Okay, Milton and Josh are here, that’s a solid panel setup. The sixth guy…is a gamble.
There’s no denying that Joe Wilkinson has found success in the UK comedy scene. He became a fixture on Cats Does Countdown, he’s a stand up show regular, and he’s definitely made himself a name as a dour, semi-absurdist character. But…here he is on a Mock the Week. It’s his only one. I’ve always thought he wasn’t a great fit for the show. We’ll reassess it here. But I think it’s a booking that may not have been the best idea.
If This is the Answer: Politics; 8%
Joe, of course: “is it, eh, how much of my body isn’t covered in hair?”
Dara: “…NO. No, it is NOT that..”
Already, you can see how this show responds to Joe
Andy, who can’t believe he gets to make jokes about this guy again: “is it how much of Abu Hamza will have to be removed so they can get him through the Heathrow metal detector?”
Not only is this a great joke, but you can hear Chris [and Andy actually] cracking up halfway through it
Josh: “is it how much of Anne Robinson’s face can still move?”
Milton: “is it…what looks like an obese parent and two obese children on a see-saw?
Nobody thinks quite like him
Andy, playing topical: “is it how many people involved in the film Innocence of the Muslims still think that all publicity is good publicity?”
I think my favorite one comes from Hugh: “is it what percentage of X Factor contestants HAVEN’T had a granny die?”
PFFFF. It’s not only satirical but it’s just funny
Andy, who rarely ever goes into this level of humor: “is it what level of erection did I once try to have sex with?”
JESUS
Chris: “I’ve got an image of you checking your wallet, ‘condom…protractor…'”
The question concerns the lib-dems, and there was a joke about Abu Hamza. Is it 2006 again?
It’s also about UKIP, which now finally gets mentioned on this show, replacing liberal-democrat as the third-most-popular political affiliation in the UK, which is bleak as fuck the more ya think about it. Andy adds “Nick Clegg said he wanted to create three-party politics, didn’t he? And he’s achieved that, but sadly his party’s not one of ’em…”
Josh addresses people calling politicians who live in Britain and have offshore accounts in the Cayman islands ‘getting the best of both worlds’. “That’s not the best of both worlds, the best of both worlds would be banking in the Cayman Islands and LIVING in the Cayman Islands..”
Hugh talks about the average age of owning a home getting higher and higher. “By the time Osborne finishes up, starter homes are gonna have stairlifts..”
I love Chris miming ‘taking a girl upstairs’ and using the stairlift
We’re still trying picture of the week, and Dara asks for the panelists to sum up this picture of Andrew Mitchell with a phrase.
Joe: “cock on a bike!”
Chris: “Chief whip chased by giant chess pawn”
PFF
Josh: “Is it Spielberg Disappointed with Sequel to E.T.?”
[So they’re playing it like headliners, without the provisions]
Hugh: “or is he simply shouting ‘open the effing gate you plebby scum’?”
JUST THE WAY HE SAYS THAT
It is about Mitchell calling the policeman a pleb, which puzzles everyone
Hugh: “Michael Gove’s probably going ‘that’s a latin word, there’s a classical education..”
Andy: “these are the people, though, who are charged with protecting him. You don’t wanna upset them! ‘Oh yes, I DIDN’T catch Mr. Mitchell as he fell from the second floor of the building…I didn’t think he’d want me to touch him, given that I’m a PLEB and everything…”
This is a weak-ish topic but some of these ways of looking at it are good
Josh: “of course, you’ve gotta decide who you’re gonna trust, a policeman or a Tory MP, it’s very difficult to know which one is more likely to lie to you..”
A FEW PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE ARE OUTRAGED AT THAT
Dara, immediately: “OI, LAST WEEK. HILLSBOROUGH. 23 YEARS. ARE YA KEEPING UP WITH THE PAPERS AT ALL?”
Andy: “do you find abusing the audience helps the way the rest of the show’s gonna go?”
Dara: “YES! ‘OOOOOOH’. How low is your shock gauge at??”
Andy, joining in: “FUCKING GET A GRIP!”
This is so silly. I understand why Dara’s protecting the show, and Josh, but it’s gotten very silly
Chris says the Sun is confirming the usage of ‘pleb’, “and who else has better access to police files.”
THE AUDIENCE TURNS ON THIS ONE TOO
Chris: “WHAT THE FUCK?”
Dara: “WHAT DO YOU WANT??”
It’s been a while since we’ve seen an audience this displeased. I’m comparing it to 6×02 from Whose Line.
Chris: “I didn’t realize there was a coach FROM THE SUN here, I’m so sorry…”
Josh: “You’ve pushed ’em too far, Addison, you’ve had a go at THE SUN.”
Josh: “nobody’s looking at that picture going ‘well is he gonna reveal himself to be posh? I wonder..”
Unsurprisingly, Josh is having the best round of the guests
Hugh: “he also seems to have a very odd bicycle where you cycle with both feet at the same level”
Decent opening round, but not perfect. The topic selection wasn’t great. Andy brought up two topics in the opening, like Abu Hamza and the controversy over the islamaphobic film, which would have been a bit more interesting than this. And I know I’ve been praising the topic selection all season, so it was bound to happen eventually, but a combination of that and some quiet showings from Chris, Joe and Milton so far is concerning me.
Stand Up Round: Josh, Joe and Milton
Josh’s, on catering, isn’t one of my favorites of his, just describing the lengths you go to at a continental breakfast at a hotel vs. at home. I like some of his comedy details, like “some segments of a fruit I’ve never heard of” and “12 of the smallest orange juices you have ever seen in your life.” Other than that, a lot of easy observations. Maybe it’s cause I’m American.
Joe’s opening line on smoking: “I’ve actually given up smoking becau-well, that’s a lie…”
It’s honestly a round that’s more reliant on his delivery and his dour persona than anything, but I did like his ideas to stop smoking including “put a warning on cigarette packets that says ‘ONE OF THESE FAGS HAS BEEN UP A DOG’S ARSE.’…yeah, I think that’ll separate the men from the boys, won’t it? OR, simply make cigarettes cock-shaped.”
I liked a great deal of this set, but I think at the end of the day I still don’t love Joe as a stand-up. He’s the kind of guy that’ll only work for me so much, even if he makes a good joke. It’s the opposite of someone like Nish Kumar, where I do like him as a personality but I don’t like a lot of his jokes.
Milton’s highlights, on school:
-First of all, he comes up and, with the juxtaposition of the century, goes ‘that last bloke was a bit weird, wasn’t he?”
I love this. Gonzo comedian outdone by gonzo comedian.
JOE:
I like that Milton realizes how important the collaboration between two comics known for having a specific, ironed-on persona is, and how important it is for him to contrast against Joe.
-“I went back to my old school the other day, first time in 30 years…I took a note.”
Heh
-“I was there for the funeral of my old science teacher. They asked me to say a few words, so I did. ‘METHOD.: WE PUT THE COFFIN IN THE CREMATORIUM. OBSERVATIONS: It burned with an ORANGEY BRIGHT FLAME..”
PFFFF
“CONCLUSION….no more homework.”
Beautiful
I wasn’t thinking much of that Milton set for a bit but MAN was that science teacher joke excellent. That and the initial Joe move made me think that even if this didn’t stand out too much from other Milton sets, his moves, and his intelligence onstage, is still unparalleled.
Alright stand-up round. Not the best Josh and Milton sets of late, and Joe’s was…well, a Joe Wilkinson set, so not really for me.
Headliners: P.R.R.T.
[please have a fart joke]
Andy: “is it Prankster Removes Romney’s Teeth?”
Milton, smartly: “is Obama saying ‘PRRT, seven letters, Belgian detective…”
I LOVE THIS ONE. Man, Milton is just on fire
Andy, self-referentially: “is it Public Reaction Reaches Tepid”
Dara: “yes, essentially..”
Dara: “yeah, correct answer?”
Hugh: “President Reads Radio Times?”
Dara: “NOT PRESIDENT Reads Radio Times…”
Way too short an actual Headliners round, there were like 5 of them. I really hate the disdain production has for this round in this era. There’s funny stuff! They had so much fun with it in the early series? Come on!
Andy has some satirical points on the state of the republican party in 2012, putting up Romney, who lost the nomination to McCain, who lost the nomination to Bush. It’s a good point, but sad when you realize what they decided on.
Hugh talks about some of the 2012 also-rans, “Newt Gingrich, who would have been the first president to use his porn name…and Ron Paul, who’s really right-wing, but to me he sounds like the first Pope from Essex.”
Joe, on Romney: “he made himself appear a bit darker to appeal to the Latino community…I think he went a little far when he started shaking maracas.”
PFFF
Josh mistakes Romney’s wife’s plane catching fire with his wife wanting to smoke on the plane, which Dara and Josh have fun with [“It’d be quite a gaffe, arsoning on a plane”]
Dara: “just imagine at the convention, “THANK YOU VERY MUCH….STOP, STOP” as she’s setting fire to the podium..CONSTANTLY on the campaign trail patting out fires that his wife has started…”
Dara points out that Romney’s defense was saying there’s no air on the plane and the windows are closed, “I don’t know WHY they do that, it’s a REAL PROBLEM”
Chris:
Chris just sells it
Dara: “I dunno what worries me more, that he doesn’t understand how airplanes work, or that he doesn’t understand how FIRE works…”
Josh: “he actually suggested they use the petrol to put out the fire..”
Dara: “yes, DOUSE IT IN PETROL, that’ll keep it quiet for a while. OLD NEWSPAPERS!”
Chris: “IN-FLIGHT MAGAZINES, PASS YOUR IN-FLIGHT MAGAZINES ROUND..”
Dara: “smother it in SHAVINGS OF WOOD…..IT SEEMS TO BE GETTING BIGGER.”
This is such a funny bit
Chris, on the line Romney had about not wanting people to ‘get tired’ of his wife, premieres an impression of Ann that’s just a high pitched shouty voice.
Dara: “so now Ann Romney is just a New York muppet..”
It’s such a goofy impression, too
Dara: “in other news, who are arming themselves with rifles and pots of nutella?”
Chris: “is it the Loose Women?”
This show could use more wrong answer jokes, honestly
Josh: “it’s the people who are killing the badgers…I sounded more sad than I was there.”
Dara: “You made it sound like the most horrible thing- it’s the PEOPLE who are KILLING THE BADGERS..WHY, MUMMY, ARE THE PEOPLE KILLING THE BADGERS?”
Andy, patting him on the shoulder: “there, there..”
Dara: “I know, Josh, that you are the ‘young comic’ on the panel, but there’s no reason to make yourself look like an 8-year-old child…”
Hugh, as badgers are being killed to stop the cows from getting tuberculosis: “cows, badgers, badgers, cows…that may be too black-and-white.”
APPLAUSE. Chris even does a ‘HUGH DENNIS’ so he can do a curtain call.
Dara: “you say it’s black and white now, it’ll be black and white and red all over.”
AUDIENCE MEMBERS ‘AWWW’ AGAIN
Dara: “Okay, is that groan because of the pun or because of the poor badgers?”
Andy: “Brian May is against the badger culling, and you can see why. He’s only gotta walk through the countryside before someone tries to shoot his hair off.”
Dara: “what was the name of his organization?”
Chris, too quickly: “QUEEN.”
Hugh: “Queen, yeah.”
Dara: “NOOO….”
I laughed hard at that
Josh: “The reason he is protecting badgers is cause judging by that picture, he owns the world’s largest badger…”
YES.
Dara: “and what a badger it is. It’s like a badger of DESTINY…look at the face of that badger, it says ‘I AM ABOVE SUCH TINY CONSIDERATIONS…”
Dara: “he also seems, at that moment, to be on a zimmer frame, so it’s really not looking good for Brian…I BOUGHT MY FIRST STARTER HOME…”
YES, ALL THE WAY BACK
Dara: “and I shall fill it with badgers, including the GIANT BADGER WHO STARES OFF INTO THE DISTANCE”
Joe: “They said they were gonna kill 3000 of them, and I was kinda wondering what they were thinking of doing with them afterwards…because I’m a part time taxidermist, and I’d really like to have a badger army..”
Joe is a less likable proto-James Acaster
A much better discussion round. The Romney stuff worked, the badger stuff was really damn funny and kept producing good stuff. I can see why they cut out some of Headliners, because the badger stuff needed to be in there. And it brought out the best in the panel, everybody. I was worried this’d be a down show but somehow the energy here is really impressing me.
Scenes We’d Like to See:
“Unlikely Things to Hear in a News Programme”
Andy, simply: “welcome to Sky News…at the moment, the sky is BLUE.”
Big reaction from the panel
Hugh: “right now, let’s go over to the news in the shitty place you live.”
Hugh: “this is the world’s most literal reporter saying…back to the studio!”
I love this one
Andy: “and now for the weather report, let’s hope it’s a hot one…ah, no, it’s Rob McElwee.”
HA
Milton, again reminding us he can be dark whenever he wants to: “and, finally…”
dear lord
Hugh: “I’m in the Hague…which must be very uncomfortable for him.”
Milton: “a quick look at the weather now” [glances around]
He’s…you know, every time he has a quiet conversation round I underestimate him, like a fool
“Unlikely Things to Read on a Medical Label”
Hugh: “Use only if you’re immobile or if you find it difficult to move. Tested on Dara O’Briain.”
Always works
Chris, whose simplicity here made me laugh: “Groin cream. Not suitable for people with a nut allergy.”
Hugh: “embarrassed using anusol? Why not try this…ARSE-CRACK-SOOTHE?”
Milton: “do not eat Derry, otherwise we’ll have nowhere to milk the cows…”
Andy, going ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE TOP: “VIAGRA: it’ll give you MORE THAN 8%”
That’s a pretty well-engineered callback
Josh: “Viagra, take 15 minutes before sex, or if single, strap in for the wank of a lifetime”
PFFFF
Joe: “keep out of reach of children. Not the tablets, YOU.”
Hugh: “pregnancy test: pick up your daughter’s boyfriend and shout WAS IT YOOOUUU?”
Alright SWLTS, though this was littered with smart moves throughout kinda blah topics.
Overall: I was so prepared for this show to not work, and yet this is actually a pretty decent, if flawed, show. The second half is much better than the first, and the Headliners round made up a lot of momentum lost early. This is also just a very smart and well-thought out show, with Andy, Milton, Josh and Hugh providing a lot of really good moves throughout that impressed me, even if this wasn’t an outwardly hysterical show. I do think Joe was slightly wrong for the show, but he did the best he could in this situation. I also think the topics early on were weak, but some external factors, like panel similarity or just the audience being in a foul mood, made up for a lot of that. I imagine a lot of people don’t love this one, and it doesn’t match up to the heights of this half, but I really appreciated a lot of the energy and direction of the humor, and I think it was saved by this episode coming in this half, when the show’s figured out a ton more than it did earlier in the series.
Best Regular: Andy Parsons, who had a lot of smart moves all night and jumped off the energy really well.
Best Guest: Josh had the more consistent night, even if I want to put Milton here despite his weaker conversation rounds.
Worst Performer: Joe sadly has to go here, but he still did some stuff I liked.
Best Round: Headliners. That badger bit was glorious.
Best Topic: Mitt Romney
Best Runner: The groaning audience
COMING UP NEXT: A similar setup to this show. Two trusted guests, one that’s on the way out.
In which Jordan writes about stuff 