those caps…so…adv- Jamali
Greg, on Russell: “he’s handsome, he’s over a decade younger than me, yet in an informal swimming race in a hotel, I ABSOLUTELY DICKED HIM.”
PFFFF
Greg, on Nile: “he’s written some of the most iconic guitar riffs of all time, FUCK KNOWS WHAT ‘E’S DOIN’ HERE..”
The good news is Nile seems to love that joke
Jamali, on being here for S2: “I spent all my money, so I had to come back..I invested in Wu-Tang nunchucks and there was no growth”
…something tells me Mark Lamarr also invested in Wu-Tang nunchucks
Mae, who’s never done panel shows before, is happy to have a buzzer.
Greg: “the buzzers are absolutely not connected to anything” [feebly presses buzzer] “And that, my friend, is your first insight into the HOLLOW LIES OF SHOW BUSINESS.”
Greg digs up that Mae was one of the kids in Mika’s Grace Kelly video, which is honestly pretty cool. Mae does mention that Mika wanted someone with “fucked up teeth”
Greg: “I mean, to be fair, Mika’s got a point, doesn’t he?”
Greg teases that Mae has a connection with Noel
Mae: “I haven’t actually brought this up with you…”
Noel, perfectly: “…shit, what’s happening?”
Mae says she used to live below Noel, and enough pervs in the audience make the connection that Noel has to look at them and go ‘ALRIGHT!’
Greg: “must have been like living under a flamenco school”
Mae says that she moved out after a bit
Noel, perfectly: “I got you moved out cause of your teeth”
Greg jokes with Russell and Daisy about representing the west country [“who’s guarding the west since you’re here?”]. He also mentions that when he was a kid, the west country was represented by different people, and he literally plays in the Wurzels, which means somewhere, Bill Bailey had to stand up.
Also, when Greg plays that in, ONE GUY IN THE AUDIENCE GOES ‘YEAH!’
Greg: “oh, they’re in tonight…I say they, there’s only one that’s not dead..”
Russell: “my uncle John had a band called the Truth and the Happy Endings, and it was him and his five daughters,”
BIG REACTION FROM DAISY AND GREG
Greg: “is their anyone you haven’t worked with, Nile?”
Noel: “THE WURZELS.”
Mae: [raises hand]
Nile, perfectly: “the Happy Endings..”
Gonna be honest, the bit where Greg suggests Nile flip his middle name around and change his name to Greg didn’t work as well for me, and honestly should have been cut, because this entire intro stuff before we even get into the game is SIX AND A HALF MINUTES LONG. Are we forgetting that Never Mind the Buzzcocks works because of ‘Never Mind the Buzzcocks’?
But this bit only works because A.) Nile only yes-ands so much [jokingly going “let me call my attorney”], and B.) Greg is pointing out how much of a gamble the bit is, saying “I’ve got into a lot of trouble presuming Nile would do this.”
Though the ending bit where confetti falls, dancers come out and a sign that reads ‘CONGRATULATIONS GREG RODGERS’ falls while ‘Good Times’ plays is pretty fun.
Nile: “…look what you’ve done to my drink.”
HAAAA. Okay that made it worth it
Greg: “can we pause to get the confetti off the autocue?”
I’m sorry, I now can’t see a clip of Grace Jones without thinking of Dara O’Briain going ‘SLAAAAVE…TO THE RHYTHMMMM..”
Okay, literally the first scripted line of the show, “that was the singing dodecahedron that is Grace Jones”, gets Greg laughing AND gets Daisy laughing. THIS IS WHY YOU READ THE FECKING MATERIAL AHEAD OF TIME.
It’s ‘what was Grace Jones offered to do a gig in 2008’:
Greg, to Nile: “you know Grace Jones, don’t you?”
Nile: “…VERY very well.”
Russell: “so let’s do a bit of detective work, y’ever had goat milk in your coffee?”
How did I know giving Russell an animal in this round would work so well?
Nile talks about how meeting Grace Jones in the back of Studio 54 led to the genesis of Freak Out, and it’s genuinely awesome story and, again, it’s so cool that they got Nile Rodgers.
Greg: “d’you wanna guess where Grace Jones has a lifetime ban from?”
Jamali: “North Korea?”
Greg listens to a solid answer from Daisy [“Weatherspoons?”], and then it registers what Jamali said. “NORTH KOREA?”
Greg: “it’s Disney World, mate”
Russell: “what’d she do there?”
Greg: “got her tit out.”
It’s so natural
Nile does stress that he and Grace have had “some of the wildest, fun times I’ve ever had”
Jamali: “does she have a Playstation?”
PFFF. I forgot how much I enjoyed Jamali’s humor.
Greg talks about rock’n’roll excess but teases that no one will be able to top Nile’s.
Noel: “I used to hang out with Courtney Love but I don’t wanna go up against Nile.”
Greg does reveal that Nile has 8 heart attacks [which Nile corrects as 7] while out partying with Robert Downey Jr. “Did you not think around the fifth heart attack ‘oh, I had better slow down’?”
Noel, as Greg gets back to the GAME ROUND: “this question was about 4 years ago..”
Yeah, that’s the bit I don’t like. They REALLY digress, and it feels like actually playing NMTB is an afterthought
I do like how they come to guess C
Russell: “did she receive it or was she offered it?”
Greg: “she was offered it.”
Russell: “…oh, it’s a baby then.”
On what Will Young was offered at a festival, Greg giggles at all of these:
‘An animal he could not identify’ is such a great comedy writer line.
Jamali, with such a great line: “I did a gig in Switzerland for a couple of drug dealers and they paid me in yen. Like, what the fuck am I gonna do with yen?”
Russell talks about getting a sex toy thrown at him at a gig in Rumford. “How much confidence do you have to have in an evening’s entertainment to go ‘I’ve got my wallet, aah, forgot me dildo…”
Greg: “Mae, have you ever been offered weird payment for a gig…or for anything?”
The audience comes down on him for the end of that, but Greg just goes ‘AW, FUCK OFF.. That’s not the atmosphere tonight!” [PLAYS IN GOOD TIMES]
Mae: “I had someone pay me to run THEM over.”
Greg: “…WHAT.”
Mae: “easiest 20 quid I’ve ever made”
Jamali: “i thought it was an insurance scam..”
PFF
Noel starts talking about the lady in Hackney who’d pop out of the bushes and fuck cars.
Jamali: “SHE’S STILL ABOUT. BY THE ROUNDABOUT!”
PFFFF. I love that Jamali knows exactly the homeless woman he’s talking about.
Jamali: “she’s quick, too, you don’t see her coming…you know how you know it, your glass shakes like in Jurassic Park.”
This is so damned funny
Greg LOVES this, by the way
Daisy, perfectly: “does she have a type? Like a Honda or a…”
Daisy hasn’t gotten much on so far, but THAT is a good line
Greg: “The last thing the producer said to me before we started was ‘try and keep the filth down a bit’, and we’re talking about a woman who fucks cars.”
AND IT’S SUCH A GOOD BIT, TOO. I’m glad this made it in
Noel: “I want ‘an animal he could not identify’ to be the answer”
Jamal, with another really good line: “no, I feel like Will Young would know all the animals.”
…if only Stacey Solomon were here to do impressions
I didn’t notice this til Intros, but since COVID regulations have been relaxed, we actually get chairs close to each other again, and Intros can happen with Jamali still at the desk rather than going out into the middle of the stage.
Mae and Noel’s first intro isn’t getting through to Jamali.
Mae: “I don’t know what else I can do.”
Noel: “you can run him over with a car..”
Daisy: “it just sounds like snake-charming music.”
Greg: “…oh, THAT’S RIGHT, IT IS…IT’S AN ALBUM OF SNAKE-CHARMING MUSIC..”
I do like the tired sarcasm Greg brings to this show.
Of course, it’s 7 Days by Craig David, which Greg dances to like a snake in a basket
Russell: “I met a girl in a bazaar on Monday..”
ha!!
Cannot hear ‘Paranoid’ by Black Sabbath in this round without thinking of Vic Reeves asking Chris Moyles if he’s ever heard any music before.
Noel: “I think you like this song.”
Jamali: “YOU THINK I LIKE THIS SONG…is it Cotton-Mouth Joe?”
Russell: “Cotton MOUTH Joe?”
Jamali: “oh, it’s Cotton EYED Joe?”
pffff
[DAISY WAILING]
Greg: “it was the follow up single when Joe had got diabetes.”
Oh, that one made me laugh so hard
Greg, when nobody can even get Paranoid, “WELL THIS IS THE SHITTEST INTROS ROUND OF ALL TIME.”
And the weird part is, Daisy hasn’t even started yet
Oh, so they HEARD ME. So…so Daisy’s so bad at intros that as a team captain, she gets to RECEIVE in this round, and Nile and Russell get to do the intros. That is…yeah, a good idea.
Russell, on being in Intros with Nile: “remember in the school band there was always the one kid who just banged the triangle every so often. That’s gonna be me. Just tell me when to bang it, Nile.”
Greg: “Good job you’re not saying that in the 70s at a party.”
Nile and Russell’s first intro is decent enough. At some point, Russell comes in with this odd monkey noise and distracts Daisy
I have to say, once I have the knowledge that it’s Juice by Lizzo, it makes a lot more sense. But yeah, Daisy gets it…somehow.
Russell jokingly says that the two of them are starting a band, and prompts Nile to come up with the title
Nile, knowing what the runner is but not sure: “what was it again? The hard-ons?”
PFFFF
AND DAISY AND GREG ARE DOWN
Nile: “No..”
Russell: “LET’S GO WITH THAT.”
Nile: “the Happy Endings!”
The second intro is so funny, because they’re so far away from Daisy and they’re trying to get closer, but Russell’s basically standing on both chairs and trying not to do a split. It is kinda cool cause it’s Nile Rodgers doing Lost in Music by Sister Sledge, and it’s a very 70s moment. And, yes, Daisy gets this one too. Miracles never cease.
Oh thank god the ID Parade’s back. Though it’s very odd that someone on the last ID Parade that aired has already passed away, Gwyneth Powell.
Oh, the ID Parade for Daisy’s team is members of Republica, who did ‘Ready to Go’, which is a fucking awesome song and I’m not afraid to say it. Also, Saffron was on the show in Series 2 I believe, and I think somebody else from the band was on eventually.
I believe…that is Saffron there, #1.
Jamali: “#4’s vaping. You good?”
#4 confusedly looks at his number, then nods. “I didn’t know what number I was..”
I know I’m not always wild about getting the ID Parade people to talk, but it does provide fun moments
Russell does admit that he does love this song, and he loved Saffron as a kid. “I’m not saying you were on my wall or anything…”
Greg: “this has taken a dark turn..”
Daisy: “Doesn’t #3 look like a music teacher who still writes his own stuff?”
#3, to his credit, loves that one. #4 even hangs onto #3’s shoulder to laugh at that
They’re all having fun with #4
Greg: “I’ll tell you what he looks like, off his fuckin’ nut.”
Russell: “you look like you had to travel in a separate bus from the rest of the band..”
#4: “I HAD TO.”
Russell: “yeah, got it absolutely spot on…and, I’ve heard, likes to dress up like a lady in Hackney and fuck cars..”
PFFF
#4: [NODS]
Greg: [PLAYS ‘GOOD TIMES’ BUTTON]
Greg’s intro for #3 for ‘The Real Thing’: “Email Password is PussyKing’
pffff
AND JUST THE CONTRAST WITH
THAT’S SO DAMN FUNNY
Greg, not prepared at all: “#5: DOCTOR PLEASE HELP ME, SHOULD MY PISS STING?”
GODDAMMIT. I’m crying now, dear lord
Jamali: “I dunno, #3’s got this kinda scary vibe like he stands under lampposts flippin’ a coin..”
Jamali: “#5 looks like a parallel universe Nile Rodgers that never stopped the party”
He just nods. Like ‘that is a compliment..’
Greg: “SIXTEEN HEART ATTACKS!”
Jamali: “and I think it’s 1 and 5 because #1 really laughed when I said that about #5..”
HAAA
Jamali: “like ‘I’VE BEEN DEALIN’ WITH THIS GUY’S SHIT FOR YEEEARS..”
Jamali’s having such a good show
Turns out it is 1 and 5 as well. So the ID Parade was a total success
Fun bit in Next Lines where Russell recognizes a line from Humble by Kendrick Lamar, raps the next line and it turns out to be a completely different line.
Also, Nile gets the wrong next line to Get Lucky. HOW DARE.
And then Noel, after the joke about #5 in Daisy’s ID Parade having a badly-applied Saffron wig:
“…may or may not have stolen this when I went for a wee earlier…”
Noel’s still fantastic on this show
Noel even gets to do the next line from Ready to Go in that wig. So yes, the bit was worth it, unlike that name change bit that lost us some time early
Overall: It’s funny, I still have a lot of the same problems I had with last series, but I still get a really good vibe from this show. This panel really got along- I think only Nile had a little trouble with panel connecting, but everybody else, including Russell and Mae, got it 100%. Intros round and ID Parade were both great, and the decision to move Daisy to receiving intros was a great one. Noel and Daisy are still great captains but Jamali had the bigger show. I really wish we hadn’t digressed so often because the actual opening game round was nonexistent. The second half made up so much ground, and the funny bits that came up naturally impressed me more. Also, just great to have Nile Rodgers here. So, while not perfect, a steadier start to the series than 29×01, and a good sign of things to come.
Best Regular: Jamali Maddix cracked me up this show
Best Guest: Honestly, Russell was the most seamless panel presence and did the most without outshining anyone or being outshined. I always love him on this show because it’s never solely about him, and he just fits in seamlessly while feeling like he’s always been there.
Best Runner: The Happy Endings
NEXT WEEK: Daisy May Cooper and Roisin Conaty on the same panel. Expect cackling. Lots of cackling. Also, a pretty cool pop crossover get in the same vein as Ellie Goulding from last series.
In which Jordan writes about stuff 